Category: Relationships - Coach to Expect Success

The Sting

8/14/2019

The power of reading great books can be life-changing for sure. "Lead With No Apologies" by Jesse A. Cole, Jr. is one of those books. Find the book HERE. One of the main points I wanted to share today was about having an important conversations with your future self. Sounds a little bit strange, I know. But, it's a really powerful concept to try and wrap your head around too.

Think about what your future self would tell you about things that you did well to get you where you will be in the future. Not this can be for a year, five years, whatever time period you want it to be. But also be ready for the tough feedback you might hear from your future self too. Now i'ts not meant to be embarassing or maybe it is. You see, it will only be for you. Nobody else has to know about it. It's not going to be out there all over social media - only if you put it out there will it be.

Hopefully the things that your future self brings up to you, are things that you already know. It's a way to put some skin into the game about fixing things that you know you should fix. I know as I have this important conversation with my future self, many of them in fact - I know it's leading me in a fantastic direction for my life. I hope it can for you too. Remember, your past is your best mentor. Never forget where you came from too. It's connected to your future more than you think. So when you have that important conversation with your future self, remember you both will know and understand those things from your past. You have either learned lessons from those things or maybe you have not learned the lessons yet. Either way, you have the opportunity to start learning from them. That will make for a brighter future too.

Check out more from Jesse Cole at: https://www.kingdommogulcoaching.com/

Examine Our Lives With Gratitude

8/7/2019

Another amazing event that we had this past weekend that came with more life lessons that made a big impact on me. We went to a fantastic wedding - BIG SHOUT OUT to Kelsey & Cody!! Amazing time with so many awesome people. There were so many of my former students there in attendance - besides the bride & groom being former students too. It reminded me as to how much gratitude I have for these "kids" - I guess they will always be my kids eventhough they are all playing the adult game of life & playing it really well. So many of my former students inspire me with not only what they are doing now with their lives, but they also inspired me when they were in high school too. So many valuable conversations that I had with them throughout their years in school. Many times I got so much positive feedback and encouragement from them, that there was a distinct difference they made in my life.

Combined with some items from Brian Buffini's book again - "The Emigrant Edge", all about gratitude. It should be a core value of our lives as it affects really all that we do. I felt so much gratitude at this weeding. Not only for all the great people around, but mostly because I was with my wife! Going to a wedding in which there are great people, great food & drink, fantastic music, a lot of room to walk around, along with watching my wife enjoy herself so much. I'm blessed with so much gratitude having her in my life - for almost 30 years of marriage.

Another BIG SHOUT OUT to Dr. Jeff Lip and his latest guest, Denyse from Canada. I think it was his best show that he has evver done - please check that out (and all of his shows) at www.jefflip.com I hope that after you listen to this show - that you take a more examined look at your life. These two are just a small part of so many great relationships that I have in my life. They make such a difference for me in my life.

Check out that person in the mirror a little more often and ask yourself - "how are things going?". Then work whatever your answers are. I know I'm trying to do this everyday. It's all part of doing your life's "homework." Reach out and let me know how your homework is going?

What A Saturday It Was!

7/14/2019

This past Saturday, July 13 was a great day for two distinct reasons. It all has to do with people that I am blessed to have in my life.

First was an early morning golf outing benefiting a scholarship fund at Lake Shore High School. This was not just any scholarship, it was the Austin Lipscomb Memorial Scholarship fund named after a great kid that lost his life a few years ago. Another key connection is that his dad is a coworker and a good friend of mine. Craig is the backbone of this incredible outing. He is the one, along with family and great friends, who take the time to put this all together. It's always a lot of fun and this year was the same - a lot of fun with awesome people. I got the honor of playing with coworkers & good friends of mine - Todd, Paul and the one and only Dr. Jeff Lip - which by the way was his first time playing golf. He was asking a lot of questions, he hit some really great shots too and of course there was a lot of laughter coming from all of us today. What a great honor it was to raise some money for a great scholarship.

The day capped off with a wedding. Not just any wedding mind you, but one that brought together two more of my coworkers. Donna and Rich got married and what an emotional night it was. These two people are just so down to earth, great friends. Rich was a major difference maker in my life when he introduced me to some fantastic people that taught me a ton about life and leadership. He's been there for me through a lot during the years. A true difference maker for me and really has helped improve me as an educator, coach, husband, heck, as a person. Donna - I've known her from day one when I got to Lake Shore. She's one of the few people there that has been there longer than I have. She has helped me countless times along with (not kidding here) every person in the building, just about every year. You see, for both of them this is there 2nd marriage and they had alot of family there to celebrate with them. The happiness that I saw there, simply brought me to tears. It's what life is all about. Great people celebrating BIG with some amazing people.

