Category: Life Lessons - Coach to Expect Success

Prudence - wait, what??

2/12/2020

The character trait of Prudence is one we don't hear too much about. In fact, if you are like me you had to do a double take at it and then probably look it up. Here it is: "The ability to do the right thing, at the right time for the right reason." It's about our decisions and how they affect us now and in our future!

There were 2 videos that I had my students check out for some indications of Regrets that some people shared about their lives. If we can recognize when we are in a moment that our choices and decisions will matter for our future - that's powerful to know about. First was this video "Life Lessons from 100 Year Olds" where they interviewed 3 people that were over 100 years of age. One big thing that I noticed from all three, were their smiles and laughter. Amazingly inspiring listening to these people sharing stories of things that they have been through. I also thought right away, how I want to be like that too. Being full of gratitude, energy, love, purpose to get up everyday, etc. What a blessing it was to watch, listen and learn from them.

The other video was just as meaningful as we watched 70 people talk about their regrets in life. This video was titled, "70 People Ages 5-75 Answer: What Do You Regret?" It was again, amazing to listen to their experiences and thoughts about things that they have been through. Learning from other people's stories and experiences saves us from making similar mistakes. We can learn without making those same choices or at least better understand things before we still might make those choices. Most of my students learned a lot from this one too. For me, the few that were older than me... twenty-two of them, got me thinking about what is coming for me in the years ahead and I think often of these lessons as I'm trying to make good choices & decisions every day of my life. Amazing things can happen when we look at things differently and start to think differently too. In fact, I'm getting emotional right now blogging about these thoughts and ideas. I'm finding myself wanting to be better, do better, work harder, to have the courage to do things that help me go after my dreams and goals... like I said, amazing things can happen when we jump into these thoughts and ideas. How about you join me? Check these videos out and let me know what you are thinking and feeling.

Become Courageous

11/8/2019

This week's blog assignment had a couple of things to check out. First was this video, "Become Courageous - A Motivational Video" had so many great reflections for us to use on ourselves. One of the first things that really jumped out to me was this thought "What would your life look like if you decided to be courageous?"  WOW... I've never really heard that question asked before, let alone try to apply it to myself. It's a really powerful one if you take it to heart. I start to think about the many areas that I need to be more courageous in my life and I find it encouraging to think about the results that might come my way with having more courage in those areas. One is for sure to keep going after my dream of doing more with podcast, writing a book (or more than one), developing a few video/audio courses, and other things. I can see myself doing it - I just need to get through the limiting beliefs that are holding me back. Nobody's fault other than my own.    Do me a favor, ask yourself that question above and get back to me on any thoughts you may have.

Another question from this first video is "What would your life look like if you decided not to care what other people thought of you?"  For one thing, I do care what some people think of me - those that I love and care for, the important people in my life. My family, close friends, etc. Others? The critics in the world? The negative ones? NO WAY! I need to not let their opinions hold me back - especially since their opinions don't pay my bills!! How are you with this one?? For some people they worry way too much what others think about them.

The other video link - "Golden Buzzer - Kodi Lee" showed a super talented young man who is blind and is autistic, show tremendous courage when he did a 5 STAR performance on America's Got Talent. The look on the judges faces were something to see, especially Simon. ;-)    This emotional and super-powerful performance is something that you need to check out. Since we are talking about bravery & courage, check out Kodi's mom. Talk about a lady who is brave and strong, but one who has so much compassion for her son. That is another huge lesson for all us as the world needs more of those traits now. This story really sends the message that we all are totally capable of doing great things as people with so many more difficulties and challenges are doing great things in their lives. I asked myself, what is my excuse as to why I'm not doing more things that I know I want to do, and even more importantly - I need to do them.   How about you?

Finally, I put out a challenge to my students (and myself too) to have the courage to see what we can individually do to unplug from forms of technology that are really getting in the way and causing us problems. Whether it's our phones, computers, video games, etc. This is a powerful reflection moment for us to do some checking to see where we can have some self-improvement. I know I need to maybe switch my time on technology devices to be more productive. There are things that I need to spend time on - there are a couple of training / educational / self-improvement items that need my attention, compared to other non-productive things that I do with technology. I see this happening in school and in all around life way too often and the sad thing about it is that most of the people don't see themselves doing anything wrong or negative. Time is one of THE most important resources we have and we seem to be "wasting" it more and more when it comes to technology. What would you challenge yourself to get better at with technology?

