Category: - Coach to Expect Success

We All Get Squeezed ...

7/4/2022

Another quick, but great lesson to share with you from Alan Stein Jr's. book, "Sustain Your Game" - and it actually comes from Dr. Wayne Dyer. It's all about what's inside of us. Dr. D asks a question to a group of people - what happens when you squeeze an orange? We get squeezed all throughout life - what comes out of us when we do feel that pressure, etc.

That's something we all can easily answer - at least for ourselves. It's something to take a look at and reflect about too... the earlier the better. It's something I've been trying to do more of lately and try to be conscious of when I get squeezed by life and by people. I'm trying to catch the bad stuff coming out and fixing my responses. Those are the things that I can actually change and control. It's not the stuff coming at me from outside sources, that's for sure.

It reminds me of the great game of basketball. Usually we always want to have our game plan go inside - out. Meaning... getting the ball inside to try and score. Inside meaning to our tall players - post players - where the % is higher for taking shots closer to the basket. Then, as defenses start sagging into the middle to help, the outside opens up for clear shots.

If we look to live our lives from an inside - outside point of view... controlling what we can control.. our actions, our thoughts, our responses, our efforts, our attitudes, etc. If we also can remember that the outside stuff are things we can't control & maybe choose to get not squeezed too hard by those things, that's where we can make a difference in our lives. Easy?? Not usually. Doable? Yep. Something I will continue to work on for sure.

Staying Positive When Life Gets Hard

2/7/2019

This article that I had my students look at for one of their recent weekly blog assignments had a great title: "How To Stay Positive When Life Gets Hard." It was a very short article that really focused in on 3 people and their thoughts about staying positive.

"Nothing is ever achieved without some trials and tribulations. The first step in moving beyond those circumstances is to remain positive. Without that, you’ll be perpetually stuck in the situation. No good has ever come from negativity."

— Mark Lee, founder and CEO of MDMartin, LLC

It's a good reminder for all of to remember that our lives do have a lot of ups and downs throughout our time of being on this earth. Remaining positive throughout life is a better way to take on these challenges compared to having a negative one. For some people this is difficult and it helps for anyone to have other positive people around them, reading good information, listening to good information, having things to do in life that are connected to their passions and to taking good care of themselves too. It's totally possible to more possible and again, it will help you figure things out a better than a negative attitude will.

"Stay positive, focus on being mindful and keep a clear head. When problem solving, don’t get discouraged if it doesn’t all go according to plan. You can’t control everything in life or business, so embrace the adversity and dig in even further to drive a positive outcome. The harder you work for something, the more rewarding it is in the end."

— Amanda Ruisi, founder and president of AKR Public Relations

Amanda brings up a fantastic idea here - it has so much to do with our current mindset that we choose to have. Remember, we can't choose what happens to us most of the time, but we certainl can choose how we will react. The old saying about life is 10% of what happens to us and 90% of how we respond. It is worth the hard work. At least if things don't work out, you have practiced by giving great effort so the next thing you need to work on, you already have some good habits going.

"I was diagnosed and treated for cancer when I was 19, and I have a uniquely optimistic and positive outlook as a result. But maintaining that positivity still takes constant effort. When I’m feeling down or overwhelmed, one of the best ways to change my mindset is to focus on gratitude and finding awe in the everyday. For example, when I got burned out from business travel last year, I took time on every flight to focus on what I’m grateful for and to think about how unbelievably awesome it is to be in the air flying."
--Jennifer Benz, founder and CEO of Benz Communications

Even if we are blessed to never have had cancer to deal with personally, my bet is that we all know someone who has had to fight that battle. So this example is an extreme one of course, but it does allow us to see someone who is fighting a HUGE battle and the lessons we can learn from them and their fight that they have on their hands. Learning lessons from others and their stories is something we should always look to do.

Remember that there are plenty of examples out there; articles, books, podcasts, videos, seminars, shows, etc., where we can get some good information in order to create some good habits. Remember what Zig Ziglar's son Tom said "The fastest way to success is to replace a bad habit with a good one." This post hopefully helps you do that.

