Category: Inspire - Coach to Expect Success

Fighting Against Something vs. Fighting For Something - There Is A HUGE Difference

11/4/2016

"Fight against something and we focus on the thing we hate. Fight for something and we focus on the thing we love." - Simon Sinek

Let this thought sink in for just a few moments. I think Simon is right on target. I’ve thought about this and I remember plenty of times that I would fight against something and I still remember those feelings that I had during those moments, and they weren’t good. I can still feel the cloudy feeling in my head, feeling the anger & negativity inside of me during these moments. You know what? Most of the time during these moments, things would not work out too well in the end.

Now, flip it around. There have been plenty of moments (not enough of them, now that I think about it), where I remember fighting for something and those thoughts and feelings were totally opposite of when I was fighting against something. I had more power, more of a feeling of not wanting to quit, felt more inspired and many times the results would be a lot better in these moments. When it’s for the people in my life that I care about, now that is where some power is found for sure.

Just imagine this simple change in how we go after things in life. I think about how when I make the conscious choice to fight for (get worked up about, have it on my mind, etc.) something that means something to me; compared to those things that I don’t really care about. Those things at least I won’t let them affect me, getting me all upset. (that is easier said than done). I’ll still deal with or work on things that are necessary to do, but I’ll have a much better attitude about it when I won’t let it affect me. I’m choosier now about things and how they take up my time, how they affect me, my family, and how I spend time on them which takes me away from other things.

Focusing on something and how much I hate it, doesn’t really equal much positive success. The thing might get done, but at what cost? That cost could be to my health, other things not getting my thoughts or my time, the people that I can’t connect with or help, etc.

When you take a deeper look at this quote, what comes up for you? It might start making a difference in your life in how you deal with things. It did for me. Now remember, I don't have it all figured out. That's proven every day. But I am working on it. We all should.

We Just Have To Give Ourselves A Chance!

8/25/2015

"You can make startling changes you can’t even conceive of right now, if you just give yourself half a chance." -- Jim Rohn

As I was looking through some quote ideas another one from the great Jim Rohn jumped out at me. I think so many times in our lives, if we give ourselves a chance to do great things, we will indeed do just that.

You know, before we are able to do really do anything in life we have to tell ourselves to do it. Just getting up on time in the morning, making breakfast, filling the car up with gas, taking a shower, etc. Now with other things, it’s a lot more difficult than simply telling ourselves to do it. We have to convince ourselves for the really important and life changing things that we need to do. Those items such as going after your dreams and goals, stepping up to push yourself to get rid of bad habits and replace them with good ones, to reach out to help others that maybe not too many others are willing to help out, along with looking to make a difference with others throughout your lifetime.

It’s about being continually inspired throughout life. We need to have those inspirational reminders just about on a daily basis I think. Those stories that we can relate to that helps us believe that we too can do great things. To get us to understand that we don’t have to settle. We simply need to give ourselves a chance, an opportunity to do them. Jim Rohn went onto say “The real value in setting goals is not in their achievement. The acquisition of the things you want is strictly secondary. The major reason for setting goals is to compel you to become the person it takes to achieve them.”

When we look back on the great moments in our lives, they usually come from overcoming difficulties, maybe a long time in working hard and then something wonderful happens along with the fact that we can look back at all the great people that came into our lives along with the new things we learned during that time period. It’s also a time to see the people that aren’t in our lives anymore. Our journey throughout life takes us into different directions that others won’t follow us through. They have their own journeys to go on and even though it’s sad to lose friends, it’s necessary for us to become who we want to and need to become.

Part of this equation is to figure it out sooner than later as some of our many journeys through life take time. The sooner we realize this, the more things we can go through to get us to become the person we want to be. Another key, maybe even a more important one is to realize that it’s never too late to start on any of these possible journeys. You know, I’ve been learning a lot lately and much of it is dealing with the person that I know I need to become in order for things to happen. Much of it are things that I’d rather not face, not talk about, and not have to go through. I know I need to go through them and face them in order for things to get better for me but more importantly for those that are around me. My wife and kids, my other family members, my students, my basketball players, fellow teachers, coaches, friends and neighbors along with the countless people that I haven’t even met yet. I’ve been playing small most of my life. That time has to end, and end now. What are some of the things you need to give yourself permission to do? Just give yourself a chance, something little, just one thing. Then just look for those little things each and every day that can help you. When you find them, please let me know and others too, since I know that we are all looking for those little things to help us in our journeys through life.

