All Categories - Coach to Expect Success

5 Traits of Naturally Resilient People

4/15/2019

Found a great article about being more resilient and if there is something that I have always needed more of, it's this! The first point is to get some perspective. Stepping back to see what our challenge really is, and how "bad" it is, that's something I need to do more of. One of the things - I was just thinking about this morning on my way into work, was that gratitude gives me tremendous perspective. Some perspective was shared with me (again) from Dr. Joe DiPonio, our Superintendent. He shared with my Leadership students last Thursday about Mr. Mike Popson who was a HUGE difference maker with him when he was a high school student. So much of a difference that Dr. DiPonio got into education and has really excelled (some would say over achieved... hehehe) at being a difference maker for others.

The second point was to be realistic about where you are. That one hits me on many levels, first of all is my age of 53 and that leads me to thinking about so many different things. My career as an educator and basketball coach and the fact that I am so grateful for each of those and the people that have come into my life from these 2 awesome professions. So fired up about what is next in my career too since it will still be about being an educator and coach.

The third point is to take responsibility. This one again, there is some element or relief and comfort when we realize how important it is to take control of things in our life. Owning the things that we do and letting go of the things that are not important or essential - that is the key in life.

Got to love this next one - Having a sense of humor! I was just talking with a former student today and a few coworkers too. This subject came up with all of the. We have to laugh. Especially at some things that are so bad that getting upset will not help, but laughing makes you feel better and I have found it to help calm me down so that I can see some other solution, some other door so often appears that will help me with the original problem. Plus I've heard it's good for you health wise to laugh a few times a day.

Last of the five points is to have courage. It's one of the most important factors in life. Some of us are better at it than others. I am not one of those... yet! I have been working on increasing my courage all throughout life. I'm getting better but I realize I need to keep working on it since I am not where I want to be nor am I at the place where I know I have to be!

Great article - check it out for yourself HERE.

Staying Positive When Life Gets Hard

2/7/2019

This article that I had my students look at for one of their recent weekly blog assignments had a great title: "How To Stay Positive When Life Gets Hard." It was a very short article that really focused in on 3 people and their thoughts about staying positive.

"Nothing is ever achieved without some trials and tribulations. The first step in moving beyond those circumstances is to remain positive. Without that, you’ll be perpetually stuck in the situation. No good has ever come from negativity."

— Mark Lee, founder and CEO of MDMartin, LLC

It's a good reminder for all of to remember that our lives do have a lot of ups and downs throughout our time of being on this earth. Remaining positive throughout life is a better way to take on these challenges compared to having a negative one. For some people this is difficult and it helps for anyone to have other positive people around them, reading good information, listening to good information, having things to do in life that are connected to their passions and to taking good care of themselves too. It's totally possible to more possible and again, it will help you figure things out a better than a negative attitude will.

"Stay positive, focus on being mindful and keep a clear head. When problem solving, don’t get discouraged if it doesn’t all go according to plan. You can’t control everything in life or business, so embrace the adversity and dig in even further to drive a positive outcome. The harder you work for something, the more rewarding it is in the end."

— Amanda Ruisi, founder and president of AKR Public Relations

Amanda brings up a fantastic idea here - it has so much to do with our current mindset that we choose to have. Remember, we can't choose what happens to us most of the time, but we certainl can choose how we will react. The old saying about life is 10% of what happens to us and 90% of how we respond. It is worth the hard work. At least if things don't work out, you have practiced by giving great effort so the next thing you need to work on, you already have some good habits going.

"I was diagnosed and treated for cancer when I was 19, and I have a uniquely optimistic and positive outlook as a result. But maintaining that positivity still takes constant effort. When I’m feeling down or overwhelmed, one of the best ways to change my mindset is to focus on gratitude and finding awe in the everyday. For example, when I got burned out from business travel last year, I took time on every flight to focus on what I’m grateful for and to think about how unbelievably awesome it is to be in the air flying."
--Jennifer Benz, founder and CEO of Benz Communications

Even if we are blessed to never have had cancer to deal with personally, my bet is that we all know someone who has had to fight that battle. So this example is an extreme one of course, but it does allow us to see someone who is fighting a HUGE battle and the lessons we can learn from them and their fight that they have on their hands. Learning lessons from others and their stories is something we should always look to do.