4 Tips To Get Out Of A Funk

8/25/2018

We all get into a funk every so often. Looking back throughout my life - it came about many times in the summer. I was off school and you might wonder why that would happen then? Probably since I was not being too productive most of the time. Letting myself down in many ways, not working on things that I knew I should be working on. Those bad habits I knew that I should improve upon, yet I wasn't. The 4 points in this article that I found - find it HERE - it's a great read that I think will help you with some ideas to get out of the next funk you are in. It helped me. It also helped to remind me that I do indeed have the power to get out of these darker moments in life. I don't have to let it affect me and hold me back. I am not denying them but I do want to take charge more when those moments come up in life - and they always come up for all of us. Listen to my podcast about this - find it HERE as it has some great things to think about the next time you are in a funk - and remember, there will always be a next time. So, check it out - you can always chime in with some thoughts, ideas or comments. Please take a few moments to subscribe & share this with someone, also leave a 5 Star rating on ITunes or other services where you find this show. Find me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/coachtoexpectsuccess/ on Twitter: @coachtosuccess and on Instagram at: @coachjohndaly

One Thing For Sure - Learning Never Stops

4/16/2016

"I learned about the strength you can get from a close family life. I learned to keep going, even in bad times. I learned not to despair, even when my world was falling apart. I learned that there are no free lunches. And I learned the value of hard work." — Lee Iacocca

One thing I know for sure is that learning never stops. At least it shouldn’t stop if we know what’s good for us. This weekend I learned about strength in family. I have a very good friend that lost his wife to cancer. I’ve seen these losses before for others and it always has lessons for me and for others to learn from and for the most part I’ve learned many but honestly I could say maybe I’ve lost a few of them over the years. Not proud of it, but it’s probably true.

This one hurt too, just like the others and just like the deaths of a loved one that you have suffered too. Finding out part of the back story in that my friend, who I’ve known since 1st grade along with him being the best man in my wedding too; how he’s handled this over the last year and a half or so – simply amazing!

These lessons have pushed me into a little bit more action than previous lessons. I guess all the previous lessons along with this one and for sure the ones that are to come in the future, could all be put into a book. That book should be drawn on often, if not every day. It comes down to this – these lessons should help us to live a better life each and every day! What we say and do. How we treat others. Things that we shouldn’t waste our time on and things we do need to spend our time on. The list can go on a lot longer too.

Part of this idea above from Lee Iacocca is the value of hard work. Things that have been decided that are worth it (and that is different for everyone) are usually things that will take some hard work to make them happen. For the most part, things that come easy may not be really worth it in the end. Through all the ups and downs in life, the heartbreak and the moments of happiness and enjoyment, there has to be some solid effort that is put into our equation of life. Not much if anything comes free to us. It has to be earned for sure.

Another part is the not quitting, not giving up! Having to have faith in our situations, ourselves, our loved ones, and for the most part faith in something bigger than ourselves. It helps so much to have our lives going in a direction towards things that we are passionate about, so that when the tough times hit (and they always do), we can find our way through the storms in order to keep going and not quit.

The lessons I’ve learned this past week or so are powerful. But like I said, so are the other ones that I’ve learned in the past. Now, maybe they are all coming together. Maybe now I have enough of a “reason why” to do some things differently and make some changes that I’ve been dabbling with for years. What lessons have you learned lately from life? Any time you want to share them – please do for I know they will help me along with they will help others too.

We Just Have To Give Ourselves A Chance!

8/25/2015

"You can make startling changes you can’t even conceive of right now, if you just give yourself half a chance." -- Jim Rohn

As I was looking through some quote ideas another one from the great Jim Rohn jumped out at me. I think so many times in our lives, if we give ourselves a chance to do great things, we will indeed do just that.

You know, before we are able to do really do anything in life we have to tell ourselves to do it. Just getting up on time in the morning, making breakfast, filling the car up with gas, taking a shower, etc. Now with other things, it’s a lot more difficult than simply telling ourselves to do it. We have to convince ourselves for the really important and life changing things that we need to do. Those items such as going after your dreams and goals, stepping up to push yourself to get rid of bad habits and replace them with good ones, to reach out to help others that maybe not too many others are willing to help out, along with looking to make a difference with others throughout your lifetime.

It’s about being continually inspired throughout life. We need to have those inspirational reminders just about on a daily basis I think. Those stories that we can relate to that helps us believe that we too can do great things. To get us to understand that we don’t have to settle. We simply need to give ourselves a chance, an opportunity to do them. Jim Rohn went onto say “The real value in setting goals is not in their achievement. The acquisition of the things you want is strictly secondary. The major reason for setting goals is to compel you to become the person it takes to achieve them.”

When we look back on the great moments in our lives, they usually come from overcoming difficulties, maybe a long time in working hard and then something wonderful happens along with the fact that we can look back at all the great people that came into our lives along with the new things we learned during that time period. It’s also a time to see the people that aren’t in our lives anymore. Our journey throughout life takes us into different directions that others won’t follow us through. They have their own journeys to go on and even though it’s sad to lose friends, it’s necessary for us to become who we want to and need to become.