Learning About Creativity & It's Importance In Life

10/30/2019

For this week's Positivity Project term about Creativity, I had to admit to myself and my students that this is (at first) was a rough one for me. You see, I don't really consider myself as a creative person. I do see, like most people, that I am a bigger critic with myself than any other person could ever be. So as I read and listened to the author that wrote "Creative Solutions To Life's Challenges" I got both views - one from the essay he wrote and then the other from the audio of him reading what he wrote. Frank Walker did a great job with this piece.

This helped me right away to see that I am more creative than I think I am. It got me thinking about my parents when I was growing up and how creative they were along with my family members at the time - grandparents, aunts & uncles, friends of my parents, etc. They all gave me lessons in creativity every day of my life it seems. Now that I am in my 50's I can say I'm more creative in things in my life, but not to the extent that they all were (from what I remembered) every day in their lives. Great lessons none-the less.

I also connected with the fact that I can't let labels that some may put on my on what I do for a living, limit me and my confidence. Like many things, I have a choice as to what I do and not do with taking in other people's opinions about just because I'm a teacher, that I do or don't have a lot of Creativity. All that I know is that the world needs the different amounts of creativity that everyone brings to the world from all different areas and we certainly can't go after things in our lives based upon other people's opinions.

This is a good piece of reading for you to check out - or listen to. It got me thinking out of my comfort zone, hope it does for you too.

Perspective - 3 Short Stories To Help

10/29/2019

Found 3 very short stories to help us see and think about having a little more Perspective in our lives. The 3 stories are HERE.

The first of these 3 stories is about "The Muddy Road" - 2 monks are walking and one stops to help a lady out of the mud. So he carries her to safety and puts her down and continues on his way. The other monk is worked up that he did that since they are not supposed to be around females, let alone touch one. The one who helped the lady mentions that he left her back there, why is he still worried about her? Carrying on a worry, burden, etc., does not good for our future. That enables us to keep having that one event cause us more problems than it originally did back when it happened. I know we need to learn from this mistake, maybe even remember some moments of it so we can learn and get better. I also try to let it go. I'm not always successful with that, but I know I need to.

The second story is titled "The Two Wolves" where a grandfather is telling the story to his grandson on how we all have 2 Wolves inside of us.. the good one and the bad one. The one that wins is the one we feed the most! The negative or positive voices we have... that's the key. We all battle with trying to do the right things in our life and we can be our own worst critic for sure. But it is shown over and over again which ever "voice" we let drive us, the one we "feed" the most is the one that will control our thoughts, etc. The key is WE have choice.

The final of the 3 stories is "The Farmer's Fortune" - so many things happen to this farmer and his son, and every time a neighbor says to him "that's too bad that happened..." or "isn't it fortunate that that happened...". The farmer responds the same each time... "perhaps" is all he says. He doesn't pile on in misery & complaining when things are not going well, nor does he get all fired up when things are great. He stays even keeled... no emotional swings or reactions... that's a great message for all of us. It's far more important as to what our reaction is compared to what actually happened to us. We never know the next door to open tomorrow no matter what we went through today.

This was a good and quick exercise to try. Click on the file link above and see what you can get out of these stories as far as perspective goes. Then let me know your thoughts. :-)

Being Present - A Story From A Plane Crash

10/10/2019

What a story - one that most people have heard about the incident itself, but not the first hand account that Ric Elias shares. It was a perfect fit with our Positivity Project thought for the week - "Being Present & Giving Others My Attention."

His story was all about being on the flight that crashed in the Hudson River in New York City on January 15, 2009. He brings up some very emotional and valuable lessons here about life and what is really important. It reminds us that things can change in the blink of an eye and then depending on the circumstances, we can either do something about what's going on or like in his story, he couldn't.

He reminds us that EGO is a problem and it's one that we have to get over in our lives and the sooner the better. More things matter than ourselves, that's for sure. The fact that he quickly thought of all the things he didn't get a chance to do = a lesson for us not to put things off. I personally loved the wine example that he is not going to save another bottle for sometime later, if there are good people around today to share it with.

