Category: Focus - Coach to Expect Success

Being Present & Focusing On Giving Others My Attention

10/21/2021

Found a great video clip that comes from Tony Robbins that reminds us about the importance of being in the present moment - wherever that might find us - it's really the only place to be. Check out the video HERE.

Many times we get caught up in the past along with worrying about the future too. We forget to look down to where our feet are, right now at the moment. I love that reminder as it's quick and easy for us to make sure we know where we are right now & that's all we can do at the moment, is be where we are at. I heard something recently from another podcast that gets right on top of this topic. It was mentioned that what keeps us up at night are usually fearful, negative, worrisome issues. Where the things that usually get us out of bed are more hopeful, inspiring, things to go after for the day, etc.

It's all part of not looking in the rear-view window of our lives and not focusing too much of the things way out in front of us either. My good friend, Dr. Jeff Lip has mentioned it many times - if we get focused too much on the past, often times it leads to depression. The fact that we are not as young as we used to be, the relationships that we lost, the regrets start piling up, etc. If we focus too much on the future - we get anxious, worried about things we think are going to happen, etc. We miss out on the present, the place we are currently at. It's the only place that we can actually do something about.

Finally, when I am able to focus on other people and looking to help them; I am finding that not only do my problems get smaller, but I find out new ways & ideas of dealing with them too. It allows me to open up to see new possibilities instead of being locked up inside my own head and trying to figure out solutions just from my perspective.

Having An Open Minded Mindset, Sure Does Help

10/19/2021

Listened to a great podcast recently where Ann Hiatt was a guest on John Lee Dumas' podcast, "Fire Nation". She had so many powerful things to say that it got me going in some great thinking directions, not only for myself, but also my students too. I had them listen to this podcast to help them see the connection to the week's Positivity Project connection to Open-Mindedness.

Check out the podcast HERE.

A few things that I connected from this podcast & I know will help me with what I want to do in my profession as an educator and a coach - First, there are so many "behind the scenes" things or "under the radar" things that I can do to build myself & my profession, stronger & having more of an impact. The little everyday things that go unnoticed by most - I can focus on them everyday, knowing they bring value to what I want to do. Waking up early, reading more, getting to work early & getting prepared. Making time for others to help solve issues & questions before they become problems. So many things that we all can do, that might not get other people to notice - but we know are the right things to do.

Second thing that stood out to me was the idea of staying ahead of myself as I learn new things, pick up new skills, be open to new opportunities, etc. There is this mindset of "reinventing" ourselves every so often. I certainly do not want to stay where I'm at as far as abilities & knowledge. It's become apparent to me recently that I want to keep learning new things, meeting new people, coming up with new ideas, etc., until my final day on earth. That's just me.

Finally - there are so many different paths towards success & that one way does not work for everyone. Success is such a broad definition for so people. One thing for sure that I'm seeing more and more (especially with my new position as an ESL Coach at school) is that my positive attitude / outlook / mindset, etc., is a difference maker. I see many people that are of the opposite mindset and I see the struggles they are having compared to others. Remember, having a positive attitude / outlook / mindset, does not mean you don't have problems. It means that you can solve them A TON better with a positive mindset than with a negative one. THAT IS FACT!

Clarity In Our Future

6/23/2020

There are so many things going on where many people are worried about their future. I get it. The economy. Fears about our health with the Covid19 Pandemic around us. All of the civil unrest. Everything that seems to have a political connection to it. The simple fact of human interaction is still not happening like it normally does.

There have been plenty of things that have cleared up too. Things in life that have been shown to be important and things that have not shown that we need to get rid of too. There are plenty of people I think that have learned some important lessons throughout the year 2020 so far. For others, maybe the lessons have not been found yet. Maybe some people are still focusing on the things that are causing most of their troubles.

I found something to tie into this thought in John O'Leary's book "In Awe", where John talks about Fr. Tom Hoar being on his podcast and he brought up a very important question that we need to ask ourselves - Have you had enough? With Fr. Hoar, it's all tied into addiction. He mentions about changing happening when we have had enough of the the life that we have been living and we are deeply looking for something better. He also mentions about being addicted to the unimportant. This is something that caught my eye. Not only do I think we all have addictions to some things in our lives - things that are unimportant are eating up a lot of everyone's time at one point or another in life. I know it's happening to me.

