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Helping Yourself - And Others - To Be Successful

7/15/2017

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Helping Yourself (and Others) Be Successful
 
There are so many great sources available that can help us in our lives.  With the Internet – and especially your Smart Phone – there is no real reason not to constantly be on a path towards improvement!

I’ve been making it a point to do more reading.  I’m working on 2 books now and I need to finish one of them (for a couple of reasons) before I start a new one.  Reading 2 books at a time is something that I need to do and I know I can.  I’ve also been finding some great articles that are making a huge difference with me too.  One recent one is titled “7 Ways to Help Yourself (and Others) Be Successful” found at Success Magazine.   Click HERE for the article - a great read!

Here are the 7 points with a few thoughts about each:

  1. Give Back:  If everyone asked “How can I help” instead of “What can I get?” – we would all see a much different world around us.  Has there ever been a time throughout the time of our lives where this concept has been needed more than now?  I love the point in the article that we stand on each other’s shoulders to elevate us to our ultimate accomplishments.  We can’t be successful on our own.
  2. Surround yourself with people smarter than you:  BIG POINT here – Success is largely a factor of the people you make a part of the journey.  Guess what?  It’s our choice who we let into our lives.  There has to come a time where we look to distance ourselves from those that don’t add value to our lives, those that cause us distractions, heartache, problems, etc.   We also need to look for those that are good for us, they do make a difference, they do add value to our lives, they look to help and encourage us.
  3. Find a mentor:  Mentorship is a service and it is one that we need to find for ourselves and look to provide to others too.  It’s a great idea to never stop seeking help from those who are where you want to be.  A great by product of serving and helping others is that it helps you become a mentor yourself.  Don’t ever let a goal become more important than helping others.   Always do more than others expect from you.  Under promise and over deliver, blow them away with what you bring to the table.  Always try to look to get them excited to work with you.
  4. Be an influencer:  The main point about being an influencer is that they look to help others without expecting anything in return.  They always look to have win-win situations with others that they are working with.
  5. Celebrate others’ success:  It really comes down to attitude as to how we can be happy for the success of others – especially those that we care deeply for.  When that happens and we get to embrace the success of others, we get the benefit of greater satisfaction.  We feel fulfilled instead of bitter.  Our excitement, energy, motivation and drive to do better ourselves is multiplied due to us celebrating the success of others.  A very powerful tool that not too many people use.  Here was a HUGE point I found:  “Beyond seizing an available opportunity where possible, our sense of embracing others’ achievements helps to expand our own willpower.”
  6. Spread positivity:  A very interesting observation about our subconscious is really motivated by emotion, not by reason.  A strong point made was that positive emotion trumps negative emotion every time!  Positive things are much easier to transfer to others than negative ones because they create lasting change.  Positive realities, ideas, thoughts, attitudes, etc. = lasting change, movement forward, going after things, growth, etc.   Negative realities, ideas, thoughts, attitudes, etc. = NO change, stagnation, going backwards, getting worse instead of better.   There are plenty of studies out there that that positivity is not only better for the person carrying around those thoughts & ideas, but also for the other people that they encounter.
  7. Find your motivation:  Many times people see successful people and they think, wouldn’t it be great to be like them.  They have no clue.  Successful people see each day as another opportunity to improve, to get better, to move closer to accomplishing their goals.  They will tell you that more you accomplish, the more you will want to keep working hard to make things happen.  Motivation comes in many forms.  We need to find those forms that connect to us and know that we will need it every day, just like taking a shower.
Any thoughts? Questions? Ideas to use these points in your life?  Would love any discussions & comments you want to have.  Let me know.
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March 21st, 2017

3/21/2017

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"Do not be embarrassed by your failures, learn from them and start again." — Richard Branson 
 
One of the many points that I am seeing over and over again recently is this one about how failure is directly tied into success.  It’s a lesson that successful people have been sharing for so many years and it’s also the message that many of us are slow to grasp onto.

