Category: Challenges - Coach to Expect Success

We All Need Mental Toughness

7/17/2022

Found a great resource about being more mentally tough - and it's free. Ben Newman - "The Burn Podcast" show, has some powerful guests sharing messages about being mentally through throughout life. So many lessons will be shared with this. To check it out and to sign up - again, it's free, go to: https://mentaltoughnessforum.com/ It's August 2 - 6, 2022. I'm doing more and more things that I know will be good for me & this is one of them. Again, I'm not getting paid for doing this "sharing", I just think it's good stuff.

So much of life is making adjustments in conjunction with not giving up. I think having more examples, more stories about what people go through in life - can benefit us. We can pick up different lessons that we can use in our lives. The only thing that is the same for every human being throughout all of time - we ALL have challenges to overcome. Seeing that is true, we can certainly learn from others for sure. The key is being willing to not only share our stories, but also always look to keep getting better. That way our stories can always look to help more people. Self Improvement and Personal Development go way beyond just helping ourselves. Our journey helps others, even if we don't know it at the time.

I hope you are able to check some if not all of this out.

A recent podcast that I did brings up some of these lessons too. Listen to it HERE.

Here Are A Few Things NOT To Stay Away From

12/13/2021

I found a powerful show from Alan Stein Jr. and his "Raise Your Game" podcast where in episode 1 from season 11, he interviews Brian Kight. Listen to it HERE. There are so many valuable things that he shares with Alan on his podcast & I wanted to share just a few powerful things that I picked up on.

Brian brings up that life is simple in counterintuitive ways. Some great connections to what life gives us:

Life is harder when we try to avoid hard things.
Life is scarier when we try to avoid scary things.
Life is more uncomfortable when we try and avoid uncomfortable things.
Life is more painful when we try and avoid painful things.
Life is more full of problems when we try and avoid problems.

Knowing that life is not supposed to be absent of problems, Brian shares some thoughts on why not go after the things in our life that mean something to us. In other words, he goes after things knowing that the rough times in life - we can choose many of them in the areas that we want them in. That way we are not having pain in our life, all in areas that don't mean anything to us. Thereby, not "wasting" it in areas that don't matter to us. There are plenty of tough moments in life for us to deal with having things more difficult, more scary, more uncomfortable, more painful, and more problems - if we are spending our time going after our dreams and goals... and these tough times hit us during these pursuits, it's a bit better to take them on.

Now remember, I'm not saying that we need to create more of these challenges. Life will throw us enough of those for sure. We just need to be able to get through life's tough moments as we are going after things that motivate us & give us reasons "why" to work hard to overcome them.

Listen to my thoughts on this topic HERE (and a few others) from my Motivation Monday Game Plan - from Dec. 13, 2021.

No Reserves. No Retreat. No Regrets

6/21/2020

Here is another lesson that I recently got from John O'Leary's book, "In Awe" and he brought up this thought of No Reserves. No retreat. No regrets. He mentions this mindset from a story of William Borden (click on his name for his amazing story.)

No Reserves

This was a reminder to Borden to make sure he was taking everything he had, all of his gifts, all of his thoughts & insights of things, all of his kindness & compassion; and to put it all out there for being a difference maker to others. To really be a light for someone else's darkness. I take this as Sam Crowley always says, to use up all the toothpaste in our tube of what our lives are. Not to be on our deathbed with things still left undone, unsaid to others and things not tried. It's something that has been on my mind more and more in my own life. (that's why this post hit close to home for me.)

No Retreat

Borden wrote of this as to not go back home to an easier life, one with money, priviledge, etc. He found strength in that to help keep him focused on what his mission in life was. This reminds me to not retreat back to an easy life. Remember, looking to make things easy now, in our early life - it will make things much more difficult later in life. We need to reverse this. Work hard now in our lives, things will be difficult and challenging, but later in life, it will get better. Everything I now do are grounded in the fact that I'm proud of being a teacher and a coach and I know that I have made a difference with so many people and look to continue to do so. No retreat from being an educator.

No Regrets

This one ties it all in. John O'Leary wrote "don't get to the end of your journey and realize the life you lived was not yours. Don't forget that you are free to choose. Right now." We all have THE CHOICE for how we live our lives. If we don't like where we are going or where we are at, we can change things in our own life. We can think differently, we can make different choices, we can choose to get better. This also brings in the fact of (at least to me) how we can't continue to blame others or blame the circumstances that happen to us.

