Category: Life Lessons - Coach to Expect Success

The Sting

8/14/2019

The power of reading great books can be life-changing for sure. "Lead With No Apologies" by Jesse A. Cole, Jr. is one of those books. Find the book HERE. One of the main points I wanted to share today was about having an important conversations with your future self. Sounds a little bit strange, I know. But, it's a really powerful concept to try and wrap your head around too.

Think about what your future self would tell you about things that you did well to get you where you will be in the future. Not this can be for a year, five years, whatever time period you want it to be. But also be ready for the tough feedback you might hear from your future self too. Now i'ts not meant to be embarassing or maybe it is. You see, it will only be for you. Nobody else has to know about it. It's not going to be out there all over social media - only if you put it out there will it be.

Hopefully the things that your future self brings up to you, are things that you already know. It's a way to put some skin into the game about fixing things that you know you should fix. I know as I have this important conversation with my future self, many of them in fact - I know it's leading me in a fantastic direction for my life. I hope it can for you too. Remember, your past is your best mentor. Never forget where you came from too. It's connected to your future more than you think. So when you have that important conversation with your future self, remember you both will know and understand those things from your past. You have either learned lessons from those things or maybe you have not learned the lessons yet. Either way, you have the opportunity to start learning from them. That will make for a brighter future too.

Check out more from Jesse Cole at: https://www.kingdommogulcoaching.com/

Examine Our Lives With Gratitude

8/7/2019

Another amazing event that we had this past weekend that came with more life lessons that made a big impact on me. We went to a fantastic wedding - BIG SHOUT OUT to Kelsey & Cody!! Amazing time with so many awesome people. There were so many of my former students there in attendance - besides the bride & groom being former students too. It reminded me as to how much gratitude I have for these "kids" - I guess they will always be my kids eventhough they are all playing the adult game of life & playing it really well. So many of my former students inspire me with not only what they are doing now with their lives, but they also inspired me when they were in high school too. So many valuable conversations that I had with them throughout their years in school. Many times I got so much positive feedback and encouragement from them, that there was a distinct difference they made in my life.

Combined with some items from Brian Buffini's book again - "The Emigrant Edge", all about gratitude. It should be a core value of our lives as it affects really all that we do. I felt so much gratitude at this weeding. Not only for all the great people around, but mostly because I was with my wife! Going to a wedding in which there are great people, great food & drink, fantastic music, a lot of room to walk around, along with watching my wife enjoy herself so much. I'm blessed with so much gratitude having her in my life - for almost 30 years of marriage.

Another BIG SHOUT OUT to Dr. Jeff Lip and his latest guest, Denyse from Canada. I think it was his best show that he has evver done - please check that out (and all of his shows) at www.jefflip.com I hope that after you listen to this show - that you take a more examined look at your life. These two are just a small part of so many great relationships that I have in my life. They make such a difference for me in my life.

Check out that person in the mirror a little more often and ask yourself - "how are things going?". Then work whatever your answers are. I know I'm trying to do this everyday. It's all part of doing your life's "homework." Reach out and let me know how your homework is going?

What A Saturday It Was!

7/14/2019

This past Saturday, July 13 was a great day for two distinct reasons. It all has to do with people that I am blessed to have in my life.

First was an early morning golf outing benefiting a scholarship fund at Lake Shore High School. This was not just any scholarship, it was the Austin Lipscomb Memorial Scholarship fund named after a great kid that lost his life a few years ago. Another key connection is that his dad is a coworker and a good friend of mine. Craig is the backbone of this incredible outing. He is the one, along with family and great friends, who take the time to put this all together. It's always a lot of fun and this year was the same - a lot of fun with awesome people. I got the honor of playing with coworkers & good friends of mine - Todd, Paul and the one and only Dr. Jeff Lip - which by the way was his first time playing golf. He was asking a lot of questions, he hit some really great shots too and of course there was a lot of laughter coming from all of us today. What a great honor it was to raise some money for a great scholarship.