It doesn’t matter where you look in life as to who has had success – it can be in athletics, business, medicine, law, education, etc., the message is loud and clear:  Failure is part of success! 
Most of us look at failure as something to stay away from.  Something to avoid at all cost like it is a bad thing that won’t help us out.  Now, don’t get me wrong – we don’t need to go out looking to fail over and over again without learning the valuable lessons that are there within the failure event.  Yes, sometimes the failures will indeed hurt and cause us problems that if given the choice, we would much rather not have to deal with.  But if we can see the value of the lessons within failing, we can use that to propel us to getting things done that will lead to the outcomes that we want to have.

Another key in this – it’s a good idea to know what we want to have in life.  We need the goals and dreams to go after every day.  If we have those things that are burning inside of us, things we want to accomplish and spend our time doing; that is a tremendous factor that is needed to view failures as necessary to accomplish those things. 

I heard a great podcast this morning on my way into work from John Maxwell.  He said there is a distinct difference with those people that are working in a career and making a living, compared to those that are chasing after things tied into their passion and purpose in life.  I agree.  When failures and tough times hit someone who is just making a living, it’s very easy to see why people give up in life.  On the flip side, when people hit failures, challenges, and difficulties in life while chasing their passions, dreams and purposes in life; that’s a whole different ball game!  Many times the failures, challenges and difficulties are fuel for the fire for building a life of significance and not just making a living.
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Which side do you want to be on?  What are the failures, challenges and difficulties in your life?  Are they leading you to lessons that you can learn and get better from? Are they helping you to get inspired to continue to chase after those things that are in your heart and keep you up at night with excitement?  Or are just like the many of people that are ticked off at life, blaming others for your circumstances and you don’t see a light at the end of the tunnel that at least is not an oncoming train?  With hearing this message about failures so often recently, I know I need to ramp up my learning that’s for sure.  How about you?
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Responsibility - A Key Word In Success. One We All Need To Look At Taking

12/20/2016

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 "Accepting responsibility is one of the highest forms of human maturity. A willingness to be accountable, to put yourself on the line, is really the defining characteristic of adulthood." — Jim Rohn

As we all get older – it is something we all have to face at some point and time and it really comes down  to the fact that the sooner we start looking to be responsible, the better off we are.  It’s one of the best skills we can have in life.  In today’s world at times it seems that it is truly lacking and it causes a lot of problems.

You see, when we don’t take responsibility for ourselves that means that we put the responsibilities on others.  Whether that’s other people, the government, our place of work, etc., this will always lead to more troubles.  When we think others are responsible for us and our well-being, we will always be let down.  Nobody else knows what we have inside of ourselves.  Our dreams, hopes, goals, aspirations, etc., are not part of anyone else’s plan. They are only part of our plan.  The sooner we realize that we have to take that plan on instead of someone else doing it, the better off we will be.

We must also remember that there are other people depending on us to take responsibility for ourselves. This is due to the fact that we have influence on others.  That’s what Leadership is all about, having influence over others.  Not being a boss over them, telling them what to do.  True Leadership is leading by example to help others. 

Whether it’s our family, friends, coworkers, players on a team, neighbors, etc., by us doing things we have to do to take responsibility we are setting the example for others to follow.  When others see us sacrificing and putting in hours and hours of work to accomplish things, that’s a powerful message that many people pick up on – even if we don’t see them picking up the examples we leave.   Remember that success always leaves clues.  Leave clues for others to follow.  It’s all part of being a difference maker, which I think is we all can do, no matter what career we find ourselves in.
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Success Is Always Ongoing

10/3/2016

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"Success is the continual unfolding of the design of our life and pulling it off. That’s what success is." - Jim Rohn

This quote struck me as being very accurate and right on target for me and plenty of other people that I know.  We are all on our own journey of life and the decisions and choices we make help to create the path that we are all on.  

Part of that path is obviously the success that we have or don't have throughout our lives.  Since we are the major players in our own life journey, our successes are continuing to unfold or disappear based on our choices.  There is another saying that I use in my classes, especially my Principles of Leadership class in the spring with my seniors and it says - Every choice we make either takes us closer to our dreams and goals or it takes us further away from them.  

