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No Reserves. No Retreat. No Regrets

6/21/2020

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Here is another lesson that I recently got from John O'Leary's book, "In Awe" and he brought up this thought of No Reserves.  No retreat.  No regrets.  He mentions this mindset from a story of William Borden (click on his name for his amazing story.)

No Reserves

This was a reminder to Borden to make sure he was taking everything he had, all of his gifts, all of his thoughts & insights of things, all of his kindness & compassion; and to put it all out there for being a difference maker to others.  To really be a light for someone else's darkness.  I take this as Sam Crowley always says, to use up all the toothpaste in our tube of what our lives are.  Not to be on our deathbed with things still left undone, unsaid to others and things not tried.  It's something that has been on my mind more and more in my own life.  (that's why this post hit close to home for me.)

No Retreat

Borden wrote of this as to not go back home to an easier life, one with money, priviledge, etc.  He found strength in that to help keep him focused on what his mission in life was.  This reminds me to not retreat back to an easy life.  Remember, looking to make things easy now, in our early life - it will make things much more difficult later in life.  We need to reverse this.  Work hard now in our lives, things will be difficult and challenging, but later in life, it will get better.  Everything I now do are grounded in the fact that I'm proud of being a teacher and a coach and I know that I have made a difference with so many people and look to continue to do so.   No retreat from being an educator.

No Regrets

This one ties it all in.  John O'Leary wrote "don't get to the end of your journey and realize the life you lived was not yours.  Don't forget that you are free to choose.  Right now."  We all have THE CHOICE for how we live our lives.  If we don't like where we are going or where we are at, we can change things in our own life.  We can think differently, we can make different choices, we can choose to get better.   This also brings in the fact of (at least to me) how we can't continue to blame others or blame the circumstances that happen to us. 

Unfortunately in today's times, I see this happening way too much and to tell you that I don't want to be a part of that way of thinking.  I think the blame game that so many people are playing is a direct recipe to have plenty of regrets in life, to retreat from things that will help us in the long run, and to have tons of reserves in our tank when we die.  Not taking responsibility for our own lives will lead to the opposite of all three of these.   Bottom line, I'm looking to take control of my life in these 3 areas.  For example (as so many people are getting worked up about this) I'm not going to let any elected official be the difference maker in my life.  Doesn't matter who is in any elected position in any form of our government as to how I choose to live my life and that I need to make sure that I follow this formula:  No reserves.  No retreat.  No regret.  How about you?
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Prudence - wait, what??

2/12/2020

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The character trait of Prudence is one we don't hear too much about.  In fact, if you are like me you had to do a double take at it and then probably look it up.   Here it is:  "The ability to do the right thing, at the right time for the right reason."   It's about our decisions and how they affect us now and in our future!

There were 2 videos that I had my students check out for some indications of Regrets that some people shared about their lives.  If we can recognize when we are in a moment that our choices and decisions will matter for our future - that's powerful to know about.   First was this video "Life Lessons from 100 Year Olds" where they interviewed 3 people that were over 100 years of age.  One big thing that I noticed from all three, were their smiles and laughter.  Amazingly inspiring listening to these people sharing stories of things that they have been through.  I also thought right away, how I want to be like that too.  Being full of gratitude, energy, love, purpose to get up everyday, etc.  What a blessing it was to watch, listen and learn from them.

The other video was just as meaningful as we watched 70 people talk about their regrets in life.  This video was titled, "70 People Ages 5-75 Answer: What Do You Regret?"   It was again, amazing to listen to their experiences and thoughts about things that they have been through.  Learning from other people's stories and experiences saves us from making similar mistakes.  We can learn without making those same choices or at least better understand things before we still might make those choices.   Most of my students learned a lot from this one too.  For me, the few that were older than me... twenty-two of them, got me thinking about what is coming for me in the years ahead and I think often of these lessons as I'm trying to make good choices & decisions every day of my life.  Amazing things can happen when we look at things differently and start to think differently too.  In fact, I'm getting emotional right now blogging about these thoughts and ideas.  I'm finding myself wanting to be better, do better, work harder, to have the courage to do things that help me go after my dreams and goals... like I said, amazing things can happen when we jump into these thoughts and ideas.  How about you join me?  Check these videos out and let me know what you are thinking and feeling.
 
