Category: Learning - Coach to Expect Success

What We Focus On Grows

7/21/2022

Amazing thought here that I got from John O'Leary and Matt Miller from a coaching session a couple of days ago - What You Focus On, Grows! I'm finally figuring out this important fact and I'm hopefully sharing it with some ideas and connections that you need to hear & think about too. Check out my podcast about this HERE.

I've known about this for many years - why I have not put more "stock" into this?? I guess I'm realizing how much of a slow learner I am. But, I am realizing how important it is to focus in on things that I want to choose instead of letting things happen to me where I don't have control. Sam Crowley says it all the time - "Where focus goes, energy flows!" I'm catching myself more often when I start going down a negative rabbit hole & I'm working on stopping myself from going further along with figuring why I'm going there and what the lessons are that I need to learn from that "detour." There is never to late of a time to pick up "new" skills like this. I'm also figuring out how important it is to have little victories in my life - every day that I can do little things, the right way, is one way to build a better life.

7 Tips for Developing Your Personal Philosophy

4/9/2018

What a FANTASTIC article I found in Success magazine - Click HERE for the article link.

The 7 Tips I found in this article ... heck.. they were even numbered for me so that there was no reason for me missing them... were things that I needed to see on a Monday morning coming back to school after our Spring Break.

First of #1 - Set Your Sail - The author mentions that "the winds of circumstances blow upon all of us" - and it all depends on our thinking, our personal mindset , how we respond to those changing winds -- all of those are how we can succeed where so many struggle. I know for a fact that I need to work on this BIG TIME!!

#2 - Learn from success and failure -- Remember, our personal experience is our best teacher... just as our past is our best mentor. We can also learn from others too - remember that success leaves clues. :-) I always need to remind myself that I need to have a clue in order to pick up the many clues that Success (and failures) leave all around us. ;-)

#3 - Read All You Can -- Books have always been, in my opinion, a cornerstone of success. There are far too many examples to not on how successful people have had reading being a part of that success. It's part of the clues that success leaves - other people sharing information that helped them in some way, shape or form by giving instruction, advice, inspiration, motivation, lessons, etc. I know I need to read more - how about you?

#4 - Keep a journal -- Now I did this ... the key word is DID... and I did not keep up with that. I had a gratitude journal going for a little bit - 9 months to a year maybe?? I know for a fact that I need to get going on that again and soon!!

#5 - Observe and Listen -- WOW... a reminder that I need for sure, since I know how important it is to do these but yet I struggle doing them. I love how this article brought up the points about who have surrounding ourselves and to not "... waste your time on the silly and the shallow." We do get a choice as to who we let influence us. ;-)

#6 - Be Disciplined -- Yep.... another eye-opening reminder for myself here. This is HUGE!! The old saying goes - "Discipline weighs ounces, regrets weighs tons." Putting some discipline in my life - especially when I was younger - could have paid off so much if I had done it. :-) But you know what, I can do it now!! :-)

#7 - Don't Neglect -- All the little things are so important because they lead to bigger things - ALL THROUGHOUT LIFE. Our health, our finances, our relationships, etc. The other 6 points are all part of not neglecting those things in our lives. I know I have to work on all of them for sure and the more I work on them, the better I know I will be.

Challenges Offer Learning Opportunities

1/9/2017

"If it doesn't challenge you, it won't change you." – Unknown

One thing I really look back on in my life was that I got this message and took it to heart. Today, as a guy over 50, I have no problem what so ever taking this to heart since I’ve been through enough of life that I can the value and truth to this statement. The funny thing is, I’ve had plenty of people telling me that when I was younger and of course I didn’t really listen to them. Equally as comical is the fact that I give this same message to my 2 kids along with my students and basketball players. I hope they listen better than I did.

I’ve seen more challenges as I’ve gotten older along with most of those challenges being a lot more serious and heavy duty than most of the ones that I had when I was younger. When I was younger I thought those challenges were serious of course at that time, only to learn that you do what you can and get help if you need it and then time moves on, and just about all those challenges are a distant memory as I got older.

What I know now is that those times when those things come up in life are meant to test us. They are meant to give us some of the most valuable lessons we will ever learn throughout our lifetime. That’s if we look at that way while being in the middle of those problems and issues. That’s the challenging part. It’s really easy to look back on memories to think about them or at least try and remember them for the lessons that were there. I think it’s a hundred times more valuable if we can look for the lessons while we are in the middle of the lesson.

Also remember, we learn from many different sources. Other people telling us about their stories of their ups and downs – and the lessons they learned. Even watching others go through things without them telling us about them. We learn from reading books, listening to podcasts, seeing current events going on around us, etc. The most valuable of them all – those things that we go through ourselves! We are the best source of learning for our own lives since we are in the title role playing ourselves in our own story.

