Category: Fear - Coach to Expect Success

Being Present & Focusing On Giving Others My Attention

10/21/2021

Found a great video clip that comes from Tony Robbins that reminds us about the importance of being in the present moment - wherever that might find us - it's really the only place to be. Check out the video HERE.

Many times we get caught up in the past along with worrying about the future too. We forget to look down to where our feet are, right now at the moment. I love that reminder as it's quick and easy for us to make sure we know where we are right now & that's all we can do at the moment, is be where we are at. I heard something recently from another podcast that gets right on top of this topic. It was mentioned that what keeps us up at night are usually fearful, negative, worrisome issues. Where the things that usually get us out of bed are more hopeful, inspiring, things to go after for the day, etc.

It's all part of not looking in the rear-view window of our lives and not focusing too much of the things way out in front of us either. My good friend, Dr. Jeff Lip has mentioned it many times - if we get focused too much on the past, often times it leads to depression. The fact that we are not as young as we used to be, the relationships that we lost, the regrets start piling up, etc. If we focus too much on the future - we get anxious, worried about things we think are going to happen, etc. We miss out on the present, the place we are currently at. It's the only place that we can actually do something about.

Finally, when I am able to focus on other people and looking to help them; I am finding that not only do my problems get smaller, but I find out new ways & ideas of dealing with them too. It allows me to open up to see new possibilities instead of being locked up inside my own head and trying to figure out solutions just from my perspective.

It's Difficult Sometimes To Not Be Afraid

6/10/2016

"It's hard not to be afraid. Be less afraid."   — Susan Sontang

This has got me thinking from a few different perspectives. First I look at today. There is a lot going on that I am concerned about. Things about my family, my job, friends of mine and what they are going through, the economy, current things going on in my community, state and the country. Am I afraid? Sure, a little. But Susan is right, I need to be less afraid. I need to start doing things that are under my control to help these things that I have concerns for. Fear is part of life. I am choosing to find some great things from it.   You can too!

Some of these worries I need to recognize that I cannot control. I need to look at them and realistically look at from the standpoint of what can I really do about them? If there are things that I can do about them, then I need to decide to do those things or not. Both choices will have consequences. So does doing nothing as I must remember, that is a choice too.
Some of these worries, in fact all of them now that I think about it, actually make me want to become better! Instead of falling down, crying, complaining that these things are so horrible, that life is unfair, blaming others, etc., I really need to become better in all aspects of my life in order to handle these and other things that get thrown at me. Sam Crowley has said this over and over, we need to become bigger than our problems. We need to become better in order to deal with things better throughout our lives. At age 50 this seems so clear to me and I really wonder why it didn’t appear to me sooner.

The truth is simply that this message did come to me, in fact much earlier in life. The key was that I was not ready for it. Or maybe even it wasn’t the right messenger that told me about it earlier in my life. Whatever the reason, I’m sure glad that I have the understanding of it now. Please feel free of taking this thought and using it to help yourself and your future now. Don’t wait.   How can you take Susan’s advice to heart? What is holding you back in some area of your life? Because of the things going on in my life, there needs to be things I have to do and make changes with, in order to get better and do the things I know I need to do! How about you?

Gratitude - It's Connected To A Lot In Our Lives

12/13/2015

“Don’t let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it. The time will pass anyway; we might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use.”– Earl Nightingale

Time is a funny thing, especially when you get a little older. I’ll be 50 in less than 3 months and time seems to be sending me more messages every day. There are more memories that I think about, dwell on, get emotional over; along with the fact that I can clearly see that I don’t have as much time as I once did in my life.

It is the same for everyone. It is an equal currency for each of us. A dollar can represent many different things to different people. Time can too. But when I look at the value of each, I get different messages in my head. I’ve heard many times before that most people that don’t have a lot of money, sometimes have a lot of time on their hands. The other side of the coin is that people with a lot of money, don’t have a lot of time for other things. It’s also been said that most people won’t have a lot of both. I’d like to change that of course for me and my family, but I’m still working on it.

Earl is sure right on with this quote. The time passes anyway. If there is fear about how long a certain accomplishment might take and that fear hold us back? We have to start looking at the undeniable fact that the time will indeed pass and that possible accomplishment will always be a wish. There is also truth in the fact that time will continue on, but the willingness, ability and circumstances needed to make that accomplishment a reality – those will not be there later in life. There is a big difference from trying to do something in your 20’s compared to your 60’s. I see it as the sooner the better when it comes down to wanting to do something with your life, something that will last and make a difference with others.