Unfortunately in today's times, I see this happening way too much and to tell you that I don't want to be a part of that way of thinking. I think the blame game that so many people are playing is a direct recipe to have plenty of regrets in life, to retreat from things that will help us in the long run, and to have tons of reserves in our tank when we die. Not taking responsibility for our own lives will lead to the opposite of all three of these. Bottom line, I'm looking to take control of my life in these 3 areas. For example (as so many people are getting worked up about this) I'm not going to let any elected official be the difference maker in my life. Doesn't matter who is in any elected position in any form of our government as to how I choose to live my life and that I need to make sure that I follow this formula: No reserves. No retreat. No regret. How about you?

Challenges Offer Learning Opportunities

1/9/2017

"If it doesn't challenge you, it won't change you." – Unknown

One thing I really look back on in my life was that I got this message and took it to heart. Today, as a guy over 50, I have no problem what so ever taking this to heart since I’ve been through enough of life that I can the value and truth to this statement. The funny thing is, I’ve had plenty of people telling me that when I was younger and of course I didn’t really listen to them. Equally as comical is the fact that I give this same message to my 2 kids along with my students and basketball players. I hope they listen better than I did.

I’ve seen more challenges as I’ve gotten older along with most of those challenges being a lot more serious and heavy duty than most of the ones that I had when I was younger. When I was younger I thought those challenges were serious of course at that time, only to learn that you do what you can and get help if you need it and then time moves on, and just about all those challenges are a distant memory as I got older.

What I know now is that those times when those things come up in life are meant to test us. They are meant to give us some of the most valuable lessons we will ever learn throughout our lifetime. That’s if we look at that way while being in the middle of those problems and issues. That’s the challenging part. It’s really easy to look back on memories to think about them or at least try and remember them for the lessons that were there. I think it’s a hundred times more valuable if we can look for the lessons while we are in the middle of the lesson.

Also remember, we learn from many different sources. Other people telling us about their stories of their ups and downs – and the lessons they learned. Even watching others go through things without them telling us about them. We learn from reading books, listening to podcasts, seeing current events going on around us, etc. The most valuable of them all – those things that we go through ourselves! We are the best source of learning for our own lives since we are in the title role playing ourselves in our own story.

One Thing For Sure - Learning Never Stops

4/16/2016

"I learned about the strength you can get from a close family life. I learned to keep going, even in bad times. I learned not to despair, even when my world was falling apart. I learned that there are no free lunches. And I learned the value of hard work." — Lee Iacocca

One thing I know for sure is that learning never stops. At least it shouldn’t stop if we know what’s good for us. This weekend I learned about strength in family. I have a very good friend that lost his wife to cancer. I’ve seen these losses before for others and it always has lessons for me and for others to learn from and for the most part I’ve learned many but honestly I could say maybe I’ve lost a few of them over the years. Not proud of it, but it’s probably true.

This one hurt too, just like the others and just like the deaths of a loved one that you have suffered too. Finding out part of the back story in that my friend, who I’ve known since 1st grade along with him being the best man in my wedding too; how he’s handled this over the last year and a half or so – simply amazing!

These lessons have pushed me into a little bit more action than previous lessons. I guess all the previous lessons along with this one and for sure the ones that are to come in the future, could all be put into a book. That book should be drawn on often, if not every day. It comes down to this – these lessons should help us to live a better life each and every day! What we say and do. How we treat others. Things that we shouldn’t waste our time on and things we do need to spend our time on. The list can go on a lot longer too.

Part of this idea above from Lee Iacocca is the value of hard work. Things that have been decided that are worth it (and that is different for everyone) are usually things that will take some hard work to make them happen. For the most part, things that come easy may not be really worth it in the end. Through all the ups and downs in life, the heartbreak and the moments of happiness and enjoyment, there has to be some solid effort that is put into our equation of life. Not much if anything comes free to us. It has to be earned for sure.

Another part is the not quitting, not giving up! Having to have faith in our situations, ourselves, our loved ones, and for the most part faith in something bigger than ourselves. It helps so much to have our lives going in a direction towards things that we are passionate about, so that when the tough times hit (and they always do), we can find our way through the storms in order to keep going and not quit.

