Category: Habits - Coach to Expect Success

Perspective - 3 Short Stories To Help

10/29/2019

Found 3 very short stories to help us see and think about having a little more Perspective in our lives. The 3 stories are HERE.

The first of these 3 stories is about "The Muddy Road" - 2 monks are walking and one stops to help a lady out of the mud. So he carries her to safety and puts her down and continues on his way. The other monk is worked up that he did that since they are not supposed to be around females, let alone touch one. The one who helped the lady mentions that he left her back there, why is he still worried about her? Carrying on a worry, burden, etc., does not good for our future. That enables us to keep having that one event cause us more problems than it originally did back when it happened. I know we need to learn from this mistake, maybe even remember some moments of it so we can learn and get better. I also try to let it go. I'm not always successful with that, but I know I need to.

The second story is titled "The Two Wolves" where a grandfather is telling the story to his grandson on how we all have 2 Wolves inside of us.. the good one and the bad one. The one that wins is the one we feed the most! The negative or positive voices we have... that's the key. We all battle with trying to do the right things in our life and we can be our own worst critic for sure. But it is shown over and over again which ever "voice" we let drive us, the one we "feed" the most is the one that will control our thoughts, etc. The key is WE have choice.

The final of the 3 stories is "The Farmer's Fortune" - so many things happen to this farmer and his son, and every time a neighbor says to him "that's too bad that happened..." or "isn't it fortunate that that happened...". The farmer responds the same each time... "perhaps" is all he says. He doesn't pile on in misery & complaining when things are not going well, nor does he get all fired up when things are great. He stays even keeled... no emotional swings or reactions... that's a great message for all of us. It's far more important as to what our reaction is compared to what actually happened to us. We never know the next door to open tomorrow no matter what we went through today.

This was a good and quick exercise to try. Click on the file link above and see what you can get out of these stories as far as perspective goes. Then let me know your thoughts. :-)

It's Time ....

8/3/2019

Wow... what a productive morning today!! I got up with my cup of coffee and our dog sitting on my lap as I finished up another book - "The Bottom of The Pool" by Andy Andrews. What a fabulous book and I knew it would be since I listened to Andy Andrews on 3 different podcasts - 2 as a guest on Brian Buffini's Podcast and the other was on John O'Leary's podcast. The third one of course was on Andy's own podcast - "The Professional Noticer". The discussions I heard about this book sold me on getting a copy.

His book really got me thinking about my thinking! It's everything to me as my thinking affects every thing in my life. You might say duh... that's not a surprise at all. But to hear it from him, to read it in the words that he shared so many stories about this - WOW was all I could say after reading it. That is a book that you want to make sure you get your hands on for sure.

I also watched a video clip this morning sent to me by a good friend, Stan Targosz. He sent it to Dr. Jeff Lip too as the 3 of us had a fabulous meeting this past week in recording a podcast for Jeff's show - again, a must listen to... find it (after August 12, 2019) and all of his podcasts at www.jefflip.com - We had some FANTASTIC and POWERFUL discussion both before and after the show. I walked out of there very excited and fired up about things in my life. A product that usually comes from hanging out with awesome people like Stan and Jeff.

Finally, I got to work out this morning - which I'm back on my schedule of every other day getting to the gym. That also allows me to listen to some great podcasts, do some awesome thinking, and always walking out of there feeling better about life and myself. This morning was no different. Scott Smith (The Daily Boost podcast), https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/motivationtomovecom/daily-boost mentioned about that it's time to become the person you have always wanted to be. To start doing the things that you need to do in order to start making that happen. The little things matter for sure. Changing habits matter. Our thinking matters. Action steps matter! Again, this is something that I know has to happen, but for many reasons (my excuses) they have not happened. Amazing to get re-connected with this again. I needed to hear it!

"Dr. Ron's Words of Wisdom" (https://drronblake.com/welcome-to-dr-rons-words-of-wisdom/) was another podcast that I got to listen to, with help of Sam Crowley. Dr. Ron mentioned that "only the prepared are in a position to change directions". Again, total truth that needed to find it's way into my mind & heart. Taking the action steps, changing my habits, doing little things that become big things!