As we get older we change.  Heck, we change everyday even if it's just hearing and seeing new things.  Those things get us thinking, feeling, responding, etc., so that each and everyday there are subtle little things that influence our choices and decisions.  I'm reminded about another saying that things that happen to us in life are 10% of the actual thing happening to us and 90% how we respond.  The key item is that we get to choose how we respond to these items.  We get to let them have control over us or not.  This includes the people that come in and out of our lives too.  We have to decide on how much control we give to them about how successful or unsuccessful we will be in our lives.

This is why our road to success is always under construction.  There are so many factors that come into play each and every day of our lives.  The key is to be able to filter through all the distractions and keep moving forward in the direction we want to go in.  Of course it's not easy.  But it is worth it. ​

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March 20th, 2016

3/20/2016

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 "You + Motivation = Success"  - Coach Jim Valvano

Since it is our Spring term at school and that means I get the distinct privileged and honor to teach my Principles of Leadership course to the outgoing seniors, this is one session I always show to my students - some of the messages from the great Jim Valvano.  Coach Valvano coached at Rutgers, Butler, Iona, and North Carolina State University - he was a great coach that had a message all throughout his life.  But that message got amplified when he found out he had cancer.

I show my students two video clips of coach.  One of them from 1987 which was about 4 years after he won the national title at NC State.  The other is from the ESPY Awards in 1993 when he had cancer and would shortly pass away after that awards show.  My students are then asked to write about 3 major points they got from watching the videos.  Many of them go overboard writing about more than the 3 along with adding bits and pieces of their own life stories to their responses.   This is where I am usually blown away and find myself in tears more often than not.

You see, this hammers home a point that I've always had as an educator.  We adults learn a lot from our kids, our students.  It happens to me year in and year out along with happening in basketball too for me.  Teaching this course has helped me change my life for the better.  It has given me strength and hope to continue on the path that I am in education to try and make a bigger difference with people.

Coach Valvano had this saying in his office.  I will now be posting it in my classroom too.  "You + Motivation = Success."  Look at the formula pieces.  You along with adding some Motivation = Success.  Success in what you might ask?  I think it's success in anything you are working hard at in life.  I think it means going in the right direction that will open up other doors that could lead to greater successes.  You know, Zig Ziglar and others have always said that Motivation is like taking a shower.  We need to do it often.  We need to have motivational things in our lives in order to go after things along with having some major-league growing and improvement in our lives.   Me + Motivation = Success, many, little and big successes throughout my life.  I don't think it happens just once!  I think the formula needs to be ongoing, all the time. How do you see this equation fitting in your life?

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Success Is A Lot Like Science Class.  It's A Subject We All Need To Study!

7/28/2015

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"Success is a science; if you have the conditions, you get the result." –Oscar Wilde

I never really liked science in school.  Certain subjects in science were interesting like an ecology class I took back in high school and biology wasn’t too bad as far as I can remember.  As far as chemistry and physics…. Yuk!

To look at success as being a science, I can totally see that and I must say, this kind of science I’m perfectly fine with.  Yes, there are the conditions that we have to create for ourselves and others that we have to deal with for sure. There are the experiments that we must work on, fail and learn from them.  Science is a lot of investigating, researching, reading, experimenting, studying,  learning and then doing – that is what success is all about.  I love this idea as it really comes down to being where success is indeed a science.  

Looking back throughout my life, I have definitely done a lot of these items except the action part.  I’ve done a lot of failing in many areas in life, had success in others and along the way I am coming closer to having success in many areas in my life.  I could have had those success come much sooner if I would have taken this approach and not only learned the lessons that needed to be learned but then to also put them into action throughout my life too.

Many of the conditions we have control over in our journey in life and towards success.  There are of course some conditions we don’t have control over other than we do control how we react to them.  Yes, those probably affect us in a few ways, heck maybe even in a lot of ways.  We do however have the right and the responsibility to choose how we will react to them.  This fact does take practice to do.  It does mean we have to work on our mental toughness and the sooner we do that, the better we will be.  As with many things there are lessons here for this skill to improve in us.  It just doesn’t happen.