Of the many things happening in this year of 2020, I have found an extreme understanding of many things I don't want to focus on any more. The hate that has sprung up in our lives, heck, it's always been there - but we are seeing it more and more now. Politics! If there is one thing that I have developed a strong distaste for in recent years, it's this. I still vote, but I will not let these political leaders affect my life where I blindly close my eyes, heart and mind to people who have a different opinion than I do. It's a fine line of controlling the information, the opinions of others, the messages that I let affect me and my life and still being able to function in society. The lack of character in our world is something that I do not want to join in with just to fit in.

I need to continue this journey of being better than the guy I was the day before. The important lessons that continue to be thrown at me, I need to not only continue to learn from them but I also need to make the changes in my life that I got from those lessons. In a small way... YES is my answer to that question - Have you had enough? Yes, I've had enough of holding myself back from going after my goals and dreams. Yes, I've had enough of my negative thinking towards others and myself. Yes, I've had enough of mortgaging my future for being comfortable today & not putting in the hard work so that my tomorrows will be better. This pandemic has taught me a lot about wanting clarity for my future. I for one, need to ramp up my efforts for making the changes I know I need to make. What about you?

Sense of Humor Is Key In Life!

6/30/2019

On Thursday, June 27 I got the opportunity with two good friends of mine, Paul & Craig - to see the one and only David Feherty at the Fox Theater in Detroit, Michigan. I have always been a big fan of his throughout his playing & broadcasting careers. So when I saw that he was having his show there, I knew I had to go. Let me tell you - he was incredible!! An absolute joy to laugh so hard for just about the entire 2 hours and 15 minutes that he spoke.

One of the key elements that David talked about was having a sense of humor. Some of his language could be deemed offensive by some people and he made sure that was never his intent. His intent is to show humor in life's ups and downs. In fact, he mentioned one important thing - and I agree with him. It's tough to trust someone who doesn't have a sense of humor. Maybe trust is a strong word, but at least it's tough to work with them, like them or have a good relationship with them. I think many people are drawn to people with a sense of humor in life.

To hear his story of the ups (playing pro golf, winning tournaments, and playing in the Ryder Cup) and the lows (alcohol / drugs, growing up in a war zone, divorce, etc.) and his sense of humor and gratitude are what got him through life. You see, he became a citizen of the United States after he was born in Northern Ireland. The importance of what this country offered him as far as opportunities - he did not take that for granted. During his talk he shared his love and affection for the USA and it was one of the many things that helps to connect him to many people.

I walked out of this show in total gratitude for what he shared with us. Laughing so hard that there were tears in my eyes and to share it with friends made it even more enjoyable. It's been said that laughter is good for the soul, and I totally believe it. I walked out of there more appreciative and grateful for what I have in my life. I also will be focusing on having a sense of humor more in my life, especially when I look at myself. There are many ups and downs in everyone's life and David reminds us to look for those humorus moments and laugh a little bit at them before you go and do something about it.

Reminder for me...

5/4/2019

"Don't compete with others; make them compete with you."

This was a quote I mentioned awhile back in one of my podcasts and it took a friend of mine - Coach Ruekert, to remind me of that. Of course you can take a look at sports for this connection as I am sure that I used this during last season with our girls basketball team. But looking at it again, I need to use it for my everyday life too. In fact, probably more important that I do that. I know there are plenty of things that I just have to start doing instead of watching others do what they are doing.

The competing with others in one area is time. My time is being spent on things & people, where it's probably not the best place to be spending it on. When I'm talking about people, this morning in fact I spent a little bit of time watching Sports Center. Nothing wrong with that of course but after getting caught up with the world of sports (which I enjoy), instead of watching more, I knew I had to get caught up on my blog. I knew I had to follow up with a couple of important people and reach out to them online. I knew I wanted to get my day started running some errands that need to be done. All of this instead of competing with watching others (tv) go after their dreams and goals.

It takes a little reminder like I got from Coach R, to get my head focused on where it needs to be and to start taking action in the areas that I need to. So, as I head off to start my day - I want you to take a look at the quote above and see where you are competing at - or who are you competing with. The TV? Friends? Your job? What could you do right now to where you are doing something you know you need to do and to have others wonder about the great things you are doing. :-)

Commit & Figure It Out

8/26/2018

Amazing the thoughts and ideas that come to you when you choosing to put good stuff into your head. That's a key in life I've been finding lately. I get to choose what goes into my mind, thereby choosing the items I know that will have an influence on me. John O'Leary's podcasts help me in so many ways. I first connected to his book "On Fire" and now I'm hooked on his podcasts. His latest one got me fired up about a few things - find it HERE and listen to it - It got me going and I hope it at least gets you thinking too. There are so many things I need to commit to - It's about time I do those things. How about you?

