Category: Relationships - Coach to Expect Success

To Forgive & Forget

11/12/2018

What an amazing article I found on the importance of forgiveness - click HERE to check out the article from Success magazine. It has some great reminders for myself on the skill of forgiveness and the importance that it has on our overall health and well being. Remember, there are studies after studies on this topic that proves in so many different ways the benefits of forgiving.

Not only is it in our own best interest to forgive others but the same goes with ourselves too. It's not about making others feel better about what they did or didn't do - the key is that it lightens our own burden of anger & resentment that actually does more damage to ourselves than the other person. I guess this is another example of how we learn with age some important lessons in life.

I was listening to a great podcast with Brian Buffini and his guest, Dr. Daniel Amen (listen to it HERE), and he had this 18-40-60 rule. When we are 18 we care what everyone thinks about us. When we are 40 we don't care at all what others think or say about us and when we are 60 we realize they weren't really thinking about us at all as they were too busy thinking about themselves. When I heard this, I thought about how true it is first of all, but then I also thought about the importance to forgive others too on this journey of age. One thing that many people do is to hold onto that stubbornness throughout life and then it's too late, as either the other person dies or we die without saying we are sorry. That age progression is a good marker system as to the different stages.

The combination of these ideas really got my week off to a great start and I hope it helps you whenever you read it. Remember, I'm always interested in getting a discussion going on this. Let me know anytime if you have any thoughts and ideas as to this topic.

Do You Have Adaptability?

11/6/2018

Being more adaptable is something that I think comes with age for some people, and for others it means we become less adaptable. I found another great article and it brought up this point about being adaptable, one that seems we don't talk about nearly enough. Find the artcle HERE.

One of the main points that the article hit me with right off the bat is the important fact about how crucial relationships are in life. With people of course comes the opportunity to show how flexible we are, how we are adaptable or not. Our flexibilty is described as our willingess to adapt and that it really comes down to our attitude. Staying with the idea about people, we know how difficult it can be to be adaptable. We also have to remember that since this is one of the most important skills (of many) that we can have in our lives, that automatically means that it won't be easy. Remember - things that are worthwhile, things that mean anything, usually will not come easy. There will be work involved. There will be setback. There is a need for effort to be put into these things.

Some of the pieces of being adaptable is confidence, tolerance, empathy, being positive and having a respect for others. Funny thing is, as I'm typing these words out I'm thinking about how I do these sometimes in my life, and other times I need some major help with them. Another point that comes to mind is that having the willingness to grow in these areas is also something that is needed in order to become more flexible. The world needs more of this, not less. Look at the list of those pieces - do you realize how much more power they represent if you implement them into your life? I know that I need to live more of those in my life everyday.

That empathy idea is a BIGGIE for me, heck, for anyone. It's all aout seeing things from other people's points of view. We have to walk in their shoes and that reminds me that we have to get out of our own shoes first to do that. If you could work on one thing today - try that. Try having more empathy for those that are "differrent" than we are. If we get out of our own shoes first and then step into their shoes, maybe we can not only understand them better, but we also might find that we have more adaptability in our lives. Like the picture says, either we can do the changing or the change will be done for us. :-) It's up to us.

As always - reach out to me if you want to have a discussion. These are always great topics to talk about and get more perspectives on.

Coach Rich Popp - A Difference Maker To Learn From

8/26/2018

Life is about find difference makers and learning from them. It's also and maybe more importantly a key to become one too. Coach Rich Popp was my special guest in a recent podcast - which you can check out HERE. When I sat down and spent some time with Coach, he showed me and every listener why he defines what a difference maker is all about. He is one that not only shows it in everything he does, but he helps others to learn about doing it too. He is one of the many reasons why I am looking forward to going back this school year. Sit back and pick up the clues of success that Coach shares from his long career in education and coaching. Remember, success leaves clues and it's up to us to gather those clues and use them in our lives.

One of the BIGGIES for me is the points he made on relationships - so valuable, so needed in today's world. I see this need more so every day - there will be more of my podcasts and blogs focused in on this fact. You can contact Coach Popp at: Theshorefb@gmail.com Thanks for listening. Please take a few moments to subscribe & share my shows with someone, also leave a 5 Star rating on ITunes or other services where you find this show. Find me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/coachtoexpectsuccess/ on Twitter: @coachtosuccess and on Instagram at: @coachjohndaly

Friday The 13th - Lucky & Blessed To Hang Out With 2 Great Guys!

