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Staying Positive When Life Gets Hard

2/7/2019

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This article that I had my students look at for one of their recent weekly blog assignments had a great title:  "How To Stay Positive When Life Gets Hard."  It was a very short article that really focused in on 3 people and their thoughts about staying positive.


"Nothing is ever achieved without some trials and tribulations. The first step in moving beyond those circumstances is to remain positive. Without that, you’ll be perpetually stuck in the situation. No good has ever come from negativity."   

— Mark Lee, founder and CEO of MDMartin, LLC 

It's a good reminder for all of to remember that our lives do have a lot of ups and downs throughout our time of being on this earth.  Remaining positive throughout life is a better way to take on these challenges compared to having a negative one.  For some people this is difficult and it helps for anyone to have other positive people around them, reading good information, listening to good information, having things to do in life that are connected to their passions and to taking good care of themselves too.  It's totally possible to more possible and again, it will help you figure things out a better than a negative attitude will. 


"Stay positive, focus on being mindful and keep a clear head. When problem solving, don’t get discouraged if it doesn’t all go according to plan. You can’t control everything in life or business, so embrace the adversity and dig in even further to drive a positive outcome. The harder you work for something, the more rewarding it is in the end."   

— Amanda Ruisi, founder and president of AKR Public Relations

Amanda brings up a fantastic idea here - it has so much to do with our current mindset that we choose to have.  Remember, we can't choose what happens to us most of the time, but we certainl can choose how we will react.  The old saying about life is 10% of what happens to us and 90% of how we respond. It is worth the hard work.  At least if things don't work out, you have practiced by giving great effort so the next thing you need to work on, you already have some good habits going. 


"I was diagnosed and treated for cancer when I was 19, and I have a uniquely optimistic and positive outlook as a result. But maintaining that positivity still takes constant effort. When I’m feeling down or overwhelmed, one of the best ways to change my mindset is to focus on gratitude and finding awe in the everyday. For example, when I got burned out from business travel last year, I took time on every flight to focus on what I’m grateful for and to think about how unbelievably awesome it is to be in the air flying."
--Jennifer Benz, founder and CEO of Benz Communications

Even if we are blessed to never have had cancer to deal with personally, my bet is that we all know someone who has had to fight that battle.   So this example is an extreme one of course, but it does allow us to see someone who is fighting a HUGE battle and the lessons we can learn from them and their fight that they have on their hands.  Learning lessons from others and their stories is something we should always look to do.  

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Remember that there are plenty of examples out there; articles, books, podcasts, videos, seminars, shows, etc., where we can get some good information in order to create some good habits.   Remember what Zig Ziglar's son Tom said "The fastest way to success is to replace a bad habit with a good one."  This post hopefully helps you do that.  

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"Just do the best you can.  No one can do more than that." - John Wooden

2/23/2018

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This is one thing (of many) that I need to get better at.  Coach John Wooden mentions this as part of his definition of success.  Doing the best we can, at things we have to do throughout our life, is a great way to approach life.  Looking to get better day in and day out is something we all need to look at doing.

Coach Wooden talks about not comparing ourselves with others.  We, ourselves, are the only ones we should be competing against.  We are the only ones that can control or have a say as to what we do in this competition.  There are no referees, no other team going against us - the only opponent for me is me!   How cool is it to know everything possible about your opponent?  That never happens in sports I can tell you that. 

The key for me is to approach each and every day with this attitude of looking to do more and to always try and get better.  There are plenty of days where I don't want to do that, I don't feel like it, there are other things to spend my time on instead of self-improvement, a TV show or a game might be on, and the distraction list goes on and on.

One other factor is that I realize when I'm not doing my best and looking back throughout my life - there are plenty of times where I can remember knowing that I was not doing my best.  To realize that, especially in the moment, is something that I'm trying to change of course.  The younger we connect with this idea, the better off we will be.  This goes way beyond sports too. This is in everyday life!  Especially with relationships.  Seeing that relationships are so important, this is a great concept to connect with.  Always try and add value to your relationships with others, especially the really important ones - family & close friends.  

