Category: - Coach to Expect Success

EQ - It's A Difference Maker

10/1/2019

Found a great article that I had to share with my students on the importance on having Emotional Intelligence in our lives in order to succeed. Check out the article HERE. It got me thinking about a book that I read years ago called.."The Emotional Intelligence Quick Book" by Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves. It's one that I had to pull out of one of my bags as I put it in there with great intent to read it this past summer... needless to say I did not but I still need to read this again.

EQ is something that all of us can work on to get better at. It has so much to do with all the important areas of life - check out this picture that is a great indicator:

Looking at these "leaves", I can see so many of them that (at least to me - my opinion) that they simply blow having a large IQ, out of the water!! Now again, don't get me wrong as I know having a great IQ is not horrible. But the way I see it, the things on this "tree" are just a lot more meaningful in & throughout life that I'd take these things first. It's a good thing too, since I know my IQ is not off the charts anywhere.

Emotional Intelligence predicts performance, so it certainly seems like a good thing to work on and try to improve throughout our lifetime. As I sit here and think about my students (some, maybe not all of them) and the opportunity they have for their lives to improve them, now, at their age... wow I am just blown away comparing it to my timeline of knowing about this after the age of 35 (at least!)

This brings a HUGE connection to our term this week from our Positivity Project - Open Mindedness. It's so powerful to be able to take some new ideas and come up with ways of improving ourselves. So the backend of this idea of my students getting exposed to these skills now at their young ages compared to me where it was later in life, and think of all the people who never take a venture out to learn about EQ or even improving their own EQ. WOW! I think we all know plenty of people who need to work on improving this in their lives, but choose to ignore it or even let their negative thinking get in the way of ever even trying. I know that I do not want to be one of those people who won't ever look at this "tree" above and not want to try and get better in all of those "leaves".

EMPATHY - The Great Connecting Piece Of Life's Puzzle

5/12/2016

“If you can put yourself in the other person’s shoes, even if you don’t agree, then you can often see the issue from their perspective. This will then open the door for collaboration and communication." – Gail Gross

One of the most powerful views we can take in life is that of Empathy. It’s something that is needed in life for sure. Like other important skills in life, it works best the sooner you learn it. Empathy is all about seeing things from other people’s point of view. Looking around the world, it’s easy to see how much it’s needed. We can’t keep waiting for others do things that are right – it’s up to us to start now in trying to make a difference in the world.

It’s one of the skills that I try and promote to all my students. It’s one of the skills that I constantly try and remind myself that I need to get better at. Having people in my life that offer a variety of opinions, thoughts, backgrounds, ideas, etc., makes me a better person. Just because people don’t think the same way as I do, doesn’t mean I can’t be friends with them. In fact the older I get, the more I think I need these variety of thoughts and opinions in my life. It’s funny since also as I get older, I’m getting more set in my ways too. Life sure becomes interesting when you involve others’ point of view.

The ability to put yourself in someone’s shoes and see things from their point of view is something that is such a valuable skill. If you look at disagreements, arguments, problems in relationships; empathy is the main ingredient in helping in these areas. Since life really comes down to the quality and value in our relationships, this skill is one of the main building blocks I think in life.

When I read student feedback about our Leadership lessons and they mention the fact that they do try and use empathy to see how other people are feeling and apply those lessons to their own lives, that is really cool to see. I can’t tell you the number of times as I’m reading those student comments and I start getting the tears flowing (sometimes right into my coffee), really starts my day off in a great direction when I’m reading them in the morning.

My students teach me more than they will ever know. Their teachings, the lessons I get from their stories and feedback are very powerful. It’s one of THEE most valuable experiences I have as a teacher that applies great benefits to my life and also that affects the lives of people that I connect with too. Want some advice? Try it. Try using a little empathy to help you understand others but will ultimately help yourself too.

Quote of the Week - October 7, 2013

10/8/2013

"There are many ways of going forward, but only one way of standing still." -- Franklin D. Roosevelt

Standing still is just not in my plans any more. I look back and there have been a few too many spots in my life where I have stood still and let things go by, let things affect me without doing anything. and even let things affect me where I stop moving forward and blamed those other things. This moving forward idea or mindset has been on my mind for years now. So many things happening in education for example (and life in general too) where standing still is not an option. I have really been focusing on these things that are affecting me - using them to make myself better.