The lessons I’ve learned this past week or so are powerful. But like I said, so are the other ones that I’ve learned in the past. Now, maybe they are all coming together. Maybe now I have enough of a “reason why” to do some things differently and make some changes that I’ve been dabbling with for years. What lessons have you learned lately from life? Any time you want to share them – please do for I know they will help me along with they will help others too.

It's Planting Season - Always Do Your Best

4/2/2016

"Always do your best. What you plant now, you will harvest later." -- Og Mandino

It's great to see Spring coming around a little bit more everyday. Even with some colder weather coming in during the start of April, it's still nice to see it lighter out later along with some green coming back all around outside.

I am reminded about this quote seeing that I have been constantly reminding my students about doing their best for years. As I have always told them, I need the same advice for myself that I give to them. The things that we all do now, both good and bad will be what affects our future. There have been some things that I have gone out of my comfort zone for lately, and I need to continue doing that. It has become more exhilarating for me compared to causing me to be nervous and getting worked up about.

That's the one thing that my students have helped me with so often over the years. When I talk to them and hear parts of their stories about overcoming challenges and difficulties, about getting out of the comfort zone; that helps me so much so that I can try and do the same. Of course I tell my students the sooner they make these changes, the better off they will be. I also tell them that since I'm much older than they are, most of the time it's more difficult for me to make those types of changes.

I think it means more to me however (and others that are older) since we realize all the time that has gone by along with the amount of time we have left in life too. For younger people they may think that they have plenty of time to start things later, that they don't have to do it right now. This ties into a saying from John Fuhrman about every choice we make in life either takes us towards our goals and dreams or takes us further away. So we do harvest later what we choose to do today. It's up to us as to what we will be harvesting.

Challenges Make Life Interesting - Quote of the Week

7/14/2014

“Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful” – Joshua J. Marine

Thinking about how challenges are all around us all the time throughout life caused me to stop for a moment when I saw this quote. We all have challenges that we are dealing with. Each and every day. We see life challenges in the news, on social media, talking with friends and neighbors; enough to know that we are not alone when it comes to having challenges to deal with.

In pausing life here for a moment thinking about this idea, with a cup of coffee too by the way, I have come to a couple of main thoughts that stick out to me. First, I am indeed not the only one with problems and challenges. In fact not only do we all have them every day in our lives, some obviously are far worse than what we have to deal with. The thought that others do have it worse off than I do helps me to see that I need to not complain about my challenges and that I need to not let them define me along with not letting me quit due to those issues that I have.

Another thought that comes to me when I think about this is that there is tremendous empathy and caring for others that comes out of taking a few moments to dwell on these thoughts. Empathy is a point that I try and get my students to think about every year as I think it's one of the most powerful abilities that we have in connecting with other people. It's one that we all need to do more of in this world especially with all the lousy examples we see in the media about the selfishness and lack of character that seems to be all around us in our world.

These two ideas are really helping me as I face another of many challenges in my life as I go in for knee replacement surgery tomorrow. It truly has been a long and painful process over the last few years of trying to do everything I could to help my knee pain. It has finally come down to the fact that the severe arthritis that I have started to battle now in my life has caused me to make some choices to get back my quality of life that I want to have. I look forward to this process because I know at the end of it will be a life with less pain and my ability to do things I love to do. I know there will be more procedures that I will need to have done in the future due to these changes in my body as I get older. But I know there are so many people worse off than me, I will not let this stop me from doing the things that I know I need to do along with the new things I want to do in my life. There are so many more meaningful moments in my life that going through this and other upcoming challenges, will make them all the more sweeter.

What challenges are you going through right now where maybe you can take these couple of ideas to help you get through them and look ahead for better days? Let me know as we can help each other out with some new thoughts, ideas and discussions about this and many other life events that we all go through.

Quote of the Week - August 26, 2013

8/26/2013

"Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently." -Henry Ford

There was a little bit of a connection to this being a Monday and this wonderful quote from Henry Ford. When I saw it this morning I thought about the fact that I needed to reset and begin a few things again today, being the start of another week. This week is crucial leading up to the new school year and there are plenty of things I need to work on in a more intelligent way than I've done before.

This holds true with work things that we have to do, but more importantly it also has to do with life things too. The sooner we look at the difficulties in our lives, how did we arrive there, what things can we learn from those experiences, how can I make changes so it doesn't happen again; are just some of the things we need to think about. This of course is all wieved arround the fact that we can't let our own negative thinking get in the way of learning from our failures.