What a great way to start my day and hope you use this to help yourself out a little.

Staying Positive When Life Gets Hard

2/7/2019

This article that I had my students look at for one of their recent weekly blog assignments had a great title: "How To Stay Positive When Life Gets Hard." It was a very short article that really focused in on 3 people and their thoughts about staying positive.

"Nothing is ever achieved without some trials and tribulations. The first step in moving beyond those circumstances is to remain positive. Without that, you’ll be perpetually stuck in the situation. No good has ever come from negativity."

— Mark Lee, founder and CEO of MDMartin, LLC

It's a good reminder for all of to remember that our lives do have a lot of ups and downs throughout our time of being on this earth. Remaining positive throughout life is a better way to take on these challenges compared to having a negative one. For some people this is difficult and it helps for anyone to have other positive people around them, reading good information, listening to good information, having things to do in life that are connected to their passions and to taking good care of themselves too. It's totally possible to more possible and again, it will help you figure things out a better than a negative attitude will.

"Stay positive, focus on being mindful and keep a clear head. When problem solving, don’t get discouraged if it doesn’t all go according to plan. You can’t control everything in life or business, so embrace the adversity and dig in even further to drive a positive outcome. The harder you work for something, the more rewarding it is in the end."

— Amanda Ruisi, founder and president of AKR Public Relations

Amanda brings up a fantastic idea here - it has so much to do with our current mindset that we choose to have. Remember, we can't choose what happens to us most of the time, but we certainl can choose how we will react. The old saying about life is 10% of what happens to us and 90% of how we respond. It is worth the hard work. At least if things don't work out, you have practiced by giving great effort so the next thing you need to work on, you already have some good habits going.

"I was diagnosed and treated for cancer when I was 19, and I have a uniquely optimistic and positive outlook as a result. But maintaining that positivity still takes constant effort. When I’m feeling down or overwhelmed, one of the best ways to change my mindset is to focus on gratitude and finding awe in the everyday. For example, when I got burned out from business travel last year, I took time on every flight to focus on what I’m grateful for and to think about how unbelievably awesome it is to be in the air flying."
--Jennifer Benz, founder and CEO of Benz Communications

Even if we are blessed to never have had cancer to deal with personally, my bet is that we all know someone who has had to fight that battle. So this example is an extreme one of course, but it does allow us to see someone who is fighting a HUGE battle and the lessons we can learn from them and their fight that they have on their hands. Learning lessons from others and their stories is something we should always look to do.

Remember that there are plenty of examples out there; articles, books, podcasts, videos, seminars, shows, etc., where we can get some good information in order to create some good habits. Remember what Zig Ziglar's son Tom said "The fastest way to success is to replace a bad habit with a good one." This post hopefully helps you do that.

A Better Version Of Ourselves Is Always Available

1/2/2018

“No matter who you are, no matter what you did, no matter where you've come from, you can always change, become a better version of yourself.”
― Madonna

The new year is always famous for helping us to think about all the changes we want to make in our lives. If you are like me, there are probably many that you would like to make. I think a key for me is that I finally figured out that this can happen each and every day and not just on January 1. It's something that is there for any one of us to work on improving ourselves, our lives, our circumstances, etc. It comes down to making a decision along with getting rid of old habits and creating new ones in their place.

So many people look at the rich and famous as if they are special and what they have in their lives, nobody else can ever have. For many of the rich and famous there is usually a back story of hard work, sacrifice, and overcoming adversity & failure. We can also have success in our lives since we can do those exact same things - put in the hard work, sacrifice things that will help us get there, and we certainly don't have to let adversity & failure stop us.

So this day - not just this new year - that is my plan, to take this montra, this mindset, that I want to keep working at improving myself and everything that I do. The great thing about it is that I have so many choices to choose from as to what I can work on. I bet you have a few too. Maybe not as many as I have, but still, enough for you to choose from. When I think about this, I get fired up!! There is no time like the present to get going on self-improvement. So why not start today? And do it again tomorrow, and the next day and the day after that and just - keep - going!!

