Category: Growth - Coach to Expect Success

Our Biggest Obstacle Is Ourselves

10/31/2015

“No one limits your growth but you. If you want to earn more, learn more.” -- Tom Hopkins

Today, there is so much information out there to learn about, that it’s really overwhelming. But the truth is that there is more ways of learning new ideas and skills today than ever before. It really comes down to us and whether we want to learn new things in order to become more valuable.

We are usually the ones that get in our own way in life more than others. No one limits our own growth but us. I just saw the quote about the biggest obstacle we have to overcome is the six inches between our ears, which rings with more truth every time I see it. That’s one for the ages for sure, meaning the younger we realize this is truth, the better our lives will be.

I am constantly sharing with my students and my own kids, to become a person of value throughout life. Become valuable to others and you will always have opportunities for things that will help you make a living and to build a life. Remember, do you want to just make a living? Or do you want to build a life of significance and meaning?

In today’s world there seems to be much more of the blame game going on when it comes time to point out who’s at fault for the problems and difficulties in our lives. There is some truth of course that some people’s choices and decisions, do indeed affect us. A very important thought though is that we do not have to continue to let that happen. We do have the power and ability to learn new things and skills that can make us not have to just accept what those other people do and let it affect us and our futures.

This goes a long as a big connector piece to another (of many) big themes of mine. Find things in life that you have passion for and follow them. Whatever we choose to make a living at, make sure your heart is part of the equation as to why you are doing it. This will give a lot more ways of learning more when it comes to making yourself more valuable. Always remember that creating a life of significance is something that may not be easy, but worthwhile things throughout life seldom are easy. If they were easy, everyone would be doing them.

So, as we find ourselves at the end of October, 2015; what are some ways that you can expand your ability to grow and become more valuable? Don’t wait until New Years to make some changes, find some things now.

Grow Through Life... Quote Of The Week

2/15/2015

"Don't go through life, grow through life." -- Eric Butterworth

The first thought I had when I saw this quote was from the character Morrie – in “Tuesday’s With Morrie”, a great movie based on the even better book by Mitch Albom. In the move the character of Morrie, played by Jack Lemmon, made a statement that I think has tremendous power for us living our lives. He said “Age is not just decay, it’s growth!”

What a very true and accurate statement. However, how many of us look at getting older that way? My guess would be not many. I for one, took a while to see it this way and Mitch’s book helped me with this idea that has really helped me.

Looking back over the last year and so much happening to me and my family, the deaths of an uncle, a cousin, a good friend of my son; the illnesses of my dad and my wife’s dad, my two surgeries on my knee and my back, some difficult moments for my kids; these really gave me the time to reflect and grow from these experiences. I know these things are part of life and for most of my life as I got old enough to understand, I knew this was the way life happens.

What I didn’t know was that there are so many opportunities to grow and get better from all of our experiences in life. The ones that cause us a lot of pain, sorry, sadness, feelings of regret, etc.; but also the everyday small moments too. The lessons are there every day, big and small for us to use to help us grow in our lives.

For me, I grew in having more patience with these two surgeries. I had to or else I and everyone around me were going to be miserable. I still don’t show patience every time I should, but I recognize those moments more where I do need to have it. I grew in my love and appreciation for my wife for everything that she has done for me along with trying to do the everyday things she has to do at work and things she is working on for herself too. I also literally grew taller too. With my back surgery on my spine, I gained a half to three-quarters of an inch in height. ;-)

Where are some of the areas that you can grow from in your life? Remember that we are on this journey in life without knowing how long it will be and all the things that will happen to us throughout that journey. Also remember that growth and lessons seem to be more valuable to learn from those things that hurt us, those sad moments, those painful moments; than from the moments where everything goes perfect. Start looking today to not just go through the everyday motions of life – but to go through all of life’s moments to grow and learn from. Always look to do more and get better.

Change Doesn't Always Mean Growth In Our Lives... Quote Of The Week.

10/19/2014

"All change is not growth, as all movement is not forward." -- Ellen Glasgow

As time seems to be flying by faster and faster for a lot of people, we all need to realize that just because things are changing, we need to ask ourselves are we really growing during the changes? Are we getting better? Or are we just staying the same.

So many of us, including myself always seem to be busy, but what are we busy doing? Are we moving forward in our lives? Moving towards the person we want to be?

I was listening to one of my favorite podcasts yesterday while I was mowing the lawn. Sam Crowley talked about defining ourselves and getting to know ourselves and finding out who do we really want to become? The changes that happen in our lives should be focused on helping us to define who we are and where we want to go.

Since we are constantly changing and getting older every day, this advice from Sam really connects with this quote. We really need to focus in on having a say in our life as to what changes we go through, instead of letting changes just happen to us. Since we are moving and doing things every day, we must also focus in on that movement and make sure it’s in a direction that we want it to be in. If we define ourselves as to who we are along with who we really want to be, both of these parts of this equation should make more sense for us.

Remember what Morrie Schwartz said about getting older. It doesn’t always mean decay, it also means growth. Also remember we will decay as we get older without growing, learning, getting better and focusing on where we want to go.

