Category: Empathy

I Don't Know, What I Don't Know

7/4/2020

I think this reading more books is tending to agree with me as I am more fired up now than ever before and reading has been a big part of it. My current read is "Mean People Suck" by Michael Brenner and it's another good one. No big surprise as I heard about this book on John O'Leary's Podcast. This whole simple idea that we don't know everything & there are tons of people that think they do know everything. There are a couple of advantages for those of us that realize that isn't true. One is that if we recognize that we only know what we know and we don't know what we don't know, compared to those people that pretend to know it all - we can use that to a HUGE advantage. Just being honest with ourselves about this opens up the fact that we know and want to keep learning.

Those people (bosses, executives, others) that think they know it all - it's the opposite affect and it comes to be more costly too. It not only shuts off new information that can help solve problems, make more money, create new opportunities, etc.; but it is also does bigtime damage to relationships too. Look at those people that are in your life that just always seem to dismiss people because they "think" they know everything. I think we all know people like this and it is amazing how, for the most part we look to not really do too much for them or with them. There always seems to be that tension around them and that always will make things more difficult to get things done.

So again - this book (and the others I'm reading .... see my booklist on my home page), really has reminded me of things that I can do to help myself out. I hope these things help you too. Remember, you gain a very large advantage remembering that you you don't know everything. Remain humble in what you know and always look to keep that life-long learner type of attitude. Since there are so many others doing they opposite, they will actually help you more than will ever know.

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The Sting

8/14/2019

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The power of reading great books can be life-changing for sure. "Lead With No Apologies" by Jesse A. Cole, Jr. is one of those books. Find the book HERE. One of the main points I wanted to share today was about having an important conversations with your future self. Sounds a little bit strange, I know. But, it's a really powerful concept to try and wrap your head around too.

Think about what your future self would tell you about things that you did well to get you where you will be in the future. Not this can be for a year, five years, whatever time period you want it to be. But also be ready for the tough feedback you might hear from your future self too. Now i'ts not meant to be embarassing or maybe it is. You see, it will only be for you. Nobody else has to know about it. It's not going to be out there all over social media - only if you put it out there will it be.

Hopefully the things that your future self brings up to you, are things that you already know. It's a way to put some skin into the game about fixing things that you know you should fix. I know as I have this important conversation with my future self, many of them in fact - I know it's leading me in a fantastic direction for my life. I hope it can for you too. Remember, your past is your best mentor. Never forget where you came from too. It's connected to your future more than you think. So when you have that important conversation with your future self, remember you both will know and understand those things from your past. You have either learned lessons from those things or maybe you have not learned the lessons yet. Either way, you have the opportunity to start learning from them. That will make for a brighter future too.

Check out more from Jesse Cole at: https://www.kingdommogulcoaching.com/

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Do You Have Adaptability?

11/6/2018

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Being more adaptable is something that I think comes with age for some people, and for others it means we become less adaptable. I found another great article and it brought up this point about being adaptable, one that seems we don't talk about nearly enough. Find the artcle HERE.

One of the main points that the article hit me with right off the bat is the important fact about how crucial relationships are in life. With people of course comes the opportunity to show how flexible we are, how we are adaptable or not. Our flexibilty is described as our willingess to adapt and that it really comes down to our attitude. Staying with the idea about people, we know how difficult it can be to be adaptable. We also have to remember that since this is one of the most important skills (of many) that we can have in our lives, that automatically means that it won't be easy. Remember - things that are worthwhile, things that mean anything, usually will not come easy. There will be work involved. There will be setback. There is a need for effort to be put into these things.

Some of the pieces of being adaptable is confidence, tolerance, empathy, being positive and having a respect for others. Funny thing is, as I'm typing these words out I'm thinking about how I do these sometimes in my life, and other times I need some major help with them. Another point that comes to mind is that having the willingness to grow in these areas is also something that is needed in order to become more flexible. The world needs more of this, not less. Look at the list of those pieces - do you realize how much more power they represent if you implement them into your life? I know that I need to live more of those in my life everyday.