We learn so many lessons from tragedies that we would hope they stick with us, but usually those lessons blow by in the wind. A key is the lessons we can learn from HIS story without us having to go through it ourselves. Again, the power of a story is huge. Lessons we can learn at someone else's expense.

I plan on always looking to do things that mean more to me rather than tasks that I "have to do" or am "expected to do" from society, etc. Truthfully, I have put off so many things in my life and at my age, things I have been through personally in my life and stories like this and countless others that I've seen others go through - it's more than time to keep making changes in order to do those things that I need and want to make. ]

Check out the video HERE. Then think about some of the things he says. Role play and empathize if that was you in his seat and how would this experience change you and the rest of your life??

EQ - It's A Difference Maker

10/1/2019

Found a great article that I had to share with my students on the importance on having Emotional Intelligence in our lives in order to succeed. Check out the article HERE. It got me thinking about a book that I read years ago called.."The Emotional Intelligence Quick Book" by Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves. It's one that I had to pull out of one of my bags as I put it in there with great intent to read it this past summer... needless to say I did not but I still need to read this again.

EQ is something that all of us can work on to get better at. It has so much to do with all the important areas of life - check out this picture that is a great indicator:

Looking at these "leaves", I can see so many of them that (at least to me - my opinion) that they simply blow having a large IQ, out of the water!! Now again, don't get me wrong as I know having a great IQ is not horrible. But the way I see it, the things on this "tree" are just a lot more meaningful in & throughout life that I'd take these things first. It's a good thing too, since I know my IQ is not off the charts anywhere.

Emotional Intelligence predicts performance, so it certainly seems like a good thing to work on and try to improve throughout our lifetime. As I sit here and think about my students (some, maybe not all of them) and the opportunity they have for their lives to improve them, now, at their age... wow I am just blown away comparing it to my timeline of knowing about this after the age of 35 (at least!)

This brings a HUGE connection to our term this week from our Positivity Project - Open Mindedness. It's so powerful to be able to take some new ideas and come up with ways of improving ourselves. So the backend of this idea of my students getting exposed to these skills now at their young ages compared to me where it was later in life, and think of all the people who never take a venture out to learn about EQ or even improving their own EQ. WOW! I think we all know plenty of people who need to work on improving this in their lives, but choose to ignore it or even let their negative thinking get in the way of ever even trying. I know that I do not want to be one of those people who won't ever look at this "tree" above and not want to try and get better in all of those "leaves".

Teamwork - From A High Schooler's Point of View

9/25/2019

Our most recent blog assignment was all about our current Character term for the week - Teamwork. I found a TED Talk from a high school senior that shared some ideas about teamwork. Find the video HERE on Youtube.

I found it very interesting that he brought up the fact that most teens (a lot of older people too) don't really like working in groups. It seems all to often that we are the ones doing most, if not all the work for the others in the group. Not only is that many times the case, it's done on purpose from the others. They want someone else to do the work for them and then take the credit for it. Obviously that is not good teamwork at all. It's also funny that so many people agree that they are the ones doing all the work and it's the OTHER PEOPLE that are looking for the free ride. That doesn't leave many people in that other people group. :-)

I had a discussion with my classes about this topic and really the importance of seeing this not just as a school connection, but a life connection. Looking back I can't remember ever a time, in all my jobs where I did not have to work with other people or depend on others to get things done. It seems with all the technology in the world today, we still need people to help us get things done. We may use forms of technology to get things accomplished, but those things will always be about and be for people. That's why I think it's imperative for us to keep looking to get along with people. It's not that we have like everyone, but we should look to work with others to get things accomplished. In today's "I'm right, your wrong" type of society, this makes sense to at least try and work on. It's not easy, but it is for sure worth it. The more we can learn about ourselves and others, the better things will be. That will be one of my things that I will always be spending time working on. Teamwork is where it's at.

John O'Leary Podcast with Dr. Kelli Harding - Life Changing Stuff!

9/20/2019

John O'Leary is quickly becoming my favorite podcast to listen to as it is always emotionally connecting and rejuvenating that I'm finding that I can't miss it. His book "On Fire" is my favorite book, and I also need to get back into reading that book again soon. I need to get connected with this guy even more with all that he has to offer. Great stuff!