The entire day - the long day - was great. It reminded me how blessed I am to have the life that I have. The golf was a lot of fun. We didn't win mind you, but for us, that was not the reason we were playing anyway. My wife looked great for the wedding, so it was a fantastic "date night" that we got to have. Moments like this will stay with me for life. It's all about people and I hope you realize that too. Life's all about relationships and the positive interactions that you can have and the difference you can make for others too.

To Forgive & Forget

11/12/2018

What an amazing article I found on the importance of forgiveness - click HERE to check out the article from Success magazine. It has some great reminders for myself on the skill of forgiveness and the importance that it has on our overall health and well being. Remember, there are studies after studies on this topic that proves in so many different ways the benefits of forgiving.

Not only is it in our own best interest to forgive others but the same goes with ourselves too. It's not about making others feel better about what they did or didn't do - the key is that it lightens our own burden of anger & resentment that actually does more damage to ourselves than the other person. I guess this is another example of how we learn with age some important lessons in life.

I was listening to a great podcast with Brian Buffini and his guest, Dr. Daniel Amen (listen to it HERE), and he had this 18-40-60 rule. When we are 18 we care what everyone thinks about us. When we are 40 we don't care at all what others think or say about us and when we are 60 we realize they weren't really thinking about us at all as they were too busy thinking about themselves. When I heard this, I thought about how true it is first of all, but then I also thought about the importance to forgive others too on this journey of age. One thing that many people do is to hold onto that stubbornness throughout life and then it's too late, as either the other person dies or we die without saying we are sorry. That age progression is a good marker system as to the different stages.

The combination of these ideas really got my week off to a great start and I hope it helps you whenever you read it. Remember, I'm always interested in getting a discussion going on this. Let me know anytime if you have any thoughts and ideas as to this topic.

Do You Have Adaptability?

11/6/2018

Being more adaptable is something that I think comes with age for some people, and for others it means we become less adaptable. I found another great article and it brought up this point about being adaptable, one that seems we don't talk about nearly enough. Find the artcle HERE.

One of the main points that the article hit me with right off the bat is the important fact about how crucial relationships are in life. With people of course comes the opportunity to show how flexible we are, how we are adaptable or not. Our flexibilty is described as our willingess to adapt and that it really comes down to our attitude. Staying with the idea about people, we know how difficult it can be to be adaptable. We also have to remember that since this is one of the most important skills (of many) that we can have in our lives, that automatically means that it won't be easy. Remember - things that are worthwhile, things that mean anything, usually will not come easy. There will be work involved. There will be setback. There is a need for effort to be put into these things.

Some of the pieces of being adaptable is confidence, tolerance, empathy, being positive and having a respect for others. Funny thing is, as I'm typing these words out I'm thinking about how I do these sometimes in my life, and other times I need some major help with them. Another point that comes to mind is that having the willingness to grow in these areas is also something that is needed in order to become more flexible. The world needs more of this, not less. Look at the list of those pieces - do you realize how much more power they represent if you implement them into your life? I know that I need to live more of those in my life everyday.

That empathy idea is a BIGGIE for me, heck, for anyone. It's all aout seeing things from other people's points of view. We have to walk in their shoes and that reminds me that we have to get out of our own shoes first to do that. If you could work on one thing today - try that. Try having more empathy for those that are "differrent" than we are. If we get out of our own shoes first and then step into their shoes, maybe we can not only understand them better, but we also might find that we have more adaptability in our lives. Like the picture says, either we can do the changing or the change will be done for us. :-) It's up to us.

As always - reach out to me if you want to have a discussion. These are always great topics to talk about and get more perspectives on.

Coach Rich Popp - A Difference Maker To Learn From

8/26/2018

Life is about find difference makers and learning from them. It's also and maybe more importantly a key to become one too. Coach Rich Popp was my special guest in a recent podcast - which you can check out HERE. When I sat down and spent some time with Coach, he showed me and every listener why he defines what a difference maker is all about. He is one that not only shows it in everything he does, but he helps others to learn about doing it too. He is one of the many reasons why I am looking forward to going back this school year. Sit back and pick up the clues of success that Coach shares from his long career in education and coaching. Remember, success leaves clues and it's up to us to gather those clues and use them in our lives.