This was a weekly quote that I shared with my students and it has caused me to reflect that I need to take these weekly quotes in for me too and not just think that my students need to see it.  What about you?  Are you finding that you needed this reminder too?  I hope so.  Drop me a note as to what your thoughts & ideas are about this.  Find me on Facebook at:  https://www.facebook.com/coachtoexpectsuccess/  and on Twitter:  @coachtosuccess

Guess what??  I just got onto Instagram!!  Find me:  coachjohndaly
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"We may encounter many defeats but we must not be defeated." — Maya Angelou

10/4/2017

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There probably isn’t a day that goes by where we don’t face some disappointment, setback, or failure.  Life is full of them for sure.  Some have more or create more of these than others, but the key is that we all have them.  For the longest time I didn’t spend my time learning from these mistakes and failures.  I usually spent it feeling sorry for myself, blaming other issues, but you know what – deep down inside, I knew I had more to do with than I was letting on.

It took me many years to see the value of those failures.  The lessons in defeat are many and like I always tell my basketball players throughout the years – there are many more valuable lessons to learn from losses than there are from winning.  Now that I know that – it’s beginning to make a difference in my life.  I look back and wonder sometimes if I had picked this up earlier in my life… how things would be much better or at least different. 

It’s one of the things that helps a sports team to become great or an athlete too – but the same is true for all of us.  If we can bounce back, get up, grow & get better from the setbacks we have in life – we will become better for sure.  This holds true at work, at home, with our family and with other people too. They key is to learn early in life.  Learn early and often is the key.  As time goes on, it does get better for us.  Just think of the possibilities 😊
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Today Has Two Different Meanings...

6/20/2017

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"Today is the oldest you've ever been, and the youngest you'll ever be again. So live life to the fullest today, and have no regrets." #SayQuotable

There are things that we hear every day of our lives.  Some of them we actually listen to and some of them we take an extra step and we actually think about too.   When I saw this one, I had to read it again and then I also made it my last quote of the week for the school year for my students.

There is one more step on things like this.  After the thinking part of it – and of course it’s the most important part, it’s doing something about the statement.  The thing is that this statement rings true every day.  Then as the days go by we forget to live every day to the fullest and suddenly so much time has gone by that we tend to just fall into the motions of things we always do.  As Brian Buffini has said – “The days are long and the years are short.”    Years that go by tend to blend into one another and it gets harder and harder to remember them.

To be honest, this is something that I have always struggled with.  I’m trying to not live with regrets and I suppose I’m doing a better job than before, but wasting time and not living each day to the fullest is something that I continue struggle with.  But then in that same moment that I think about that statement, I have another thought – and that is that I won’t stop trying to make this better.  I won’t stop trying to live each day to the fullest and to the best that I can.

During a visit to Cincinnati, Ohio June 8 -10, I went to Sam Crowley’s live event.  This exact topic was heavy in our discussions.  Sam helped us all out by assigning a little homework to bring with us.  He wanted us to put down our Why’s on a notecard.  Why are we trying to do what we do? What are the reasons that are pushing us to be different, to try different things, and to get out of comfort zone.  We all shared those Why cards and it was powerful for sure.   For sure it helped that we got up in front of people to share our stories, but the real difference maker for all of us I think was to hear the other stories from everyone there.  It helped our whys to listen to the others that were there.  I think it helped to make our why’s stronger for ourselves based upon the connections we made with the other people there.

Besides the connection that my family has as part of my why, another is what Les Brown talks about on how valuable the graveyard is.  It’s the place where so many ideas, dreams, thoughts, etc., die with the people who never acted on them, never tried – I do not want that to be me.  I need to work on that every day so that I won’t take them all with me when it’s my time. 

Now that we all have these new connections coming out of the event, there has been a lot of action being taken by people in our group.  I know that I have done more and plan on doing more just because of the people I met during that event.  Reading a statement like the one above is good.  Doing something with it is better.  To have other people helping you to do that, that’s more than you can do with it yourself.  That’s the power of making the most out of every day, when it’s bigger than just you.  Our Why’s – the reason we get up every day to go and do whatever we have to do – it’s important to know those reasons why.  It’s important to connect them to the people in our lives as I think that multiplies the power that those reasons can have with us. 

One more key – we help those people that are part of our why’s by going out and doing great things.  They see us doing those things and they too can realize they can do great things too.  It’s not just about us – Life is about those connections we have with others.  Those are the real why’s we do what we do.  Have you looked at your why’s?  Why do you do what you do?  Is there more to your why’s than just yourself?  A great challenge for all of us is to look at that statement often to see where we stand with our why’s in life.  I know I need to do it every day.  Challenge yourself right now.  Go back up to the top and read that statement again – copy it so you can see it every day and then think about your why’s.  Anyone want to share their why?