Being Honest - Especially With Ourselves

9/22/2015

"You need to be brutally honest with yourself." -- Mark Cuban

When it comes down to it, I think most of us are the least honest with ourselves compared to trying to be honest with other people. There are things about ourselves that only we know about, but yet we have a difficult time sometimes being honest with ourselves about fixing or improving things in our lives. Maybe it’s just me, but I find myself having difficulty sometimes being honest with myself. This is something that I’ve been working on little by little over the years.

I think the sooner we can become honest with ourselves, our whole world can change. If we are honest with ourselves then that will hopefully lead to doing things better which hopefully lead to better habits. Better habits will lead to better results, but it really starts with us being honest with ourselves.

Look around today at the lack of honesty. Companies have issues with this. Politicians have issues with this. There are all walks of life and professions that have trouble being honest. It’s one of the biggest things in our life that needs to be looked at being fixed. But remember, the government can‘t do it for us, that’s for sure. I think too many people are looking at the government or others to fix this issue. We need to be the ones and it starts by one, ourselves.

Everyday actions, everyday thoughts, everyday in the way we treat others – that’s one way to lead by example to set a new example on how things should be done. It’s amazing to see so many of the world’s problems caused by character type issues. It can be fixed. It has to be fixed as the direction and path that we are on as a society is not a good one at all. It’s up to us plain and simple. Is it easy work? Heck no. Is it worth doing? You better believe it is. Just remember, it’s not one of us trying to do it all on our own. It’s all of us doing what we can do, and the first step is to be honest with ourselves. That first step will help us to do what we have to do to help others for sure. Now be honest – what can you do?

We Just Have To Give Ourselves A Chance!

8/25/2015

"You can make startling changes you can’t even conceive of right now, if you just give yourself half a chance." -- Jim Rohn

As I was looking through some quote ideas another one from the great Jim Rohn jumped out at me. I think so many times in our lives, if we give ourselves a chance to do great things, we will indeed do just that.

You know, before we are able to do really do anything in life we have to tell ourselves to do it. Just getting up on time in the morning, making breakfast, filling the car up with gas, taking a shower, etc. Now with other things, it’s a lot more difficult than simply telling ourselves to do it. We have to convince ourselves for the really important and life changing things that we need to do. Those items such as going after your dreams and goals, stepping up to push yourself to get rid of bad habits and replace them with good ones, to reach out to help others that maybe not too many others are willing to help out, along with looking to make a difference with others throughout your lifetime.

It’s about being continually inspired throughout life. We need to have those inspirational reminders just about on a daily basis I think. Those stories that we can relate to that helps us believe that we too can do great things. To get us to understand that we don’t have to settle. We simply need to give ourselves a chance, an opportunity to do them. Jim Rohn went onto say “The real value in setting goals is not in their achievement. The acquisition of the things you want is strictly secondary. The major reason for setting goals is to compel you to become the person it takes to achieve them.”

When we look back on the great moments in our lives, they usually come from overcoming difficulties, maybe a long time in working hard and then something wonderful happens along with the fact that we can look back at all the great people that came into our lives along with the new things we learned during that time period. It’s also a time to see the people that aren’t in our lives anymore. Our journey throughout life takes us into different directions that others won’t follow us through. They have their own journeys to go on and even though it’s sad to lose friends, it’s necessary for us to become who we want to and need to become.

Part of this equation is to figure it out sooner than later as some of our many journeys through life take time. The sooner we realize this, the more things we can go through to get us to become the person we want to be. Another key, maybe even a more important one is to realize that it’s never too late to start on any of these possible journeys. You know, I’ve been learning a lot lately and much of it is dealing with the person that I know I need to become in order for things to happen. Much of it are things that I’d rather not face, not talk about, and not have to go through. I know I need to go through them and face them in order for things to get better for me but more importantly for those that are around me. My wife and kids, my other family members, my students, my basketball players, fellow teachers, coaches, friends and neighbors along with the countless people that I haven’t even met yet. I’ve been playing small most of my life. That time has to end, and end now. What are some of the things you need to give yourself permission to do? Just give yourself a chance, something little, just one thing. Then just look for those little things each and every day that can help you. When you find them, please let me know and others too, since I know that we are all looking for those little things to help us in our journeys through life.