One of the BIGGIES for me is the points he made on relationships - so valuable, so needed in today's world. I see this need more so every day - there will be more of my podcasts and blogs focused in on this fact. You can contact Coach Popp at: Theshorefb@gmail.com Thanks for listening. Please take a few moments to subscribe & share my shows with someone, also leave a 5 Star rating on ITunes or other services where you find this show. Find me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/coachtoexpectsuccess/ on Twitter: @coachtosuccess and on Instagram at: @coachjohndaly

Friday The 13th - Lucky & Blessed To Hang Out With 2 Great Guys!

7/13/2018

Amazing discussion today with 2 very good friends of mine - Mr. Todd Stevens and Dr. Jeff Lip. Some great laughs, some fantastic insights to education, people, relationships, leadership and many other topics on a very lucky, Friday the 13th. You have heard from Jeff before but this was the first of many visits I hope with Todd. Join me in finding a little bit more about both these great educators. Click HERE to listen to show #178. Working with both of these guys in a career that we all enjoy being in, it reminds me how lucky I have to have Todd and Jeff as a part of my life. They are both good men that look to help people. The world needs more of what these 2 are all about.

After we recorded the show I took a drive across the street from the library, back to the neighborhood where my wife and I bought our first house back in 1992. It made me remember how grateful that I am for her and I to get that great start on our home ownership part of our lives. I remember not having a clue about being a "home-owner"! That was supposed to be my parents, certainly not me. I didn't know anything about owning a home. Looking back, we both figured out what we had to do and we are still doing that today after almost 21 years in our current home. Things worked out for both of us for sure way back then.

You can always find Dr. Jeff at his website: jefflip.com on Twitter: @DrJeffLip and you can get in touch with Mr. Todd Stevens at: tstevens@lsps.org or on Twitter: @LSHS_AP Thanks for listening. Please take a few moments to subscribe & share this with someone, also leave a 5 Star rating on ITunes or other services where you find this show. Find me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/coachtoexpectsuccess/ on Twitter: @coachtosuccess and on Instagram at: @coachjohndaly

"Just do the best you can. No one can do more than that." - John Wooden

2/23/2018

This is one thing (of many) that I need to get better at. Coach John Wooden mentions this as part of his definition of success. Doing the best we can, at things we have to do throughout our life, is a great way to approach life. Looking to get better day in and day out is something we all need to look at doing.

Coach Wooden talks about not comparing ourselves with others. We, ourselves, are the only ones we should be competing against. We are the only ones that can control or have a say as to what we do in this competition. There are no referees, no other team going against us - the only opponent for me is me! How cool is it to know everything possible about your opponent? That never happens in sports I can tell you that.

The key for me is to approach each and every day with this attitude of looking to do more and to always try and get better. There are plenty of days where I don't want to do that, I don't feel like it, there are other things to spend my time on instead of self-improvement, a TV show or a game might be on, and the distraction list goes on and on.

One other factor is that I realize when I'm not doing my best and looking back throughout my life - there are plenty of times where I can remember knowing that I was not doing my best. To realize that, especially in the moment, is something that I'm trying to change of course. The younger we connect with this idea, the better off we will be. This goes way beyond sports too. This is in everyday life! Especially with relationships. Seeing that relationships are so important, this is a great concept to connect with. Always try and add value to your relationships with others, especially the really important ones - family & close friends.

This was a weekly quote that I shared with my students and it has caused me to reflect that I need to take these weekly quotes in for me too and not just think that my students need to see it. What about you? Are you finding that you needed this reminder too? I hope so. Drop me a note as to what your thoughts & ideas are about this. Find me on Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/coachtoexpectsuccess/ and on Twitter: @coachtosuccess

Guess what?? I just got onto Instagram!! Find me: coachjohndaly

There Is A Reason We Need To Look Out Through The Windshield And Not The Rear View Mirror

10/19/2016

"There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind." — C.S. Lewis

I often find myself looking back more than looking forward and it's apparent to me now on why at those times, it seems like I'm driving around in circles. I have recently made more of an effort to try and look forward since really that is the only direction that I (and all of us) can go. I can't go back to the past. I can only move forward.