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Big-Time Growth Awaits Outside Of The Zone!

5/30/2017

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"All progress takes place outside the comfort zone." — Michael John Bobak

This is something that has taken me awhile to latch onto.   I’ve made tremendous progress throughout my life when getting out of my comfort zone.  It’s just that most of the times; I’ve not gotten out of my comfort zone enough to really do the things that I know I want to do.

Since 2014 when I had both of my surgeries (knee replacement & back surgery), that was the first recent instance that has gotten me out of my comfort zone.  I’ve had to make adjustments, to think differently, and start to realize the changes that I need to make in my life in many different areas.    My physical and mental health has to improve along with my relationship health too; starting with my wife, kids, and family.   There are many other relationships that I need to work on as well and I need to stop putting it off.  These things are helping me to get out of my comfort zone in a big way.

I also got some help in 2016 by interviewing for two positions that I did not end up getting.  The high school that I work at had an Assistant Principal job opening along with bringing back our Dean of Students position too.  The entire process helped to give me so much confidence in that it made thing become very clear as to the direction I want to take my career and my life.  I can honestly say without reservation that I’m at so much peace with the fact I didn’t get either of those 2 positions.  First, the right candidates got them over me.  They are the BETTER candidates that will help our school more than I could. 

Second and more important, this process has given me the kick in my butt that I’ve tried to give myself over the years that I need to see my future and the direction I NEED to take it.   As Les Brown has said – it’s hard to see outside the picture when I’m inside the frame.  The time aspect has been a big part for me to connect with and understand; both from the parts that the new positions would have taken up more and different amounts of time along with that for me personally, time is running out as to things I want to (and need to) get done in my life.
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So, as I begin to take these lessons and apply them to the things I need to work on, it gives me great energy and excitement for what’s to come.  It pays big dividends to get out of our comfort zones, get a little scared and uncomfortable and then realize that you are not only okay for doing it, but that you are actually coming out better for going through it.  I’m not sure if you have found the same results for getting out of your comfort zone and if you have not, you need to try it.  There really is no sense to go through our lives living timid and being scared to work on things that are connected to our hearts.  Life is supposed to be a learning & growing adventure.  I’ve found that really only happens outside of the picture frame.  Outside our comfort zone is the place to be for me, how about you?
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Our Last Day

5/19/2017

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“On your last day on earth, the person you became will meet the person you could have become.” — Anonymous
 
This quote really jumped out to me last week as I was thinking about Les Brown’s message that we watched in my Leadership classes awhile back.  He talked about a story of a guy’s last day and he had his family and some friends around his bed side, something we all hope to have on our last day for sure.  Les also described that there were other figures around this guy’s bedside and he noticed that they all had angry and disappointed looks on their faces – especially in their eyes.  He asked the one closest to him who are you?   The figure answered that we are all the dreams and ideas that you never acted upon.  You never even tried to do anything with us and now we are going to die with you.  You were the only one that could have given us life and now that will never happen.

Now I’ve heard Les tell this story many times watching his videos and to be honest, it always makes me tear up thinking about how I don’t want to be that guy.  This year, same thing but it was different.  The tears were still there and I’m not exactly sure why, but it is different than before.   I guess I’m more in touch with the fact that many things are changing in my life.  I’m older (51 when I write this), my parents & in-laws are older too of course and there are the health issues with them that are on my mind too.  Now I know these things are natural in life.
They do happen, heck they are supposed to happen.  I look at my 2 kids and how they too (of course) are getting older.  We are approaching another graduation here at Lake Shore High School, my 24
th.  So maybe that might be part of it too?

Thinking about this a little bit more – I think back to those people that have been an important part of my life and I am really zeroing in on the fact that they have had a direct affect on me getting to where I am today.  Some of them are no longer alive, some have moved away and I’ve lost touch with others still.  One of my missions is to continue to try and make a difference with as many people as possible as a way to payback all the people throughout my lifetime that invested in me and helped me get to where I am today.