7/13/2018

Amazing discussion today with 2 very good friends of mine - Mr. Todd Stevens and Dr. Jeff Lip. Some great laughs, some fantastic insights to education, people, relationships, leadership and many other topics on a very lucky, Friday the 13th. You have heard from Jeff before but this was the first of many visits I hope with Todd. Join me in finding a little bit more about both these great educators. Click HERE to listen to show #178. Working with both of these guys in a career that we all enjoy being in, it reminds me how lucky I have to have Todd and Jeff as a part of my life. They are both good men that look to help people. The world needs more of what these 2 are all about.

After we recorded the show I took a drive across the street from the library, back to the neighborhood where my wife and I bought our first house back in 1992. It made me remember how grateful that I am for her and I to get that great start on our home ownership part of our lives. I remember not having a clue about being a "home-owner"! That was supposed to be my parents, certainly not me. I didn't know anything about owning a home. Looking back, we both figured out what we had to do and we are still doing that today after almost 21 years in our current home. Things worked out for both of us for sure way back then.

You can always find Dr. Jeff at his website: jefflip.com on Twitter: @DrJeffLip and you can get in touch with Mr. Todd Stevens at: tstevens@lsps.org or on Twitter: @LSHS_AP Thanks for listening. Please take a few moments to subscribe & share this with someone, also leave a 5 Star rating on ITunes or other services where you find this show. Find me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/coachtoexpectsuccess/ on Twitter: @coachtosuccess and on Instagram at: @coachjohndaly

"Just do the best you can. No one can do more than that." - John Wooden

2/23/2018

This is one thing (of many) that I need to get better at. Coach John Wooden mentions this as part of his definition of success. Doing the best we can, at things we have to do throughout our life, is a great way to approach life. Looking to get better day in and day out is something we all need to look at doing.

Coach Wooden talks about not comparing ourselves with others. We, ourselves, are the only ones we should be competing against. We are the only ones that can control or have a say as to what we do in this competition. There are no referees, no other team going against us - the only opponent for me is me! How cool is it to know everything possible about your opponent? That never happens in sports I can tell you that.

The key for me is to approach each and every day with this attitude of looking to do more and to always try and get better. There are plenty of days where I don't want to do that, I don't feel like it, there are other things to spend my time on instead of self-improvement, a TV show or a game might be on, and the distraction list goes on and on.

One other factor is that I realize when I'm not doing my best and looking back throughout my life - there are plenty of times where I can remember knowing that I was not doing my best. To realize that, especially in the moment, is something that I'm trying to change of course. The younger we connect with this idea, the better off we will be. This goes way beyond sports too. This is in everyday life! Especially with relationships. Seeing that relationships are so important, this is a great concept to connect with. Always try and add value to your relationships with others, especially the really important ones - family & close friends.

This was a weekly quote that I shared with my students and it has caused me to reflect that I need to take these weekly quotes in for me too and not just think that my students need to see it. What about you? Are you finding that you needed this reminder too? I hope so. Drop me a note as to what your thoughts & ideas are about this. Find me on Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/coachtoexpectsuccess/ and on Twitter: @coachtosuccess

Guess what?? I just got onto Instagram!! Find me: coachjohndaly

There Is A Reason We Need To Look Out Through The Windshield And Not The Rear View Mirror

10/19/2016

"There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind." — C.S. Lewis

I often find myself looking back more than looking forward and it's apparent to me now on why at those times, it seems like I'm driving around in circles. I have recently made more of an effort to try and look forward since really that is the only direction that I (and all of us) can go. I can't go back to the past. I can only move forward.

This also brings to mind a quote from the great Jim Rohn where he said "Your life does not get better by chance, it get's better by change." We have the power to change and choose new directions, new ways of doing things, learning from mistakes, and making changes in how we spend our time. He also talks about how we are not a tree - we can move, we can change. That is something that I think we all need to be reminded about more and more, or maybe it's just me?

I've tried looking just at the rear view mirror while driving - it's scary! Now, this was in an open parking lot one time with nobody else around, and it was still scary for the few seconds I did it. It's also the same concept if we look at a bug on our windshield or a crack in it (representing negative things in our lives that we focus on) and that too is terrifying when you are trying to drive a car and your only focus is that one spot on your windshield. You lose focus on where you are going. Yes, I tried that too one time and it was the same, scary feeling.