Don't Wish For Things To Be Easier - Wish To Get Better!

4/19/2015

“Don’t wish it was easier, wish you were better. Don’t wish for less problems, wish for more skills. Don’t wish for less challenge, wish for more wisdom.” – Jim Rohn

It’s no surprise that I found this from the Success Magazine Facebook page. Jim Rohn has helped many, many people with Leadership & Success ideas over the years and this thought should be at the top of the list when it comes to advice to follow.

I’ve been a personal fan of Jim Rohn’s work for a long time. His quotes and books are pure gold. Watching him over the years through his videos, he is so down to earth and relatable, which are two key elements I think to help connect with people.

This whole quote is built off the very first sentence. Don’t wish for things to be easier is such a powerful and easy sentence. We have heard many times from different lessons and different leaders about this fact. The key to this where Jim says wish you were better is to first think about wishing or wanting to be better, and then doing something about it. Create a plan so that wish of yours to be better actually starts coming true.

We all have problems in life and it’s hard to not dwell on them sometimes. By dwelling on them it gets in the way of us being able to solve them. Most of the time, the worry that we put on those problems will cause them to grow in size and become even bigger and more troublesome for ourselves and those around us too. If we grow and learn more skills to help solve those problems then we will become stronger, wiser, and better able to solve future problems too and you know there will be more problems in the future.

Another key to this quote is for us to do things to get better, to learn new skills and to become wiser with life’s lessons. Creating the habits necessary to help make these things happen involves more reading, hanging out with some different people that will help push us out of our comfort zone, and beginning to change our regular routines that have lead to our current state of where we are today. I think anytime is good to re-think some of these things in our lives, but especially in springtime. It’s a time of new growth, colors come back into view along with new life happening all around us. A perfect time for us to make these things happen.

What are you going to do today, this week, this month and this year to help follow Jim’s advice? I know I need to start working on many things to make this happen and as I’m finishing this up, I’m about to head out the gym to get a workout in. I’ve been going for the last couple of weeks, more faithfully and it’s making a big difference in helping me to change the things for me to get going in the direction that I have to go in.

Everyone should take this class, "Philosophy of YOU!" Quote of the week....

6/30/2014

"Don't borrow someone else's plan. Develop your own philosophy and it will lead you to unique places." -- Jim Rohn

Jim brings up a great idea when I saw this quote from him. We all should take a course in the Philosophy of ourselves. The great thing about it is that it won't cost us hundreds of dollars per credit hour that we have to pay to a university. It will cost us some time and maybe a little money in trying to create the course for ourselves, but in the end it will be worth it.

No matter what stage you are at in your life, this development of your own philosophy is important enough to get started on as soon as you can. Of course like many of my postings, it does hold true for this one too: the sooner you get going on this, the better your life could be. There is another point here too, and that is we cannot follow someone else's plan. We have to come up with our own blueprint of our own lives. Now that's not to say that we should not take others' thoughts and opinions into developing our own plan, but for the final decisions, it does come down to ourselves creating our own plan for our life.

As I constantly try and get my students to realize they have to follow their own goals and dreams instead of doing things to please others. I not only find myself needing that advice still at my age but now I also am trying to pass that advice onto my two kids as well. My son will be 21 later this year and my daughter just turned 18 and graduated from high school. I am always looking for suggestions as possible careers for them to look into - with what I think connects to them as the person each of them are starting to become. I am for sure promoting to both of them to explore, ask questions, meet people and look deep inside of themselves to find out what drives them. What do they get fired up about? What excites them? What do they stay up late working on? Along with, what gets them out of bed in the morning so they can get going on things right away? The key for all of us, is to look at these questions for ourselves. Remember, it's never too late to get going chasing after our own dreams, goals and passions.