The day capped off with a wedding. Not just any wedding mind you, but one that brought together two more of my coworkers. Donna and Rich got married and what an emotional night it was. These two people are just so down to earth, great friends. Rich was a major difference maker in my life when he introduced me to some fantastic people that taught me a ton about life and leadership. He's been there for me through a lot during the years. A true difference maker for me and really has helped improve me as an educator, coach, husband, heck, as a person. Donna - I've known her from day one when I got to Lake Shore. She's one of the few people there that has been there longer than I have. She has helped me countless times along with (not kidding here) every person in the building, just about every year. You see, for both of them this is there 2nd marriage and they had alot of family there to celebrate with them. The happiness that I saw there, simply brought me to tears. It's what life is all about. Great people celebrating BIG with some amazing people.

The entire day - the long day - was great. It reminded me how blessed I am to have the life that I have. The golf was a lot of fun. We didn't win mind you, but for us, that was not the reason we were playing anyway. My wife looked great for the wedding, so it was a fantastic "date night" that we got to have. Moments like this will stay with me for life. It's all about people and I hope you realize that too. Life's all about relationships and the positive interactions that you can have and the difference you can make for others too.

Sense of Humor Is Key In Life!

6/30/2019

On Thursday, June 27 I got the opportunity with two good friends of mine, Paul & Craig - to see the one and only David Feherty at the Fox Theater in Detroit, Michigan. I have always been a big fan of his throughout his playing & broadcasting careers. So when I saw that he was having his show there, I knew I had to go. Let me tell you - he was incredible!! An absolute joy to laugh so hard for just about the entire 2 hours and 15 minutes that he spoke.

One of the key elements that David talked about was having a sense of humor. Some of his language could be deemed offensive by some people and he made sure that was never his intent. His intent is to show humor in life's ups and downs. In fact, he mentioned one important thing - and I agree with him. It's tough to trust someone who doesn't have a sense of humor. Maybe trust is a strong word, but at least it's tough to work with them, like them or have a good relationship with them. I think many people are drawn to people with a sense of humor in life.

To hear his story of the ups (playing pro golf, winning tournaments, and playing in the Ryder Cup) and the lows (alcohol / drugs, growing up in a war zone, divorce, etc.) and his sense of humor and gratitude are what got him through life. You see, he became a citizen of the United States after he was born in Northern Ireland. The importance of what this country offered him as far as opportunities - he did not take that for granted. During his talk he shared his love and affection for the USA and it was one of the many things that helps to connect him to many people.

I walked out of this show in total gratitude for what he shared with us. Laughing so hard that there were tears in my eyes and to share it with friends made it even more enjoyable. It's been said that laughter is good for the soul, and I totally believe it. I walked out of there more appreciative and grateful for what I have in my life. I also will be focusing on having a sense of humor more in my life, especially when I look at myself. There are many ups and downs in everyone's life and David reminds us to look for those humorus moments and laugh a little bit at them before you go and do something about it.

What Are We Thinking?

5/30/2019

I recently shared this image with my students for one of our weekly blog posts and a few of the responses that have been turned in so far, have gotten me thinking a little bit more about this. Our thoughts really are powerful, and sometimes that power might be causing us more problems than it does to help us. When we have thoughts running through our head - or at least mine - I find myself either being more inspired for the task that I am doing at the time or I'm too busy thinking about something else. With my lack of concentration for the task at hand, I find myself thinking about something else and then at times, stopping the current thing and moving onto something else just because the thought came into my head.

Now knowing that I do that at times - does help so I can stop myself more often to get back on track. Another thing I'm trying is to write a note down quickly about the thought / idea, and come back to it after I finish my current task. This really does affect how I am feeling - mainly about myself, but about life in general. When I'm fired up, feeling good about myself, my life, what I'm doing, etc., it for sure affects how I am acting at the current moment. Too many times when I'm not in a good frame of mind, my actions & words sometime come out in a very harsh way and sad to say, it's mostly at home when that happens.

This concept is very powerful as by reading some student posts and thinking about this post that I'm writing here, I can see how important it is for me to have control over my thoughts, beliefs, feelings and actions. Any moment that any of these are out of whack, I know that I can make an adjustment, just a little change (mostly it's my attitude & effort) that I can fix a little bit and great things seem to happen after that adjustment. It's funny, this point about taking control of our lives, especially our thinking, it's been said that life gets a lot easier when we do this. The things that we cut out that waste our time, make us feel down and to doubt ourselves, the people that are in our lives that whenever we walk away from a conversation with them - we are feeling worse than we did before??? Those are the things we have to fix. Taking responsibility for what goes into our heads, taking control of our thoughts, beliefs, feelings, and actions; it's so powerful (not easy) to do! I'm seeing some BIG TIME results and I want to do more of this. How about you?