Part of this equation is to figure it out sooner than later as some of our many journeys through life take time. The sooner we realize this, the more things we can go through to get us to become the person we want to be. Another key, maybe even a more important one is to realize that it’s never too late to start on any of these possible journeys. You know, I’ve been learning a lot lately and much of it is dealing with the person that I know I need to become in order for things to happen. Much of it are things that I’d rather not face, not talk about, and not have to go through. I know I need to go through them and face them in order for things to get better for me but more importantly for those that are around me. My wife and kids, my other family members, my students, my basketball players, fellow teachers, coaches, friends and neighbors along with the countless people that I haven’t even met yet. I’ve been playing small most of my life. That time has to end, and end now. What are some of the things you need to give yourself permission to do? Just give yourself a chance, something little, just one thing. Then just look for those little things each and every day that can help you. When you find them, please let me know and others too, since I know that we are all looking for those little things to help us in our journeys through life.

Life Is Hard - But Compared To What? Quote of the Week....

8/11/2014

"When I hear somebody sigh, 'Life is hard,' I am always tempted to ask, 'Compared to what?" -- Sydney J. Harris

I’ve had my share of time to think lately on how hard life is while recovering from my knee surgery. I must say however that I am working very hard to not let those thoughts consume me as it really only makes me feel sad and down. When I saw this statement, it obviously connected with me. So many times before I did not have the time to think about things as I was always busy doing many things, especially being a teacher and having a family with my wife and two teenagers. I guess having a few extra weeks of having to take it easy, having a little pain and more discomfort; really gave me time to think about how challenging things are for me.

Here is where the second part of this quote comes into play. I do need to look at this part and I have asked myself that question, compared to what? Compared to when I was in college? Sure, it’s more challenging now for sure. Compared to what so many other people around the world are going through and many even around here in my community, not a chance. I still have it really good compared to so many other people. There is a saying that I have posted in my classroom that I make reference to all the time. Be kind to others for everyone is fighting some type of battle. The more I talk with people the more I see we all have some types of issues that we have to deal with.

So when it comes down to it, at least for me, when I think about how difficult life can be I need to remember a few things. First, we all have issues and if I were to put my issues on a piece of paper and then try and trade them with other people for their issues, I think I would quickly see that mine are not that bad. Second, a good life just doesn’t happen. There has to be some type of work involved and most of the time it won’t be easy as I’ve come to learn things that are worthwhile are usually not easy. Third, I’m really trying to take these temporary challenges and learn from them. I am looking to see how they can help me get better as a person, father, husband, teacher, etc. Finally, I think that how hard life can be is really up to me and my attitude towards things. I can make those times as hard and as difficult as I make them out to be. So maybe take a lesson and think about that quote a little bit now and don’t wait until you are laid up with some injury or illness where you have more time to dwell on how bad you might have it. Always remember to ask yourself compared to what?

I’m always looking to learn from you and your thoughts on this quote. Leave a comment or two or get back in touch with me so we can share some stories and ideas about this.

Quote of the Week - March 18, 2013

3/18/2013

"Every challenge is nothing more than a chance to make things better." - Lolly Daskal

This in itself is an amazing quote due to the simple fact that since we have challenges just about every day of our lives, we have the chances every day to make things better. Some people have more challenges than others so they really have the opportunities to make significant changes in their lives to make things better.

Another key to this thought I think is that not only can it help ourselves in our own life, but those that we are connected to as well. You see, all the people that are connected to us in our lives also face challenges. If we are able to have this way of thinking to help ourselves, we can also help those around us too. If you haven't noticed the world if full of challenges each and every day. Instead of complaining, criticizing, condemning about them and letting those challenges dictate life to us, we have the ability to look at how we can get better from this. We can spend our time looking to solve these issues or at least work towards making them better.

Funny thing is, it's taken me so long to figure this out. Actually, I'm just starting to not only figure this out, but maybe even actually doing something about these things. Do I wish I figured it out sooner in life? You bet I do. I try and get my students to start thinking about these things sooner than I did. I always tell them to learn from me and others so they can do things differently than we did. Even today as I write these thoughts and ideas over a cup of coffee before I start my day, there are many things that I need to work on and this morning I did work on one small little thing instead of putting it off like I normally do. I look at that choice and I know my day today (a Monday) will start out better than normal all because of a choice I made to do something different this morning.

How about you? What challenges are you going through that you are trying to make things better? Remember, we can learn so much from each other. I love being a teacher because I can help others get better. But the flip side is more true than that.... I get to learn from others. So drop me a note, leave some thoughts and ideas for me and others to learn from and make things better for you and others too.