As time goes by, and it seems it’s going by faster and faster – which we know really isn’t true; it becomes easier to see that changes have to be made in order to act upon the goals and dreams that you have in your life. One minute of time when I was 10 years old is the same sixty seconds as a minute is today for me. However, those 60 seconds are different at age 49, with a wife and two adult children, a career in education that includes teaching and coaching, bills to be paid, time spent with other family members, etc.

I had goals and dreams at 10 years old. I also have different goals and dreams today. So that one minute of time, that sixty seconds (at least to me) is totally different today than it was almost forty years ago. Those forty years have gone by, way too fast I might add, and I’ve accomplished some pretty cool things in my life, but there is more still to do. I also see it as the urgency for me sure is different today than when it was when I was 10.

So, take a look at where you are now. How much time has gone by in your life so far? We know what that is for sure as it is very easy to measure. What we don’t know is how much time is left. What can we all do to make better use of that time we have left? Those things that are close to our heart should be things that we want to take our time to go after. Start today. There is no better place in time to begin something. I know I need to do just that today. How about you?

Our Dreams Are Our Creative Visions For Our Future ... It's Time To Put Them Into Action! - Quote Of The Week!

3/1/2015

"A dream is your creative vision for your life in the future. You must break out of your current comfort zone and become comfortable with the unfamiliar and the unknown." -- Denis Waitley

It’s funny how you see quotes or ideas at a time when you need to see them. This was definitely true about this one.

My wife and I were just talking about at least thinking about and exploring other things to do within or out of our respective careers along with making other changes. Both of us like what we do, but we both agree that we need to step outside our comfort zone when it comes to looking at improving ourselves. That goes for professionally and personally.

Now that I’m past the worst part of my recovery from my back surgery, I have to make some changes to getting more in shape now, as my wife has said she needs to do that too. So we are looking to find a gym that we can feel comfortable at and start ourselves back to being healthier.

I’ve had it on my mind for years about pursuing my Doctorate degree. I’m starting to explore looking for information and I’m seeing that the idea still intrigues me, but there are plenty of items to think about besides the huge financial commitment that it would call for. I know that maybe some other things need to happen before this big leap is made.

I’m starting to get my podcasts going. This has been long on my mind and I am pushing through the little fears (which used to be bigger fears) about doing these. The old saying from my favorite book, The “Magic Of Thinking BIG” states that action cures fear. That is totally true!!

So, on that note that is what I will be working hard to focus on as I embark on this new journey, new way of thinking, and a new way of actually doing things to make my dreams a reality. I know that if I continue doing things the same way I’ve been doing them, then I will continue to not only getting the same results, but I won’t get out of the box that I call my current comfort zone. I look at what I’ve been doing and I tell myself that I haven’t been doing things poorly – hence being comfortable in the comfort zone, but I know I need to change. So here is to Action Curing Fear!!

Making Changes Can Be Difficult - Quote Of The Week

11/24/2014

"Making changes can be difficult, but less difficult than repeating the same old story." – LoraneGordon

As we get ready to finish up our fall term at school, this got me thinking about how different things are now for our seniors compared to when our term started back in early September. Things have changed for everyone of them, that’s for sure. But how many of our seniors can say they had a say in all those changes that happened to them? Most of the time none of us can say that we had control over every single change that has happened to us over a period of time; that’s not how life works.

It is very important that we look at those things we do have control over and always look to control those things. So much of life is out of control, yet it affects us in different and sometimes may ways. It’s all about adjusting things in our life so that need to major on the majors. This long-term saying that still holds true today. There are important things in our lives that we need to focus on and that we have actual control over. There are many more minor things in life that we don’t need to focus on since they are not really that important.

When it comes time to make changes in our lives, they should be focused on those things that help us go where we want to go in life. Change can certainly be scary as most humans enjoy being in their comfort zone and not have to venture too far from that zone too often. If we look at the pain of change and when that pain is less than if we stay the same, then it becomes easier to change. If we keep repeating the same things that give us results that we don’t like; then it’s fur sure a time to change.

