Category: Thoughts - Coach to Expect Success

What Are We Thinking?

5/30/2019

I recently shared this image with my students for one of our weekly blog posts and a few of the responses that have been turned in so far, have gotten me thinking a little bit more about this. Our thoughts really are powerful, and sometimes that power might be causing us more problems than it does to help us. When we have thoughts running through our head - or at least mine - I find myself either being more inspired for the task that I am doing at the time or I'm too busy thinking about something else. With my lack of concentration for the task at hand, I find myself thinking about something else and then at times, stopping the current thing and moving onto something else just because the thought came into my head.

Now knowing that I do that at times - does help so I can stop myself more often to get back on track. Another thing I'm trying is to write a note down quickly about the thought / idea, and come back to it after I finish my current task. This really does affect how I am feeling - mainly about myself, but about life in general. When I'm fired up, feeling good about myself, my life, what I'm doing, etc., it for sure affects how I am acting at the current moment. Too many times when I'm not in a good frame of mind, my actions & words sometime come out in a very harsh way and sad to say, it's mostly at home when that happens.

This concept is very powerful as by reading some student posts and thinking about this post that I'm writing here, I can see how important it is for me to have control over my thoughts, beliefs, feelings and actions. Any moment that any of these are out of whack, I know that I can make an adjustment, just a little change (mostly it's my attitude & effort) that I can fix a little bit and great things seem to happen after that adjustment. It's funny, this point about taking control of our lives, especially our thinking, it's been said that life gets a lot easier when we do this. The things that we cut out that waste our time, make us feel down and to doubt ourselves, the people that are in our lives that whenever we walk away from a conversation with them - we are feeling worse than we did before??? Those are the things we have to fix. Taking responsibility for what goes into our heads, taking control of our thoughts, beliefs, feelings, and actions; it's so powerful (not easy) to do! I'm seeing some BIG TIME results and I want to do more of this. How about you?

Our Choices Affect So Many People And Things In Life... Quote of the Week!

10/29/2014

“It is our choices, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” -- J.K Rowling

We all have many abilities to do so many different things in life, but when it really comes down to it, it’s our choices that make us who we are. J.K. Rowling was right on with this thought.

Just think about it. How many times we have to make a choice throughout each day of our lives. There are the choices of what we think about things. So many times, the thousands and thousands of thoughts that come into our heads that we have to actually choose a response or another thought.

One of the other things that we have to think about and choose something is with our words. In communication with others, we have to quickly think about verbal responses. Those we have to be careful with to make sure they are the right ones, that they are understood and not something that will cause more problems.

Usually our choices of our thoughts and words will lead us to our actions, and that is what we really get judged by more than anything. We may have all the abilities in the world to do great things, but if we don’t indeed DO THEM, it doesn’t matter if we have the ability or not. I think one important item for me is that I’m figuring out the things that I truly want to spend time doing. Now the item for me to do, is to start doing those things. It’s something we all have to figure out. It’s something that is so very important because it’s not just us that are affected. It’s everyone around us. Now obviously those that are closer to us are affected a lot more than the casual acquaintances we come across on some days.

Another thing that popped into my head about this was due to so many recent events around the world. I really think that the world needs everyone to use their abilities along with their choices for making things better. So many examples of bad things, heck, down-right evil things going on around the world and it’s becoming very apparent to me that each and every one of us need to do our best at everything we do along with doing those things in the right way. Thereby, we can be setting examples for others about doing things the right way and having something to combat those bad and evil things going on around us. In everyday situations, our choices and actions do indeed affect others and if we realize this, we can make better choices and do things better knowing that they do affect others.

I want to expand this thought a little bit and I may do just that in the near future. Help me out by leaving some thoughts and ideas of your own. Thanks.

Don't Limit Yourself, A Few Tips - Quote Of The Week

8/25/2014

"Don't limit yourself. Many people limit themselves to what they think they can do. You can go as far as your mind lets you. What you believe, remember, you can achieve." -- Mary Kay Ash

It is totally true that the most valuable 6 inches of space is right between your ears. When people learn to control their minds, control what goes in and out of their brain, that is when great things can happen. I’m still constantly working on this fact. I hope you are always working on it too.

It’s also true that our biggest critic that we will usually ever have to deal with is ourselves. As I tell my students each and every year at the start of every class I teach, we are with ourselves 24/7. We can’t get away from ourselves since every night before we go to bed, during our time of sleep and first thing in the morning, there we are again. We might be able to fool others, but when you think about it, we certainly cannot fool ourselves. We know when we do something wrong - others might not know about it, but we do. Our limiting thoughts and beliefs that we put on ourselves are far worse than what others can put on us. Now, what others say and do sometimes does add to our own negative thinking about ourselves, that’s why it is vitally important to guard the relationships around us.

