Category: Books - Coach to Expect Success

Forgiveness - with the help from Mitch Albom

11/19/2021

There was a great podcast by Mitch Albom on his "Tuesday People Podcast Show"... you can find it HERE. So many valuable life lessons come out of this story that Mitch wrote about him and his professor, Morrie Schwartz, in his award-winning book "Tuesday's With Morrie." Forgiveness is not only one of our Positivity Project character traits - it's one of the HUGE lessons from Morrie that he shared with Mitch in their conversations.

Morrie said, “Forgive yourself first, then forgive others." It's one of the things we tend to miss out on in life and I agree with that since I've struggled with this exact point. I think one of the main reasons for Forgiveness coming up at the bottom of my survey results for the Character Traits Survey that we did when we first started this Positivity Project - is mainly due to the fact that I have struggled forgiving myself throughout my lifetime. Morrie's right... the earlier we start forgiving ourselves, the easier it will be to not let others get in the way of living our lives, all due to what they say to us (or about us), along with what they might do to us too.

The examples that are shared in this podcast are amazing ones for sure. I think they are things that we all can connect with and learn from. This brings to mind that we can easily see that hopefully we are able to see that really all of humanity falls into this issue of learning how to forgive ourselves and others. We also need to remember that it's not easy & that it takes constant work too.

Besides listening to the podcast show (link above), it would be a great idea to check out all the items at Mitch Albom's website (mitchalbom.com) Check out his books... all personal favorites of mine - especially "Tuesdays With Morrie".

A Little Encouragement Goes A Long Way

11/27/2020

Love these quick hitters from John Maxwell - this one from his book "25 Ways to Win with People" and it comes at a time where we all need this reminder. Little notes (or texts even) of encouragement to others are needed so much today. And those notes last a long time too for people. Try it. Reach out to someone or more than one person & let them know not only that you are thinking about them, but you are also in their corner too. Encouragement goes a long way for sure.

In today's times things like this are needed more than ever. With the pandemic, politics, weather events, the economy, etc., it's crucial that we find it for ourselves. I'm finding I have a lot more of this to give, when I find more of it from reading great books, fabulous articles, listening to incredible podcasts along with watching inspirational videos. There are so many great avenues of picking up encouragement from so many resources. I will continue to share them in my podcasts, Facebook Live Videos, on Twitter, Instagram and on my YouTube Channel too. If you find anything that you find encouraging, make sure you send it my way and share it with others too.

I Don't Know, What I Don't Know

7/4/2020

I think this reading more books is tending to agree with me as I am more fired up now than ever before and reading has been a big part of it. My current read is "Mean People Suck" by Michael Brenner and it's another good one. No big surprise as I heard about this book on John O'Leary's Podcast. This whole simple idea that we don't know everything & there are tons of people that think they do know everything. There are a couple of advantages for those of us that realize that isn't true. One is that if we recognize that we only know what we know and we don't know what we don't know, compared to those people that pretend to know it all - we can use that to a HUGE advantage. Just being honest with ourselves about this opens up the fact that we know and want to keep learning.

Those people (bosses, executives, others) that think they know it all - it's the opposite affect and it comes to be more costly too. It not only shuts off new information that can help solve problems, make more money, create new opportunities, etc.; but it is also does bigtime damage to relationships too. Look at those people that are in your life that just always seem to dismiss people because they "think" they know everything. I think we all know people like this and it is amazing how, for the most part we look to not really do too much for them or with them. There always seems to be that tension around them and that always will make things more difficult to get things done.

So again - this book (and the others I'm reading .... see my booklist on my home page), really has reminded me of things that I can do to help myself out. I hope these things help you too. Remember, you gain a very large advantage remembering that you you don't know everything. Remain humble in what you know and always look to keep that life-long learner type of attitude. Since there are so many others doing they opposite, they will actually help you more than will ever know.

Commit & Figure It Out

8/26/2018

Amazing the thoughts and ideas that come to you when you choosing to put good stuff into your head. That's a key in life I've been finding lately. I get to choose what goes into my mind, thereby choosing the items I know that will have an influence on me. John O'Leary's podcasts help me in so many ways. I first connected to his book "On Fire" and now I'm hooked on his podcasts. His latest one got me fired up about a few things - find it HERE and listen to it - It got me going and I hope it at least gets you thinking too. There are so many things I need to commit to - It's about time I do those things. How about you?