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What Would Our Ancestors Do Today With The Opportunities That We Have?

7/24/2019

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This has been something that has been on my mind lately as I have heard this idea recently from at least one podcast that I listen to, if not more than one.  It's also in my heart too as it's really hitting me hard as of late.  

I look at my parents.  Thank God I still have them in my life as they are right around that 80 year old mark.  I've only known them to be hard workers, good people, having lot's of friends, both being difference makers in their careers and quite frankly fantastic parents to me and my sister.  I wonder what they would do with the opportunites out there now, if they found them in their early years?  I'll have to ask them and that sounds like it could be a great podcast to do too with them.

I am really intrigued with what their parents (my grandparents), my great-grandparents, my great-great grandparents and so on would do with today's opportunities.   I know that everything is relevant to the time that they are in or a part of.  I also know that it's not really possible to find the answers to these questions since my relatives are long gone.   I'd like to think the skills they had during their lifetimes would somehow benefit them if they were around today.  One advantage for sure is if they had their prior knowledge with them.   They could compare as to how hard they really had it and how much better we are off in today's world.  

I know for a fact that with that prior knowledge would be pure gold.  Just imagining it I think can be used to our advantage today!  I look at it from the viewpoint what would I want my kids, my students & players, to learn from me today to apply to their futures.  I also view it from the standpoint that based upon all the work, sacrifice, hardships, tough choices, etc., that they had in their lives - that I don't want to waste my opportunities that I have.  Simply put, I would obviously not be here if it were not for them doing what they did - touch times & tough choices and all.  I really feel that I would dishonor them if I did not work hard at going after my dreams and goals.  It's a force that is certainly bigger than me and it's very powerful too.

My son is working on being a certified Geneologist and has a lot of details on our family tree.  I need to dig a little bit to make more personal connections to my family members and find out a little bit more on maybe exactly what they might do with today's opportunities. 
​
Am I the only one thinking like this?  I wonder???
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Today Has Two Different Meanings...

6/20/2017

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"Today is the oldest you've ever been, and the youngest you'll ever be again. So live life to the fullest today, and have no regrets." #SayQuotable

There are things that we hear every day of our lives.  Some of them we actually listen to and some of them we take an extra step and we actually think about too.   When I saw this one, I had to read it again and then I also made it my last quote of the week for the school year for my students.

There is one more step on things like this.  After the thinking part of it – and of course it’s the most important part, it’s doing something about the statement.  The thing is that this statement rings true every day.  Then as the days go by we forget to live every day to the fullest and suddenly so much time has gone by that we tend to just fall into the motions of things we always do.  As Brian Buffini has said – “The days are long and the years are short.”    Years that go by tend to blend into one another and it gets harder and harder to remember them.

To be honest, this is something that I have always struggled with.  I’m trying to not live with regrets and I suppose I’m doing a better job than before, but wasting time and not living each day to the fullest is something that I continue struggle with.  But then in that same moment that I think about that statement, I have another thought – and that is that I won’t stop trying to make this better.  I won’t stop trying to live each day to the fullest and to the best that I can.

During a visit to Cincinnati, Ohio June 8 -10, I went to Sam Crowley’s live event.  This exact topic was heavy in our discussions.  Sam helped us all out by assigning a little homework to bring with us.  He wanted us to put down our Why’s on a notecard.  Why are we trying to do what we do? What are the reasons that are pushing us to be different, to try different things, and to get out of comfort zone.  We all shared those Why cards and it was powerful for sure.   For sure it helped that we got up in front of people to share our stories, but the real difference maker for all of us I think was to hear the other stories from everyone there.  It helped our whys to listen to the others that were there.  I think it helped to make our why’s stronger for ourselves based upon the connections we made with the other people there.

