Category: John O'Leary - Coach to Expect Success

What We Focus On Grows

7/21/2022

Amazing thought here that I got from John O'Leary and Matt Miller from a coaching session a couple of days ago - What You Focus On, Grows! I'm finally figuring out this important fact and I'm hopefully sharing it with some ideas and connections that you need to hear & think about too. Check out my podcast about this HERE.

I've known about this for many years - why I have not put more "stock" into this?? I guess I'm realizing how much of a slow learner I am. But, I am realizing how important it is to focus in on things that I want to choose instead of letting things happen to me where I don't have control. Sam Crowley says it all the time - "Where focus goes, energy flows!" I'm catching myself more often when I start going down a negative rabbit hole & I'm working on stopping myself from going further along with figuring why I'm going there and what the lessons are that I need to learn from that "detour." There is never to late of a time to pick up "new" skills like this. I'm also figuring out how important it is to have little victories in my life - every day that I can do little things, the right way, is one way to build a better life.

Little Acts of Kindness Matter

6/13/2022

Listening to my buddy John O'Leary this morning on my way in to school on his podcast and it sure got me thinking about a few things. He shares this wonderful story about a guy that he recently met and this man shared a remarkable story of kindness that made such a difference with him. The little things that we all can do, sure do mean a lot to others & it could be those little things that go on to create so much good will, love, kindness, encouragement, calmness, positive energy, etc., that goes onto affect so many others. I will admit, I got a bit emotional listening to this short podcast (right around 5 minutes in length).

It helped to change my mood as I started my day off and it's still sitting with me as I know I need to listen to it for a third and maybe even a fourth time. The little acts of kindness that we can show to others along with to ourselves too, can make such a difference in life. I was just reminded of this from a great picture I saw:

If we are able to set more examples... again, of little things that can make such a difference... it will be so much more valuable than flapping our gums with our opinions ... or better yet, with our keyboards posting our opinions to social media; we all can change the world little bits along the way with more small actions of kindness, empathy, encouragement, etc.

Check it out for yourself - this powerful & emotional podcast from my friend and now yours, John O'Leary (click the picture below)

Bravery Is All Around Us

12/3/2021

I found something from John O'Leary again (so many lessons from this guy) and this one is all about Bravery. This interview that John had with Gunnery Sergeant Nick Popaditch and his discussion on Courage, Combat and Recovery. Listen to it HERE. I found myself being totally amazed at this discussion on so many lessons. First and foremost, Nick's sense of humor that he had with life!! Amazing lessons for all of us for if he can have that type of outlook / attitude after having gone through all of these things he described.. that simply tells me that I can do the same with my life too. The things that I have gone through are nothing compared to what he's been through & if he could have his current attitude and outlook on things - so can I.

These 2 quotes really stood out to me as it was something that was said to him that totally changed his life -

“If you don’t quit on us, we will never quit on you.” This is a powerful statement from his recruiter. I look at that statement and think how awesome it is to have a group of people connected together and something like this binds them. Something that will never break. Truthfully - I think of this connecting to a family or even a sports team. It will probably be something that I share with some players, coaches and teams as I see this being so strong to have this mentality going into their season & in life too!
"As a drill sergeant, Nick learned that everything was trained in the antithesis. Courage was trained by fear, honor by unfair treatment and commitment by failing." I look at this piece as something to learn some valuable lessons from. Those things that are fearful for me - I can learn courage from those things. I can learn to face them, get through them and to quit having them stop me from living the life I want to live. We all experience unfairness in life, I can learn to still be honorable to others & myself, so that I don't get soured by the unfair treatments. I look to for sure, not treat others in the same unfair matter. Also, to stand up for those that get treated that way too. The world needs more of this for sure.

A Little Bit About "Curiosity" with John O'Leary

9/27/2021

One of the many things I need to work on is doing what I say I'm going to do. Once again, I am challenging myself to complete a blog post each week - not just any blog post, but the same blog post assignment that I have for my students. We have them connected to our Positivity Project (P2). There are different character traits (24 in all) that we focus on during the school year. These character traits - not surprisingly - are NOT just for K - 12 students. Those of us who have gotten through our own K-12 experience and became adults, need these things (I think) more than our students do!

The episode I listened to from John O'Leary was this episode Prioritize Things That Matter with Christy Wright (ep. 394) - find it HERE. So many lessons that I got out of this show (as I do with all of his shows). Being curious is something that does not come natural to me like it does to my wife. I have been forcing myself to be more "curious" by finding things to listen to, watch, read, etc., to keep working on getting better.