One Thing For Sure - Learning Never Stops

4/16/2016

"I learned about the strength you can get from a close family life. I learned to keep going, even in bad times. I learned not to despair, even when my world was falling apart. I learned that there are no free lunches. And I learned the value of hard work." — Lee Iacocca

One thing I know for sure is that learning never stops. At least it shouldn’t stop if we know what’s good for us. This weekend I learned about strength in family. I have a very good friend that lost his wife to cancer. I’ve seen these losses before for others and it always has lessons for me and for others to learn from and for the most part I’ve learned many but honestly I could say maybe I’ve lost a few of them over the years. Not proud of it, but it’s probably true.

This one hurt too, just like the others and just like the deaths of a loved one that you have suffered too. Finding out part of the back story in that my friend, who I’ve known since 1st grade along with him being the best man in my wedding too; how he’s handled this over the last year and a half or so – simply amazing!

These lessons have pushed me into a little bit more action than previous lessons. I guess all the previous lessons along with this one and for sure the ones that are to come in the future, could all be put into a book. That book should be drawn on often, if not every day. It comes down to this – these lessons should help us to live a better life each and every day! What we say and do. How we treat others. Things that we shouldn’t waste our time on and things we do need to spend our time on. The list can go on a lot longer too.

Part of this idea above from Lee Iacocca is the value of hard work. Things that have been decided that are worth it (and that is different for everyone) are usually things that will take some hard work to make them happen. For the most part, things that come easy may not be really worth it in the end. Through all the ups and downs in life, the heartbreak and the moments of happiness and enjoyment, there has to be some solid effort that is put into our equation of life. Not much if anything comes free to us. It has to be earned for sure.

Another part is the not quitting, not giving up! Having to have faith in our situations, ourselves, our loved ones, and for the most part faith in something bigger than ourselves. It helps so much to have our lives going in a direction towards things that we are passionate about, so that when the tough times hit (and they always do), we can find our way through the storms in order to keep going and not quit.

The lessons I’ve learned this past week or so are powerful. But like I said, so are the other ones that I’ve learned in the past. Now, maybe they are all coming together. Maybe now I have enough of a “reason why” to do some things differently and make some changes that I’ve been dabbling with for years. What lessons have you learned lately from life? Any time you want to share them – please do for I know they will help me along with they will help others too.

Our Biggest Obstacle Is Ourselves

10/31/2015

“No one limits your growth but you. If you want to earn more, learn more.” -- Tom Hopkins

Today, there is so much information out there to learn about, that it’s really overwhelming. But the truth is that there is more ways of learning new ideas and skills today than ever before. It really comes down to us and whether we want to learn new things in order to become more valuable.

We are usually the ones that get in our own way in life more than others. No one limits our own growth but us. I just saw the quote about the biggest obstacle we have to overcome is the six inches between our ears, which rings with more truth every time I see it. That’s one for the ages for sure, meaning the younger we realize this is truth, the better our lives will be.

I am constantly sharing with my students and my own kids, to become a person of value throughout life. Become valuable to others and you will always have opportunities for things that will help you make a living and to build a life. Remember, do you want to just make a living? Or do you want to build a life of significance and meaning?

In today’s world there seems to be much more of the blame game going on when it comes time to point out who’s at fault for the problems and difficulties in our lives. There is some truth of course that some people’s choices and decisions, do indeed affect us. A very important thought though is that we do not have to continue to let that happen. We do have the power and ability to learn new things and skills that can make us not have to just accept what those other people do and let it affect us and our futures.

This goes a long as a big connector piece to another (of many) big themes of mine. Find things in life that you have passion for and follow them. Whatever we choose to make a living at, make sure your heart is part of the equation as to why you are doing it. This will give a lot more ways of learning more when it comes to making yourself more valuable. Always remember that creating a life of significance is something that may not be easy, but worthwhile things throughout life seldom are easy. If they were easy, everyone would be doing them.

So, as we find ourselves at the end of October, 2015; what are some ways that you can expand your ability to grow and become more valuable? Don’t wait until New Years to make some changes, find some things now.

Always Look To Learn - You Don't Know It All!

4/12/2015

“Don't be too proud to take a lesson. I'm not.” ~ Jack Nicklaus

As I sit here on my traditional Saturday morning with my coffee and getting some work done I was drawn to this thought from the great golfer Jack Nicklaus. Now first of all, Mr. Nicklaus is not only a great golfer, in my opinion he’s an even great human being. His love for people is very evident any time you listen to him along with his great respect for the game of golf.