Reminder for me...

5/4/2019

"Don't compete with others; make them compete with you."

This was a quote I mentioned awhile back in one of my podcasts and it took a friend of mine - Coach Ruekert, to remind me of that. Of course you can take a look at sports for this connection as I am sure that I used this during last season with our girls basketball team. But looking at it again, I need to use it for my everyday life too. In fact, probably more important that I do that. I know there are plenty of things that I just have to start doing instead of watching others do what they are doing.

The competing with others in one area is time. My time is being spent on things & people, where it's probably not the best place to be spending it on. When I'm talking about people, this morning in fact I spent a little bit of time watching Sports Center. Nothing wrong with that of course but after getting caught up with the world of sports (which I enjoy), instead of watching more, I knew I had to get caught up on my blog. I knew I had to follow up with a couple of important people and reach out to them online. I knew I wanted to get my day started running some errands that need to be done. All of this instead of competing with watching others (tv) go after their dreams and goals.

It takes a little reminder like I got from Coach R, to get my head focused on where it needs to be and to start taking action in the areas that I need to. So, as I head off to start my day - I want you to take a look at the quote above and see where you are competing at - or who are you competing with. The TV? Friends? Your job? What could you do right now to where you are doing something you know you need to do and to have others wonder about the great things you are doing. :-)

Staying Positive When Life Gets Hard

2/7/2019

This article that I had my students look at for one of their recent weekly blog assignments had a great title: "How To Stay Positive When Life Gets Hard." It was a very short article that really focused in on 3 people and their thoughts about staying positive.

"Nothing is ever achieved without some trials and tribulations. The first step in moving beyond those circumstances is to remain positive. Without that, you’ll be perpetually stuck in the situation. No good has ever come from negativity."

— Mark Lee, founder and CEO of MDMartin, LLC

It's a good reminder for all of to remember that our lives do have a lot of ups and downs throughout our time of being on this earth. Remaining positive throughout life is a better way to take on these challenges compared to having a negative one. For some people this is difficult and it helps for anyone to have other positive people around them, reading good information, listening to good information, having things to do in life that are connected to their passions and to taking good care of themselves too. It's totally possible to more possible and again, it will help you figure things out a better than a negative attitude will.

"Stay positive, focus on being mindful and keep a clear head. When problem solving, don’t get discouraged if it doesn’t all go according to plan. You can’t control everything in life or business, so embrace the adversity and dig in even further to drive a positive outcome. The harder you work for something, the more rewarding it is in the end."

— Amanda Ruisi, founder and president of AKR Public Relations

Amanda brings up a fantastic idea here - it has so much to do with our current mindset that we choose to have. Remember, we can't choose what happens to us most of the time, but we certainl can choose how we will react. The old saying about life is 10% of what happens to us and 90% of how we respond. It is worth the hard work. At least if things don't work out, you have practiced by giving great effort so the next thing you need to work on, you already have some good habits going.

"I was diagnosed and treated for cancer when I was 19, and I have a uniquely optimistic and positive outlook as a result. But maintaining that positivity still takes constant effort. When I’m feeling down or overwhelmed, one of the best ways to change my mindset is to focus on gratitude and finding awe in the everyday. For example, when I got burned out from business travel last year, I took time on every flight to focus on what I’m grateful for and to think about how unbelievably awesome it is to be in the air flying."
--Jennifer Benz, founder and CEO of Benz Communications

Even if we are blessed to never have had cancer to deal with personally, my bet is that we all know someone who has had to fight that battle. So this example is an extreme one of course, but it does allow us to see someone who is fighting a HUGE battle and the lessons we can learn from them and their fight that they have on their hands. Learning lessons from others and their stories is something we should always look to do.

Remember that there are plenty of examples out there; articles, books, podcasts, videos, seminars, shows, etc., where we can get some good information in order to create some good habits. Remember what Zig Ziglar's son Tom said "The fastest way to success is to replace a bad habit with a good one." This post hopefully helps you do that.