"Be an Encourager ..." Quote of the Week - June 16, 2014

6/16/2014

"Stop criticizing and be an encourager." - Carol Whitaker

This is one thing that I have been trying to do for years - being an encourager for others. I need to continue to work on this skill for I still find myself criticizing others at times. When I saw this tweet from Carol, it got me thinking right off the bat on how much better our world would be if we encouraged others more rather than criticizing others.

As I was getting ready to write some thoughts for this quote - I read another post from a former student who is now living in a different part of the country. She wrote about how at her job there is a co-worker that she works with who is always criticizing her, nit-picking all the things she does wrong along never pointing out the good things she does. No encouragement at all from this person. She wrote about how she doesn't let it affect her and she just keeps up her great & positive attitude (much like when I had her in my classes) - and goes about doing her job. Her post went on to say that this negative co-worker had to leave and she was pulled over to fill in for his job the rest of the shift. Another co-worker in that area was so glad to see my former student working with her because the other person was always so negative about everything, including criticizing the other co-workers too. My former student saw that it was not just her that this person was doing this too, it was everyone!

Well from the story it seems that the negative person came back and had changed his tune a little bit as there were small little compliments and thank-you's giving to my former student. She mentioned how surprising it was to see and hear that from him. Not knowing the whole story, my guess is that my student's and her other co-workers' examples of not letting the negative attitudes - the 3 C's (criticizing, condemning and complaining) get to them, really got noticed by "Mr. 3 C's" himself! Not only did she and the others not let this person affect them and their work, but they also did not become like him! So many times we chime in and start saying things like the 3 C's person. Being around a 3 C person can make us feel like him (if we let those things become what we are thinking and doing) or it can inspire us to be more NOT like him and do things and think things that combat and go against the 3 C's.

I think it's safe to say, we all know someone like the criticizer from my former student's post. Either we work with someone like that or we have someone in our life that we know that is like that.

Another quick post I saw, also from another student (I love how they are out there making a difference) on how most people hate Mondays. She wrote about that she was going to the gym to get her day going in the right direction and inspire her to make it not only a great day but a great week too! She then asked an important questions to others - "tell me what inspires you"? I told her what helps to inspire me.....(she does with her posts like she put out) and I will ask you the same question. What inspires you? Share it with me and others. Make it a GREAT day and a FANTASTIC week.

Quote of the Week - March 31, 2014

3/31/2014

“Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted. And experience is often the most valuable thing you have to offer.”
― Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture

Just got done with watching Dr. Randy Pausch's "The Last Lecture" with my Leadership classes. Wow! Talk about lessons for life! I've watched this video many times over the last few years and I still come away with many new lessons learned. If you have not watched it, look it up on YouTube and take some time to watch, listen and learn. Then find the book and read that too. Many different lessons in there, since it's from a little bit different perspective from Randy.

Out of the many lessons, this one on what he says about Experience is huge. We usually get it when we don't get what we want in life. There are so many lessons by the "not" getting what we wanted, but most people just see the part that they didn't get what the wanted. This missed out on the experience of what happened along with looking at the why it didn't happen. Randy ties this into setting goals and being on a journey to achieve those goals, but then the goal doesn't happen. The lessons he learned were more valuable to him than if would have achieved the goal itself. How do you ask?

Along his journey trying to achieve the goal, the lessons he learned along the way taught him more about life than he ever thought he would learn. Unlike most people, Randy took those lessons and applied them to so many other parts of his life. Most people would be hung up on the fact that they didn't achieve their goal and miss out on the lessons. You want something that will offer you lessons that will affect your life (if you let it, that is), then watch his video and grab his book. There will be more from Dr. Randy Pausch that I will offer in future posts. Let me know what you learn from his video and book... remember the lessons never end.

Quote of the Week - March 24, 2014

3/25/2014

"It's hard to beat someone who never gives up." -Babe Ruth

Love this quote... mostly because I need it, but I also heard something like this over the weekend from one of the many basketball games I watched from March Madness. This is totally true... the Babe was right on with this statement. From a team standpoint and an individual one too - it is so disheartening, so difficult to go up against someone who just flat out refuses to quit. On the basketball court everyone can see this clearly. I pride myself that in all my years of coaching, my teams really never quit - they really never gave up. Even in huge losses - we never stopped. Opposing fans, coaches and players.. heck.. even officials often told me that it was great to see my girls never give up in our games.