One thing that I have really seen a difference in my life is the simple fact that I'm reading more. It is amazing to hear that so many people mention that throughout their lives on the importance of reading. I am finding how much of a key it is. Try it. You might like it. It's helping me to stay focused (which I need a lot of help with) and with that I'm able to commit and focus more on the things that I need to do. Thanks for listening and checking out my podcast too - find this episode HERE. Please take a few moments to subscribe & share this with someone, also leave a 5 Star rating on ITunes or other services where you find this show. Find me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/coachtoexpectsuccess/ on Twitter: @coachtosuccess and on Instagram at: @coachjohndaly

7 Tips for Developing Your Personal Philosophy

4/9/2018

What a FANTASTIC article I found in Success magazine - Click HERE for the article link.

The 7 Tips I found in this article ... heck.. they were even numbered for me so that there was no reason for me missing them... were things that I needed to see on a Monday morning coming back to school after our Spring Break.

First of #1 - Set Your Sail - The author mentions that "the winds of circumstances blow upon all of us" - and it all depends on our thinking, our personal mindset , how we respond to those changing winds -- all of those are how we can succeed where so many struggle. I know for a fact that I need to work on this BIG TIME!!

#2 - Learn from success and failure -- Remember, our personal experience is our best teacher... just as our past is our best mentor. We can also learn from others too - remember that success leaves clues. :-) I always need to remind myself that I need to have a clue in order to pick up the many clues that Success (and failures) leave all around us. ;-)

#3 - Read All You Can -- Books have always been, in my opinion, a cornerstone of success. There are far too many examples to not on how successful people have had reading being a part of that success. It's part of the clues that success leaves - other people sharing information that helped them in some way, shape or form by giving instruction, advice, inspiration, motivation, lessons, etc. I know I need to read more - how about you?

#4 - Keep a journal -- Now I did this ... the key word is DID... and I did not keep up with that. I had a gratitude journal going for a little bit - 9 months to a year maybe?? I know for a fact that I need to get going on that again and soon!!

#5 - Observe and Listen -- WOW... a reminder that I need for sure, since I know how important it is to do these but yet I struggle doing them. I love how this article brought up the points about who have surrounding ourselves and to not "... waste your time on the silly and the shallow." We do get a choice as to who we let influence us. ;-)

#6 - Be Disciplined -- Yep.... another eye-opening reminder for myself here. This is HUGE!! The old saying goes - "Discipline weighs ounces, regrets weighs tons." Putting some discipline in my life - especially when I was younger - could have paid off so much if I had done it. :-) But you know what, I can do it now!! :-)

#7 - Don't Neglect -- All the little things are so important because they lead to bigger things - ALL THROUGHOUT LIFE. Our health, our finances, our relationships, etc. The other 6 points are all part of not neglecting those things in our lives. I know I have to work on all of them for sure and the more I work on them, the better I know I will be.

School Is Back IN Session & Not Just For Kids

9/4/2017

This summer was good one for picking up some new lessons that I found in a few places.
First of all, I got connected with some awesome people that have taught me some very valuable lessons. One of the best things about this is that I’m still in touch with them and I’m still learning new lessons, which I need to do bigtime! The confidence factor that they have helped me with was something that I think meant the most. Their encouragement in my goals and dreams was something that I needed for sure. I got my podcasts going and I am looking forward to working on other projects coming up soon too.

Part of that was the fact that I found all of them have battles that they are fighting. Things going on in their lives and trying to do good things and go after their dreams and goals. Those things they were going through were some of the very reasons why they wanted to do what they were doing! I’ve seen it around other places too and I know darn well the validity of this – all of us are battling some sort of issue that gets in the way of things we want to do in life. The same can be said that it’s more than one issue too. The amazing part is – the help that we are giving each other by sharing our stories, learning from each other, encouraging each other, along with helping to instill hope in each other – all of that is a very powerful formula for success.

Another lesson this summer came from someone from my past. A friend of mine that I grew up with and knew from middle school on. We were not great friends, but good ones. She was actually my senior prom date in 1984 and her name was Erin. She passed away back in February of this year from a battle with cancer. Sad to say, I didn’t find out about it until last month. I am amazed and upset with myself for not knowing, especially in this age of social media where I can do a much better job on connecting with people that I cared about throughout my life. Sad to say, I did not do that with Erin.

