Category: Self Improvement - Coach to Expect Success

What We Focus On Grows

7/21/2022

Amazing thought here that I got from John O'Leary and Matt Miller from a coaching session a couple of days ago - What You Focus On, Grows! I'm finally figuring out this important fact and I'm hopefully sharing it with some ideas and connections that you need to hear & think about too. Check out my podcast about this HERE.

I've known about this for many years - why I have not put more "stock" into this?? I guess I'm realizing how much of a slow learner I am. But, I am realizing how important it is to focus in on things that I want to choose instead of letting things happen to me where I don't have control. Sam Crowley says it all the time - "Where focus goes, energy flows!" I'm catching myself more often when I start going down a negative rabbit hole & I'm working on stopping myself from going further along with figuring why I'm going there and what the lessons are that I need to learn from that "detour." There is never to late of a time to pick up "new" skills like this. I'm also figuring out how important it is to have little victories in my life - every day that I can do little things, the right way, is one way to build a better life.

Having An Open Minded Mindset, Sure Does Help

10/19/2021

Listened to a great podcast recently where Ann Hiatt was a guest on John Lee Dumas' podcast, "Fire Nation". She had so many powerful things to say that it got me going in some great thinking directions, not only for myself, but also my students too. I had them listen to this podcast to help them see the connection to the week's Positivity Project connection to Open-Mindedness.

Check out the podcast HERE.

A few things that I connected from this podcast & I know will help me with what I want to do in my profession as an educator and a coach - First, there are so many "behind the scenes" things or "under the radar" things that I can do to build myself & my profession, stronger & having more of an impact. The little everyday things that go unnoticed by most - I can focus on them everyday, knowing they bring value to what I want to do. Waking up early, reading more, getting to work early & getting prepared. Making time for others to help solve issues & questions before they become problems. So many things that we all can do, that might not get other people to notice - but we know are the right things to do.

Second thing that stood out to me was the idea of staying ahead of myself as I learn new things, pick up new skills, be open to new opportunities, etc. There is this mindset of "reinventing" ourselves every so often. I certainly do not want to stay where I'm at as far as abilities & knowledge. It's become apparent to me recently that I want to keep learning new things, meeting new people, coming up with new ideas, etc., until my final day on earth. That's just me.

Finally - there are so many different paths towards success & that one way does not work for everyone. Success is such a broad definition for so people. One thing for sure that I'm seeing more and more (especially with my new position as an ESL Coach at school) is that my positive attitude / outlook / mindset, etc., is a difference maker. I see many people that are of the opposite mindset and I see the struggles they are having compared to others. Remember, having a positive attitude / outlook / mindset, does not mean you don't have problems. It means that you can solve them A TON better with a positive mindset than with a negative one. THAT IS FACT!

A Little Encouragement Goes A Long Way

11/27/2020

Love these quick hitters from John Maxwell - this one from his book "25 Ways to Win with People" and it comes at a time where we all need this reminder. Little notes (or texts even) of encouragement to others are needed so much today. And those notes last a long time too for people. Try it. Reach out to someone or more than one person & let them know not only that you are thinking about them, but you are also in their corner too. Encouragement goes a long way for sure.

In today's times things like this are needed more than ever. With the pandemic, politics, weather events, the economy, etc., it's crucial that we find it for ourselves. I'm finding I have a lot more of this to give, when I find more of it from reading great books, fabulous articles, listening to incredible podcasts along with watching inspirational videos. There are so many great avenues of picking up encouragement from so many resources. I will continue to share them in my podcasts, Facebook Live Videos, on Twitter, Instagram and on my YouTube Channel too. If you find anything that you find encouraging, make sure you send it my way and share it with others too.

Character Traits - Positivity Project

9/20/2019

We are starting the Positivity Project here at Lake Shore High School. It's all about the #OtherPeopleMatterMindset What we say and do every day does affect others. Many of us have taken a character survey from http://www.viacharacter.org/ The 24 Character Traits that it has on it really gives us some great reflection ideas on how we can improve ourselves. Like I told my students, I need all the help I can get with trying to improve and get better.