That empathy idea is a BIGGIE for me, heck, for anyone. It's all aout seeing things from other people's points of view. We have to walk in their shoes and that reminds me that we have to get out of our own shoes first to do that. If you could work on one thing today - try that. Try having more empathy for those that are "differrent" than we are. If we get out of our own shoes first and then step into their shoes, maybe we can not only understand them better, but we also might find that we have more adaptability in our lives. Like the picture says, either we can do the changing or the change will be done for us. :-) It's up to us.

As always - reach out to me if you want to have a discussion. These are always great topics to talk about and get more perspectives on.

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Empathy - Such A Valuable Tool That All Of Us Need

1/9/2017

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“Empathy is about standing in someone else's shoes, feeling with his or her heart, seeing with his or her eyes. Not only is empathy hard to outsource and automate, but it makes the world a better place.” - Daniel H. Pink

If there is one thing, out of the many that are missing in the world today – it would have to be empathy. There is a HUGE need for this to be more visible in the world today. It would make decisions made, more on what they can do for others instead of what they can do for ourselves.

If decisions would be looked at from the eyes of those that it will most greatly affect, things would be better. If government officials could always take a step back and look at laws & policies being put into place from their constituent’s points of views, rather than the political implications that it will have; again, this world would be a better place.

I know this one for sure is out there. If people (namely me) could see things from their spouse’s point of view along with things from their kid’s point of view, again this would be a much better place. There could be so many arguments, miscommunications, misunderstandings, etc., that would be replaced with caring, thinking of the other person’s feelings, thoughts, and listening to their ideas. This really goes for anyone in our lives that are important to us. Also in a general sense, anyone we come into contact with, having a little empathy can go a long way.

Businesses could put more empathy into their decisions, from their customers along with their employees. There is such a big need for businesses to treat others right. To put people first instead of profits all the time. What many companies don’t realize is that you take care of those people that you are connected to as a company, those people will make things work and improve for your company. So much so, that profits will be healthy and growing.

Look at somewhere you can add empathy to in your life. Watch the great things that can come from it. Mainly, look at the difference it can make in your life with the way you see things, think about things and your reactions to others. This is the main way that you affect others in a positive way by your actions. You do not have to tell anyone about this. They will see it in the things you say and do. Try it and let me know how it goes.

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EMPATHY - The Great Connecting Piece Of Life's Puzzle

5/12/2016

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“If you can put yourself in the other person’s shoes, even if you don’t agree, then you can often see the issue from their perspective. This will then open the door for collaboration and communication." – Gail Gross

One of the most powerful views we can take in life is that of Empathy. It’s something that is needed in life for sure. Like other important skills in life, it works best the sooner you learn it. Empathy is all about seeing things from other people’s point of view. Looking around the world, it’s easy to see how much it’s needed. We can’t keep waiting for others do things that are right – it’s up to us to start now in trying to make a difference in the world.

It’s one of the skills that I try and promote to all my students. It’s one of the skills that I constantly try and remind myself that I need to get better at. Having people in my life that offer a variety of opinions, thoughts, backgrounds, ideas, etc., makes me a better person. Just because people don’t think the same way as I do, doesn’t mean I can’t be friends with them. In fact the older I get, the more I think I need these variety of thoughts and opinions in my life. It’s funny since also as I get older, I’m getting more set in my ways too. Life sure becomes interesting when you involve others’ point of view.

The ability to put yourself in someone’s shoes and see things from their point of view is something that is such a valuable skill. If you look at disagreements, arguments, problems in relationships; empathy is the main ingredient in helping in these areas. Since life really comes down to the quality and value in our relationships, this skill is one of the main building blocks I think in life.

When I read student feedback about our Leadership lessons and they mention the fact that they do try and use empathy to see how other people are feeling and apply those lessons to their own lives, that is really cool to see. I can’t tell you the number of times as I’m reading those student comments and I start getting the tears flowing (sometimes right into my coffee), really starts my day off in a great direction when I’m reading them in the morning.