One thing that I have really seen a difference in my life is the simple fact that I'm reading more. It is amazing to hear that so many people mention that throughout their lives on the importance of reading. I am finding how much of a key it is. Try it. You might like it. It's helping me to stay focused (which I need a lot of help with) and with that I'm able to commit and focus more on the things that I need to do. Thanks for listening and checking out my podcast too - find this episode HERE. Please take a few moments to subscribe & share this with someone, also leave a 5 Star rating on ITunes or other services where you find this show. Find me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/coachtoexpectsuccess/ on Twitter: @coachtosuccess and on Instagram at: @coachjohndaly

It's All About FOCUS!

6/12/2017

“Our eyes only see and our ears only hear what our brain is looking for.” —Dan Sullivan

This past basketball season I shared a thought that I read about with our team. In a conversation with Bill Gates and Warren Buffet, I read that the one word that was most important for success of any kind was FOCUS.

It has always been a problem area for me (heck, as I write this I was doing 3 other things as this came to my head that I had to get it done.) LOL… I figured I would focus on getting these thoughts out there and then go back to finish up the other things. I’ve jumped to other things in the middle of these thoughts – it’s obvious that I need to work on this for sure.

Our coaching staff would constantly bring this fact up about our team – most teams – tends to lose their focus during a game. This article, this idea I brought up to our team part way during the season. It helped a little it, but I know that I need to develop some things that our girls can start working on this and other “mind drills” during the off-season for us to be using them all year long.   The great thing about this is that I get to use it too and I know I need it probably more than my team does. ;-)

I went to Cincinnati this past couple of days for an event put on by Sam Crowley. It was FANTASTIC! I heard this thought from the presenters – the importance of our mindset being a main piece of whatever success we want to have in our lives. I listened to a podcast – twice and I’ll listen again a couple of times too – all from Brian Buffini on the importance of a made-up mind!   It’s obvious that this is something that not only I need to work on but we all do. The examples and evidence are out there – with so many of them available for us to learn from.

What we focus on, what we spend our time thinking about, what we put into our minds – all of it affects every single thing we do in our lives.   One of the many problems is that there is so much information out there coming at us through our eyes and into our ears, that our brains are overloaded for sure. That’s where when we realize that we have a say as to what information goes into our heads – we can start choosing what we let into our brains.

Since we don’t have all the time in the world – or at least as much as we think we do, working on this skill of focusing on what we let into our heads is something we all need to work on as soon as we can. For me, that time is now.    I’ve said that so many times during my life, now it’s again time for me to do something about it.    I have figured out a long time ago that things like this that I share with my students and basketball players – I need to follow them too. What about you?

Today Is Slipping By - Who Is Noticing?

2/21/2017

“We are so involved in yesterday and tomorrow that we never even notice that today is slipping by.” – Jim Rohn

I’ve heard this over and over again lately from so many different people – time is just flying by. People can’t believe how fast time is going by. I have the same opinion too. I am totally amazed that I have turned 51 last week. In many ways I feel older (arthritis, recent surgeries I’ve had, my eyesight is changing on my big time, etc.) Then in other ways I am amazed that I am this old since I still love what I do, I have energy for teaching and coaching basketball, enjoy getting up every morning, and I feel energized with new ideas and new things I’d like to accomplish and go after in my life.

Brian Buffini, whose podcast I really enjoy listening to, has said that the days are long and the years are short. Meaning past years always are hard to remember the details of them, I think since they are full of 365 days in each one. While it sometimes seems that the day we are in the middle of, is really long at times while we are in the middle of it. I can’t tell you how often I have thought about this line along with sharing it with others and they totally agree with the fact that he is right on target with this statement.

This idea from Brian ties in to this thought from Jim Rohn too. We are scattered in our thoughts every day and we are not focused on the present; which is really the only thing we can actually do anything about. If you are like me it seems at times that we have so much going on to where it is difficult to focus on one thing at a time to put some good effort into it and accomplishing it and then moving onto something else.

