Category: Choices - Coach to Expect Success

Courageous Leadership

7/15/2022

Found something that really connected with me from John Maxwell and I hope it connects with you too. The top 10 list here on some thoughts on Courageous Leadership, I think, is something that can help all of us. Even if it's just one of the ten things he shares here. Try them. I did a podcast on this topic as it was really got me thinking about some things that are currently going on for me. Replay this one to make sure you get some notes on this list. You can find it HERE.

This list has inspired me to have little "wins" every day. In making even the smallest choices - at times it might seem as not a big deal type of decision - I know if I pile up enough little wins, things will continue to get better for me. Like I've brought up before... the better days I have now will not only bring me a better future, but it helps me to create a stronger past - a past that I can keep learning from and growing from. Amazing that it's taken me this long to learn this. But, I'm so happy I've connected with it AND, I know I need to be reminded about just about every day.

See the images below from the Kindle App that I have John Maxwell's "Daily Reader":

Success & Failure - Both Don't Last Forever

2/9/2022

My friend Coach Ray puts these quotes out all the time & this one (like the others) are full of great lessons for me and anyone else that wants to take them in. It's a great reminder that both successes and failures, don't last... but they do affect our futures for sure. I find myself looking back to yesterday even, and there were good things that happened yesterday for sure. I look to continue those good things today. But to do that, my actions, choices, decisions, etc., need to be aligned with those things.

Just as there were some not-so-good things that happened yesterday, I want to learn the lessons from that hopefully to not have my actions, choices, decisions, etc., give me those same results. Again, it's tied into one of the best pieces of advice that I've ever found - and I share it often... "our past is our best mentor."

I also love that part of it where it reminds us that we "must pay the toll" of what success is. Sometimes it's paid in the failures we go through & the struggles that are usually associated with them. We can turn those into "currency" in order for us to use them on better times in our future. Again, things like this are always great reminders for us to take with us throughout our days.

No Reserves. No Retreat. No Regrets

6/21/2020

Here is another lesson that I recently got from John O'Leary's book, "In Awe" and he brought up this thought of No Reserves. No retreat. No regrets. He mentions this mindset from a story of William Borden (click on his name for his amazing story.)

No Reserves

This was a reminder to Borden to make sure he was taking everything he had, all of his gifts, all of his thoughts & insights of things, all of his kindness & compassion; and to put it all out there for being a difference maker to others. To really be a light for someone else's darkness. I take this as Sam Crowley always says, to use up all the toothpaste in our tube of what our lives are. Not to be on our deathbed with things still left undone, unsaid to others and things not tried. It's something that has been on my mind more and more in my own life. (that's why this post hit close to home for me.)

No Retreat

Borden wrote of this as to not go back home to an easier life, one with money, priviledge, etc. He found strength in that to help keep him focused on what his mission in life was. This reminds me to not retreat back to an easy life. Remember, looking to make things easy now, in our early life - it will make things much more difficult later in life. We need to reverse this. Work hard now in our lives, things will be difficult and challenging, but later in life, it will get better. Everything I now do are grounded in the fact that I'm proud of being a teacher and a coach and I know that I have made a difference with so many people and look to continue to do so. No retreat from being an educator.

No Regrets

This one ties it all in. John O'Leary wrote "don't get to the end of your journey and realize the life you lived was not yours. Don't forget that you are free to choose. Right now." We all have THE CHOICE for how we live our lives. If we don't like where we are going or where we are at, we can change things in our own life. We can think differently, we can make different choices, we can choose to get better. This also brings in the fact of (at least to me) how we can't continue to blame others or blame the circumstances that happen to us.