So one of our most important things we must always look to do, and for me it’s something I constantly have to remind myself to do; is to always work on our thinking. We need to control as much as we can as to what goes into our minds. There are way too many people and things out there that would be glad to control us for their agenda. If we don’t control our own minds and our own lives, we will have them controlled by someone or something else for sure. Then we wonder why life get’s so hard and difficult to do things we think we want to do.

Look at what you reading or are you even reading at all? There are so many factual connections out there in the world that show massive positive results for being a reader. Leaders are readers is the old saying. Successful people in all walks of life are many times very avid readers. Try it and see the changes that will start to appear. I know I need to monitor more of my time spent watching TV instead of working on the thoughts and ideas that I have. I also need to be listening to more positive motivational content through audio books, podcasts, etc.

So what are some thing you do to help you think more positively about your life and yourself? Any success stories out there about some examples of things changing for you or others that you have witnessed when taking this process on? Always feel free to let me know your thoughts and ideas as I certainly don’t have all the answers and I’m always looking to learn new things that can help me to help myself and others.

Challenges Make Life Interesting - Quote of the Week

7/14/2014

“Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful” – Joshua J. Marine

Thinking about how challenges are all around us all the time throughout life caused me to stop for a moment when I saw this quote. We all have challenges that we are dealing with. Each and every day. We see life challenges in the news, on social media, talking with friends and neighbors; enough to know that we are not alone when it comes to having challenges to deal with.

In pausing life here for a moment thinking about this idea, with a cup of coffee too by the way, I have come to a couple of main thoughts that stick out to me. First, I am indeed not the only one with problems and challenges. In fact not only do we all have them every day in our lives, some obviously are far worse than what we have to deal with. The thought that others do have it worse off than I do helps me to see that I need to not complain about my challenges and that I need to not let them define me along with not letting me quit due to those issues that I have.

Another thought that comes to me when I think about this is that there is tremendous empathy and caring for others that comes out of taking a few moments to dwell on these thoughts. Empathy is a point that I try and get my students to think about every year as I think it's one of the most powerful abilities that we have in connecting with other people. It's one that we all need to do more of in this world especially with all the lousy examples we see in the media about the selfishness and lack of character that seems to be all around us in our world.

These two ideas are really helping me as I face another of many challenges in my life as I go in for knee replacement surgery tomorrow. It truly has been a long and painful process over the last few years of trying to do everything I could to help my knee pain. It has finally come down to the fact that the severe arthritis that I have started to battle now in my life has caused me to make some choices to get back my quality of life that I want to have. I look forward to this process because I know at the end of it will be a life with less pain and my ability to do things I love to do. I know there will be more procedures that I will need to have done in the future due to these changes in my body as I get older. But I know there are so many people worse off than me, I will not let this stop me from doing the things that I know I need to do along with the new things I want to do in my life. There are so many more meaningful moments in my life that going through this and other upcoming challenges, will make them all the more sweeter.

What challenges are you going through right now where maybe you can take these couple of ideas to help you get through them and look ahead for better days? Let me know as we can help each other out with some new thoughts, ideas and discussions about this and many other life events that we all go through.

Quote of the Week - May 19, 2014

5/19/2014

"Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny."

~ Author Unknown

As our seniors finish up their year this week, I saw this quote and it fit perfectly. it's obvious a great quote for them as the graduate soon and get on with their adult lives, but it's also a great reminder for the rest of us that have already graduated along with those that have not finished up school. In fact, this quote has come up a couple of times in our Principles of Leadership class this term. We have heard it from a couple of our guest speakers in the past few weeks.

This should get us thinking along with reminding us that the sooner we start working on these items in our life, the more of a difference we can make not only with our own life but in the lives of others too. It gives us something to focus on everyday. As we get older, the thoughts of not only our destiny come more into our minds, but also that of our legacy. What will we be leaving behind once we are gone? What were we really all about?

This also gets me thinking and I hope it does for you too, that we can go after anything we want in life if we just take these ideas to heart. It's very difficult to watch and control our thinking - but it's worth it. The 6 inches between our ears should be the most guarded area in the world to us, but usually it's not. We need to keep in mind what enters our mind. (funny, but true). The words we think and then speak, they are very powerful. They can be uplifting for ourselves and others; but they can also cause pain too if we are not careful.