I, on the other hand, gave up way to much on things growing up. I know now what a mistake that was and I'm still learning from it, even at age 48. You see, quitting becomes a habit. The longer it goes on, the more difficult it is to break. Most people find it hard to keep going, especially in times of things getting difficult. That's the time persistence is needed even more. It's really difficult when people go up against someone who won't quit. It helps to remind them that they can do the same thing, but they choose not to.

After thinking on this quote a few more times, it really is apparent to me that I need to become that person that the Babe was talking about. In many respects there are areas that I have not quit. There are many that I have. So with the help of Babe Ruth and a few of my students leaving comments on my class site about this quote - this week has started off well. How's it going for you? Are you one of the people that Babe Ruth was talking about?? At least ask yourself that question.

Quote of the Week - February 17, 2014

2/18/2014

“Whatever you do in life, it should energize you not drain you” – Scott Smith

When I saw this quote - I knew I had to get it out there for my students and others to really wrap their arms around this one. It's a common theme with my students about finding things they are passionate about to chase after in their lives. I've seen it for far too long now with people that don't have much in life that get's them fired up. Many people spend their times doing things every day that seems to drain them and sends them off into a negative state of mind. Of course it doesn't just affect them - it affects (or infects) many people that come in contact with them.

We only have a limited time here on earth - so why spend it doing things that drain you and make you feel horrible about yourself and everyone around you. It's time (no matter how old you are) to start figuring out what you have to do to find those things to chase after that inspire you. Those things that are in your heart that get you fired up. Those things that are on your mind that wake you up in the middle of the night thinking about. We all have things that fall into those categories and at least at one time or another - we have all thought about something like this. Figure this out, the sooner the better. I keep telling my students that they have such an advantage over most of the people in our society. If they start looking now and trying to figure out those things that they are fired up about - they can start doing something about those things. Most people never go after what truly gets them fired up in life. They get sucked into doing things that don't inspire and energize - and they lose hope of ever finding those true passions in life.

This thought also works with people. We should surround ourselves with those people that inspire us, those that make us feel better about ourselves, those people that add value to our lives - not those that drain us, make us feel horrible about ourselves and those that keep on taking without giving back.

Where are you on the path to finding out about these ideas? Hopefully this gets you thinking about a few things that you can start looking at differently today. Drop me a note and let me know what you think - you could help me and others too.

Quote of the Week - February 10, 2014

2/11/2014

"Don't give me easy. Give me is it worth it." - Sam Crowley

The further we get in life, the more we look for our passions in life. Or at least that is the way I see it. It really becomes so important to see how fast time is passing and to look around a little bit to figure out what your passion is - a key to life for sure. Sam Crowley is someone who has a fantastic book and a great podcast along with other things for years, who's main message is to follow your life's passion and not to settle for mediocrity. It's a great message and I encourage you to check him out, along with others who's message is to inspire and to get you going in finding what your passion is in life.

Another key that I try and get my students to realize that it can be really cool to figure out what that passion (or passions) is early in life. The sooner the better. That means that we can't be clueless... we need to have a clue in life. We need to be on the lookout for what motivates us, what drives us, what gets us fired up, what is it that gets you out of bed (many times before your alarm goes off), what is that you just have to do more of since it's always on your mind???

When I say the sooner the better - that really hit home last week as one of my son's friends was sadly killed in a snowmobile accident. A couple of weeks away from his 19th birthday. This kid connected with so many people, of all age groups, including me. Eric was someone who had tons of passion in life about people and other things that was a fantastic lesson for me and I think others, judging as to how many people I saw at the funeral home and at his funeral mass the next day. It brought the sad reminder about we don't know how much time we have. It drives home the point that we can't waste time in our lives. The time is NOW to start going after things that you have passion for. We have all had an "Eric" to give us those lessons my friends. But the cost is entirely up to us. Do we want to wait and watch more time fly by? I have figured out.. no... not me any more. With my 48th birthday coming up this month - no thanks, I can't wait anymore. Do I wish I started earlier? You better believe it. Could I have started earlier... I guess looking back, I did start earlier. It just took me awhile to continue it on and start to do more things to make these things happen for me. I have a kid who loved the color yellow, who loved life and the people in his life, and loved Dr. Pepper pop (which I do too... always as a kid and I've reminded myself of that lately) that gave me another lesson in my life. God Bless him!

So the things that seem to be hard in life - don't wish that things were easier. Ask yourself is it worth it? Then look for ways to make to make it happen. The great things in life - the ones that touch our hearts and our soul - are usually not easy. As Tom Hanks said in the movie "A League of Their Own" about baseball - "The hard is what makes it great." Look to see what drives you, find that passion and then ask yourself - is it worth it? I think you might know that answer is. I know I do. Any thoughts or ideas to share? Let me know!!