You see, I’ve been on a type of quest to tell people from my past how much they have meant to me along with thanking them for the investment they made into me – even if it was brief, it’s something that I can now see was very important for me and my life’s journey. I’ve told some people that exact thing, but others I have not. Erin was one that I had meant to tell her, but time ran out on her and me to do that. What a painful but valuable lesson as I now know I need to reach out to other in my life and let them know. The key is, like many other things in life, is not to put it off.

Another one of the valuable lessons I learned this summer was that of one I already knew about, but sort of forgot about the value of it. The lesson? How valuable reading books can be. I got a couple of them done this summer and it has inspired me to try and read a book a month in the upcoming year. I have a new #1 most favorite book on my list – and that is “On Fire” by John O’Leary. It is one that I recommend you read. It is an amazing & life changing story that has greatly affected the way I am viewing things in my life. Always open to discussion and feedback.. let me know.

So Many Lessons From All Around Us

8/1/2017

There have been so many instances lately where I have been picking up lessons left and right about life, success, leadership, etc. You see, that’s the one thing you always need to remember – Success always leaves clues!!

For someone like me who has been clueless many times in life, this is for me! Now, I’ve known about this rule of success for years. It just seems that it every so often I need to be reminded about it and this time is good as any, especially since I am looking to change some things up in my life lately that I know I have to do.

Lately some of the best lessons have been coming from our new dog Kirby. He’s not that new as we got him in June of 2016. He has brought so much love and happiness into our home that could not have been found without him. Now we do have happiness and love in our family – but Kirby has brought that out so much since he’s been in our lives. His undying love for the four of us has been amazing. His energy has been crazy at times – but it has shown me about having energy or a better outlook for life, just like he does! We are his whole world and he loves us no matter what. I need to have that for people too, especially my family!!

If I’m talking about lessons, I must mention books. I got back to reading some books this past year and I got to tell you, I can’t believe I stopped reading them from years ago. They have helped me grow tremendously so much so that I need to keep reading now since I’ve seen the growth that comes with it. Reading has opened up doors for me to new opportunities, new idea, new things that I get to go after in my life. Crazy to see how much reading a book can help in my life and it can do the same for you. I will be updating my book list for sure on my website.

Being a teacher, I have to tell you that I am amazed as to how much of a student I am becoming again. With 28 years of teaching under my belt, all I can see is that it’s about time I recognize that fact. Don’t get me wrong, this is a lesson that I’ve had many times before, it’s just this time I think it means a little more to me.

Another lesson came to me today. I was visiting my parents after I took my wife to the airport where she was traveling to visit a good & longtime friend for a few days. After a great visit and some lunch, I went with them to visit one of their best friends who is in an assisted living center as she is fighting Alzheimer’s Disease. She was around when I was born, in fact my parents knew her and her husband (who recently passed away) before my parents were married more than 52 years ago. It was an amazing visit. To see both my mom and her friend light up when they saw each other, was truly amazing. Her friend still has that amazing positive attitude and that wonderful laugh. To see her after all these years since I last saw her, was a true blessing. To bear witness to my parent’s friendship with her – especially my mom – the lessons I learned today, and they were many, were pure gold.

So, please look around you all the time for those lessons are being thrown around like the sunshine and winds during the day. They are always there. We simply need to pick them up and use them in our lives. I think we both can agree – we sure do need them. Got any lessons to share? Please do, like I said, we all need them.

We All Have To Have Confidence and Hope In Our Lives

6/14/2015

"Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence." - Helen Keller

As I sit here with my (you guessed it) first cup of coffee, I’m listening to the rain and I’m thinking about many things. Most of the things I’m thinking about (my wife and family, my basketball coaches and players that I’m blessed to be working with, what I’m calling “the summer of change”, the books I want to read, and how thankful I am for this cup of coffee among many other things), I get a very contagious feeling of hope and peacefulness.

I’ve always tried to have an optimistic attitude or outlook in my life. There are many times where this is difficult and challenging, but I always strive to get back to having this type of outlook. I do know for sure that Helen Keller was correct in that things cannot be accomplished without hope and confidence. At least anything that matters.

Having an optimistic attitude or outlook in life is a lot easier for us when we are doing things that are connected to our heart and have passion for. It also connects with the people that we have in our lives as we need others to help encourage us, love us where we are at, support us, listen to us along with us doing the same for them. This helps instill faith in ourselves that we can achieve things we want to do.   If we don’t have all these pieces to the puzzle, things get a little bit more difficult and that at times will lead to not having hope or confidence in ourselves and in our situations that we live in.