I traditionally have not been one to ask a lot of questions, but I'm finding when I do - things go so much better for me in so many different ways. This quote caught my ear -

“Some of the most incredible career opportunities are not positions that are posted but problems that are solved.” – Sheryl Sandburg

This got me thinking about the fact that I need to be more curious to thinking about solving the problem that pops up, rather than getting worked up about it. It happened to me one time yesterday afternoon and one time this morning already, where I had just the slightest mind-shift to looking at something to solve or do something good with compared to complaining about it. AMAZING results from that.

Secondly, this struck me right in the face...

What if “balance” isn’t so much what you do but something you create + become in your life? Life balance is not doing everything for an equal amount of time. It’s about doing the right things at the right times.

I simply need to be curious enough to look at a bit more closely as to how to make this work for me. Figuring out about doing more of the right things, at the right time - and not rushing through them to simply get them done. I think the more I open up to see what those items are, the more growth I'll have along with getting closer to goals and dreams that I have in my life.

Finally, these points that I lumped together really made an impact on me:

Start doing what matters, stop doing what doesn’t matter in today’s season.
“If we are not careful we will spend our entire lives checking boxes and never stopping to ask ourselves if those boxes represent anything actually worth doing.”
Create an ideal schedule. Take your current calendar and a blank calendar:
- Move over the things you have to do.
- Move over the things you want to do.
- Add whatever is missing.
“We judge others by everything they do and we judge ourselves by everything we don’t do.”

Instead of saying I don't have time for something / anything, I need to start asking myself the question -"is this a priority for me"? I love the mindset shift about this and asking myself is this something that matters to me in my life or is it something that I'm doing for other reasons that don't really matter to me, my family, my goals and dreams, my priorities, etc. This is a whole new thought process for me about being more curious and asking questions, looking deeper for some details, etc., that might help me figure things out more.

Christy Wright's book might be something for me to put onto my reading list.

Love Mixed With Encouragement + Belief

4/2/2021

Sharing a podcast from John O'Leary never gets old. I'm really enjoying the fact that there are more of my students that are getting connected to him and they are finding the tremendous value that he brings wherever he goes. In episode 297, John has one his mentors and good friends, Rusty Keeley on as his guest. Rusty brings up so many great lessons to share but the key is what he has done for John O'Leary personally over the years.

Read this quote from John about his good friend Rusty - "He was encouragement when I needed a lift. Sage advice when I needed wisdom. A connector when I needed a new opportunity, a pat on the back when I needed approval and frequently a kick in the pants when I needed to take action, be brave and grow. In other words, over the past 15 years, Rusty has been my friend."

This is something that we not only need to have in life, but we also need to offer these things to others too. In today's world of 2021, it seems there are so many things happening around us, to us, to others, etc., that we really need great relationships in our lives more than ever before. I think the qualities that are found in this podcast are things that we all can to be. Authentic relationships are so valuable mainly since they seem to be not around too much any more. Especially due to the pandemic that the whole world has been under, relationships - good and genuine ones - have gone up in value more than ever before. Knowing what I know about the fact that is what life is all about - relationships - I want to make more of an effort every day in my life to invest in the ones that I have in my life. How about you? Once you check this podcast out from John O'Leary - reach out here with some comments or reach out to my through my social media connections. John O'Leary brings us great stuff that the world needs more of.

I Don't Know, What I Don't Know

7/4/2020

I think this reading more books is tending to agree with me as I am more fired up now than ever before and reading has been a big part of it. My current read is "Mean People Suck" by Michael Brenner and it's another good one. No big surprise as I heard about this book on John O'Leary's Podcast. This whole simple idea that we don't know everything & there are tons of people that think they do know everything. There are a couple of advantages for those of us that realize that isn't true. One is that if we recognize that we only know what we know and we don't know what we don't know, compared to those people that pretend to know it all - we can use that to a HUGE advantage. Just being honest with ourselves about this opens up the fact that we know and want to keep learning.

Those people (bosses, executives, others) that think they know it all - it's the opposite affect and it comes to be more costly too. It not only shuts off new information that can help solve problems, make more money, create new opportunities, etc.; but it is also does bigtime damage to relationships too. Look at those people that are in your life that just always seem to dismiss people because they "think" they know everything. I think we all know people like this and it is amazing how, for the most part we look to not really do too much for them or with them. There always seems to be that tension around them and that always will make things more difficult to get things done.