The one I will be focusing on improving over the next week is Perseverance. (It's #24 on my list) Just to focus on not giving up on things. I also need to have a little bit more patience with the things that I'm working on and not looking to just finish or to come back to it later, but to hang in there and finish things more. This survey was very accurate as I've struggled with this point just about all my life. Next week's Character Trait is CURIOSITY - I need to be more curious about finding ways to get better at this (and all of them actually). ;-) My third one I will be focusing in on is Forgiveness (mainly on myself). So many times I get down on myself and I need to have more positive self-talk instead of self defeating talk inside my own head. Remember, we are our own worst critics!!

From the Video that we watched about the P2 Project at Fayetteville-Manlius High School (Manlius, NY), I really enjoyed watching the interaction with staff and students about this awesome project. The ease that the students talked about their experiences were amazing! They have really bought into this program and are helping to make it part of the culture at their school. There was one senior that spoke about how critical it was for him to stop listening to everyone else and to listen to his own inner voice being guided by his 24 Character Traits. Very cool stuff! Finally - the decorative hallways. With those traits all over the place, I think that is something we can accomplish in the next couple of years here at Lake Shore High School.

This is a great reminder to all of us (especially to me) that we do affect others with everything we say and do. We affect ourselves with our thinking as well. Other people do indeed matter for sure and it's powerful to remember that along with we ourselves matter!! My definition of success, joy and happiness has been changed for the better due to this project!!

"Just do the best you can. No one can do more than that." - John Wooden

2/23/2018

This is one thing (of many) that I need to get better at. Coach John Wooden mentions this as part of his definition of success. Doing the best we can, at things we have to do throughout our life, is a great way to approach life. Looking to get better day in and day out is something we all need to look at doing.

Coach Wooden talks about not comparing ourselves with others. We, ourselves, are the only ones we should be competing against. We are the only ones that can control or have a say as to what we do in this competition. There are no referees, no other team going against us - the only opponent for me is me! How cool is it to know everything possible about your opponent? That never happens in sports I can tell you that.

The key for me is to approach each and every day with this attitude of looking to do more and to always try and get better. There are plenty of days where I don't want to do that, I don't feel like it, there are other things to spend my time on instead of self-improvement, a TV show or a game might be on, and the distraction list goes on and on.

One other factor is that I realize when I'm not doing my best and looking back throughout my life - there are plenty of times where I can remember knowing that I was not doing my best. To realize that, especially in the moment, is something that I'm trying to change of course. The younger we connect with this idea, the better off we will be. This goes way beyond sports too. This is in everyday life! Especially with relationships. Seeing that relationships are so important, this is a great concept to connect with. Always try and add value to your relationships with others, especially the really important ones - family & close friends.

This was a weekly quote that I shared with my students and it has caused me to reflect that I need to take these weekly quotes in for me too and not just think that my students need to see it. What about you? Are you finding that you needed this reminder too? I hope so. Drop me a note as to what your thoughts & ideas are about this. Find me on Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/coachtoexpectsuccess/ and on Twitter: @coachtosuccess

Guess what?? I just got onto Instagram!! Find me: coachjohndaly

Growth & Success - They Go Hand In Hand

2/13/2018

“Growth is the great separator between those who succeed and those who do not. When I see a person beginning to separate themselves from the pack, it’s almost always due to personal growth.” ―John C. Maxwell

This is one of those truths that you certainly see a lot clearer as you get older. Well guess what?? I’m coming up on 52 years old, and my eyesight might be getting a little worse – but I can see this statement as clear as day!

There are two parts for me. First, I do see myself separating a little bit from others. I know it’s due to me working on my self-improvement and it’s coming from a few different areas. One of the things that is holding me back is me! The self-esteem / self-confidence component of all of this always is in play for me. It always has been, all throughout my life. It is on my long list of things to keep working on – that list is growing all the time.