This comes back to the start, the foundation that we have to have to work on setting the table so to speak, for ourselves to have this optimism in our lives. We have to reach down inside of ourselves and find out what are the things that light us on fire! What are the things that we get fired up and make us want to go after certain things in life? We need to be conscious of the thoughts, information and ideas coming into our minds along with finding and keeping those people in our lives that help us and that we are able to help too.

Start today by looking at this quote and figure out what feeds into this optimism in our lives. Then look at what are the things in your heart that you know you want to accomplish and go after. Is what you do, day in and day out, helping you have more hope and confidence in your life? Or are those things pointing to not having hope and no confidence in your life? Figure out just one change today that you can make to start feeling better about things. Then keep working on that one thing as you identify one other thing, then another, and another and so on. Just keep working on one thing and keep it going as those will lead to other things to work on and improve and then just watch the changes that start to happen.

What’s one thing for you to start on right now? One thing for me – to start reading more books, more articles, etc. Another quick one for me is to put more action into my days of doing the things that I have to do to make things happen. Anything that can help make me better, I have to do. Share yours as I bet it might help someone else out too.

Don't Limit Yourself, A Few Tips - Quote Of The Week

8/25/2014

"Don't limit yourself. Many people limit themselves to what they think they can do. You can go as far as your mind lets you. What you believe, remember, you can achieve." -- Mary Kay Ash

It is totally true that the most valuable 6 inches of space is right between your ears. When people learn to control their minds, control what goes in and out of their brain, that is when great things can happen. I’m still constantly working on this fact. I hope you are always working on it too.

It’s also true that our biggest critic that we will usually ever have to deal with is ourselves. As I tell my students each and every year at the start of every class I teach, we are with ourselves 24/7. We can’t get away from ourselves since every night before we go to bed, during our time of sleep and first thing in the morning, there we are again. We might be able to fool others, but when you think about it, we certainly cannot fool ourselves. We know when we do something wrong - others might not know about it, but we do. Our limiting thoughts and beliefs that we put on ourselves are far worse than what others can put on us. Now, what others say and do sometimes does add to our own negative thinking about ourselves, that’s why it is vitally important to guard the relationships around us.

So one of our most important things we must always look to do, and for me it’s something I constantly have to remind myself to do; is to always work on our thinking. We need to control as much as we can as to what goes into our minds. There are way too many people and things out there that would be glad to control us for their agenda. If we don’t control our own minds and our own lives, we will have them controlled by someone or something else for sure. Then we wonder why life get’s so hard and difficult to do things we think we want to do.

Look at what you reading or are you even reading at all? There are so many factual connections out there in the world that show massive positive results for being a reader. Leaders are readers is the old saying. Successful people in all walks of life are many times very avid readers. Try it and see the changes that will start to appear. I know I need to monitor more of my time spent watching TV instead of working on the thoughts and ideas that I have. I also need to be listening to more positive motivational content through audio books, podcasts, etc.

So what are some thing you do to help you think more positively about your life and yourself? Any success stories out there about some examples of things changing for you or others that you have witnessed when taking this process on? Always feel free to let me know your thoughts and ideas as I certainly don’t have all the answers and I’m always looking to learn new things that can help me to help myself and others.

Quote of the Week - May 5, 2014

5/5/2014

"Remember no one can make you feel inferior without your consent." - Eleanor Roosevelt

This one has come into play with a few guest speakers & presentations lately. It's one of those things especially to pay attention to about others. As we get older, the critics seem to come out of everywhere to knock us out of going after our dreams and goals. But maybe there is another view to take at this quote.

The other side to this is that we also have to not give ourselves permission in making ourselves feel bad. We are our own worse enemy so many times throughout our lives. That self-talk comes to mind. It's something that we need to constantly be aware of and actively working hard to deal with. If we consciously look at what is going into our heads along with catch ourselves when we start going negative on ourselves; just watch the changes that can happen in our lives. Another cool thing will happen - others will notice too. Some will embrace and cheer you on. Others will wonder what happened to you. They will say that you have changed and where is the "old" you hiding at?? When that happens.. you know you are doing a great thing. When others notice and wonder why you are different than you used to be.... that is a very good thing.

So who can you work on to not let them get inside your head? It's all about having some confidence, faith and enthusiasm for having a very positive life. This also included watching how you think too. Keep it positive. Find good things to focus on and find good things to put into your mind. Books, Audios, Podcasts, etc. Let me know what tips you have for doing this - I can use some new ideas.