Standing still is just about like giving up. Believe me, there have been plenty of times that I have done just that. It hasn't been permanent though. These things that happen throughout life - all of them are just things that we have a choice about. We can let them affect us, beat us up, change us for the worse or we can take them on, fight back and have them change us for the better. When you look and think about that statement from President Roosevelt, there truly is only 1 way of standing still. You stop. Just take a moment to think about all the different ways there are to keep moving forward. Holy Cow! Are you kidding me? How the heck did he know that this is so true? Simply put, he was a man who lived this statement over and over again throughout his lifetime. We can do the same thing.

As much as I hear just about everyone talking about how fast time is going by - and for me personally it is doing just that - isn't it time that we look at all the different ways there are to move forward in so many areas of our lives? Relationships, financially, spiritually, professionally, fitness wise, the list goes on and on and on. Just take a few minutes to think about just 2 areas where you can move forward in and all the different ways you can do just that. In the time it took to write that last sentence - way more than 2 came into my head on what I can do to move forward in. Not only think about a couple - but share them with me or others... get others thinking about this statement. Show them all the different ways there are to moving forward and not just standing still. I look forward to hearing some of your thoughts as always.

Quote of the Week - August 5, 2013

8/5/2013

"Life is way too short to spend another day at war with yourself." - unknown

This quote stuck out to me big time - I really think anyone of us could put their name after this one as being the author. It's been a rough week. A number of friends have lost someone this past week it seems and it also included finding out that one of my high school classmates passed away too.

So when I saw this quote, two things came into my mind really quick. The first was how so true the first part is: Life is way too short! That statement, the older I get, really is one of the all-time true statements. I think a huge key is for people to realize it early on in life so that things can be different in their lives. It's a wisdom thing I think and as we all know, wisdom comes with age and experience. So maybe it's not meant to be learned or understood at a young age?? But I think it should and I also think it's possible too. I know plenty of young people who do indeed seem to have this understood.

The second part that jumped out to me and once again - it either punched me real quick in the nose or at least slapped me across the face and got my attention was being at war with myself. This, more than any other problem probably that I have (and there are many it seems), is one that I know I've spent too much time on in my lifetime. There are so many great leadership & life teachers that mention this statement - we have to overcome ourselves before great things can happen. We must get out of our own way to go anywhere. Oh, how true it is.

As always, I love learning from others and their thoughts, ideas, and experiences. What lesson do you draw out of this statement? Have you ever thought about this fact? August is a great time to re-focus on things as summer winds down. Let me and others know what you think.

Quote of the Week - June 17, 2013

6/16/2013

"Sharpen your interest in two major subjects: life and people. You will only gather information from a source if you are interested in it." -- Jim Rohn

What a great quote - summertime or during the school year, it doesn't matter. We all should "major" in these two subjects. The key is - where to find the info on these two important topics? One is from the man that gave us this quote. I suggest that you find him on Twitter (@OfficialJimRohn), find his pages on Facebook, check out his website (http://www.jimrohn.com) and find any of his outstanding books that are out there too.

These two subjects should be something that we are all passionate about. Getting good in these two areas will open up the doors for so many other areas. Since we only get one shot at life, we might as well do all we can to make our journey the best it can be. Along with the idea that so many people come in and out of our lives throughout our lifetime, it too is something we might as well handle the best we can by learning as much as we can about people. As I tell my students and my two kids all the time about finding things to be passionate about and then chase after those things.

Study, read, learn all you can about these two subjects. They are simple by just the words - but oh so difficult to really learn about. There is not a better time to learn and study - it's summer! A perfect time to do some reading, thinking and learning. In fact, I will be doing just that. Look for some more things coming out that not only might help you, but I know for sure it will help me. Speaking about help, help me and others by letting me know what you think about this quote. Leave some thoughts here or get in touch with me.

Quote of the Week - January 28, 2013

1/28/2013

“When opportunity comes, it’s too late to prepare.” - Coach John Wooden

So many quotes connect with my life, this is just one of many. I know that I've missed out on opportunities since I wasn't prepared. It's one of the many things I try and get my students to learn from my examples. Coach John Wooden was one who didn't wait for opportunities to come his way. He not only prepared for them before they came, he made his own opportunities for himself and his teams. What a great lesson for all of us, especially in today's worrisome times.

I saw another story that had a part that really stood out to me, it actually gave me a quick little poke on my nose to wake me up and remind me -again, of things I should be doing. This was from John Tapene, from Northland College on some comments he heard from a judge who deals with teens. Part of this said ".... start behaving like a responsible person. You are important and you are needed. It's too late to sit around and wait for somebody to do something someday. Someday is now and somebody is you."

