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Family Trip / Legacy

8/15/2023

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Had a great trip with my parents recently where we spent 5 days and 4 nights traveling to Upstate New York - the Lake Placid area.  We went there to celebrate the life of my great aunt who passed away during the last few months, and his son - my dad's cousin - wanted to have a memorial service in the small town of Keene Valley.  It was a busy few days, especially when we got there for the service.  You see, my dad grew up in this area - specifically, he spent his summers there from about the age of 10 through his years after high school.  Growing up in New Jersey was not leading him in the direction that was best for him.  My great aunt helped to raise him and made a major difference in his life.  Truth be told told, in my dad's own words - she saved his life!  Which in turn, helped me to be here too.

Watching my dad's face at this service where he got to see some childhood friends that were also in attendance - was so heartwarming to see.  We were not sure who was going to be there, but not only did he get to see some longtime friends there, but we all learned that my great aunt was that same difference-maker for so many other people.  That's just the way she was.  This service left a huge impression on me in many areas. First, seeing my dad reconnect with people that he spent a large part of his formidable years with.  We got to hear some funny and amazing stories.  My mom and I got to see some areas of Keene Valley & Lake Placid that we never saw before, including the country club where my dad worked as a caddie for some of those summers there.   I learned the importance of people & family & how they all looked out for one another and took my dad is as "one of their own" members of the community.   The fact that what we do in life has a big affect on so many other people.  My dad's legacy will be a special one. My mom's too, as she grew up in the Western New York area.   We have always known a bit more more of her family's heritage, but not so much of my dad's.  This trip helped with that.  

It also taught me some valuable life lessons as I watched a bit more closely with having a lot of time with my parents - who are both in their 80's.  My dad self-admitting that was probably his last time that he will visit this big part of his life.   I also am thinking more and more now about my legacy - as the son of my parents, the grandchild of my grandparents, etc.  What they have all gone through in their lives - the good, and the not so good - all have a direct connection to me, my wife and our kids.  This experience makes me want to be better - for my family and anyone else I have a connection to.  I have had that attitude as a teacher for my career - but now, even as I being "retirement", I know I want to simply keep getting better every day of my life that I have going forward.  My advice? Find time to spend with your family. See where they grew up (if you can).  Talk to them about things from their time growing up.  Hope you can talk to some of their friends / family / people that knew them.  Look to ask yourself - what more can I do to improve my legacy? And thereby, improving your families' too. 

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So many things to not take for granted... Quote of the Week....

7/21/2014

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"Do not take anything for granted — not one smile or one person or one rainbow or one breath, or one night in your cozy bed." ~Terri Guillemets

As I got a little bit of bonus time to sit back and do some thinking over the last few days, this quote was something that came to mind during those moments.  When I read this today, I knew I had to share some thoughts and ideas from time spent contemplating life recently.

You see, I had knee-replacement surgery this past Tuesday, July 15 and during my stay in the hospital for a few days I did take many moments and thinking of all of the many things that I am grateful for.  I’m happy to say that it wasn't the hospital stay that did this for me, for I have thought about these things during other times of my life.  But it was the hospital stay that reminded me about them and I did get to spend more time taking these thoughts in and dwelling on them a lot more than I normally would have.

First thought that came to mind was my health.  Here I was having major surgery on my right knee, yet this was to make it better along with improving my quality of life for everything else; work, doing things with family, not being held back with things I could not do anymore, etc.  There is a saying that if we have our health, we have it all.  I couldn't agree more.  After seeing others in the same predicament and other issues in the hospital, I can honestly say it one major item in my life that I need to work on more in the future and that is taking better care of myself.

Second thought was my family.  I cannot say enough about my wife Susanne.  What she is sacrificing to help me during this time is amazing.  I know there are many times where we get under each others’ skins with the things we do and say, but the love, dedication and support she has given to me during these first few days it’s all been things that I have not left gone unnoticed.   My parents, at age 48 I am still blessed to have my parents in my life where I know for many others my age, older and younger; they cannot say the same thing.  I know too many people that have lost their parents and can never see them again here in this life.  I've reminded my kids plenty of times to make sure they take the time to visit with and talk to all 4 of their grandparents for that’s another rarity in life.  Being 20 or 18 years old and still having all of your grandparents around is such a cool thing that everyone knows won't last.