Unfortunately in today's times, I see this happening way too much and to tell you that I don't want to be a part of that way of thinking. I think the blame game that so many people are playing is a direct recipe to have plenty of regrets in life, to retreat from things that will help us in the long run, and to have tons of reserves in our tank when we die. Not taking responsibility for our own lives will lead to the opposite of all three of these. Bottom line, I'm looking to take control of my life in these 3 areas. For example (as so many people are getting worked up about this) I'm not going to let any elected official be the difference maker in my life. Doesn't matter who is in any elected position in any form of our government as to how I choose to live my life and that I need to make sure that I follow this formula: No reserves. No retreat. No regret. How about you?

Perspective - 3 Short Stories To Help

10/29/2019

Found 3 very short stories to help us see and think about having a little more Perspective in our lives. The 3 stories are HERE.

The first of these 3 stories is about "The Muddy Road" - 2 monks are walking and one stops to help a lady out of the mud. So he carries her to safety and puts her down and continues on his way. The other monk is worked up that he did that since they are not supposed to be around females, let alone touch one. The one who helped the lady mentions that he left her back there, why is he still worried about her? Carrying on a worry, burden, etc., does not good for our future. That enables us to keep having that one event cause us more problems than it originally did back when it happened. I know we need to learn from this mistake, maybe even remember some moments of it so we can learn and get better. I also try to let it go. I'm not always successful with that, but I know I need to.

The second story is titled "The Two Wolves" where a grandfather is telling the story to his grandson on how we all have 2 Wolves inside of us.. the good one and the bad one. The one that wins is the one we feed the most! The negative or positive voices we have... that's the key. We all battle with trying to do the right things in our life and we can be our own worst critic for sure. But it is shown over and over again which ever "voice" we let drive us, the one we "feed" the most is the one that will control our thoughts, etc. The key is WE have choice.

The final of the 3 stories is "The Farmer's Fortune" - so many things happen to this farmer and his son, and every time a neighbor says to him "that's too bad that happened..." or "isn't it fortunate that that happened...". The farmer responds the same each time... "perhaps" is all he says. He doesn't pile on in misery & complaining when things are not going well, nor does he get all fired up when things are great. He stays even keeled... no emotional swings or reactions... that's a great message for all of us. It's far more important as to what our reaction is compared to what actually happened to us. We never know the next door to open tomorrow no matter what we went through today.

This was a good and quick exercise to try. Click on the file link above and see what you can get out of these stories as far as perspective goes. Then let me know your thoughts. :-)

Reminder for me...

5/4/2019

"Don't compete with others; make them compete with you."

This was a quote I mentioned awhile back in one of my podcasts and it took a friend of mine - Coach Ruekert, to remind me of that. Of course you can take a look at sports for this connection as I am sure that I used this during last season with our girls basketball team. But looking at it again, I need to use it for my everyday life too. In fact, probably more important that I do that. I know there are plenty of things that I just have to start doing instead of watching others do what they are doing.

The competing with others in one area is time. My time is being spent on things & people, where it's probably not the best place to be spending it on. When I'm talking about people, this morning in fact I spent a little bit of time watching Sports Center. Nothing wrong with that of course but after getting caught up with the world of sports (which I enjoy), instead of watching more, I knew I had to get caught up on my blog. I knew I had to follow up with a couple of important people and reach out to them online. I knew I wanted to get my day started running some errands that need to be done. All of this instead of competing with watching others (tv) go after their dreams and goals.

It takes a little reminder like I got from Coach R, to get my head focused on where it needs to be and to start taking action in the areas that I need to. So, as I head off to start my day - I want you to take a look at the quote above and see where you are competing at - or who are you competing with. The TV? Friends? Your job? What could you do right now to where you are doing something you know you need to do and to have others wonder about the great things you are doing. :-)

Happiness - It's Something We All Look For

5/8/2017

“Happiness is not an accident. Nor is it something you wish for. Happiness is something you design.” — Jim Rohn

It’s one of the main things that all of us (at least most of us) are looking for in life. I know I want to be happy in my life and that I want to do things to bring more of it to me and those that I care for.