To read and think about his point about him not being too proud to take a lesson, brings up the reminder for all of us. He’s not really even talking about golf – he’s talking about life. He has been a life-long learner about life, about people, about business, and yes about golf too.

This also connected to me as I’ve been focusing on taking “lessons” recently. My lessons have consisted from learning from others. Recently Lauren Hill (college basketball player who had been diagnosed with brain cancer and went out and made A HUGE DIFFERENCE with sharing her message, raising over a million dollars for cancer research, etc. – well, she passed away this week). I posted online about when I heard the news, I was moved to tears. I just sat there for a few moments and cried when I heard the news and I remember crying when I first heard about her story. It got me thinking about all that she was accomplishing while going through her battle with cancer, and here I am struggling at times doing what I have to do. Her lesson of making a difference during her struggles has re-inspired me to do more of making a difference with others in my life, and doing it right now – not waiting anymore.

Sam Crowley of everydayissaturday.com has connected with me for years from his book, his podcasts, his message of hope and getting up off my butt to actually do something towards accomplishing my goals- he too has taught me many lessons. His story of what him, his wife and his family have been going through with their daughter Susan – born at just 24 weeks and all the roller-coaster moments of all that they had to go through, and still are going through.

I got to spend some time with my parents recently going out to their house and spending the night. Just sitting and talking with them, listening to them, sharing meals with them, etc., tons of lessons for me to learn from. We spoke about my cousin Dave who recently passed away last fall – all the lessons from him and that experience. I told my mom that I think about him often. She said we all do. I also drove through my old neighborhood. All the great memories came flooding back to me. All the friends I grew up with. The heart-aches and the good times we had. You know what – there were tons of lessons there too. The lessons from my past that has affected my todays. I try not to dwell on those memories, but I do use them to inspire me for today and my future. I’ve heard it before and I’ll share it always; don’t ever forget where you came from.

When it comes down to it – be a learner, be a student. Don’t you dare think that you don’t need to learn new things. Don’t ever think that you know everything, that you have arrived, that you don’t need others to help you, we all need others in our lives. So as the sun comes through my doorwall here, I am reminded that today is a new beginning where I will learn new things and new lessons. It’s up to me to apply those lessons to get better and do more. What will you do with the lessons you get to learn from today?

Failures Are Not Fatal, Unless We Fail To Change - Quote Of The Week!

3/15/2015

“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.” John Wooden

It seems this thought, like many others, have been hovering around me in many different ways over the last few months. Looking back it probably started while I was home recovering and I had a little more time to do some thinking along with having time to notice a few things more than I normally get the opportunity to do.

There have been many failures in my life and I have finally begun to look at them with more of a studying type of look and learning from it, instead of being a victim or blaming others. I’ve had glimpses of this better type of thinking throughout my life, now it just seems to be happening more frequently as I get older.

I’m noticing things changing a lot more too. With both of our kids off at college, there is more time for my wife and I to do things together along with time to do things ourselves too. Both of our parents are getting older and all the issues that seem to come with age are starting to happen with it too. Speaking of age, my wife and I are getting older too of course. There are things that we have to make changes in so many areas of our lives right now.

That goes for all of us. No matter what age we are at, learning from failures that happen (and they happen a lot in life), are necessary for success. The idea of not changing when times dictate that we need to do that, those can be disastrous.

I look around and I see plenty of people that refuse to change. They wear it as a badge of courage for not changing. They either think they know everything and they don’t have to change. Some think they need to show how tough they are and that they can do things on their own without any help from others. This might be the most fatal failure of all – where people don’t think they have to change. I think if you’re not changing, you are actually on your way to getting worse. That’s one thing I don’t ever want to do – I’m looking to always get better. How about you?

Can't Change The Past, But We Sure Can Learn Some Things... Quote of The Week

2/21/2015

“You can’t change the past, but you can learn and start it again.” - - Wilson Kanadi

The past can still have a big affect on each of us, since each of us does indeed have a past. This past that we have gone through has a lot of examples for us to either get better in our present and future; or to struggle and have problems.

We all should be able to agree upon the fact that we cannot change our past. Hopefully we all can agree on the fact that we can and should learn from it. It’s a totally different story for us to do just that. Honestly, this has been a struggle for me throughout my lifetime and I am still finding myself working hard to learning lessons that have not only happened to me, but have been repeated many times. The old saying ‘lessons repeated until lessons learned’ would be one that fits me for sure.

One of the many things that stuck out to me with this is the last part about starting again. It hit me that I can literally re-write my future past, with decisions and choices that I make today. In other words, each second that goes by in my life (and yours) becomes my past. If I choose to make some corrections, think differently, act differently, then my past becomes different. It changes for me. It will not be the same old, same old past with me not learning lessons, not making changes, still doing the same things I’ve always done and gotten the same results I’ve always had in my life.