 My mom came out for the surgery to sit with my wife.  Then both my parents came out the next day to visit me in the hospital and I had just got done with my first session of Physical Therapy.  I was in so much pain while they were there for their visit.  They just supported me for a little bit of time and then they knew I just needed my medicine along with rest, so they took off after a short visit.  Then my wife and kids came in during the evening of that first day in the hospital after my surgery.  My daughter’s boyfriend came too, which was great.  I loved the moments I got to share with them that evening.   My wife came back to visit on Thursday which was great.  Just her and I having some time together – she even snuck in something from Taco Bell for me too.  Then on Friday, I was going home.   My parents come through again.  They came out to the hospital and helped make sure everything was okay, asking questions that I didn't, making sure we all knew the about the discharge instructions, helping to pack up the few things that I had there with me, just making sure I got home safe.

Third – the amount of texts and well wishes that I got before my surgery and after.  It meant so much to me the messages and notes I got from people that remembered that I was having this surgery.  I really didn't post anything about this ahead of time.  Maybe I should have, but I've always been a guy that doesn't like to put the spotlight on myself.  But at the same time, I figured I could write about this and maybe do some other things with this part of my story because maybe it would help someone else going through things that they are facing.

Fourth, the smiles from the staff that worked with me there at the hospital.  Amazing!  It’s been really amazing looking back in this process with all the health care professionals I've dealt with during the last few years battling this knee and other issues.  Their attitudes and professionalism has been one the key factors with me wanting to take on and deal with these things head on.  Their support, caring attitudes, time spent with me and yes their smiles, have all been a very positive difference with me and this entire process.

Another one that I actually had to do and of course it was a great reminder for all of us too, and that is counting our breaths.  I had to count taking deep breaths on a little portable plastic device that measured my breath and when to exhale.  This was set up to help displace any pneumonia scares by giving my lungs a good workout even though I was going to be in bed a lot.  So there I was counting my breaths during all the different times of day and night.  I always remember the line from Tuesday’s With Morrie, where Morrie tells Mitch that it’s a good idea to count our breaths once in awhile, it helps us to keep from putting things off that we know we have to do.  As I counted my breaths, it got me thinking how grateful that I am still able to take my own  breaths and how precious they really are in our lives.

Finally, this quote got me thinking about that first night back in my own cozy bed.   If you have ever stayed in a hospital, I think we all can agree that a good night’s sleep is not usually found there without medications mind you.  I slept decently during my stay as I shared a room with a roommate.  With medical people coming in during all hours of the night for both of us, it was easy to not get a complete night of rest.  My bed really has never felt any better than on that first night back.  

Of course there are many more things that I am thankful for, but these were the ones I connected with this quote.  How about you?  Take a few moments to count your breaths along with some of the many things you are grateful for and let me or others know about it as just by you sharing your grateful items will help others to focus on what they have to be thankful for in their lives.

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Quote of the Week - March 24, 2014

3/25/2014

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"It's hard to beat someone who never gives up." -Babe Ruth

Love this quote... mostly because I need it, but I also heard something like this over the weekend from one of the many basketball games I watched from March Madness.  This is totally true... the Babe was right on with this statement.  From a team standpoint and an individual one too - it is so disheartening, so difficult to go up against someone who just flat out refuses to quit.  On the basketball court everyone can see this clearly.  I pride myself that in all my years of coaching, my teams really never quit - they really never gave up.  Even in huge losses - we never stopped.  Opposing fans, coaches and players.. heck.. even officials often told me that it was great to see my girls never give up in our games.