The sooner we figure all of this out, the better we and everyone around us will be. I’m working at figuring this out for me and I hope you are doing the same. Share your thoughts and ideas. I’m always looking forward to hearing what is on your mind.

Quote of the Week - October 7, 2013

10/8/2013

"There are many ways of going forward, but only one way of standing still." -- Franklin D. Roosevelt

Standing still is just not in my plans any more. I look back and there have been a few too many spots in my life where I have stood still and let things go by, let things affect me without doing anything. and even let things affect me where I stop moving forward and blamed those other things. This moving forward idea or mindset has been on my mind for years now. So many things happening in education for example (and life in general too) where standing still is not an option. I have really been focusing on these things that are affecting me - using them to make myself better.

Standing still is just about like giving up. Believe me, there have been plenty of times that I have done just that. It hasn't been permanent though. These things that happen throughout life - all of them are just things that we have a choice about. We can let them affect us, beat us up, change us for the worse or we can take them on, fight back and have them change us for the better. When you look and think about that statement from President Roosevelt, there truly is only 1 way of standing still. You stop. Just take a moment to think about all the different ways there are to keep moving forward. Holy Cow! Are you kidding me? How the heck did he know that this is so true? Simply put, he was a man who lived this statement over and over again throughout his lifetime. We can do the same thing.

As much as I hear just about everyone talking about how fast time is going by - and for me personally it is doing just that - isn't it time that we look at all the different ways there are to move forward in so many areas of our lives? Relationships, financially, spiritually, professionally, fitness wise, the list goes on and on and on. Just take a few minutes to think about just 2 areas where you can move forward in and all the different ways you can do just that. In the time it took to write that last sentence - way more than 2 came into my head on what I can do to move forward in. Not only think about a couple - but share them with me or others... get others thinking about this statement. Show them all the different ways there are to moving forward and not just standing still. I look forward to hearing some of your thoughts as always.

Quote of the Week - July 1, 2013

7/2/2013

"If you could get up the courage to begin, you have the courage to succeed." -- David Viscott

When I saw this quote of course I saw it how it related to me. For a long time, having courage to start things has been a problem for me at times. It's amazing that during those times, once I get started on things it gets easier as time goes on. For me, and I think for others too, just to get started on something is the most difficult thing to get through. The worry, the thoughts of how difficult it might be, and yes the thoughts about failure come to mind too.

I was listening to Les Brown yesterday along with some things from Zig Ziglar too. Both speakers had amazing messages and both touched upon this subject. Waiting to get started on doing something due to fear of failing, robs so many people of things that could benefit not only themselves but a great number of other people too. I think for me, that has been an issue for some time. The old saying is that a lesson is repeated until a lesson is learned. That is something that I guess I've been going through for some time now.

Les Brown also brings up another great point. He mentions the idea that the most valuable piece of real estate is the grave yard. I believe he's right. He mentions that most people die with their "music" still in them. All the great ideas they had, but never acted upon. All the great intentions, that never were started. Les mentions that all those great inventions and things that would have helped so many people, are all gone now. Every time I hear Les talk about that, I know he's talking to me. I'm wondering, is he talking to you too? Do you have challenges getting the courage up to get things done or even get things started? As always, I enjoy hearing from others on this subject because I can always use more help in learning about getting better. I also know that other people need help too. Funny thing, Les mentions that too. We need to remember that we all need help in getting better and learning more. We don't have all the answers and cannot do it all on our own. Please, let me know your thoughts and ideas on this and any other items here on my blog.

Quote of the Week - June 24, 2013

6/27/2013

"It's time to break our ties with anything in us that would rather complain about its situation than go to work to change it." - Guy Finley

We always hear about the fact that we have to break ties with OTHER people that complain and are negative all the time. But what happens when that someone is us?

As summer continues hopefully we have some time to relax a little and spend some time thinking about how we can make some changes on ourselves that will produce some new results. In last week's quote - 2 major subject areas came up. Life and People. Those two subject areas are crucial to success for sure. I think the one main piece that fits in with the topic of Life is ourselves. We always seem to get so worked up about what other people say and do, yet the truth is that we can't do anything about changing them at all. The only thing we can do is to work on ourselves.

Another key point to realize and understand sooner than later, is that working on ourselves is not so easy to do. Since we live with ourselves 24/7 and not only do we battle our own inner voice - which studies have shown we feed ourselves more negative feedback than positive - we also take in outside opinions from others as to how good or bad we are doing in life.

This quote really struck a cord with me, a big connection. Looking back throughout my history, I can see that my action steps have been lacking in many areas and that I am really the only one that can do anything about it. Now, I am finally working hard at changing those areas. Once again, I sure do wish I got working on this earlier in my life. But I am also very happy that I'm doing something now about it more than I did before.

What about you? Did you figure out this quote as being true a long time ago? What are some of the success stories that you have with having a victory over yourself that might be a help to others? Always looking for new ideas and new ways of thinking. I'm on a mission to keep getting better.