Our past is there for a reason. It is by far one of our best mentors that we could ever have in our lives. We need to use it as such in order to help ourselves be successful in the future. It's there to help us remember and to get better for our futures. I feel that the stakes are higher for us to figure this point out for two reasons. First is that we don't have all the time in the world to get things done and accomplished. Maybe the second reason is even more important and that is as time goes on we have more and more people in our lives. The relationships with those people are deeper and deeper as time goes on. Things that we do or don't do affect others more as time goes by for those reasons.

One recent example comes from a former student of mine (like so many things that help me just about everyday). I saw a post that Lauren, my former student from a few years ago. She got a letter from a customer where she works that was thanking her for brightening her day every time she came to this business. There were a few visits that she did not see Lauren there and she noticed the difference so much so that she stopped going there for some time. She came back and Lauren was working that same shift again and she made such a difference with this customer again. She wrote this letter to Lauren's bosses to let them know how valuable she was to them.

Lauren's always looking ahead. She did that in school too. She worked so hard knowing that wherever she was going, the good habits she had would pay off. She brings tremendous value wherever she goes. That is something I try and get all my students to realize that's what life is along with being a difference maker to others.

Now to be fair, Lauren had these tools in her tool belt way before she met me. They key lesson to understand we all can do this wherever we are at today. Even if it's at a place that maybe we are not so happy to be at. Until we find a happier place to be, we can still offer great value to others along with making a difference for people too - no matter were we are at. Especially knowing that we are going in a great direction and someday we will be doing even better things, with more people and more places. Thanks to Lauren reminding me about how I need to always do more and get better in this area, she has made another huge difference with me even years later. That is powerful. I hope you see and understand you can do the same thing.

EMPATHY - The Great Connecting Piece Of Life's Puzzle

5/12/2016

“If you can put yourself in the other person’s shoes, even if you don’t agree, then you can often see the issue from their perspective. This will then open the door for collaboration and communication." – Gail Gross

One of the most powerful views we can take in life is that of Empathy. It’s something that is needed in life for sure. Like other important skills in life, it works best the sooner you learn it. Empathy is all about seeing things from other people’s point of view. Looking around the world, it’s easy to see how much it’s needed. We can’t keep waiting for others do things that are right – it’s up to us to start now in trying to make a difference in the world.

It’s one of the skills that I try and promote to all my students. It’s one of the skills that I constantly try and remind myself that I need to get better at. Having people in my life that offer a variety of opinions, thoughts, backgrounds, ideas, etc., makes me a better person. Just because people don’t think the same way as I do, doesn’t mean I can’t be friends with them. In fact the older I get, the more I think I need these variety of thoughts and opinions in my life. It’s funny since also as I get older, I’m getting more set in my ways too. Life sure becomes interesting when you involve others’ point of view.

The ability to put yourself in someone’s shoes and see things from their point of view is something that is such a valuable skill. If you look at disagreements, arguments, problems in relationships; empathy is the main ingredient in helping in these areas. Since life really comes down to the quality and value in our relationships, this skill is one of the main building blocks I think in life.

When I read student feedback about our Leadership lessons and they mention the fact that they do try and use empathy to see how other people are feeling and apply those lessons to their own lives, that is really cool to see. I can’t tell you the number of times as I’m reading those student comments and I start getting the tears flowing (sometimes right into my coffee), really starts my day off in a great direction when I’m reading them in the morning.

My students teach me more than they will ever know. Their teachings, the lessons I get from their stories and feedback are very powerful. It’s one of THEE most valuable experiences I have as a teacher that applies great benefits to my life and also that affects the lives of people that I connect with too. Want some advice? Try it. Try using a little empathy to help you understand others but will ultimately help yourself too.

Quote of the Week - June 9, 2014

6/9/2014

“Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value.” — Albert Einstein

I believe I've had this quote used before, but it struck me this morning as one that had to be repeated as we finish up another school year and get ready for summer 2014. Summer always is a time of hopefully slowing down a little bit, relaxing more with family and friends and also a time for reflection. Hopefully you will find some time to do some reading which is one of the many things I try and do more of during the summer.

Albert Einstein brings up a great point to reflect upon and to try and figure out how we can offering more value to others in our lives rather than just looking to be successful. The older we get the more important I think it is for us to find our purpose in our lives. Not only is the idea to find this purpose, but to also find it as soon as we can along with acting upon doing something about it. It's a message that I try and get my students to start to figure out sooner than later.