Remember that there are plenty of examples out there; articles, books, podcasts, videos, seminars, shows, etc., where we can get some good information in order to create some good habits. Remember what Zig Ziglar's son Tom said "The fastest way to success is to replace a bad habit with a good one." This post hopefully helps you do that.

Making Each Moment Count - Mitch Albom

1/22/2019

The story of Mitch Albom visiting his old professor, Morrie Schwartz and the profound life-changing lessons he learned. His book "Tuesdays With Morrie" is a joyful and hope-filled book that you must check out. It is one of my favorite books of all time! There is even a move that was created from the book, which is again a special life-changing movie that you should watch. Check out the Youtube video of Mitch Albom's speech, HERE. (or you can watch it below)

One of the fist lessons he shares is the fact that after his first visit, Mitch thought about the fact that in his 30's he was not as happy as Morrie was in his late 70's. Mitch had his health, a life in front of him, a great job, etc., and Morrie was dying with ALS disease and he seemed 10X happier! What was that all about? Mitch had to find out more.

With all the visits that Mitch had with his "coach" on Tuesdays, he learned enough to write his book that was set up to help with Morrie's medical bills. Taking vs. Giving. A great lesson about life being so much enjoyable and memorable when we give to others instead of just taking for ourselves. Life is all about giving and the relationships we can establish with others. That's a powerful message that all of us can take. This 12 minute or so video has some powerful & memorable ideas for us to take and make our own. Then we can give them away to help others in our lives. Morrie has had a HUGE positive affect on millions of people's lives. Read the book. Find the movie. Check them out in order to gain the full heartfelt messages and lessons. No kidding, I've watched the movie more than 70 times probably as it's been shown in my classes since it first came out, and I'm still learning new lessons every time I watch it. You can do the same. :-)

Things More Important Than Money

1/7/2019

Found a great article that I read over break and it was so great, that I wanted to have my students blog about it too! Having some time off over the recent Christmas Holiday Season always gives me time to slow down and do a few things that I normally can't do - read more, sleep in, relax, etc., and I am really blessed to be able to do that. You can check out the article HERE.

One of the nine factors the article talked about was actually #1 on the list - and that is TIME! Not sure why it's #1 from this author, but I would also put it at the most important spot too. It's the one thing that we all need to manage better. In other words how we spend our time. It's the one resource that once it's gone, we can't get it back. Contrary to some peoples thoughts - I do think we can manage time. We manage money - how we spend it, what we do with it. The same goes with time. I am constantly looking to improve how I manage the use of my time.

Determination is another big one for me. One of which I need to work on a lot more. I've been looking to improve this one for a long time and to me Courage fits right with this one. The whole confidence factor is one that is closely connected. I need to keep investing to improve all of these with myself. I can see that since I've been focused on these, my life has improved in many ways. Now the key is to ramp up the efforts needed to grow in these areas even more. Articles like this along with reading my students' blog posts are key!!

Final of the 3 points for me??? It has to be Heart and Soul. There are so many things that come into play here with this one. The passion and heart that we need in life for things that mean something to us - those are the things that we need to put more focus into. I just read one of my student's blog post about this same article. She mentioned that if she has passion and heart for something in her life - she will find a way to make it work and to ultimately make some $$ from doing it. Having heart and soul for life, for people, for things that we spend our time with, etc., it's one thing that as I get older I have found to be even more and more important. Important enough for me to keep working on them. :-)

Lessons From Coach John Wooden on a TED Talk.