Quote of the Week - June 10, 2013

6/9/2013

“With everything that has happened to you, you can either feel sorry for yourself, or treat what has happened as a gift. Everything is either an opportunity to grow, or an obstacle to keep you from growing. You get to choose.” ~ Wayne Dyer

Wayne hit it right on the head with this thought of his. We all have things that happen to us, every single day. The power is in the choice that we have, not only on how we let it affect us but more importantly how we will react to it. Looking back I can easily see that I've let too many things get me down which in turn has kept me from moving forward. Part of it is my personality, but since I know that, I actually can not let that stop me. I'm really trying to look at things from the side of trying to find the opportunity in things that happen.

It reminds me about those brick walls that Dr. Randy Pausch talks about. Things that get in our way and it causes us to ask ourselves how bad do we want to get through the brick wall and go after what we want. It sure would have been nice to have this idea earlier in my life. But the key is not that I do, I need to not only use it but I also need to help others see it sooner than I did.

I also think that it helps to have those goals and dreams in our lives too. When things happen, they can help us focus on the things that we have to do, to either let whatever happened to us help us or if we will let it hurt us and slow us down. If we have enough goals and dreams that we are chasing after I think this is a little bit easier to get around those things that pop up in our lives.

What do you think about Wayne's quote? Any thoughts or ideas to help me and probably others too? If you haven't gotten a chance to listen to or read any of Wayne Dyer's materials, I suggest you look into doing just that.

Quote of the Week - April 1, 2013

4/1/2013

Even with a break from school - I still wanted to get some thoughts out.

"Learn from your failures or be conquered by them." - from livelifehappy.com

This quote just jumped right out at me from two standpoints. First, learn from your failures is something that I know I need to always focus on in my life. Sure wish I had a clue about that earlier, but now I do. Failures happen, but we need to learn from them, make adjustments and move on. So many times I see myself and others making mistakes and failing... but then we don't learn from them. Ouch! Life is all about mistakes happening. Life has failures in it everyday. But we don't have to choose to keep making them over and over again, do we?

Second, if we don't learn from our failures and we don't make adjustments to become better or to get through those things that we struggle with - those failures will end up holding us back, really conquering our futures. There are obviously so many different levels to this as there are different levels of failures. Another key element to this that when we don't learn from these failures, they will also affect the other people in our lives that we are connected to.

Too many of my failures and shortcomings that I've had in my life have affected my family. Whereas if I would have learned from them and gotten better, things could be more positive in many ways for me and my family. These really end up getting in the way of our relationships in life. Which, if you haven't figured out by now, are really what's important in our lives.
Any thoughts or ideas on this? Have you thought about how things like this might be getting in the way for you? Always looking for discussion points.

Quote of the Week - March 18, 2013

3/18/2013

"Every challenge is nothing more than a chance to make things better." - Lolly Daskal

This in itself is an amazing quote due to the simple fact that since we have challenges just about every day of our lives, we have the chances every day to make things better. Some people have more challenges than others so they really have the opportunities to make significant changes in their lives to make things better.

Another key to this thought I think is that not only can it help ourselves in our own life, but those that we are connected to as well. You see, all the people that are connected to us in our lives also face challenges. If we are able to have this way of thinking to help ourselves, we can also help those around us too. If you haven't noticed the world if full of challenges each and every day. Instead of complaining, criticizing, condemning about them and letting those challenges dictate life to us, we have the ability to look at how we can get better from this. We can spend our time looking to solve these issues or at least work towards making them better.

Funny thing is, it's taken me so long to figure this out. Actually, I'm just starting to not only figure this out, but maybe even actually doing something about these things. Do I wish I figured it out sooner in life? You bet I do. I try and get my students to start thinking about these things sooner than I did. I always tell them to learn from me and others so they can do things differently than we did. Even today as I write these thoughts and ideas over a cup of coffee before I start my day, there are many things that I need to work on and this morning I did work on one small little thing instead of putting it off like I normally do. I look at that choice and I know my day today (a Monday) will start out better than normal all because of a choice I made to do something different this morning.

How about you? What challenges are you going through that you are trying to make things better? Remember, we can learn so much from each other. I love being a teacher because I can help others get better. But the flip side is more true than that.... I get to learn from others. So drop me a note, leave some thoughts and ideas for me and others to learn from and make things better for you and others too.

Quote of the Week - March 11, 2013

3/12/2013

"The things which hurt, instruct." - Benjamin Franklin

I think the older you get the more this quote connects with you. They key is to have this (and other ideas like it) connect to you early in life rather than waiting for getting older to help you figure it out. I tell my students all the time, feel free to learn from me and others that are older than them so you don't take the time that we did to figure things out.

Learning more about Ben Franklin really shows me how smart he was. Those things that really matter in life, usually hurt us at some point in time and we have to learn from them. Life is full of teachable moments, we just have to look upon those moments as being able to learn from them rather than getting all upset and ticked off at those moments. Ben brings up so many important points about how we should live our lives. He learned many lessons himself about how he had to improve the way he did things. If you can find any of his writings, I suggest you take the time to read them.

So even if you don't like history, check out Ben Franklin. Not only is he a very wise man for the history of country, but he also learned some things about people and himself too. In life, improving ourselves and how we interact with others is one of the most important things we can deal with throughout our lifetime. What are your thoughts? Is Ben correct?