What do we need to find some of these things out for ourselves? For one thing, we need to spend some time to actually think about some of these things that make up our plan. We need to write them down too, so we can read, plan, make goals, think some more on them and let the ideas come flowing out to help us get going. We need to also change our thinking. The most valuable tool we have is our own brains. The 5 or 6 inches between our ears should be guarded very tightly with what we allow into it. Look to make some changes in our thinking, what we read, watch and listen to. Another point is watching out who we hang out with. Those people that we let affect us are vitally important as to who we become and what plan we are working from too. Finally, our habits are key. This involves how we spend our valuable time and what are we accomplishing with it. Spending our time involves action - we are doing something with our time, but we need to look at how that is actually getting us closer or farther away from our drams and goals. This one is a biggie for me as I struggle with it often. Something once again that I find myself dealing with this summer. I look forward to making some serious strides to improving my habits and how I spend my time.

What about you? Anything here ring true for you too? Always look to reflect on these and other things that can bring you closer to going after your dreams and goals. Find some time this week to do just that. Let me know how it's coming and maybe even get in touch and let me know how I can help you out along with you probably being able to help me out too.

Quote of the Week - October 14, 2013

10/14/2013

"Happiness is a choice" ~ Rick Warren

Such a simple truth that bears repeating. It's totally up to us to take this choice and make it our own. I know when I saw it this morning (Monday) I know I had to make it a focus of the week for me and for others too. I was tired after staying up watching my Detroit Tigers fall apart and lost game 2 of the ALCS. Also, it was such a busy weekend with so many things going on that I didn't get done everything I wanted to accomplish, so I was feeling a little down about that.

So not only did I see this quote when I got up this morning, but I also was thinking about it on my way into work. Reminding myself that I have the power to dictate my own day was huge! Napoleon Hill (who I was listening to this morning on my way into work) says it all the time. One of the key components of living a successful life, is to work hard at having control over our own mind. I realized through listening to him that I do indeed have a choice as to my attitude, my mindset, the way I respond to things, etc. It really helped me this weekend as I am really concentrating on watching how I respond to my wife and kids when things don't go my way.

It just occurred to me on how important this statement is. So, I just copied and pasted it into Word. I printed it out to keep on my monitor here at school. I will also have it on my folder for one of my classes too. It's just a nice little check point to re-adjust my thinking and to help me get through the rough times. How do these 4 words affect you? Any thoughts?

Quote of the Week - August 26, 2013

8/26/2013

"Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently." -Henry Ford

There was a little bit of a connection to this being a Monday and this wonderful quote from Henry Ford. When I saw it this morning I thought about the fact that I needed to reset and begin a few things again today, being the start of another week. This week is crucial leading up to the new school year and there are plenty of things I need to work on in a more intelligent way than I've done before.

This holds true with work things that we have to do, but more importantly it also has to do with life things too. The sooner we look at the difficulties in our lives, how did we arrive there, what things can we learn from those experiences, how can I make changes so it doesn't happen again; are just some of the things we need to think about. This of course is all wieved arround the fact that we can't let our own negative thinking get in the way of learning from our failures.

One thought I had when I read this over a few times this morning, was that all the things I've failed at throughout my life, I must not have learned much since some of the things I'm still struggling with. From there it might be a thought like, 'what makes you think this time will be any different?' Another one; 'who are you kidding, you know you'll end up right where you started as you have tried this so many times.'

A funny thing though. As I started running the usual negative thoughts in my head there was a little response, just a little voice that said - hey, this time can be different. It also said that 'you know you can do this', along with little pictures in my mind about me being successful and actually doing these things that I'm working on doing. The key is that over time (and for me it's been a long journey) I have learned little bits and pieces even if I wasn't successful at accomplishing things that I wanted to do, I still got just a tiny bit better than I was before.

There is the key! As long as you come coming back, struggle, try and do more, try and get better, keep trying to accomplish things in your life; this quote from Henry Ford will continue to hold truth for you. This is why it's important to continue to read and listen to things more than once. In fact it should be many times - some experts even say almost 20 times we need to read or listen to something for it really to become a habit, or it gets placed inside of us that we can draw on it any time we need it. What is it for you? What does Mr. Ford's quote mean to you? How do you connect to it? As always I invite you to share with me and others your thoughts and ideas about this quote, for there will be many other ideas and thoughts that can help me and others. It's always great to see someone's thoughts and opinions that can get us thinking differently. Seeing things from different points of view are always helpful.