So again - this book (and the others I'm reading .... see my booklist on my home page), really has reminded me of things that I can do to help myself out. I hope these things help you too. Remember, you gain a very large advantage remembering that you you don't know everything. Remain humble in what you know and always look to keep that life-long learner type of attitude. Since there are so many others doing they opposite, they will actually help you more than will ever know.

Clarity In Our Future

6/23/2020

There are so many things going on where many people are worried about their future. I get it. The economy. Fears about our health with the Covid19 Pandemic around us. All of the civil unrest. Everything that seems to have a political connection to it. The simple fact of human interaction is still not happening like it normally does.

There have been plenty of things that have cleared up too. Things in life that have been shown to be important and things that have not shown that we need to get rid of too. There are plenty of people I think that have learned some important lessons throughout the year 2020 so far. For others, maybe the lessons have not been found yet. Maybe some people are still focusing on the things that are causing most of their troubles.

I found something to tie into this thought in John O'Leary's book "In Awe", where John talks about Fr. Tom Hoar being on his podcast and he brought up a very important question that we need to ask ourselves - Have you had enough? With Fr. Hoar, it's all tied into addiction. He mentions about changing happening when we have had enough of the the life that we have been living and we are deeply looking for something better. He also mentions about being addicted to the unimportant. This is something that caught my eye. Not only do I think we all have addictions to some things in our lives - things that are unimportant are eating up a lot of everyone's time at one point or another in life. I know it's happening to me.

Of the many things happening in this year of 2020, I have found an extreme understanding of many things I don't want to focus on any more. The hate that has sprung up in our lives, heck, it's always been there - but we are seeing it more and more now. Politics! If there is one thing that I have developed a strong distaste for in recent years, it's this. I still vote, but I will not let these political leaders affect my life where I blindly close my eyes, heart and mind to people who have a different opinion than I do. It's a fine line of controlling the information, the opinions of others, the messages that I let affect me and my life and still being able to function in society. The lack of character in our world is something that I do not want to join in with just to fit in.

I need to continue this journey of being better than the guy I was the day before. The important lessons that continue to be thrown at me, I need to not only continue to learn from them but I also need to make the changes in my life that I got from those lessons. In a small way... YES is my answer to that question - Have you had enough? Yes, I've had enough of holding myself back from going after my goals and dreams. Yes, I've had enough of my negative thinking towards others and myself. Yes, I've had enough of mortgaging my future for being comfortable today & not putting in the hard work so that my tomorrows will be better. This pandemic has taught me a lot about wanting clarity for my future. I for one, need to ramp up my efforts for making the changes I know I need to make. What about you?

No Reserves. No Retreat. No Regrets

6/21/2020

Here is another lesson that I recently got from John O'Leary's book, "In Awe" and he brought up this thought of No Reserves. No retreat. No regrets. He mentions this mindset from a story of William Borden (click on his name for his amazing story.)

No Reserves

This was a reminder to Borden to make sure he was taking everything he had, all of his gifts, all of his thoughts & insights of things, all of his kindness & compassion; and to put it all out there for being a difference maker to others. To really be a light for someone else's darkness. I take this as Sam Crowley always says, to use up all the toothpaste in our tube of what our lives are. Not to be on our deathbed with things still left undone, unsaid to others and things not tried. It's something that has been on my mind more and more in my own life. (that's why this post hit close to home for me.)

No Retreat

Borden wrote of this as to not go back home to an easier life, one with money, priviledge, etc. He found strength in that to help keep him focused on what his mission in life was. This reminds me to not retreat back to an easy life. Remember, looking to make things easy now, in our early life - it will make things much more difficult later in life. We need to reverse this. Work hard now in our lives, things will be difficult and challenging, but later in life, it will get better. Everything I now do are grounded in the fact that I'm proud of being a teacher and a coach and I know that I have made a difference with so many people and look to continue to do so. No retreat from being an educator.

No Regrets

This one ties it all in. John O'Leary wrote "don't get to the end of your journey and realize the life you lived was not yours. Don't forget that you are free to choose. Right now." We all have THE CHOICE for how we live our lives. If we don't like where we are going or where we are at, we can change things in our own life. We can think differently, we can make different choices, we can choose to get better. This also brings in the fact of (at least to me) how we can't continue to blame others or blame the circumstances that happen to us.

Unfortunately in today's times, I see this happening way too much and to tell you that I don't want to be a part of that way of thinking. I think the blame game that so many people are playing is a direct recipe to have plenty of regrets in life, to retreat from things that will help us in the long run, and to have tons of reserves in our tank when we die. Not taking responsibility for our own lives will lead to the opposite of all three of these. Bottom line, I'm looking to take control of my life in these 3 areas. For example (as so many people are getting worked up about this) I'm not going to let any elected official be the difference maker in my life. Doesn't matter who is in any elected position in any form of our government as to how I choose to live my life and that I need to make sure that I follow this formula: No reserves. No retreat. No regret. How about you?