Besides the connection that my family has as part of my why, another is what Les Brown talks about on how valuable the graveyard is.  It’s the place where so many ideas, dreams, thoughts, etc., die with the people who never acted on them, never tried – I do not want that to be me.  I need to work on that every day so that I won’t take them all with me when it’s my time. 

Now that we all have these new connections coming out of the event, there has been a lot of action being taken by people in our group.  I know that I have done more and plan on doing more just because of the people I met during that event.  Reading a statement like the one above is good.  Doing something with it is better.  To have other people helping you to do that, that’s more than you can do with it yourself.  That’s the power of making the most out of every day, when it’s bigger than just you.  Our Why’s – the reason we get up every day to go and do whatever we have to do – it’s important to know those reasons why.  It’s important to connect them to the people in our lives as I think that multiplies the power that those reasons can have with us. 

One more key – we help those people that are part of our why’s by going out and doing great things.  They see us doing those things and they too can realize they can do great things too.  It’s not just about us – Life is about those connections we have with others.  Those are the real why’s we do what we do.  Have you looked at your why’s?  Why do you do what you do?  Is there more to your why’s than just yourself?  A great challenge for all of us is to look at that statement often to see where we stand with our why’s in life.  I know I need to do it every day.  Challenge yourself right now.  Go back up to the top and read that statement again – copy it so you can see it every day and then think about your why’s.  Anyone want to share their why?

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Regrets vs. Dreams 

11/14/2015

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“A person is not old until their regrets take the place of their dreams.” – Phil Reinhardt​

As time goes by it sure does get easy to have regular life take over where we find ourselves just going through the motions and losing our direction as to where we wanted to go earlier in life.  The hopes, plans, dreams and goals are still in our mind but have been replace with looking to survive and maybe advance a little bit in whatever career path we find ourselves on.  For many, it’s a career that maybe they didn’t plan on at all that they find themselves in.  For others, maybe it a career path that they have never left and still find themselves on it so many years later.

There are plenty of regrets in my life for sure.  I’ve tried recently to look at them as lessons learned instead of getting all hung up, sad and down about them not happening or more importantly, me not making them happen.  The other thing that I have seemed to get connected with is to focus more in on dreams that I still want to accomplish.  That’s what connected me with Phil’s quote when I saw it.

There are days I feel that I’m getting older, mostly due to my recent surgeries last year.  I got my right knee replaced along with having back surgery, where I have six screws permanently in by lower back holding things together so to speak.  Arthritis has made sure it is helping to remind me about the time that has gone by in my life.  The way I look at it, I sure don’t need to help this process get any worse by not going after my dreams and goals and start having regrets pile up and replace those things that I still want to do in my life.  Age is something that slows us all down at times which can add to the fact that we don’t feel like doing more about going after our dreams and goals in life.

This is why I promote to my own kids, my students and others to get started as early as they can on going after their dreams and goals, rather than after time goes by – and it does go by fast – we feel as if we can’t go after them since we are getting older and life is happening to us and we don’t have the time to do that.  There have also been too many examples on why we can’t wait to go after our dreams and goals.  Too many people that I have seen have died too soon in life due to a variety of circumstances.  The tragedy in Paris just happened yesterday which shows even more the fragile state of life that some face more frequently than others.
​

They key is time will always keep chugging along.  It doesn’t wait for nobody.  Like Tiger Woods has said, “Father time is undefeated.”  As time goes on, it piles up victories of making us start piling up our defeats of regrets instead of victories of accomplishing our dreams and goals.  I’m not sure about you, but I want to still have some victories that I can look back upon as being memorable, lasting for others, and the opposite of regrets.  What about you?
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    Coach John Daly

    In Education for almost 33 years.   Around coaching girls basketball for almost 40 years.   Looking to share insights, thoughts and ideas to help everyone find their own piece of success.

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