There is also the important factor that our success journey does also affect others too.  The harder we work on these lesson in our lives, the better off those that are connected to us will be.  Even people that don’t really know us can actually benefit by us being the example for doing this the right way.   There are those that simply view us, causally know us that we can affect. There is also that group of people that get helped by someone that we helped.  There is a lot riding on this science class that we are all enrolled in. This class never really ends and we do get graded on it by our results in life.  This is one science class that I suggest you get into, stay in it, and always keep learning and applying those lessons that are learned.
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Real Progress Happens Outside Our Comfort Zone - Quote Of The Week

3/9/2015

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"All progress takes place outside the comfort zone." – Michael John Bobak

This has been a reoccurring topic lately.  Getting out of our comfort zone really is the place where things happen.  It’s not a coincidence, it’s not luck, it’s just one of the many laws of success that present themselves to us throughout life.

As I sit here in my quiet kitchen on a sunny Saturday morning having a cup of coffee of course, I can’t help to be drawn to thoughts on how much I’ve avoided getting out of my comfort zone in my past.  Parts of my thoughts are of course how I wished I didn’t do that.  How I should have pushed through my limiting beliefs about doing things that made me feel uncomfortable and where I could be today if I would have done those things.

As I take a sip of my coffee I have quickly adjusted my thoughts as I look outside at the sunshine on all the snow we have, and I notice the snow that has disappeared from on top of our patio table.  A thought pops into my head about how things are improving weather wise and that spring is coming with warmer temperatures and the snow will be gone soon enough.  That also got me thinking about the fact that I cannot sit here and feel bad about past mistakes. That I know better enough to capture the lessons from those past instances and apply them to the new beginnings that are in front of me now.

I had a couple of great conversations with a few students throughout the past week.  A couple of current seniors, along with a couple of alumni that I saw who were on their spring breaks from college.  Our conversations were in part about this very point about getting out of your comfort zone and that’s where great things start happening.  It’s about the outstanding people that come into our lives when we get of our box of comfort and venture forward in new directions.  It’s about the new situations that present themselves if we have our eyes, ears, minds, and hearts open; for that’s the only way we will recognize them.  I even mentioned to one of my current seniors, that I too need to follow my own advice.  I need to get out of my comfort zone and look in new directions for things that will further my passion in life to help and serve others.

It sure does help to have that idea of what indeed is your passion(s) in life.  What gets you fired up?  What wakes you up early with those thoughts and ideas that start coming into your head where you can’t sleep anymore and you have to get up to get going on your day?  One of the other topics I spoke about with a current senior was the fact they didn’t know what they wanted to do after graduation and how scared they were that it’s coming so fast.  That’s the part about that we need to keep moving forward with doing things that we can learn new things, meet new people and have our eyes, ears, hearts and minds open to the new things that will come into our lives.  

This senior did something right.  He said he changed his schedule around a little bit in order to take a couple more challenging classes instead of those that many people suggest to take that won’t challenge him too much.  This was another moment for me where I recognized that this student just became a teacher and taught me a lesson that I needed.  I too need to do some things that not only challenge me but will open new doors of possibilities in my life.  Those new possibilities will not only affect me personally but could also positively affect others in my life that could benefit from me getting out of my comfort zone.

So, as I grab another cup of coffee while my house is still quiet, I will look at today to see what are some other small things I can do to get out of my comfort zone and get going on some things that will pay some huge benefits soon or in the future.  What can you do with today that will help you move beyond your walls of comfort? What also can you share about that part of your journey that will help others too?
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New Year Coming... Thoughts On Success From Coach Wooden - Quote Of The Week

12/29/2014

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"Success is peace of mind which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you did your best to become the best you are capable of becoming." -- John Wooden

With all the things that we can do to improve ourselves, there seems to be a quote that is great to think about as we end one year and start off a new one.  Coach John Wooden had so much success in basketball, but what everyone has to understand is that he had even more success teaching leadership lessons.

Success has so many puzzle pieces to it since it means different things to different people.  Since it deals with doing our best to become all that we are capable of becoming, there has to be time spent on improving ourselves in many different areas.