When this podcast came out recently, where he interviewed Dr. Kelli Harding, I knew I had to not only share this with my students as a blog assignment, but also to share it with others - which I have. ;-) One of the first lessons that got to me was simply the fact that our technological social world is actually changing our lives - heck, it's been proving to change our biology as Dr. Harding states. It's kind of scary. As I write this, I see a few of my students (the ones doing it a lot) on their phones.. the look withdrawn, low energy, they have work that needs to be done, they have questions they could be asking me; real life taking a back seat to a 7-inch screen. :-(

Another of the many things that struck me as being HUGE LESSONS - was the fact that our relationships can make such a big difference. I have seen that thousands and thousands of times in my life, even this week and truthfully - I've seen it (and experienced it) today! Not quite sure what I would do if it wasn't for the people that I have in my life.

Finally, my third catch from this fantastic podcast - by the way, you can find it HERE - is this awesome quote she shared with the listeners in this podcast, “True health is hidden in the million tiny moments of everyday life.” This statement is so valid, it's just dripping with authenticity and truth! These happen every day and we miss so many of them, I know I do for sure, because we are all caught up in the wrong things that we are trying to keep up with. This is another of many reminders to stop and figure this point out!

Powerful stuff.. this keeping up with my students is fun, challenging, but mostly, it's a very good thing. :-)

The Sting

8/14/2019

The power of reading great books can be life-changing for sure. "Lead With No Apologies" by Jesse A. Cole, Jr. is one of those books. Find the book HERE. One of the main points I wanted to share today was about having an important conversations with your future self. Sounds a little bit strange, I know. But, it's a really powerful concept to try and wrap your head around too.

Think about what your future self would tell you about things that you did well to get you where you will be in the future. Not this can be for a year, five years, whatever time period you want it to be. But also be ready for the tough feedback you might hear from your future self too. Now i'ts not meant to be embarassing or maybe it is. You see, it will only be for you. Nobody else has to know about it. It's not going to be out there all over social media - only if you put it out there will it be.

Hopefully the things that your future self brings up to you, are things that you already know. It's a way to put some skin into the game about fixing things that you know you should fix. I know as I have this important conversation with my future self, many of them in fact - I know it's leading me in a fantastic direction for my life. I hope it can for you too. Remember, your past is your best mentor. Never forget where you came from too. It's connected to your future more than you think. So when you have that important conversation with your future self, remember you both will know and understand those things from your past. You have either learned lessons from those things or maybe you have not learned the lessons yet. Either way, you have the opportunity to start learning from them. That will make for a brighter future too.

Check out more from Jesse Cole at: https://www.kingdommogulcoaching.com/

Examine Our Lives With Gratitude

8/7/2019

Another amazing event that we had this past weekend that came with more life lessons that made a big impact on me. We went to a fantastic wedding - BIG SHOUT OUT to Kelsey & Cody!! Amazing time with so many awesome people. There were so many of my former students there in attendance - besides the bride & groom being former students too. It reminded me as to how much gratitude I have for these "kids" - I guess they will always be my kids eventhough they are all playing the adult game of life & playing it really well. So many of my former students inspire me with not only what they are doing now with their lives, but they also inspired me when they were in high school too. So many valuable conversations that I had with them throughout their years in school. Many times I got so much positive feedback and encouragement from them, that there was a distinct difference they made in my life.

Combined with some items from Brian Buffini's book again - "The Emigrant Edge", all about gratitude. It should be a core value of our lives as it affects really all that we do. I felt so much gratitude at this weeding. Not only for all the great people around, but mostly because I was with my wife! Going to a wedding in which there are great people, great food & drink, fantastic music, a lot of room to walk around, along with watching my wife enjoy herself so much. I'm blessed with so much gratitude having her in my life - for almost 30 years of marriage.

Another BIG SHOUT OUT to Dr. Jeff Lip and his latest guest, Denyse from Canada. I think it was his best show that he has evver done - please check that out (and all of his shows) at www.jefflip.com I hope that after you listen to this show - that you take a more examined look at your life. These two are just a small part of so many great relationships that I have in my life. They make such a difference for me in my life.

Check out that person in the mirror a little more often and ask yourself - "how are things going?". Then work whatever your answers are. I know I'm trying to do this everyday. It's all part of doing your life's "homework." Reach out and let me know how your homework is going?