I have recently found another article about Bill Gates and Warren Buffet agreeing that the most important word that contributed towards their success is FOCUS! It really does tie into this statement and it ties into me personally to zero in on this even more and implement it into my life more. My wife has often reminded me (nicely of course) that I have some areas to improve on with Focus. Being the smart guy that I am, I agree with her. (it’s taken many years to agree with her, but I do). Now I see myself actually doing things to try and improve this skill of mine as I do need to notice that today is all I have to do things, to be with the people I want to be with, etc. How about you? What do these thoughts mean to you? I tell my students all the time – the sooner you can connect to ideas like this, the better your life will be.

Fighting Against Something vs. Fighting For Something - There Is A HUGE Difference

11/4/2016

"Fight against something and we focus on the thing we hate. Fight for something and we focus on the thing we love." - Simon Sinek

Let this thought sink in for just a few moments. I think Simon is right on target. I’ve thought about this and I remember plenty of times that I would fight against something and I still remember those feelings that I had during those moments, and they weren’t good. I can still feel the cloudy feeling in my head, feeling the anger & negativity inside of me during these moments. You know what? Most of the time during these moments, things would not work out too well in the end.

Now, flip it around. There have been plenty of moments (not enough of them, now that I think about it), where I remember fighting for something and those thoughts and feelings were totally opposite of when I was fighting against something. I had more power, more of a feeling of not wanting to quit, felt more inspired and many times the results would be a lot better in these moments. When it’s for the people in my life that I care about, now that is where some power is found for sure.

Just imagine this simple change in how we go after things in life. I think about how when I make the conscious choice to fight for (get worked up about, have it on my mind, etc.) something that means something to me; compared to those things that I don’t really care about. Those things at least I won’t let them affect me, getting me all upset. (that is easier said than done). I’ll still deal with or work on things that are necessary to do, but I’ll have a much better attitude about it when I won’t let it affect me. I’m choosier now about things and how they take up my time, how they affect me, my family, and how I spend time on them which takes me away from other things.

Focusing on something and how much I hate it, doesn’t really equal much positive success. The thing might get done, but at what cost? That cost could be to my health, other things not getting my thoughts or my time, the people that I can’t connect with or help, etc.

When you take a deeper look at this quote, what comes up for you? It might start making a difference in your life in how you deal with things. It did for me. Now remember, I don't have it all figured out. That's proven every day. But I am working on it. We all should.

Ask Yourself What Is Really Important - Build Your Life Towards That

7/12/2015

“Ask yourself what is really important, and then have the wisdom and courage to build your life around your answer.” – Wright Thurston

When I saw this quote on Twitter, it obviously caught my eye since this is something that I believe in and try to promote. The reason I hung onto it and read it again and then saved it was that I was reminded about how true this is in my life with a little discussion my wife and I had this weekend.

We were talking to each other about frustrations that we have been having with each other along with other things, and within the discussion it hit me (again, since we have had similar discussions before) that she is not only right on the majority of what we were talking about, but also our discussion got me thinking about how much work I still need to do on myself. At 49 years old, yep, I don’t have it all figured out and I still have lessons to learn. The old saying popped into my head about lessons being repeated, until lessons are learned.

This point about always learning hit me too as I saw a former student post something about how she thought she would have things figured out a little more at age 19 and that didn’t happen. Now at age 23, she also thought she would have more figured out, accomplished a little more, be in a certain place in her life. But she went onto saying something about how that’s not really the case as she is currently having trouble cooking noodles or something like that. She sounded like she was reflecting on the fact that she was still ok, that she’s not the only one that has thought and gone through this, and that she will continue to work at figuring things out in her life.

That point hit me as I too am still working on me. With the help of my wife and others, that is something I know I need to do a better job at. Instead of casting blame elsewhere as I often have done and not putting the action steps into place that are necessary to help make some of those changes, I have yet another reminder for myself to get back into and stay in this game of getting better.

As I have my 2nd cup of coffee going down here on a Sunday morning, this reflective time that I look to find every weekend is so crucial to me. With writing this blog, doing my podcasts, learning about new ways of communicating with people along with thinking about my week ahead of things I want to get done or simply get started; I know I need to continue to not only find this reflective time but then to actually go out and do the things that I reflect upon.

This quote above should be something that we all can focus on for sure. What are the things you are building your life around? Find some time and take that time to really connect to what this is for you. The coffee might help too.