Quote of the Week - March 11, 2013

3/12/2013

"The things which hurt, instruct." - Benjamin Franklin

I think the older you get the more this quote connects with you. They key is to have this (and other ideas like it) connect to you early in life rather than waiting for getting older to help you figure it out. I tell my students all the time, feel free to learn from me and others that are older than them so you don't take the time that we did to figure things out.

Learning more about Ben Franklin really shows me how smart he was. Those things that really matter in life, usually hurt us at some point in time and we have to learn from them. Life is full of teachable moments, we just have to look upon those moments as being able to learn from them rather than getting all upset and ticked off at those moments. Ben brings up so many important points about how we should live our lives. He learned many lessons himself about how he had to improve the way he did things. If you can find any of his writings, I suggest you take the time to read them.

So even if you don't like history, check out Ben Franklin. Not only is he a very wise man for the history of country, but he also learned some things about people and himself too. In life, improving ourselves and how we interact with others is one of the most important things we can deal with throughout our lifetime. What are your thoughts? Is Ben correct?

Quote of the Week for February 25, 2015

2/27/2013

“What seems to us as bitter trials are often blessings in disguise” - Oscar Wilde

We all have issues going on in our lives.  It seems now a day that so many people are having more issues in their lives that they must deal with. From money problems, the poor economy, the negative news around the country and around the world, in the media; there is no wonder the mood seems to be sad and depressing at times.

But what about if we took a step back and took a deep breath and tried to look at each issue by itself instead of one big jumbled mess. The things that I’ve been working on, I’ve tried to do just that.  I’m trying to ask myself, “What can I do about that?”  It’s always good to try and deal with things that we can actually do something about. It’s taken me a long time to realize that fact, and to tell you the truth, I still need to be reminded about it all the time it seems. Worrying really doesn't do any good at all.   I've found that if I deal with things that I can control, I feel much better about all the things going on in my life.

I've also began to see that there is opportunity in these bitter trials. Mostly it’s the opportunity for me to get better.  While others may blame, criticize and condemn others for their situations; I’m trying to learn to look for the chances for me to get better and to improve the situation that I find myself in. Does it work all the time? No way, but it’s getting better. There are usually things that come out of tough times that make us better in the long run. That involves having patience and the ability to actually do something about the situations that we find ourselves in. It’s a long process sometimes and we have to remember that life is indeed a journey and there are many things that happen along that journey.

Any insights? Any thoughts? Ideas?  Always looking to learn from others – and I know others are looking to learn from you too. Go on… be a difference maker by offering your ideas to help yourself, me and others.

Quote of the Week - December 10, 2012

12/10/2012

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” - Maria Robinson

I think all of us at one time or another dwell on our past, for both good and not so good reasons. I've come to realize that my past is something to learn from, get better for today and for my future from those experiences. I heard a great thought a few days ago about the past. It's always been said that the past is the past and that we can't go back and change anything, so it's best to move on. This person also went on to say that our past got us to where we are today. That's the point that stuck out to me as something to dwell on and connect with. My past, as yours too, has gotten us to where we are today. Good, bad and indifferent; that is something that we need to accept.

Something else to think about as the quote above suggests. The things we think about and end up doing today, will not only become our past of tomorrow; but it will lead us to our future as well. I'm trying very hard to spend time thinking about my past and how it's gotten to me where I am today. There are changes I'm also trying to make today from where my past has gotten me to, since I know that I have the power and control to change things today and in my future. Here is what I think is the missing piece to think about with the quote above. The changes that we make today, don't just affect us. They affect the people that we care about too. Looking back, if I knew this little nugget in high school; wow.. the changes I could have made back then to lead me to a different future. But the important factor is I didn't know and still wound up here in my future. Looking around where I am today, it's still pretty good. I'm in a good place and I'm working to make it and my future better.

Now, if you are in high school now - you need to stop and ponder this a little bit. Do your "homework" on this thought for sure, in other words spend a few minutes thinking about learning from your past, don't get down about it and let it keep you from doing great things today and in your future. It really doesn't matter what age you are, the younger the better for you I guess. Take a couple of things to work on. Things to get better at and keep moving forward towards your goals and dreams. There is no age limit on this fact. No matter when you start throughout your lifetime, you can make a new ending for sure.

This teacher loves to learn from others. Do you have any ideas or thoughts on this quote that others can learn from,especially me? Leave me your thoughts and ideas as I'm always interested in reading what you have to say.