Making Each Moment Count - Mitch Albom

1/22/2019

The story of Mitch Albom visiting his old professor, Morrie Schwartz and the profound life-changing lessons he learned. His book "Tuesdays With Morrie" is a joyful and hope-filled book that you must check out. It is one of my favorite books of all time! There is even a move that was created from the book, which is again a special life-changing movie that you should watch. Check out the Youtube video of Mitch Albom's speech, HERE. (or you can watch it below)

One of the fist lessons he shares is the fact that after his first visit, Mitch thought about the fact that in his 30's he was not as happy as Morrie was in his late 70's. Mitch had his health, a life in front of him, a great job, etc., and Morrie was dying with ALS disease and he seemed 10X happier! What was that all about? Mitch had to find out more.

With all the visits that Mitch had with his "coach" on Tuesdays, he learned enough to write his book that was set up to help with Morrie's medical bills. Taking vs. Giving. A great lesson about life being so much enjoyable and memorable when we give to others instead of just taking for ourselves. Life is all about giving and the relationships we can establish with others. That's a powerful message that all of us can take. This 12 minute or so video has some powerful & memorable ideas for us to take and make our own. Then we can give them away to help others in our lives. Morrie has had a HUGE positive affect on millions of people's lives. Read the book. Find the movie. Check them out in order to gain the full heartfelt messages and lessons. No kidding, I've watched the movie more than 70 times probably as it's been shown in my classes since it first came out, and I'm still learning new lessons every time I watch it. You can do the same. :-)

Lessons From Coach John Wooden on a TED Talk.

1/1/2019

Coach John Wooden will always be a teacher to me. A fantastic educator who's messages and methods are needed today in our world more than ever. In this video that Coach did for a TED Talk, he brings up so many valuable lessons. One of which is his definition of success and how it is more about us doing our best instead of comparing ourselves to others. That is something that all of us can remember and take with us wherever we go. His dad was one of the biggest difference makers in his life and the lessons that he took with him througout his whole life - and his life lasted just about 100 years!! Now we can take those lessons from his entire life and get them from a video or read them in one of his many books.

The other part to this is from Coach Wooden's "Pyramid of Success"! Again, so many valuable lessons from this document - for 2019 I am looking to gain CONFIDENCE in myself and apply that to things that I need to do - things that I have had to do for years!! I know it's inside of me and I've had glimpes of it before, but there is no time like the present to get this going in my life. SELF-CONTROL is something that I also need to work on. I need to develope better habits, those things that will take me closer to my dreams and goals and not further away. On the flip side there are bad habits that I need to replace. It's been said that the quickest way to success is to replace a bad habit with a good one. That needs to be something I look to do every day! Again - so many valuable reminders from a timeless document that Coach Wooden gave to us.

Do You Have Adaptability?

11/6/2018

Being more adaptable is something that I think comes with age for some people, and for others it means we become less adaptable. I found another great article and it brought up this point about being adaptable, one that seems we don't talk about nearly enough. Find the artcle HERE.

One of the main points that the article hit me with right off the bat is the important fact about how crucial relationships are in life. With people of course comes the opportunity to show how flexible we are, how we are adaptable or not. Our flexibilty is described as our willingess to adapt and that it really comes down to our attitude. Staying with the idea about people, we know how difficult it can be to be adaptable. We also have to remember that since this is one of the most important skills (of many) that we can have in our lives, that automatically means that it won't be easy. Remember - things that are worthwhile, things that mean anything, usually will not come easy. There will be work involved. There will be setback. There is a need for effort to be put into these things.

Some of the pieces of being adaptable is confidence, tolerance, empathy, being positive and having a respect for others. Funny thing is, as I'm typing these words out I'm thinking about how I do these sometimes in my life, and other times I need some major help with them. Another point that comes to mind is that having the willingness to grow in these areas is also something that is needed in order to become more flexible. The world needs more of this, not less. Look at the list of those pieces - do you realize how much more power they represent if you implement them into your life? I know that I need to live more of those in my life everyday.

That empathy idea is a BIGGIE for me, heck, for anyone. It's all aout seeing things from other people's points of view. We have to walk in their shoes and that reminds me that we have to get out of our own shoes first to do that. If you could work on one thing today - try that. Try having more empathy for those that are "differrent" than we are. If we get out of our own shoes first and then step into their shoes, maybe we can not only understand them better, but we also might find that we have more adaptability in our lives. Like the picture says, either we can do the changing or the change will be done for us. :-) It's up to us.

As always - reach out to me if you want to have a discussion. These are always great topics to talk about and get more perspectives on.