My students teach me more than they will ever know. Their teachings, the lessons I get from their stories and feedback are very powerful. It’s one of THEE most valuable experiences I have as a teacher that applies great benefits to my life and also that affects the lives of people that I connect with too. Want some advice? Try it. Try using a little empathy to help you understand others but will ultimately help yourself too.

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Be Kind - We All Have Things Going On In Our Lives

9/30/2015

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"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle." — Plato

This thought has been with me for years as I have this sign posted in my classroom. I see it every day. It’s an idea that I think we all need to remember and realize the validity that Plato made with this statement.

I’ll be the first to admit when I get down in the dumps about things being difficult or that I’m not doing the things I know I need to do in order to be successful, I tend to forget the countless others that have it far worse than me. I know plenty of people personally that have it worse off, yet they seem to be happier than most people. I am working hard to keep this thought in my mind as I deal with people every day.

To hear the stories from people that share them, not only does it draw me closer to them as far as having empathy for them and their situation, it also inspires me to move forward to actually doing something about the issues and problems that I have – seeing others dealing with theirs really helps. This is one of many things that I think we need to focus on more – having empathy for others. Not so much sympathy, but empathy. That ability to take the point of view of others, to see things through their eyes, to imagine walking in their shoes; what a powerful opportunity we all have to learn so many valuable lessons that it can bring.

Our country got some good lessons in humbleness when Pope Francis came for a visit recently. Just watching the news stories about his visit were uplifting. The stories got me thinking about making changes in my life to include more of making a difference with others. Knowing that we are all fighting things in our lives that get in the way, it makes sense to try and do more to not only help others, but to also improve and help ourselves with what we can do in our own lives too.

Good reflections for this week and beyond. Any thoughts?

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Challenges Make Life Interesting - Quote of the Week

7/14/2014

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“Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful” – Joshua J. Marine

Thinking about how challenges are all around us all the time throughout life caused me to stop for a moment when I saw this quote. We all have challenges that we are dealing with. Each and every day. We see life challenges in the news, on social media, talking with friends and neighbors; enough to know that we are not alone when it comes to having challenges to deal with.

In pausing life here for a moment thinking about this idea, with a cup of coffee too by the way, I have come to a couple of main thoughts that stick out to me. First, I am indeed not the only one with problems and challenges. In fact not only do we all have them every day in our lives, some obviously are far worse than what we have to deal with. The thought that others do have it worse off than I do helps me to see that I need to not complain about my challenges and that I need to not let them define me along with not letting me quit due to those issues that I have.

Another thought that comes to me when I think about this is that there is tremendous empathy and caring for others that comes out of taking a few moments to dwell on these thoughts. Empathy is a point that I try and get my students to think about every year as I think it's one of the most powerful abilities that we have in connecting with other people. It's one that we all need to do more of in this world especially with all the lousy examples we see in the media about the selfishness and lack of character that seems to be all around us in our world.

These two ideas are really helping me as I face another of many challenges in my life as I go in for knee replacement surgery tomorrow. It truly has been a long and painful process over the last few years of trying to do everything I could to help my knee pain. It has finally come down to the fact that the severe arthritis that I have started to battle now in my life has caused me to make some choices to get back my quality of life that I want to have. I look forward to this process because I know at the end of it will be a life with less pain and my ability to do things I love to do. I know there will be more procedures that I will need to have done in the future due to these changes in my body as I get older. But I know there are so many people worse off than me, I will not let this stop me from doing the things that I know I need to do along with the new things I want to do in my life. There are so many more meaningful moments in my life that going through this and other upcoming challenges, will make them all the more sweeter.

What challenges are you going through right now where maybe you can take these couple of ideas to help you get through them and look ahead for better days? Let me know as we can help each other out with some new thoughts, ideas and discussions about this and many other life events that we all go through.

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I Don't Know, What I Don't Know

The Sting

Do You Have Adaptability?

Empathy - Such A Valuable Tool That All Of Us Need

EMPATHY - The Great Connecting Piece Of Life's Puzzle

Be Kind - We All Have Things Going On In Our Lives

Challenges Make Life Interesting - Quote of the Week

Coach John Daly

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