I, on the other hand, gave up way to much on things growing up.  I know now what a mistake that was and I'm still learning from it, even at age 48.  You see, quitting becomes a habit.  The longer it goes on, the more difficult it is to break.  Most people find it hard to keep going, especially in times of things getting difficult.  That's the time persistence is needed even more.  It's really difficult when people go up against someone who won't quit.  It helps to remind them that they can do the same thing, but they choose not to.

After thinking on this quote a few more times, it really is apparent to me that I need to become that person that the Babe was talking about.  In many respects there are areas that I have not quit.  There are many that I have.  So with the help of Babe Ruth and a few of my students leaving comments on my class site about this quote - this week has started off well.  How's it going for you?  Are you one of the people that Babe Ruth was talking about??  At least ask yourself that question.  
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Quote of the Week - September 2, 2013

9/2/2013

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“People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing.” – Dale Carnegie


This is one of those things that I think most people always are looking for in their lives - finding something to have fun with, be passionate about - and be lucky enough to be doing it for a living. Success comes in so many different forms, but the foundation comes from this statement from Mr. Carnegie, is one of the many things that the sooner we understand it, the better off we are.

For me, teaching is fun.  Working with my students, getting to know them, making a difference with them, helping them see the many possibilities for them and their futures; that's what it's all about.  But now since I've been in education for 24 years, I am looking to make some changes to find other things that will challenge me, make me a better person, help me grow and help me to do more in this limited lifetime that we all get.  No, I'm not leaving the classroom.  Yet.  I do see some different things for me on the horizon - teaching & coaching will always be part of who I am, what I'm about and what I do.  Since I'm still enjoying these things, I know that I am going to continue doing them.  I also know that there are other things out there, dreams that I have had and not yet done much about.  It's time.

What is it for you?  For the adults out there, do you have fun and enjoy what you spend most of your time doing?  Take a few moments to do some homework for yourself - and stop and think about how your life is going, what direction you are going, what are those things inside of you that fire you up?  We all have dreams and ideas of what we would love to do - why not start to try and make some of those things happen?  What could you have fun at and still make a living?  Or, do you have enough spare time to do those things in your life, that help make it worthwhile to keep doing what you are doing?  

Another main point here - life is way too short to do things you hate all the time.  It does us no good at all.   The stress and worry alone affects everything in our lives.  Our health, our relationships with others, our attitudes, etc.  For the younger people out there - great lessons here.  I tell my students all the time.  Find things that fire you up.  Find things that when you wake up in the morning, you can't wait to get started on.  While you are young and in high school (or even before high school), read, talk to people, have your minds open to the many possibilities that are out there; and start identifying things that you enjoy and see how you can get paid to do them.

I am always interested in feedback - but this one would be unique to hear some thoughts and ideas on both sides.  Do you have dreams that you are going after?  Or, do you have dreams and you have felt that there is no use even trying anymore for them.  (remember the discussion points on the grave yard being the most valuable pieces of real estate in the world) Those that hate your job, what do you hate about it? What would you change to make it better?  Let me know - I enjoy learning from others, getting help from others and helping others too! 
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Quote of the Week - August 26, 2013

8/26/2013

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"Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently." -Henry Ford

There was a little bit of a connection to this being a Monday and this wonderful quote from Henry Ford.  When I saw it this morning I thought about the fact that I needed to reset and begin a few things again today, being the start of another week.  This week is crucial leading up to the new school year and there are plenty of things I need to work on in a more intelligent way than I've done before.

This holds true with work things that we have to do, but more importantly it also has to do with life things too.  The sooner we look at the difficulties in our lives, how did we arrive there, what things can we learn from those experiences, how can I make changes so it doesn't happen again; are just some of the things we need to think about.  This of course is all wieved arround the fact that we can't let our own negative thinking get in the way of learning from our failures.

One thought I had when I read this over a few times this morning, was that all the things I've failed at throughout my life, I must not have learned much since some of the things I'm still struggling with.  From there it might be a thought like, 'what makes you think this time will be any different?'   Another one; 'who are you kidding, you know you'll end up right where you started as you have tried this so many times.'