Optimism Is Key - At least in my opinion

2/7/2020

This was a powerful post that my students worked on - a few weeks ago - I'm getting off of the procrastination train, and finally getting these going, like I told them I would! There were 2 key parts that I used for this one - both from John O'Leary.

First was a blog post that he put out there about "How Heros Speak". In this post he mentioned about a pro hockey player that invested time in with him when he was a little boy, recovering from his burns that were part of John's story early on in his life. It's all about the people that speak words into our hearts, souls, minds, etc., throughout our lifetime. These heros don't necessarily wear capes either, but the do interject such powerful belief into us that it ends up making a HUGE difference in our lives. He brought up the other fact about the truth is that we are supposed to be the same hero for others. There are other people out there, ones we don't even know perhaps, but we are the difference-makers that they need in their lives.

I have believed this ever since I was probably in college as that's when I found out how important it was to have people believing in me for my life. Dr. Wells Cook was the biggest influencer in my life, next to my parents and my wife - that truly made a huge difference with me. His encouraging words pointed me into being an educator. What a ride it has been from first meeting him back in the fall of 1985. That also happens to be the time I met my wife as well, at the same university - Central Michigan University! From then until now - these two people (again, other than my parents) have changed my life in so many incredible ways! Not sure where I'd be without them.

I love this part of his post & I now it is speaking to you as well: "Your great opportunity, my friend, is to realize the truth that you are intended to be a hero for others. My encouragement before you grab your cape or hockey stick and race out the door is to realize this: your ability to positively impact others hinges on your own thoughts and your own words.
Rudyard Kipling wrote, “Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind.” As with any drug, our words can be either life-giving or life-depleting. Choose today to use your words to encourage others to take back their life, ignite their possibility and change their world.
And in wondering where to begin sharing heroic optimism with others, consider starting with the reflection in the mirror."

The second part of this assignment came from his video clip. In it he asks us to follow our own minds and to catch ourselves when we start going down a negative road as far as our thoughts and comments go. Try to write them down & find some replacements for them, with more positive and encouraging thoughts & words. I mentioned this to my students and have always told my basketball players this too. Nobody else can do as much damage & hurt us, more than we can do it to ourselves. I've been working on catching myself quicker when I start going down that negative rabbit hole to problems & negativity. I need to find ways to eliminate problems, not head into more.

Let me know your thoughts on these 2 items. I think they are simply pure gold. Heck, anything from John O'Leary usually is. Check him out HERE at his website. He's got his 2nd book coming out in May 2020. Check out his first book before you read his new one. You'll love it!

John O'Leary Podcast with Dr. Kelli Harding - Life Changing Stuff!

9/20/2019

John O'Leary is quickly becoming my favorite podcast to listen to as it is always emotionally connecting and rejuvenating that I'm finding that I can't miss it. His book "On Fire" is my favorite book, and I also need to get back into reading that book again soon. I need to get connected with this guy even more with all that he has to offer. Great stuff!

When this podcast came out recently, where he interviewed Dr. Kelli Harding, I knew I had to not only share this with my students as a blog assignment, but also to share it with others - which I have. ;-) One of the first lessons that got to me was simply the fact that our technological social world is actually changing our lives - heck, it's been proving to change our biology as Dr. Harding states. It's kind of scary. As I write this, I see a few of my students (the ones doing it a lot) on their phones.. the look withdrawn, low energy, they have work that needs to be done, they have questions they could be asking me; real life taking a back seat to a 7-inch screen. :-(

Another of the many things that struck me as being HUGE LESSONS - was the fact that our relationships can make such a big difference. I have seen that thousands and thousands of times in my life, even this week and truthfully - I've seen it (and experienced it) today! Not quite sure what I would do if it wasn't for the people that I have in my life.

Finally, my third catch from this fantastic podcast - by the way, you can find it HERE - is this awesome quote she shared with the listeners in this podcast, “True health is hidden in the million tiny moments of everyday life.” This statement is so valid, it's just dripping with authenticity and truth! These happen every day and we miss so many of them, I know I do for sure, because we are all caught up in the wrong things that we are trying to keep up with. This is another of many reminders to stop and figure this point out!

Powerful stuff.. this keeping up with my students is fun, challenging, but mostly, it's a very good thing. :-)