Coach is right as success is indeed peace of mind.  That is one thing that all of us need to work on is our mind and the things that come into our minds.  Those things can make a distinct difference in what success we have going towards goals and dreams that we have. Reading is one of the best things we can do for ourselves.  New information that gets our minds working on new ideas and thoughts, these things can really help us doing our best.

Doing our best has so much to do with what we are thinking about.  This quote has got me thinking that I need to continue to work hard at doing my best, which in many areas in my life I am not doing and when I look back at those areas, it shows up to me as I don’t have the self-satisfaction knowing that I have not done my best.  I can tell you though, that I’m looking forward to fixing that starting now.  I don’t need to wait for the new year as I’m going to start today and then work hard to continue it into the new year.

Speaking of the new year – if we look at this quote and focus on all the parts that go with it (the exercise, eating right, fixing old habits and starting new ones, reading more, improving our relationships, etc.), all the resolutions should connect with Coach Wooden’s statement.  The other big key, don’t just make them for New Years Day.  These things should be worked on all year long.  How does Coach Wooden’s statement connect with you?
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Quote of the Week - June 9, 2014

6/9/2014

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“Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value.” — Albert Einstein

I believe I've had this quote used before, but it struck me this morning as one that had to be repeated as we finish up another school year and get ready for summer 2014.  Summer always is a time of hopefully slowing down a little bit, relaxing more with family and friends and also a time for reflection.  Hopefully you will find some time to do some reading which is one of the many things I try and do more of during the summer.

Albert Einstein brings up a great point to reflect upon and to try and figure out how we can offering more value to others in our lives rather than just looking to be successful.  The older we get the more important I think it is for us to find our purpose in our lives.  Not only is the idea to find this purpose, but to also find it as soon as we can along with acting upon doing something about it.  It's a message that I try and get my students to start to figure out sooner than later.

I've truly seen more and more of this as I advance through life.  The more value you bring to others, the more connections you make with people which leads to more opportunities towards success.  The success seems to come in so many ways too.  It's not always about money.  The money will come with offering more value wherever you go.  The real key as I've seen many examples of, is with the relationships that we make throughout our lifetime.  Those relationships with others are what leads to more and more opportunities.

So, this summer try and focus on this quote and look for ways to offer more value to others and watch the great things that will happen.  Feel free to share with me so I can share with others, some of your success stories.

Look for my blog to continue over the summer - feel free to keep in touch with my contact page on my homepage.
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Quote of the Week - April 21, 2014

4/21/2014

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"You + Motivation = Success"  - Jim Valvano

Just got done recently listening to Coach Jim Valvano in our Leadership class.  So many nuggets that he tossed out there and this was one that came out and got my attention quickly.  I've been trying to listen to a little bit more motivational, self-improvement, leadership, etc. information every day.  Just like Zig Ziglar has said... we need it just like we need to bathe everyday.

Now the key for me - will be to take the action to add to the motivation which will = success.  It's something we all can do, and it's really something that we all need to do.  That motivation is a lot easier to get in touch with - to get connected to, if we have those special people around us that makes it worth fighting for.  First of all we need to do it for ourselves and that comes from asking ourselves that "why" question.  Why are we doing what we are doing?   If our reasons are big enough, the "how" will take care of itself. 

This is also why we need to chase after our dreams, heck we need to have dreams and goals in the first place.  Then, the motivation will have something to connect to which will lead us towards success.  It's a daily thing to do, each and everyday it's what we have to do.  I think the most interesting and challenging piece of the formula is the YOU part.  Seeing that we can be very complex and we are the one and only things that we have to work on.  For me, it's a full time job working on me. Truthfully I need to put more time and effort into that.  My students and I just heard the great Jim Rohn say - "work harder on yourself than you do on your job."  (a future quote of the week)

How does this simple, yet complex formula work for you?  Any thoughts would be appreciated by me and others as we can always learn from others.  Let me know!
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    Coach John Daly

    In Education for 34 years & recently, I decided to retire from full-time teaching.    Started coaching girls basketball in 1981 & still around the game today.  Looking to share insights, thoughts and ideas to help everyone find their own piece of success.

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