The other key ingredient about this – my future will change too. The important part about this for all of us, is to get started on the changes that are necessary as soon as possible. That way our past will provide great and wonderful moments that will help us with our tomorrow’s. It will also help us to help others so that they also can learn from their past so that their tomorrows can be positively different too.

More reasons to have some gratitude in your life .... Quote Of The Week

7/28/2014

"Gratitude is a vaccine, an antitoxin, and an antiseptic.” — John Henry Jowett

I have found this quote to be totally true many times in my life, but more so recently. As I have been continuing my recovery from my knee-replacement surgery, I have focused on this quote many times, especially over the last day or two and let me tell you; gratitude is every bit of a vaccine, an antitoxin and antiseptic. There have been a few down moments when I start feeling sorry for myself, but this is such a great attitude and outlook adjustment. I have talked to my wife about this too and she totally agrees and has helped me to refocus my attention back on getting better and looking ahead.

This also got me remembering a few more things about my stay at the hospital. My first roommate was an elderly gentleman from another country, who could not speak English to well. Plus, being in such close quarters, it was not hard to hear things about what he was battling. He was dealing with throat cancer, something wrong with his jaw along with having recently broken one of his legs too. This got me feeling better right away about my status but I also picked up on how hard his son was working on making sure he was being taken care of. The questions, the time spent in the hospital and on the phone, all to make sure his dad was getting the best care possible. His son had to be a little younger than me, but I was impressed.The language barrier was helped a little with a few doctors & other medical personnel that could speak this man’s native language. So many times you hear of people kind of being left on their own when it comes to these types of health issues. This man's son did such a great job, a lesson for me and everyone. Well, they had to move his dad from this hospital I was at to another one for the different and specialized treatment that he needed.

I was alone for a couple of hours until my new roommate arrived. Again, quickly finding out that he was a guy my age having just went through his second back surgery. Now this got my attention quickly as I have back surgery coming up in early November. This guy was a nice guy, hard worker throughout his lifetime and again, I could pick things up even without really talking to him right away. We did talk a few times through the curtain telling about our stories a little bit to each other. It was great to see the support that he had there from his wife and his mom the first evening after his surgery. Then his wife was there for a good part of the day on Thursday. He also had a buddy that came in on Friday morning to visit for a little bit too.

I noticed quickly this guy appreciated the people that came to visit him and that he was very grateful for their time spent with him. He was in a lot of pain it seemed, but it didn't keep him from doing the little things he had to start to do to get better. We found ourselves talking a few times, trying to keep encouraging each other a little bit along with having some fun with some light-hearted comments and a bit of laughter. We spent a little time talking about how will have to find a new profession / career as with his injuries his doctors have told him he would have to make some changes. As I had my time to spend thinking, this got me thinking how grateful I was for the time spent with both roommates and the lessons that each gave to me.

I am now into my Physical Therapy sessions. First was four visits here at home and now I have started this week going to my regular Physical Therapist as an outpatient. I knew it would be challenging and difficult, but I have also been thinking about this for months leading up to my surgery, the fact that I have to do these exercises and work through the pain in order to get better. I can tell already from the people that I have been working with, that there are many more lessons of gratitude here for me to learn from and to focus on. There will be more thoughts, observations, lessons and discussions coming from this for sure. We all have things that we go through everyday. There are always lessons of gratitude there for us to learn from for sure. What are some of the lessons you have learned on your journey in life?

Quote of the Week - April 14, 2014

4/14/2014

"The greatest trap in our life is not success, popularity or power, but self-rejection." -- Henri Nouwen

This quote jumped out at me, tapped me on the shoulder and reminded me that this is not only what I deal with a lot but most people do too. The idea that we need to believe in ourselves before great things can happen is an age-old truth that has been talked about and shared for all of time it seems. It's because it's totally true. We do need to believe in ourselves more than any other thing in life for us to do great things.

This is something that I have not always had an easy time doing. Looking back over my life I can see clearly now (not the song... but I have it in my head now)... where many of my troubles have come from my lack of belief in myself. Since I have been in the front row for all my failures and short-comings, there have been many things that have stuck with me that have gotten in the way of having a strong belief in myself.

Now that I have realized that over the last decade and a half or so, it's becoming a bit easier to see the importance of believing in myself. Which means I need to fix the way I am not only thinking but I need to work on learning from my failures instead of dwelling on them.

My leadership classes this term hammers home lessons like this to me everyday. I know that I am learning as much as my students are - and that is cool. So, what lessons do you have to share with others about these and other topics?