Secondly, I see this fact in others as well. Not only am I very proud of the people I know and see them growing, but I’m also learning from them and it’s helping me – BIG TIME! Hanging around people that are going after new and exciting things in their lives, help those that are witness to it. Especially if you are asking them for advice and for them to share their stories with you, realize that is pure gold!!

This brings up the fact that there are so many pieces to our own “success” puzzle, we just have to look for them. It’s all up to us. We can’t blame this on others if we choose not to improve ourselves. It’s totally on our shoulders. Today more than ever before there are plenty of tools that we can use to do this. Just look at our smart phones. We have so many options to connect with self-improvement lessons. I also think that there has never been a better time to work on self-improvement than there is today. The upside has so much attached to it, more than ever before. The question is – will you do it?

A Better Version Of Ourselves Is Always Available

1/2/2018

“No matter who you are, no matter what you did, no matter where you've come from, you can always change, become a better version of yourself.”
― Madonna

The new year is always famous for helping us to think about all the changes we want to make in our lives. If you are like me, there are probably many that you would like to make. I think a key for me is that I finally figured out that this can happen each and every day and not just on January 1. It's something that is there for any one of us to work on improving ourselves, our lives, our circumstances, etc. It comes down to making a decision along with getting rid of old habits and creating new ones in their place.

So many people look at the rich and famous as if they are special and what they have in their lives, nobody else can ever have. For many of the rich and famous there is usually a back story of hard work, sacrifice, and overcoming adversity & failure. We can also have success in our lives since we can do those exact same things - put in the hard work, sacrifice things that will help us get there, and we certainly don't have to let adversity & failure stop us.

So this day - not just this new year - that is my plan, to take this montra, this mindset, that I want to keep working at improving myself and everything that I do. The great thing about it is that I have so many choices to choose from as to what I can work on. I bet you have a few too. Maybe not as many as I have, but still, enough for you to choose from. When I think about this, I get fired up!! There is no time like the present to get going on self-improvement. So why not start today? And do it again tomorrow, and the next day and the day after that and just - keep - going!!

The Possibilities Are Endless For Us!!

10/19/2017

“What we do and what we accomplish is only the tip of the iceberg of what’s possible for us.” —Les Brown

If you are like me, you have heard this statement before, or at least something close to it. I think for many people this statement not only becomes really clear as they get older, but it also begins to clear up that we did not go after those things we wanted to throughout our life. It’s usually at that point that another thought crosses our minds - we now realize we are running out of time as we continue to get older.

Another part of this story is that we get this a little bit when we are young because our adult path through life has not started yet when we are still in school. We start seeing things that are possible when we are out doing things in our lives. We connect with people and find opportunities through them. If we are lucky, we will get to know them and they just might become good friends who are encouragers and difference makers with us. That’s where some special magic can happen, when we have others pushing us towards our dreams and goals. It becomes a lot easier that way instead of just ourselves trying to do it.

I’ve also come to realize that we need constant motivation, positive thoughts, energy, focus, great people around us, doing things everyday that we have a passion for and countless other things that help to make life great. Podcasts, reading great books, creating great habits, etc., are all ways to help in these areas. We can’t get caught up in negativity, hatred, gossip, etc., and that is directly connected to our thoughts and to those we have around us. Since we have control over our thoughts and who we let into our lives, it must be easy. Yea…. Right!!

Start today. Look at where you are at. Realize you have just scratched the surface as to what you can do and who you can become. There is really endless room for improvement. That’s a very good thing. It can happen in little baby steps – every day!

Today Is Slipping By - Who Is Noticing?

2/21/2017

“We are so involved in yesterday and tomorrow that we never even notice that today is slipping by.” – Jim Rohn

I’ve heard this over and over again lately from so many different people – time is just flying by. People can’t believe how fast time is going by. I have the same opinion too. I am totally amazed that I have turned 51 last week. In many ways I feel older (arthritis, recent surgeries I’ve had, my eyesight is changing on my big time, etc.) Then in other ways I am amazed that I am this old since I still love what I do, I have energy for teaching and coaching basketball, enjoy getting up every morning, and I feel energized with new ideas and new things I’d like to accomplish and go after in my life.