I think as we get older, what we know about happiness changes to more of a simple definition. I see it being about relationships, people, simple and quiet things. When we are young I think it’s more along the lines of looking for happiness in many different places and with many different things. Looking back on my life so far, I wish I would could have grasped this simpler definition on happiness and used it. One big key for me is that I have it now!

Robert Holden brings up a great point for us to always remember – We do not become happy because we are successful; we become successful because we are happy. Notice how it has nothing to do with money or things. While thinking about this topic, an equation popped into my head: Wanting to bring happiness to others = more of it for me.

Jim Rohn is right, which doesn’t come as a surprise, happiness is by design. It doesn’t just happen or fall into our lap. It has everything to do with the way we think, our choices in life and the circumstances we have around us – namely the people we have with us on our journey. There are so many decisions that we make every day that are connected to our happiness. So many little things that we can do and plenty of those things that are all under our control.

One of the major items that I think is directly connected to happiness is that of kindness. Shaunti Feldhahn says it well with kindness being about 3 things: withholding unkindess things, saying kind things and doing kind things. Again, things that we can control and I love things that come as a set of three. I can remember them.

Another major item on the list of happiness and it’s big everywhere, that is having an attitude of gratitude. I’ve been focusing on this for a couple of years now, especially in the morning as I get up with my first cup of coffee and it has been helping me tremendously. I know this and other things can help you too. You must admit, living a life with more happiness in it is far better than not having it. Right? Always looking for some feedback, conversation, comments, etc. :-)

Great Philosophy To Look At For Ourselves

1/10/2016

"My philosophy is that not only are you responsible for your life, but doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment." — Oprah Winfrey

What a great way to start thinking for the start of 2016. There are certain people in the world that we should listen to, Oprah is one of them. The results that she has in many areas should show us that listening to her might help us in some way. Some people may not like her, but that doesn’t mean you can’t learn valuable lessons from. I for one, like her and admire her for what she has done throughout her life and I realize she has some valuable lessons that I can learn from.

There are two huge lessons in this quote. First, we are indeed responsible for our own life. We can think on our own, make choices on our own, get up and do things, go places, connect with people we want to connect with, choose our career that we want to go after, choose what we say, etc., the list goes on and on and on. It all has to do with our habits and our thinking. The input we put into our heads, the information that we choose to let affect us – that is what helps or hurts us as we go through life.

The second part is equally as important. Those choices and decisions we make, not only affects us in the here and now, but it also sets the table so to speak about where we go in our future too. It’s so important to recognize the fact that the choices, thoughts, decisions, etc., that we make today, does indeed affect the direction of our tomorrows.

The sooner we take responsibility for ourselves and our futures, the sooner we can go into a great direction that will make a difference in our lives. It also makes a difference with each and every person we come into contact with too as we do affect others. Notice, we affect others – as other people affect us too. It’s a fine line of how much we let others affect us and our lives. We have to look towards surrounding ourselves with good people. Those that add value to our lives and are a positive influence on us. This helps in our making decisions and choices that truly affects our lives and our futures. It’s true on the other side too. If there are people that influence us that take away value, that affect us negatively – there are results that come with those relationships too.

Always remember this too – we affect others as well. Are we adding value to others? Or are we taking value away from them? Which one do you want to be? A few good thoughts to get us going into 2016.

Watch The Social Media Posts!!

7/30/2015

Real interesting article here on a star football player losing out on a few things due to his negative social media posts. This is something I am on my students and my own kids all the time - some of them listen, some don't. All of us need to be aware of this in all that we do on social media.... we don't have to like it, or think it's fair... but it sure is real!!

Check out the article HERE

We Only Have One Life To Live - It's Up To Us To Get It Right!

6/26/2015

"You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough." – Mae West

This is one thing that I think most people understand about life. Or at least if you didn’t, you should. We truly need to understand the fact that we don’t get out of this life alive! Mae is right, if we do it right, once will indeed be enough.