I’m wondering if any of our seniors are doing that as their high school years are quickly coming to an end. Are there changes that they have to make that will make things easier for them in the long run? Or are those changes too scary to even attempt? Our seniors are not the only ones that need to look at this – we all need to do this. The important thing to realize is the younger we start making necessary changes in our lives, the less difficult they will be.

I saw something else that fits with this – we will never be younger than we are today. The longer we wait, the harder those changes will be to make. I should know, I’ve put things off far too long in my life and I’m working on changing that right now. Our seniors are so far ahead of my pace. Good for them.

Every Day This Happens To So Many People... Quote of the Week!

7/8/2014

“Every day thousands of people bury good ideas because they are afraid to act on them." -David Schwartz

Life continuously seems to give us messages that maybe there are better ways of doing things. At those moments, we might just come up with ideas on how to do those things better, but then we seem to forget about it, get too busy with other things, think we can’t do that, etc. It seems so many people today have a common thought about how there has to be a better way of doing things. This could be for their job or career, an invention or something, improving their relationships with others, or even for doing things around the house.

The keys on these are that the ideas get lost or buried and also most people are indeed afraid to act on those ideas. Both have happened to me throughout my lifetime and I still am working on fixing this every day. The ideas get lost or buried for many reasons. We do seem to be too busy in today’s world with so much going on that we miss out on the opportunities to take the time to think about how we can improve things.

The other part of us not believing we can do things a different way or improve on something also gets in the way. It comes down to our thinking. David Schwartz is the author of my favorite book of all time, The Magic of Thinking Big. He addresses these points and so much more in his book that it is a book that you should put on your reading list as soon as you can.

One of the major keys that has struck me is that I’ve wasted way too much time and not putting some of my ideas into action. So not only am I working on the fear of things stopping me, along with the fact I’m too scatter-brained so often where I lose sight of things that I need to do; there is that action piece too that has been missing on my end. With some major things going on this summer and this fall for me, I realize now is the time to get things going.

Is it that time for you too? With this quote staring at me when I saw it, I know just like the old saying goes – “There’s no time like the present” to do things I know I have to do. You do realize that quote above and the quote about the present works for you too? I know you knew that. I just wanted to remind you like I reminded myself.

Quote of the Week - April 28, 2014

4/28/2014

"Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears." – Les Brown

We got done recently listening to a little Les Brown in our Leadership class and it made total sense to highlight this quote this week after I saw it on social media. No wonder we are to busy living our fears as I just got done with dinner with my wife and we were watching the news (mainly for the weather updates), but was also saw so many stories that feed right into worry, stress, negativity, anger, being fed up with government and people, etc. We get so tired of all the other crap that we don't have any energy some times to live out our dreams.

Knowing that - I need to change my mindset a little bit. The podcasts and audio books that I'm listening to on a daily basis before I get to work help with starting out my day in a positive way. I need to continue that.... so I've been connected with a couple of more that I'm listening to during the day and at night while I do my schoolwork - really helping big time. Are you doing that at all? If you have any suggestions please send them my way or at least get them out there for others to use too.

Another thing we need to realize - is really the short amount of time we actually have to go out and live our dreams. Time is going by so fast and we seem to spend it on things that really don't matter too much. I am trying to identify a couple of my fears that have been holding me back and I am working on defeating them along with moving on with some goals and dreams I have. Maybe you too can find one fear to address and work on along with taking that energy and time and putting it towards a goal that might have?? Let me (and others) know for everyone needs help. You just might be that one person that helps others get over what they have to do. :-)

Quote of the Week - December 16, 2014

12/17/2013

"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face." -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Wow.. is this something that I could have used back when I was a teen. Then again, maybe I wasn't ready for learning this lesson?

I guess the sooner you can face your fears, the sooner you have more strength and courage to do other things with in your life. Looking back, there were many fears that I can easily identify now - but I probably had trouble identifying earlier in my life. It's hard to work on battling a fear if you can't identify it. But a word of advice - figure out what those fears are and figure out how you can overcome them and not let them stop you from doing things you want to do.

With another new year coming upon us - remember, don't wait until January 1st to make out some new resolutions to try and take care of. If there are things to deal with - do it now. Don't worry, there will be more things to improve upon come January 1st.

Always looking forward to learning from your thoughts and comments. Let me know.