Quote of the Week - December 9, 2013

12/9/2013

“There is no passion to be found playing small-in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.” – Nelson Mandela

This quote's main idea about not playing small in life, I've spoken about before. It serves nobody when we play small in life. When we choose to not be the best we can be, not living our life the best that we can; we really are hurting ourselves obviously but we are also affecting others around us too.

This past week the world lost one of the biggest difference makers that mankind has ever seen. When I saw this quote from Nelson Mandela, it struck me as one that I had to use this week. Here was a man who not only made it through some of the harshest times anyone has ever survived (being in prison for 27 years), but then came out not angry or bitter, but he came out more inspired to change things for the better. It makes me wonder how each of us can work to make positive changes in our lives and in the lives of others, without being in prison. But if we think about it, maybe some (or most) of us are already in "prison".

Nelson Mandela also answered a question after he got out of prison - the question wondered why he was not angry and bitter at his captors. He said (and I'm paraphrasing here) if he chose to be that way - than he would have been in a far worse prison the rest of his life. It totally makes sense to me. Our choices and how we respond to things along with the way we think, can literally put us in our own "prison" which keeps us from doing great things in our life. It forces us to play small in life. Nelson Mandela lived 95 years, 27 of those were in a physical prison under harsh conditions. How many of us lives in a different type of prison and how many years has that forced us to play small in life? Looking back, I've been stuck there for too many of my 47 years, that's for sure. As I sit here with my cup of coffee thinking about the meanings behind Mr. Mandela's words - I have figured out that we all hold the key to open up the door to our prison and walk out so we can start playing BIG in life so we can make a difference in our life and more importantly, in the lives of others.

It would be great to hear some thoughts and ideas - especially from younger people that may have not really known what Nelson Mandela was all about. Maybe over the last few days since his death, it's made you want to find out more about the man and what he was about. As always - let me and others know your thoughts and your ideas.

Quote of the Week - April 8, 2013

4/7/2013

"The harder I work, the luckier I get" - Gary Player

With the greatest sporting event in the world coming up this week, The Masters, this quote fits in just right this week. Not only is this quote have something to do with golf, but it also (and more importantly) has something to do with life. Gary Player, the South African golfer who won 3 Masters titles along with 165 total tournaments from around the world, hit this quote just right with golf's connection to life. Actually this holds true for any sport, but the key is we don't have to be any kind of athlete at all to have this work for us in our regular lives.

From what I heard and read about Gary Player, he was a tireless worker in everything he did. To make it all work even better, he was a true gentlemen in all that he did as well. The sooner that we realize that life is all about hard work, and then when we put in that extra effort into the right things in our lives, it's then that we will see a few more opportunities come our way. It's time to figure out how to not only work harder at some things that we got going on in our lives, but also look to work smarter too. As always, it helps to be passionate about what you are doing in your life too. That's another thing to figure out - what fires you up? What do you wake up thinking about every morning that you can't wait to get started on? If you don't have that yet - find it! It makes Gary's quote that much more important to get going on too. What's going on in your life now where you can start working harder and making your own luck? Even if you are at a place where you may not be happy doing what you are doing, figure out some things that you would rather be doing with your life and then work hard to get there. As always, share any thoughts you might have, for it will not only help me, but yourself and others too.

Quote of the Week - January 28, 2013

1/28/2013

“When opportunity comes, it’s too late to prepare.” - Coach John Wooden

So many quotes connect with my life, this is just one of many. I know that I've missed out on opportunities since I wasn't prepared. It's one of the many things I try and get my students to learn from my examples. Coach John Wooden was one who didn't wait for opportunities to come his way. He not only prepared for them before they came, he made his own opportunities for himself and his teams. What a great lesson for all of us, especially in today's worrisome times.

I saw another story that had a part that really stood out to me, it actually gave me a quick little poke on my nose to wake me up and remind me -again, of things I should be doing. This was from John Tapene, from Northland College on some comments he heard from a judge who deals with teens. Part of this said ".... start behaving like a responsible person. You are important and you are needed. It's too late to sit around and wait for somebody to do something someday. Someday is now and somebody is you."

This really connected with me. I made a comment on this entire message (which I will put below this entry) on Facebook that this message is not just for teens. It's for each and every one of us. Today is the day to prepare and yes, that somebody is indeed me to get ready for the opportunities that are out there.

Any thoughts on this or the picture below? Always interested in what you have to say as I know I can learn so much from you.