Throughout our lives there are so many things that happen that affect us and our future. From the decisions our parents make when we are little and can’t decide things for ourselves, to those that we make as we get older. Those choices and decisions, both major and minor, affect not just us but it also affects those around us too.

We need to remember that since we only get one shot at life here on earth, we need to do some things differently in order to do it right. Life is the school that we are in and everyday is the classroom. There comes a simple yet very important fact about the need for us to learn everyday in life. There are constant lessons that help guide us along the way of trying to live this one life that we have in the correct way.

Everyone has different views of how to “do it right.” That is both the beautiful and harsh thing about life is that it’s up to us. There is no manual that we have to follow page by page. But if there were, here would be a couple of the chapters in that book (in my case it would be the book on life for dummies) J

One would have to be about the fact that our lives are up to us to live. We have the total responsibility on how to live our lives, what direction we want to go in, the thoughts and ideas that come into our heads, and definitely the action needed to do things is totally up to us. The fact that we need to guard our thoughts and ideas that come into our minds is a crucial one. It has been said that the most valuable space in the world is the six inches between our ears. Yet most people, including me, don’t guard and protect that half a foot of space enough. It’s never too late to post a guard to the entrance of our minds along with realizing the power of the things that go on in between our ears that affect our entire life.

Another chapter for sure would have to be about other people. How important it is to have good people around us that help us throughout life instead of hinder and cause problems for us throughout life. Who we hang out with directly affects those thoughts and ideas that get into our heads for sure. But we also need to love people where they are at and understand they too are on their own path in their lives. They too struggle with things as we all have those struggles and issues that we must deal with for sure every day in our lives. This does not mean that we should let their issues and problems get in the way of our journey that we must continue on. Doesn’t mean we can’t try and help them, be there for them, listen to them, etc., but we cannot let others negatively affect us in going in the direction that we know we must go towards.

Obviously there would be many more chapters and the cool thing is there are those chapters that we are in charge of writing in our own book of our own lives. What is your book all about? What direction are you heading in? What are you going after in your days that you have left? Listen to my podcast and I will tell you more of what I’m going after along with hopefully helping you figure out what you are going after in your life. Always let me know any thoughts and ideas that you have that can help others, including me on this journey we are all on together.

Is The Glass Half Full or Half Empty? There's More To This Story - Quote Of The Week!

1/25/2015

"The contents of the glass don’t matter; what’s more important is to realize there’s a pitcher of water nearby. In other words, we have the capacity to refill the glass, or to change our outlook." -- Shawn Achor

Anybody thirsty? There is nothing like having a full glass of cold water to quench our thirst when we find ourselves really thirsty on a hot sunny day. It is such a relief, an energizer, a re-focusing moment where we can feel better after we drink it.

There is also the question with this glass of how we view life. Is the glass half empty or half full in our outlook in life? Most of us know people where we can see how they view their glass of water just by their actions and words.

The key from this thought that Shawn leaves with us is that it doesn’t matter what the content are in the glass, nor does it matter at what level it is in the glass. The important point is that we have to recognize there is a pitcher nearby that we can choose to grab and fill up the glass again and again and again!

That will take effort and thought on our part of course and that’s another piece of the puzzle that many people don’t want to do. Some would rather other people or the government; fill up their glass rather doing it themselves.

If we take care of it ourselves, we get to choose what we pour into our glass. Is it going to be water or will it be some other substance? Will it be things that energize, help us to re-focus, grow stronger, etc.? Will it be things that make us weaker, un-focused and distracted and even make us sick? This connects with the fact that we have a choice as to what comes into ourselves and into our life that we want for ourselves.

We all can start to build a more positive outlook by asking ourselves these questions: How can I reach out and better connect with my co-workers, neighbors, family or friends? What are some ways my actions make a difference to the world? What am I proud of accomplishing today?

You can start off the week thinking about these things and I bet by the end of the week, you will be able to look back on some very positive moments. You can share some thoughts and help not only yourself but others too.