1/1/2019

Coach John Wooden will always be a teacher to me. A fantastic educator who's messages and methods are needed today in our world more than ever. In this video that Coach did for a TED Talk, he brings up so many valuable lessons. One of which is his definition of success and how it is more about us doing our best instead of comparing ourselves to others. That is something that all of us can remember and take with us wherever we go. His dad was one of the biggest difference makers in his life and the lessons that he took with him througout his whole life - and his life lasted just about 100 years!! Now we can take those lessons from his entire life and get them from a video or read them in one of his many books.

The other part to this is from Coach Wooden's "Pyramid of Success"! Again, so many valuable lessons from this document - for 2019 I am looking to gain CONFIDENCE in myself and apply that to things that I need to do - things that I have had to do for years!! I know it's inside of me and I've had glimpes of it before, but there is no time like the present to get this going in my life. SELF-CONTROL is something that I also need to work on. I need to develope better habits, those things that will take me closer to my dreams and goals and not further away. On the flip side there are bad habits that I need to replace. It's been said that the quickest way to success is to replace a bad habit with a good one. That needs to be something I look to do every day! Again - so many valuable reminders from a timeless document that Coach Wooden gave to us.

Failure Lessons

1/1/2019

For my first blog of the Winter term I found this great quote: "Confidence comes from not always being right - but from not fearing to be wrong." - Peter T. Mcintyre

This is something that I think is a HUGE deal in life, finding confidence in many different areas of our lives and minimizing the fear of being wrong or failing. I have always seemed to have issues growing up - some still today - with not having a lot of confidence in myself. So many examples of me giving up and not sticking with things just because they got too difficult or it was going to take too much time. Wow.. wish I had knows about how important this skill was back when I was younger.

This other thing that I found was this following picture below - I can attest to this for sure! My lack of confidence in myself has cost me far more than any little stumble or failure that I've had. Here is one reason why - my lack of confidence at times kept me from trying again and figuring out the initial issue in the first place. My problem could have been solved with just the simple act of pulling myself back up and trying again, maybe in a smarter way than I did it before. Now with age, comes wisdom and I know now that I need to stick with things and not give up so much. Good stuff for all of us to learn. ;-)

To Forgive & Forget

11/12/2018

What an amazing article I found on the importance of forgiveness - click HERE to check out the article from Success magazine. It has some great reminders for myself on the skill of forgiveness and the importance that it has on our overall health and well being. Remember, there are studies after studies on this topic that proves in so many different ways the benefits of forgiving.

Not only is it in our own best interest to forgive others but the same goes with ourselves too. It's not about making others feel better about what they did or didn't do - the key is that it lightens our own burden of anger & resentment that actually does more damage to ourselves than the other person. I guess this is another example of how we learn with age some important lessons in life.

I was listening to a great podcast with Brian Buffini and his guest, Dr. Daniel Amen (listen to it HERE), and he had this 18-40-60 rule. When we are 18 we care what everyone thinks about us. When we are 40 we don't care at all what others think or say about us and when we are 60 we realize they weren't really thinking about us at all as they were too busy thinking about themselves. When I heard this, I thought about how true it is first of all, but then I also thought about the importance to forgive others too on this journey of age. One thing that many people do is to hold onto that stubbornness throughout life and then it's too late, as either the other person dies or we die without saying we are sorry. That age progression is a good marker system as to the different stages.

The combination of these ideas really got my week off to a great start and I hope it helps you whenever you read it. Remember, I'm always interested in getting a discussion going on this. Let me know anytime if you have any thoughts and ideas as to this topic.

Do You Have Adaptability?

11/6/2018

Being more adaptable is something that I think comes with age for some people, and for others it means we become less adaptable. I found another great article and it brought up this point about being adaptable, one that seems we don't talk about nearly enough. Find the artcle HERE.

One of the main points that the article hit me with right off the bat is the important fact about how crucial relationships are in life. With people of course comes the opportunity to show how flexible we are, how we are adaptable or not. Our flexibilty is described as our willingess to adapt and that it really comes down to our attitude. Staying with the idea about people, we know how difficult it can be to be adaptable. We also have to remember that since this is one of the most important skills (of many) that we can have in our lives, that automatically means that it won't be easy. Remember - things that are worthwhile, things that mean anything, usually will not come easy. There will be work involved. There will be setback. There is a need for effort to be put into these things.