A funny thing though.  As I started running the usual negative thoughts in my head there was a little response, just a little voice that said - hey, this time can be different.  It also said that 'you know you can do this', along with little pictures in my mind about me being successful and actually doing these things that I'm working on doing.  The key is that over time (and for me it's been a long journey) I have learned little bits and pieces even if I wasn't successful at accomplishing things that I wanted to do, I still got just a tiny bit better than I was before.

There is the key!  As long as you come coming back, struggle, try and do more, try and get better, keep trying to accomplish things in your life; this quote from Henry Ford will continue to hold truth for you.  This is why it's important to continue to read and listen to things more than once.  In fact it should be many times - some experts even say almost 20 times we need to read or listen to something for it really to become a habit, or it gets placed inside of us that we can draw on it any time we need it.  What is it for you? What does Mr. Ford's quote mean to you?  How do you connect to it?  As always I invite you to share with me and others your thoughts and ideas about this quote, for there will be many other ideas and thoughts that can help me and others.  It's always great to see someone's thoughts and opinions that can get us thinking differently.  Seeing things from different points of view are always helpful.

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Quote of the Week - June 24, 2013

6/27/2013

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"It's time to break our ties with anything in us that would rather complain about its situation than go to work to change it." - Guy Finley

We always hear about the fact that we have to break ties with OTHER people that complain and are negative all the time.  But what happens when that someone is us? 

As summer continues hopefully we have some time to relax a little and spend some time thinking about how we can make some changes on ourselves that will produce some new results.  In last week's quote - 2 major subject areas came up.  Life and People.  Those two subject areas are crucial to success for sure.  I think the one main piece that fits in with the topic of Life is ourselves.  We always seem to get so worked up about what other people say and do, yet the truth is that we can't do anything about changing them at all.  The only thing we can do is to work on ourselves. 

Another key point to realize and understand sooner than later, is that working on ourselves is not so easy to do.  Since we live with ourselves 24/7 and not only do we battle our own inner voice - which studies have shown we feed ourselves more negative feedback than positive - we also take in outside opinions from others as to how good or bad we are doing in life.

This quote really struck a cord with me, a big connection.  Looking back throughout my history, I can see that my action steps have been lacking in many areas and that I am really the only one that can do anything about it.  Now, I am finally working hard at changing those areas.  Once again, I sure do wish I got working on this earlier in my life.  But I am also very happy that I'm doing something now about it more than I did before.

What about you?  Did you figure out this quote as being true a long time ago?  What are some of the success stories that you have with having a victory over yourself that might be a help to others?  Always looking for new ideas and new ways of thinking.  I'm on a mission to keep getting better.  
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Quote of the Week - April 1, 2013

4/1/2013

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Even with a break from school - I still wanted to get some thoughts out.

"Learn from your failures or be conquered by them." - from livelifehappy.com

This quote just jumped right out at me from two standpoints.  First, learn from your failures is something that I know I need to always focus on in my life.  Sure wish I had a clue about that earlier, but now I do.  Failures happen, but we need to learn from them, make adjustments and move on.  So many times I see myself and others making mistakes and failing... but then we don't learn from them.  Ouch!  Life is all about mistakes happening.  Life has failures in it everyday.  But we don't have to choose to keep making them over and over again, do we?

Second, if we don't learn from our failures and we don't make adjustments to become better or to get through those things that we struggle with - those failures will end up holding us back, really conquering our futures.  There are obviously so many different levels to this as there are different levels of failures.  Another key element to this that when we don't learn from these failures, they will also affect the other people in our lives that we are connected to.