But the fact remains that I have another strong force starting to push me. I DO NOT want to be like that guy that Les Brown is talking about.  There are many things I’d like to do, many ideas, many goals and dreams that I’ve had for awhile – and I don’t want to not act on trying to make them happen.  I’ve said this before in my life that it’s time to start getting into action. I’ve done it a little here and there of course.  Now, it’s time to raise my standards BIG TIME!   Wanting the person I know I can become be the same person when I finish my race that is something that will be great to make happen.

What about you?  How are you doing in going after your dreams and goals?  Have you ever thought what it might be like to meet that person you could have become on your last day?  The younger you are the more of a say you have in how your last day can be.  It’s the same with me of course, but I just have less time than others.   I tell you what though, it’s going to be something that I’m working on more and more.  Raising your standards is not easy.  Getting better is not easy.  It’s all worth it though. 
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Challenges Offer Learning Opportunities

1/9/2017

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"If it doesn't challenge you, it won't change you." – Unknown

One thing I really look back on in my life was that I got this message and took it to heart.  Today, as a guy over 50, I have no problem what so ever taking this to heart since I’ve been through enough of life that I can the value and truth to this statement.  The funny thing is, I’ve had plenty of people telling me that when I was younger and of course I didn’t really listen to them.  Equally as comical is the fact that I give this same message to my 2 kids along with my students and basketball players.  I hope they listen better than I did.

I’ve seen more challenges as I’ve gotten older along with most of those challenges being a lot more serious and heavy duty than most of the ones that I had when I was younger.  When I was younger I thought those challenges were serious of course at that time, only to learn that you do what you can and get help if you need it and then time moves on, and just about all those challenges are a distant memory as I got older.

What I know now is that those times when those things come up in life are meant to test us.  They are meant to give us some of the most valuable lessons we will ever learn throughout our lifetime.  That’s if we look at that way while being in the middle of those problems and issues.  That’s the challenging part.  It’s really easy to look back on memories to think about them or at least try and remember them for the lessons that were there.  I think it’s a hundred times more valuable if we can look for the lessons while we are in the middle of the lesson.

Also remember, we learn from many different sources.  Other people telling us about their stories of their ups and downs – and the lessons they learned. Even watching others go through things without them telling us about them.  We learn from reading books, listening to podcasts, seeing current events going on around us, etc.  The most valuable of them all – those things that we go through ourselves!   We are the best source of learning for our own lives since we are in the title role playing ourselves in our own story.  ​

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Work Towards What Really Matters

9/19/2016

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"If what you're working for really matters, you'll give it all you've got." — Nido Qubein

One of the most important things we can do during our lifetime is to find out what really matters to ourselves in life.  I hear it like a broken record, over and over again- find your passion in life, find out your reason why you do what you do!  I know the earlier we find out the answer, the better our lives will be.  Also remember, it's not just about us finding this out to make our own lives better.  Everyone we meet and get connected with, throughout our lifetime, will benefit too.

Since you have started your journey (the day you were born), and you are now thinking about your future a little bit more (especially seniors), you have the fantastic opportunity to start figuring out what your why is all about.  It's really a powerful concept that many people never really figure out during their lifetime.  As we go through life there comes opportunity after opportunity after opportunity to find out things about ourselves.  This all works in helping us to figure out our direction of our life along with answering that all important question, why am I here?

​I have been telling people that I have a new mantra in life - I don't give a rip!  You can substitute something else for rip, but be careful. ;-)  It's not meant to be a negative about not caring.  To me it's about me focusing on those things that are important in life to me (my faith, my family, my students, my basketball players, my friends, my future, my dreams and goals, etc.).  I don't want to waste time on things that don't really matter.  Things that won't make a real difference in life.  When I'm on my death bed, I want to look back and see that I spent time on things that mattered in life.

I've spent a lot of my 50 years or so doing that.  But I've also spent too much time on things that don't matter at all.  I think I'm old enough to know better and more importantly to do something about it.  The thing is, I've always been old enough to do something about it.  That's what I want to help you see that you too can do something about it at any time.  As with many success principles, it helps to get going on this sooner rather than later.  How are you on identifying your WHY in your life?  Get going today!  Let me know how's it going and / or if you need help figuring things out.
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More Of Us Is Greater Than One Of US

9/19/2016

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"Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much." - Helen Keller

​First thought that came to mind when I saw this was that how impressed I was earlier this morning when I was writing a response back to a student's assignment about all the people throughout my lifetime that have made a difference with me.  I was on that thought because I have put myself into the life-long mode of trying to make a difference with as many people as I can to help pay back all those that made a difference with me.