Some of the pieces of being adaptable is confidence, tolerance, empathy, being positive and having a respect for others. Funny thing is, as I'm typing these words out I'm thinking about how I do these sometimes in my life, and other times I need some major help with them. Another point that comes to mind is that having the willingness to grow in these areas is also something that is needed in order to become more flexible. The world needs more of this, not less. Look at the list of those pieces - do you realize how much more power they represent if you implement them into your life? I know that I need to live more of those in my life everyday.

That empathy idea is a BIGGIE for me, heck, for anyone. It's all aout seeing things from other people's points of view. We have to walk in their shoes and that reminds me that we have to get out of our own shoes first to do that. If you could work on one thing today - try that. Try having more empathy for those that are "differrent" than we are. If we get out of our own shoes first and then step into their shoes, maybe we can not only understand them better, but we also might find that we have more adaptability in our lives. Like the picture says, either we can do the changing or the change will be done for us. :-) It's up to us.

As always - reach out to me if you want to have a discussion. These are always great topics to talk about and get more perspectives on.

6 Reasons To Step Outside Your Comfort Zone

10/29/2018

Came across an interesting article that I gave to my students for one of their weekly blog assignments. This article titled "6 Reasons To Step Outside Your Comfort Zone" - by Carolyn Gregoire had some great points to it. Find the article HERE.

Now this subject about getting out of my comfort zone has been one that I've been hearing a lot of lately. It has been a major part of my conversations with some friends of mine along with hearing the message over and over again in different podcasts too.

When we step out of our comfort zone there can be tremendous risk involved which can lead to more worries & stress. But to me, there seems to be enough of these things in our world right now and I have tried to look upon it as opportunity rather than just sitting back and letting things happen to me and I don't do anything about it. To me, taking risk to grow and get better is a good trade off compared to the misery and worry about reacting to all the stuff going on in the world.

There are new doors that open up for us when we get out of our comfort zone along with meeting new people too. We learn new things about ourselves along with picking up some new skills at times too. A little anxiety or stress can help us achieve more in our lives. The article also brings up the fact (and I agree) that we can't be getting out of our comfort zone 24 / 7. There are times where it is totally ok for us to be in our comfort zone and relaxing and unplugging for sure. That's exactly what I did this weekend and I got to say, I liked it. ;-)s No

Inspiration - We Need It More Often Than We Think

10/22/2018

It's been a long time coming... but I needed to get back to my blog page. It got me thinking about how long since I've done a post and that I need to be more active in doing more. This is from an article that I gave my students to complete their Blog #7 assignment in my classes - "21 of The Most Inspirational Quotes. Find the article HERE.

This thought - "It is always the simple that produces the marvelous", is one that I connected with this past weekend. So many simple things that I try and do with my wife, our kids and even our dog. We went out to dinner Friday night, the 4 of us - me and my wife and our two adult children. We normally don't do that too often any more due to so many different schedules, but for this time it sure was a nice treat being out with them. My wife and I also took our dog out for a walk Sunday - actually more of a run at our local middle school track. It was cold and windy, but watching him sprint back and forth across the football field a couple of times was a lot of fun. The simple things like that ALWAYS bring me a lot of peace, joy and a reminder as to what's really important.

The second one that I connected with is about making our future now! I'm working on this so that some ideas and dreams that I have can become my reality sometime soon. Amazing to think about how much time I've let go by without going after these dreams and goals. But, instead of letting this thought get me down (which I've done for so many years), I'm working on starting to make them happen now. I don't care that I'm 52 years old, I still can make things happen in my life today. Doesn't matter my age. What matters is that I start and things will change for the better soon. The key for my students is to realize just because they are young and seem to have all the time in the world - which we all know isn't really true... we don't know how much time we have. The younger we are when we start going after dreams and goals - the more time we will have with living them into reality! :-)