Brian Buffini, whose podcast I really enjoy listening to, has said that the days are long and the years are short. Meaning past years always are hard to remember the details of them, I think since they are full of 365 days in each one. While it sometimes seems that the day we are in the middle of, is really long at times while we are in the middle of it. I can’t tell you how often I have thought about this line along with sharing it with others and they totally agree with the fact that he is right on target with this statement.

This idea from Brian ties in to this thought from Jim Rohn too. We are scattered in our thoughts every day and we are not focused on the present; which is really the only thing we can actually do anything about. If you are like me it seems at times that we have so much going on to where it is difficult to focus on one thing at a time to put some good effort into it and accomplishing it and then moving onto something else.

I have recently found another article about Bill Gates and Warren Buffet agreeing that the most important word that contributed towards their success is FOCUS! It really does tie into this statement and it ties into me personally to zero in on this even more and implement it into my life more. My wife has often reminded me (nicely of course) that I have some areas to improve on with Focus. Being the smart guy that I am, I agree with her. (it’s taken many years to agree with her, but I do). Now I see myself actually doing things to try and improve this skill of mine as I do need to notice that today is all I have to do things, to be with the people I want to be with, etc. How about you? What do these thoughts mean to you? I tell my students all the time – the sooner you can connect to ideas like this, the better your life will be.

Conversion Time: Our Weaknesses Into Our Strengths

11/13/2016

"Try to look at your weakness and convert it into your strength. That's success." — Zig Ziglar

There’s not a day that goes by where one of my may weaknesses taps me on the shoulder to lets me know that they are still around. Heck, every day they really don’t have to let me know, I know they are there. I know we all have weaknesses and I think many of us know & admit plenty of them that we have in our lives, but how many of us are willing to do anything about them?

Zig reminds us that we should be conscious of them and look to improve them. Since there are so many of them that some of us have (like me), I guess it’s something of a challenge to turn these into strengths. The way I look at it, I can become an even better and stronger person when first admitting to my weaknesses and then choosing to improve upon them to become better.
As I am sitting here at our kitchen table with the cold 35-degree morning outside; the sunshine is pouring in on me and our dog (who is sitting here with me too just looking outside) and I am warmed by the sun, my coffee and this whole concept that Zig’s talking about and it puts a smile on my face. Why a smile you ask? I have so many areas in my life to get better at, that’s why.

First, it’s an incredible challenge I think to first admit that we do indeed have many weaknesses. Second it’s an equally important challenge to want to do something to improve those areas of our lives. I really kind of chuckle as to all the choices I have to improve and get better. For me it’s easy to identify the areas of improvement, since there are so many. Now the crucial part is for me to start the action steps to actually do something about them.

The other important element is the time factor. None of us have the time that we think we do since it does go by fast and there are really no guarantees as to how much we have. The time is now for us to take those important action steps. For me, my son has actually helped in that he has cleaned our basement so that the table down there is now usable. I can do my school work, work on my blogs, my videos, my podcasts, and other projects that I know that I need to work on.

Cleaning you say? What’s the big deal? To me, there have always been so many excuses, plus I get distracted when I go through things most times. For him to do this, he has eliminated a brick wall for me. Now I not only need to take the lesson from him (action, do something about the clutter in my life) to clean up plenty of things that I know I have to get rid of and I am willing to part with it too. This also helps set the stage for me to do the things that I want to do and I didn’t have a place to do them. A simple act by son, has helped me face some of my weaknesses (procrastination, lack of action & focus, etc.) It’s time to take advantage of this opportunity.

Now, time to feed our dog his breakfast and take him for his walk on this gorgeous morning. Then another cup of coffee when I come back which I will take with me down into the basement to get some things done today before we head out to spend some time with my parents. What weaknesses can you take a look at? Who is there to help you with them or is it up to you to take that first step of action? Either way, look at something today to improve upon and then be willing to do it. As always, look to share this part of your story so you can help others.