This also brings to mind a quote from the great Jim Rohn where he said "Your life does not get better by chance, it get's better by change." We have the power to change and choose new directions, new ways of doing things, learning from mistakes, and making changes in how we spend our time. He also talks about how we are not a tree - we can move, we can change. That is something that I think we all need to be reminded about more and more, or maybe it's just me?

I've tried looking just at the rear view mirror while driving - it's scary! Now, this was in an open parking lot one time with nobody else around, and it was still scary for the few seconds I did it. It's also the same concept if we look at a bug on our windshield or a crack in it (representing negative things in our lives that we focus on) and that too is terrifying when you are trying to drive a car and your only focus is that one spot on your windshield. You lose focus on where you are going. Yes, I tried that too one time and it was the same, scary feeling.

Our past is there for a reason. It is by far one of our best mentors that we could ever have in our lives. We need to use it as such in order to help ourselves be successful in the future. It's there to help us remember and to get better for our futures. I feel that the stakes are higher for us to figure this point out for two reasons. First is that we don't have all the time in the world to get things done and accomplished. Maybe the second reason is even more important and that is as time goes on we have more and more people in our lives. The relationships with those people are deeper and deeper as time goes on. Things that we do or don't do affect others more as time goes by for those reasons.

One recent example comes from a former student of mine (like so many things that help me just about everyday). I saw a post that Lauren, my former student from a few years ago. She got a letter from a customer where she works that was thanking her for brightening her day every time she came to this business. There were a few visits that she did not see Lauren there and she noticed the difference so much so that she stopped going there for some time. She came back and Lauren was working that same shift again and she made such a difference with this customer again. She wrote this letter to Lauren's bosses to let them know how valuable she was to them.

Lauren's always looking ahead. She did that in school too. She worked so hard knowing that wherever she was going, the good habits she had would pay off. She brings tremendous value wherever she goes. That is something I try and get all my students to realize that's what life is along with being a difference maker to others.

Now to be fair, Lauren had these tools in her tool belt way before she met me. They key lesson to understand we all can do this wherever we are at today. Even if it's at a place that maybe we are not so happy to be at. Until we find a happier place to be, we can still offer great value to others along with making a difference for people too - no matter were we are at. Especially knowing that we are going in a great direction and someday we will be doing even better things, with more people and more places. Thanks to Lauren reminding me about how I need to always do more and get better in this area, she has made another huge difference with me even years later. That is powerful. I hope you see and understand you can do the same thing.

EMPATHY - The Great Connecting Piece Of Life's Puzzle

5/12/2016

“If you can put yourself in the other person’s shoes, even if you don’t agree, then you can often see the issue from their perspective. This will then open the door for collaboration and communication." – Gail Gross

One of the most powerful views we can take in life is that of Empathy. It’s something that is needed in life for sure. Like other important skills in life, it works best the sooner you learn it. Empathy is all about seeing things from other people’s point of view. Looking around the world, it’s easy to see how much it’s needed. We can’t keep waiting for others do things that are right – it’s up to us to start now in trying to make a difference in the world.

It’s one of the skills that I try and promote to all my students. It’s one of the skills that I constantly try and remind myself that I need to get better at. Having people in my life that offer a variety of opinions, thoughts, backgrounds, ideas, etc., makes me a better person. Just because people don’t think the same way as I do, doesn’t mean I can’t be friends with them. In fact the older I get, the more I think I need these variety of thoughts and opinions in my life. It’s funny since also as I get older, I’m getting more set in my ways too. Life sure becomes interesting when you involve others’ point of view.

The ability to put yourself in someone’s shoes and see things from their point of view is something that is such a valuable skill. If you look at disagreements, arguments, problems in relationships; empathy is the main ingredient in helping in these areas. Since life really comes down to the quality and value in our relationships, this skill is one of the main building blocks I think in life.

When I read student feedback about our Leadership lessons and they mention the fact that they do try and use empathy to see how other people are feeling and apply those lessons to their own lives, that is really cool to see. I can’t tell you the number of times as I’m reading those student comments and I start getting the tears flowing (sometimes right into my coffee), really starts my day off in a great direction when I’m reading them in the morning.

My students teach me more than they will ever know. Their teachings, the lessons I get from their stories and feedback are very powerful. It’s one of THEE most valuable experiences I have as a teacher that applies great benefits to my life and also that affects the lives of people that I connect with too. Want some advice? Try it. Try using a little empathy to help you understand others but will ultimately help yourself too.