Too many of my failures and shortcomings that I've had in my life have affected my family.  Whereas if I would have learned from them and gotten better, things could be more positive in many ways for me and my family.  These really end up getting in the way of our relationships in life.  Which, if you haven't figured out by now, are really what's important in our lives.  
Any thoughts or ideas on this?  Have you thought about how things like this might be getting in the way for you?  Always looking for discussion points.
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Quote of the Week - February 18, 2013

2/21/2013

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"Remind yourself that you're bound to get better. Don't get down on yourself. Don't beat yourself up. It's the next opportunity that matters, not the last one." -- Jim Rohn

Jim must have had this one set up for me.  This quote deals with something that I've had to try and deal with my whole life and I really only realized that fact probably a few years ago. It's been said many times, by many different people that we are our own worst enemy.  Out of all the awful and negative things that others can say about us - what we say to ourselves can do so much more damage.

I've learned over the  years how true this is.  Recently I've been trying to change that in my life and I feel that it's starting to help.  What I am thinking and saying to myself, does indeed make a difference.  I guess I find myself reflecting on this more and more due to my age.  I just turned 47 and there comes a time where you start looking back on your life and wonder about choices and decisions and how they affected how you got to where you are.  I've done plenty of that for sure.  But like the quote says - it's about the next opportunity, the next chance to do something great.  So making that chang-over from living in the past, regreting things, etc., to LEARNING from the past I think is a huge deal.  

Sticking to things, not quitting (which I've done plenty of in my life), finishing things off is all part of being ready for the next opportunity are the important points to focus on.  What can I learn from your thoughts on this quote?  How does this quote connect with you?
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Quote of the Week - January 21, 2013

1/23/2013

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"If you want to be happy, set a goal that commands your thoughts, liberates your energy and inspires your hopes." - Andrew Carnegie

Finding this quote on a Monday and thinking about having goals for today (a teacher meeting day) along with goals for the week ahead; got me thinking about having these thoughts going for me long term. Instead of just a Monday or a week, I'm thinking (and I know that) I need to have these going for my future.  Thinking about Andrew Carnegie (the steel industry guy) and all the success that he had with people and leadership; I know it's coming from a good source too.

I had a good discussion with a colleague today about focusing in on important things in life.  That there are only so many things that we can control and actually do something about ourselves.  Happiness comes from the fact that we have the ability to command over our thoughts on those things that are important and that are really important to us.  The key is to realize this as soon as we can for then we still have time on our side to do something with this fact.  The longer it takes for us to realize the truth to this statment the further away from true happiness I think we will be.

What are your thoughts on this quote?  What lessons can you teach me and others with your opinions and thoughts?  Please let me know here.
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Quote of the Week - December 17, 2012

12/16/2012

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     “We cannot do everything at once, but we can do something at once." ~ Calvin Coolidge

Love this quote!  Sometimes I think we look at all the many different things we have to do in our lives and we get discouraged at the enormous mountain of stuff.  I know sometimes I get overwhelmed and if I can remember to focus on just one thing to work on, it helps me tremendously.  I know I can work on one thing at a time, but for me the key is to at least get going on that one thing.  I have mentioned to my students this new Winter term that we just started about the W.I.N. principle (What's Important Next) - a great thought that I got from coach Lou Holtz.  Something to focus on next time you feel overwhelmed with a bunch of things to do.

With the recent events in Connecticut at the elementary school, this quote also reminds me that when things happen that affect a great number of people in a tragic way, I think it comes down to the fact that we MUST do something.  That something has to be bringing us all closer together rather than dividing us more than we already are.  I see already the politics getting thrown into this sad and heart-breaking issue.  One thing is to hopefully start looking at the way we treat each other.   It starts with each of us taking the next steps in our lives to not only make ourselves better but also to help others too.  These tragic events always seem to bring us closer together, but it's usually only for a brief amount of time.  The lessons from the sad event, gets lost with current events and things going on in our lives.

What are your thoughts on what's happened?  What are you going to do about it?  How does this affect you? Always interested in learning from others... especially you!
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    Coach John Daly

    In Education for 34 years & recently, I decided to retire from full-time teaching.    Started coaching girls basketball in 1981 & still around the game today.  Looking to share insights, thoughts and ideas to help everyone find their own piece of success.

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