This really connected with me. I made a comment on this entire message (which I will put below this entry) on Facebook that this message is not just for teens. It's for each and every one of us. Today is the day to prepare and yes, that somebody is indeed me to get ready for the opportunities that are out there.

Any thoughts on this or the picture below? Always interested in what you have to say as I know I can learn so much from you.

Quote of the Week - January 21, 2013

1/23/2013

"If you want to be happy, set a goal that commands your thoughts, liberates your energy and inspires your hopes." - Andrew Carnegie

Finding this quote on a Monday and thinking about having goals for today (a teacher meeting day) along with goals for the week ahead; got me thinking about having these thoughts going for me long term. Instead of just a Monday or a week, I'm thinking (and I know that) I need to have these going for my future. Thinking about Andrew Carnegie (the steel industry guy) and all the success that he had with people and leadership; I know it's coming from a good source too.

I had a good discussion with a colleague today about focusing in on important things in life. That there are only so many things that we can control and actually do something about ourselves. Happiness comes from the fact that we have the ability to command over our thoughts on those things that are important and that are really important to us. The key is to realize this as soon as we can for then we still have time on our side to do something with this fact. The longer it takes for us to realize the truth to this statment the further away from true happiness I think we will be.

What are your thoughts on this quote? What lessons can you teach me and others with your opinions and thoughts? Please let me know here.

Quote of the week - November 12, 2012

11/12/2012

"Be careful how you are talking to yourself because you are listening." ~ Lisa M. Hayes

What a great quote to start out the week with on a Monday morning. Try and catch yourself today (and everyday) where you are battling some negative self talk. Since we are the only ones that are with our self, 24-7, 365 days a year; we really have to watch what we say to ourselves.There is
nothing more hurtful to ourselves and what we want to do with our lives, than to have negative self-talk. Do things that are necessary to talk positively about yourself to yourself. That means, don't be a "poser". You can't fake yourself out. There is no way to think positively about yourself if you aren't living a good and positive life.If we are doing things that we know we shouldn't be doing, we can't get away from knowing about those things.

We might be able to hide it from others, but there is no way of hiding it from ourselves. As we get started this week, whatever you are working on, make a point to stop and think about what you are thinking about and what you are saying to yourself. As always, I'm very interested in your thoughts, ideas and experiences. One think I've learned a long time ago, eventhough I've been a
teacher for almost 24 years, I cand (and should) be a student when it comes to learning about things. No matter how old you are, I know you can teach a few things to me... so thank you for any and all comments.

What is your Dash?

6/25/2012

What is your dash?

Summer is usually a time of year that we slow down a little bit. Rest, relax and reflect about things that are going on in our lives. Hopefully we are able to spend time with family and friends a little more during the summer than the rest of the year.

One thing to maybe reflect upon this summer, and I know I have to do this more often, is to think about our “dash”. I don’t mean running a race, which with my knee is a good thing that’s not what I mean. I’m talking about our dash as it connects to our life. There is an inspirational poem by Linda Ellis that I’ve used in my Leadership classes that I teach. The dash is that one little character that is between our date and year of our birth and the date and year that we die.

We all see the date of a person’s birth and the date that they die, but the dash in-between the two dates is what that person’s life was really all about. What do we spend our dash doing? What makes a lifetime fit into one little character? I ask that you check out her poem and there is a short movie clip on it too that you can watch. Then please, not only do I want you to start thinking about how you are spending your dash; but please let me know what your thoughts are. I’m looking for inspiration and help with some of my writings.

So please, if you can get back to me with some feedback on Facebook, through my blog, or by email. I would really appreciate any thoughts you had on this as I am really looking at personally improving my dash along with getting some help with things I’d like to write about.

Graduation time!!

5/22/2012

Well another year has come and gone here at Lake Shore High School. The class of 2012 will be my 19th graduating class while I've been here at Lake Shore. So many great and wonderful people that I have met throughout those 19 years. Many of them had some type of impact on me as a person, let alone as a teacher for sure. The class of 2012 faces many challenging times ahead, but they also have so many more opportunities as well. It's been my honor and privilege to have worked with my seniors this year. I hope they realize that they have a very bright future ahead of them. A few things to remember: Always work hard, stay positive, keep good people around you, find and go after your passions in life, always work on your Character, Tasks and Relationships in your life. Life is a journey - enjoy the lilttle steps along the way towards your dreams and goals! Keep in touch - through this website, find me on Facebook or follow me on Twitter @coachtosuccess.