I've truly seen more and more of this as I advance through life. The more value you bring to others, the more connections you make with people which leads to more opportunities towards success. The success seems to come in so many ways too. It's not always about money. The money will come with offering more value wherever you go. The real key as I've seen many examples of, is with the relationships that we make throughout our lifetime. Those relationships with others are what leads to more and more opportunities.

So, this summer try and focus on this quote and look for ways to offer more value to others and watch the great things that will happen. Feel free to share with me so I can share with others, some of your success stories.

Look for my blog to continue over the summer - feel free to keep in touch with my contact page on my homepage.

Quote of the Week - June 2, 2014

6/2/2014

“Never forget what is worth remembering nor ever remember what is best forgotten.” – Irish proverb from Doug Evans and his book - "A Leprechaun in your Pocket"

Some of my students and I were lucky enough to hear Doug Evans as a guest speaker in my Principles of Leadership classes last month. He had so many Leadership, Success & Life principles to share with all of us - he did a great job connecting with students. He talked about his initial hesitation and fear of not wanting to write a book. But then he got going (with some other people's encouraging) and wrote parts of other books until he got confident with writing "A Leprechaun in your Pocket".

When I saw this quote posted online from Doug, it connected with me and I wanted to share it with my students too, to help both myself and them to remember those things that are really important in life and to try and not waste time with those things that don't matter. The sooner we can remember what this quote stands for and then implement it into our lives, the better off we will be.

This past weekend I had plenty of reminders on this quote. My daughter had her prom and she looked very beautiful along with her handsome looking boyfriend. We were lucky to have a family picture taken with her, me and my wife and our son too. That picture, along with a couple of other pictures from her final couple of track meets over the last few weeks, are going to be kept by me in some special places - as this is her graduation year. So next weekend is her actual graduation and then her party is after that. I am looking forward to taking it all in and getting more pictures with family and friends to remind me on what is really important in life.

There were also some things that I started getting worked up about - silly, little things that don't really matter in the grand scheme of life (at times it takes me a few moments to remember that fact). That is one thing that I am focused on doing - is that when those moments that come along that are not worth my time, emotion, energy, etc., I am working on recognizing them more for what they are: things to get through, fix, solve, etc., and move on! I need to not let those things take away from the things that are really important. How about you? What are things you are working on to remember more and what things are you working on not keeping with you? Share some thoughts - you never know who you might help with your comments.

You can contact Doug Evans at www.discoveryourmissingpower.com

Quote of the Week - November 11, 2013

11/12/2013

“Time is what we want most, but what we use worst.” -- William Penn

When I saw this quote, it came on the heels of watching a FANTASTIC movie with my wife on Sunday night. We saw "About Time" and then saw a Christmas Tree lighting ceremony and then we made our way to dinner. The movie was one of the best ones I have ever watched as it had so many important messages that I guess I needed to see and hear at that time in my life. The messages are similar to others that I've had before, but I guess it stood out to me more at that time than ever before.

I tell my students over and over again that time is really our most important resource. Unlike most other resources, including money that can be re-used or we can get more of; time is not like that at all. Once it's gone, we can't get it back. As we walked out of the movie I remember thinking that I wanted to really notice what was going on around me. I looked a little bit more at things going on around us that night. At the people, the kids especially - their faces, what they were saying, the gentle smiles that were all around at this outdoor mall's Christmas Tree lighting ceremony.

The dinner that Sunday night with my wife - one of the best we ever had at TGI Fridays no less. I had to fight back the tears that started as I watched the movie (and as I am typing this now) as I thought about how blessed I am and what I have in my life. Like the movie (without giving too much away) - we all have our issues, but the one thing that we have for such a brief period of time it seems is our families and friends, both young ones and the older ones.

First off... see this movie. Secondly, see how you spend your time throughout your days and nights. How we do that dictates a lot of what happens in our lives. The one resource we can't get back is the most valuable to us. We see that some times too late. The key is I think to realize that as we are in those moments so that we can enjoy it while we are in it. Then looking back we will hopefully have less regrets and worries on how we spent those years that seem to go by oh so fast. I sure wish I spent a lot of my past years differently than I did, but I've learned from them that's for sure. What about you? Spend some of your precious time thinking about how we spend it. Then start making some changes; in our thinking, what we say, how we react to others, how we spend our time on our own and with our loved ones. Such an in depth topic here, I know I need some help in some feedback discussions - so, what do you think? Let me and others know.