The actions that follow our words are something too that we must keep an eye on. I know I've been trying very hard on this one, not always successful, but always trying to improve my actions following my words. The battle that I think we are all on, I know this is very true for me, is dealing with our habits. Habits are things that we need to constantly look at and work on. They do become what we are all about and since habits are tough to break, I think we need to focus on making those habits good ones since they do become our character and who we are. This leads obviously to our destiny. In other words what we spend our short time here on earth doing, being, thinking, and showing others - does become our destiny.

So as our seniors graduate this spring, they will probably find out soon enough that this is something that will take the rest of their lives to work on. Along with the fact that "school" is usually never over as life is the biggest school of all. We constantly learn, fail, get up, fix things, get better hopefully, and keep going. The key is to remember this quote often so that it can continue to be something we work on every day. What would be your message to yourself, your fellow graduates, or maybe it's the advice that we could give to graduates in general? What would it be?

Quote of the Week - May 5, 2014

5/5/2014

"Remember no one can make you feel inferior without your consent." - Eleanor Roosevelt

This one has come into play with a few guest speakers & presentations lately. It's one of those things especially to pay attention to about others. As we get older, the critics seem to come out of everywhere to knock us out of going after our dreams and goals. But maybe there is another view to take at this quote.

The other side to this is that we also have to not give ourselves permission in making ourselves feel bad. We are our own worse enemy so many times throughout our lives. That self-talk comes to mind. It's something that we need to constantly be aware of and actively working hard to deal with. If we consciously look at what is going into our heads along with catch ourselves when we start going negative on ourselves; just watch the changes that can happen in our lives. Another cool thing will happen - others will notice too. Some will embrace and cheer you on. Others will wonder what happened to you. They will say that you have changed and where is the "old" you hiding at?? When that happens.. you know you are doing a great thing. When others notice and wonder why you are different than you used to be.... that is a very good thing.

So who can you work on to not let them get inside your head? It's all about having some confidence, faith and enthusiasm for having a very positive life. This also included watching how you think too. Keep it positive. Find good things to focus on and find good things to put into your mind. Books, Audios, Podcasts, etc. Let me know what tips you have for doing this - I can use some new ideas.

Quote of the Week - March 3, 2014

3/3/2014

"Never give up, great things take time." - Brian Tracy

Seeing this quote today from a posting that Brian Tracy the author put out, sure got me thinking. I've sure made a conscious decision as I have gotten older to try more not to give up on things as much as I did when I was younger. It became an easy habit that I got into in my younger days, that's for sure. But it also reminded me about the old saying - "discipline weighs ounces, regret weighs tons!" The regrets that I have had from my life hurt far more than the time it would have taken way back then to follow through on those items. I promise, it will be that way for you too. Those things that have been recently on my mind, and by recent I mean the last 15 or 20 years; I guess are taking awhile to get done due to the fact that I am beginning to realize how important they really are. (there are plenty of things way back before 20 years ago too)

As I listen, study, and learn from others that are on their journey of growing and getting better over time, I am starting to see how true this quote really is. Not giving up is really more than half the battle. Persistence is huge! Other parts are learning about yourself, improving and learning all the time, putting other people first by helping them where you can, loving people where they are at, and just not stopping - always moving forward in your quest for doing great things.

The key is to also realize that yes... great things take time. They really do. But, there really is not a lot of time to do these great things. We always think there is plenty of time and we (I do this for sure) always seem to spend so much of it and wasting it on things that really don't matter at all. On your travels in life, there comes a time to ask yourself if what I'm doing - what I'm spending my time on - is it taking me closer to those things I want in life - those things that I want to accomplish? Or are those things taking me further away from my goals and dreams?

Leave me your thoughts - they really do help. Those thoughts, ideas, statements, etc., really help me out in moving forward for me and others. Plus - and even more important - they help you too. By getting some of your ideas and thoughts written (posted for that matter), they force you to take ownership of them (to think about them) and for the most part - maybe those statements might make you feel a little uncomfortable to where you want to do something about some things in your life?? Maybe... they could do that. Hmmmm???

Quote of the Week - December 9, 2013

12/9/2013

“There is no passion to be found playing small-in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.” – Nelson Mandela

This quote's main idea about not playing small in life, I've spoken about before. It serves nobody when we play small in life. When we choose to not be the best we can be, not living our life the best that we can; we really are hurting ourselves obviously but we are also affecting others around us too.