I've said it others that I could live to be a 150 years old and still would not be able to pay it all back as to the differences that were made with me by others investing their times, energy and efforts into me.  Thinking back to my parents, they were the biggest supporters of me.  Dr. Wells Cook at Central Michigan University was another - next to my parents, this man had the biggest influence on my life.  Other teachers, coaches, neighbors, family members, friends and plenty of my students too over the years have helped me more than they will ever know.

Just like on the basketball court, I try and get my players to always understand that they can do a heck of a lot more together than they can do on their own.  Where in your life can you thank those that have helped you?  And even more important - one thing I always try and get my student to see besides thanking those that have helped them... is to find out how you can help others.  :-)  Any thoughts?
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Following Your Dream Is Tough - But It's Even Tougher If Don't.

8/29/2016

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"It's difficult to follow your dream.  It's a tragedy not to." - Sam Crowley  

I've heard over and over again how difficult things are that are worth it or important.  Our dreams fall into that category for sure.  Things that are worthwhile in life usually don't come easy.  That's what makes the so worthwhile to us. 

Sam has been right on target with his insights ever since I started listening to him and following him almost 7 years ago. This one is no exception. 

The tragedy part is the thing that is connecting with me more and more recently.  One part has to do with me not putting in the effort to get things going on my dreams.  The time that has gone by in my life.  The fact that I have not believed in myself like I should have along with the fact that I probably have more yesterdays that I have tomorrows. 

Two instances recently have helped to drive this quote home too.  My father-in-law just turned 80 this month.  We had a big family party.  He really enjoyed his day, especially his birthday cake. The thing is, he's battling a number of health issues and it's difficult to see my wife and her siblings handle all of this that is going on.  It's equally difficult watching my mother-in-law go through a less severe health issue that is keeping her from getting around temporarily along with trying to be there to help her husband.  I think about all the dreams and goals that he has had during his lifetime.  He's a career educator being a high school teacher and counselor.  I know for a fact that he made a HUGE difference with many people throughout his career.

The other instance was while I was visiting my father-in-law in the hospital, he had a roommate in his room for a few days.  This man was 90 years old and I listened to him tell stories and give advice to his many visitors the couple of times I was there.  This guy was a spark-plug with having his mind in tact along with I could tell he lead a good life so far with all the stories tied into leadership, success and life principles.   

On my recent visit, my mother-in-law was talking to him as I guess she talked with him and his wife a lot since she spent most of her days there.  This time I got up the guts to say something to this man.  To wish him well along with thanking him for the lessons learned in overhearing his conversations while sitting there.  He had a big smile on his face.  He held out his hand when I introduced myself to him.  He asked what I did and I told him I was a high school business teacher.  He smiled even more.  He said he could tell that I liked what I did along with being good at it. (I humbly thanked him)  He worked as a controller for some major companies in his lifetime – something I picked up during his conversations with others. 

He told me a couple of things. One was to always use two words in life with others – Thank You! He said having a grateful and thankful heart was a key to life.  He also gave me two book titles to read and I wrote them down and I told him I would get these books and read them.  One was "The Boys in the Boat" - dealing with 9 Americans and their quest for Gold in the 1936 Olympics. The other book was "Team of Rivals" that was about the political genius of Abraham Lincoln.  This man told me that he knew he was on his way out but that he had a few things to tell people first. My wife was there a few times too and she told me that he was thanking everyone that came to visit him for their friendship and kindness throughout his life. 
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When I picked up my mother-in-law at the hospital the other evening, I saw her talking to this man's wife and they were hugging.  He had just died an hour or so before that evening.  I could see both the sadness and relief in the woman's eyes. But it also made me remember the quick conversation I had with him just two days before.  I thought about the changes that I have to make in my life.  I thought about how this man seemed to have gone after many of his dreams and goals, but I also wondered about those that he didn't, and how that made him feel here at the end of his life. I also thought about things Sam has been saying for all the years I've been listening to him.    They are both right and I need to do some things now that I've been putting off for far too long.  I am very thankful for both of these fellas and the lessons that I've learned.  Do these lessons connect with you too I hope?
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    Coach John Daly

    In Education for almost 33 years.   Around coaching girls basketball for almost 40 years.   Looking to share insights, thoughts and ideas to help everyone find their own piece of success.

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