One thought I had when I read this over a few times this morning, was that all the things I've failed at throughout my life, I must not have learned much since some of the things I'm still struggling with. From there it might be a thought like, 'what makes you think this time will be any different?' Another one; 'who are you kidding, you know you'll end up right where you started as you have tried this so many times.'

A funny thing though. As I started running the usual negative thoughts in my head there was a little response, just a little voice that said - hey, this time can be different. It also said that 'you know you can do this', along with little pictures in my mind about me being successful and actually doing these things that I'm working on doing. The key is that over time (and for me it's been a long journey) I have learned little bits and pieces even if I wasn't successful at accomplishing things that I wanted to do, I still got just a tiny bit better than I was before.

There is the key! As long as you come coming back, struggle, try and do more, try and get better, keep trying to accomplish things in your life; this quote from Henry Ford will continue to hold truth for you. This is why it's important to continue to read and listen to things more than once. In fact it should be many times - some experts even say almost 20 times we need to read or listen to something for it really to become a habit, or it gets placed inside of us that we can draw on it any time we need it. What is it for you? What does Mr. Ford's quote mean to you? How do you connect to it? As always I invite you to share with me and others your thoughts and ideas about this quote, for there will be many other ideas and thoughts that can help me and others. It's always great to see someone's thoughts and opinions that can get us thinking differently. Seeing things from different points of view are always helpful.

Quote of the Week - April 1, 2013

4/1/2013

Even with a break from school - I still wanted to get some thoughts out.

"Learn from your failures or be conquered by them." - from livelifehappy.com

This quote just jumped right out at me from two standpoints. First, learn from your failures is something that I know I need to always focus on in my life. Sure wish I had a clue about that earlier, but now I do. Failures happen, but we need to learn from them, make adjustments and move on. So many times I see myself and others making mistakes and failing... but then we don't learn from them. Ouch! Life is all about mistakes happening. Life has failures in it everyday. But we don't have to choose to keep making them over and over again, do we?

Second, if we don't learn from our failures and we don't make adjustments to become better or to get through those things that we struggle with - those failures will end up holding us back, really conquering our futures. There are obviously so many different levels to this as there are different levels of failures. Another key element to this that when we don't learn from these failures, they will also affect the other people in our lives that we are connected to.

Too many of my failures and shortcomings that I've had in my life have affected my family. Whereas if I would have learned from them and gotten better, things could be more positive in many ways for me and my family. These really end up getting in the way of our relationships in life. Which, if you haven't figured out by now, are really what's important in our lives.
Any thoughts or ideas on this? Have you thought about how things like this might be getting in the way for you? Always looking for discussion points.

Quote of the Week -March 25, 2013

3/26/2013

"Don't let someone else's opinion of you become your reality." - Les Brown

When I first heard Les Brown talk about this - it really hit home with me and my students. Many times I think we give up control to those people in our lives that will fill our heads with doubt. Many times the critics in our lives are those that are the closest to us. Those people that love and care for us - and we for them, will sometimes be the biggest distractors for us to get through.

I am also reminded by this statement that we also have to work on our own opinion of ourselves. If we hear enough negative from others in our lives and add it to our own self-doubting opinion about ourselves, that is a recipe for going nowhere. Where if we have the attitude and mental preparation to take these opinions as fuel or reasons for getting better - to use them as inspiration, well... that's another story. When you actually sit back and think about things like this, isn't it the right thing to do - to take these critics in our lives and use their opinions to help us do more and get better? That's an approach that I think would be great for all of us to use. I know I need to do just that!

There are so many things that Les Brown says that really hits home for me and for my students too. I suggest you look him up and read some of his books, listen to some of his audio recordings, and watch his videos as he's got so many messages to connect with so many different people. Another quote he gave to us in this recent presentation - "the best revenge is massive success." For all the doubters and critics in our lives, that is something that will help others to see our true reality for sure.

Any thoughts or ideas on this from Les Brown. Remember, not only do your thoughts and ideas help me, they help yourself and many others too. When you take the time to put some of these in writing - it gets you thinking about making adjustments in your life. Might be right then when you do it, or later on sometime. Either way, it's good to share your thoughts and ideas on these quotes... so thank you for doing just that.