This past week the world lost one of the biggest difference makers that mankind has ever seen. When I saw this quote from Nelson Mandela, it struck me as one that I had to use this week. Here was a man who not only made it through some of the harshest times anyone has ever survived (being in prison for 27 years), but then came out not angry or bitter, but he came out more inspired to change things for the better. It makes me wonder how each of us can work to make positive changes in our lives and in the lives of others, without being in prison. But if we think about it, maybe some (or most) of us are already in "prison".

Nelson Mandela also answered a question after he got out of prison - the question wondered why he was not angry and bitter at his captors. He said (and I'm paraphrasing here) if he chose to be that way - than he would have been in a far worse prison the rest of his life. It totally makes sense to me. Our choices and how we respond to things along with the way we think, can literally put us in our own "prison" which keeps us from doing great things in our life. It forces us to play small in life. Nelson Mandela lived 95 years, 27 of those were in a physical prison under harsh conditions. How many of us lives in a different type of prison and how many years has that forced us to play small in life? Looking back, I've been stuck there for too many of my 47 years, that's for sure. As I sit here with my cup of coffee thinking about the meanings behind Mr. Mandela's words - I have figured out that we all hold the key to open up the door to our prison and walk out so we can start playing BIG in life so we can make a difference in our life and more importantly, in the lives of others.

It would be great to hear some thoughts and ideas - especially from younger people that may have not really known what Nelson Mandela was all about. Maybe over the last few days since his death, it's made you want to find out more about the man and what he was about. As always - let me and others know your thoughts and your ideas.

Quote of the Week - November 4, 2013

11/6/2013

“No one limits your growth but you. If you want to earn more, learn more.” -- Tom Hopkins

In today's world where it seems many people want to blame others for their problems, Tom Hopkins brings up a great thought about one thing that we totally have control over. Our ability to choose to learn more can make all the difference in the world for not only ourselves but everyone that is around us too.

We tend to get in the way of ourselves a lot when it comes time to accomplishing things and growing in life; at least I know I do for sure. This whole mindset about we really do have control over so many things in our lives simply by the way we choose things and our ability to think and control our own minds - it's amazing when we really stop and think about it.

I've been listening to a lot of Napoleon Hill lately - by the way which I recommend getting some of his books and audio recordings that are out there for everyone. It is one of his central teaching points that we should work to have control over our own minds and the way we think because that connects to everything we do in our lives. We should look to learn everyday about things that interest us along with those new ideas and ways of thinking that can help us help others. Being a life-long learner is the way to go as I've figured out the learning never stops. As we get into the busy holiday season coming up - I will be trying to remember the fact that I need to continue to learn more, grow, get better and keep moving forward towards dreams and goals that I have along with helping those around me do the same. I don't want to get all caught up in blaming others for my lot in life.

Remember, earning is not just about money. It's about earning more relationships in life, earning more peace of mind, earning more positive energy, etc. What are your thoughts? Any to share with me and the world? I'm always looking to learn more from others as I know I don't know everything other than I know I need to be open to learning more to keep getting better and better in all I do.

Quote of the Week - September 23, 2013

9/23/2013

“Be the change that you wish to see in the world.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi

This is a quote that I had posted onto my old computer monitor at school for years. Seeing this again, I know that I need to put it on my new monitor too. This is such a great reminder for us that if we want to change things in our world, we need to change ourselves. If we want more happiness in our lives, we can't depend on others to give it to us, we need to create it ourselves. If we want someone to listen to us more, listen to them more. I've heard it over and and over again; be the example of what you want more of in your life.

While mowing the lawn yesterday I was listening to "QBQ" - The Question Behind the Question by John Miller. In his great audio reading of his book, he covered the same point. So many times the lack of personal responsibility is evident everywhere we go, and many times it's right in the mirror for me. Gandhi had it right on target with this thought. If we want more peace in the world, be more peaceful to ourselves and those around us. Dr. Wayne Dyer brings up the same idea in that whatever we focus on, that's what our world is made up of. Whatever we focus on, think about all the time - that becomes our reality.

I know that I need to really focus on this thought and I need to start being the change I want to see in my world. It's not going to happen any other way. You know what? It starts today. Monday is always a good day to take a different approach to our world. Scrolling through some postings yesterday, this jumped right out at me. Like I said, I've heard it before. That brings up another good thought for all of us: Lesson repeated until lesson learned. I guess there is a reason why I am hearing it so many times. Is this the first time you have heard it? How can you be the change in your world? Let me know. I bet it's a great example to help so many others.