Blog Posts - Coach to Expect Success

Character Traits - Positivity Project

9/20/2019

We are starting the Positivity Project here at Lake Shore High School. It's all about the #OtherPeopleMatterMindset What we say and do every day does affect others. Many of us have taken a character survey from http://www.viacharacter.org/ The 24 Character Traits that it has on it really gives us some great reflection ideas on how we can improve ourselves. Like I told my students, I need all the help I can get with trying to improve and get better.

The one I will be focusing on improving over the next week is Perseverance. (It's #24 on my list) Just to focus on not giving up on things. I also need to have a little bit more patience with the things that I'm working on and not looking to just finish or to come back to it later, but to hang in there and finish things more. This survey was very accurate as I've struggled with this point just about all my life. Next week's Character Trait is CURIOSITY - I need to be more curious about finding ways to get better at this (and all of them actually). ;-) My third one I will be focusing in on is Forgiveness (mainly on myself). So many times I get down on myself and I need to have more positive self-talk instead of self defeating talk inside my own head. Remember, we are our own worst critics!!

From the Video that we watched about the P2 Project at Fayetteville-Manlius High School (Manlius, NY), I really enjoyed watching the interaction with staff and students about this awesome project. The ease that the students talked about their experiences were amazing! They have really bought into this program and are helping to make it part of the culture at their school. There was one senior that spoke about how critical it was for him to stop listening to everyone else and to listen to his own inner voice being guided by his 24 Character Traits. Very cool stuff! Finally - the decorative hallways. With those traits all over the place, I think that is something we can accomplish in the next couple of years here at Lake Shore High School.

This is a great reminder to all of us (especially to me) that we do affect others with everything we say and do. We affect ourselves with our thinking as well. Other people do indeed matter for sure and it's powerful to remember that along with we ourselves matter!! My definition of success, joy and happiness has been changed for the better due to this project!!

The Sting

8/14/2019

The power of reading great books can be life-changing for sure. "Lead With No Apologies" by Jesse A. Cole, Jr. is one of those books. Find the book HERE. One of the main points I wanted to share today was about having an important conversations with your future self. Sounds a little bit strange, I know. But, it's a really powerful concept to try and wrap your head around too.

Think about what your future self would tell you about things that you did well to get you where you will be in the future. Not this can be for a year, five years, whatever time period you want it to be. But also be ready for the tough feedback you might hear from your future self too. Now i'ts not meant to be embarassing or maybe it is. You see, it will only be for you. Nobody else has to know about it. It's not going to be out there all over social media - only if you put it out there will it be.

Hopefully the things that your future self brings up to you, are things that you already know. It's a way to put some skin into the game about fixing things that you know you should fix. I know as I have this important conversation with my future self, many of them in fact - I know it's leading me in a fantastic direction for my life. I hope it can for you too. Remember, your past is your best mentor. Never forget where you came from too. It's connected to your future more than you think. So when you have that important conversation with your future self, remember you both will know and understand those things from your past. You have either learned lessons from those things or maybe you have not learned the lessons yet. Either way, you have the opportunity to start learning from them. That will make for a brighter future too.

Check out more from Jesse Cole at: https://www.kingdommogulcoaching.com/

Examine Our Lives With Gratitude

8/7/2019

Another amazing event that we had this past weekend that came with more life lessons that made a big impact on me. We went to a fantastic wedding - BIG SHOUT OUT to Kelsey & Cody!! Amazing time with so many awesome people. There were so many of my former students there in attendance - besides the bride & groom being former students too. It reminded me as to how much gratitude I have for these "kids" - I guess they will always be my kids eventhough they are all playing the adult game of life & playing it really well. So many of my former students inspire me with not only what they are doing now with their lives, but they also inspired me when they were in high school too. So many valuable conversations that I had with them throughout their years in school. Many times I got so much positive feedback and encouragement from them, that there was a distinct difference they made in my life.

Combined with some items from Brian Buffini's book again - "The Emigrant Edge", all about gratitude. It should be a core value of our lives as it affects really all that we do. I felt so much gratitude at this weeding. Not only for all the great people around, but mostly because I was with my wife! Going to a wedding in which there are great people, great food & drink, fantastic music, a lot of room to walk around, along with watching my wife enjoy herself so much. I'm blessed with so much gratitude having her in my life - for almost 30 years of marriage.

Another BIG SHOUT OUT to Dr. Jeff Lip and his latest guest, Denyse from Canada. I think it was his best show that he has evver done - please check that out (and all of his shows) at www.jefflip.com I hope that after you listen to this show - that you take a more examined look at your life. These two are just a small part of so many great relationships that I have in my life. They make such a difference for me in my life.

Check out that person in the mirror a little more often and ask yourself - "how are things going?". Then work whatever your answers are. I know I'm trying to do this everyday. It's all part of doing your life's "homework." Reach out and let me know how your homework is going?

It's Time ....

8/3/2019

Wow... what a productive morning today!! I got up with my cup of coffee and our dog sitting on my lap as I finished up another book - "The Bottom of The Pool" by Andy Andrews. What a fabulous book and I knew it would be since I listened to Andy Andrews on 3 different podcasts - 2 as a guest on Brian Buffini's Podcast and the other was on John O'Leary's podcast. The third one of course was on Andy's own podcast - "The Professional Noticer". The discussions I heard about this book sold me on getting a copy.

His book really got me thinking about my thinking! It's everything to me as my thinking affects every thing in my life. You might say duh... that's not a surprise at all. But to hear it from him, to read it in the words that he shared so many stories about this - WOW was all I could say after reading it. That is a book that you want to make sure you get your hands on for sure.

I also watched a video clip this morning sent to me by a good friend, Stan Targosz. He sent it to Dr. Jeff Lip too as the 3 of us had a fabulous meeting this past week in recording a podcast for Jeff's show - again, a must listen to... find it (after August 12, 2019) and all of his podcasts at www.jefflip.com - We had some FANTASTIC and POWERFUL discussion both before and after the show. I walked out of there very excited and fired up about things in my life. A product that usually comes from hanging out with awesome people like Stan and Jeff.

Finally, I got to work out this morning - which I'm back on my schedule of every other day getting to the gym. That also allows me to listen to some great podcasts, do some awesome thinking, and always walking out of there feeling better about life and myself. This morning was no different. Scott Smith (The Daily Boost podcast), https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/motivationtomovecom/daily-boost mentioned about that it's time to become the person you have always wanted to be. To start doing the things that you need to do in order to start making that happen. The little things matter for sure. Changing habits matter. Our thinking matters. Action steps matter! Again, this is something that I know has to happen, but for many reasons (my excuses) they have not happened. Amazing to get re-connected with this again. I needed to hear it!

"Dr. Ron's Words of Wisdom" (https://drronblake.com/welcome-to-dr-rons-words-of-wisdom/) was another podcast that I got to listen to, with help of Sam Crowley. Dr. Ron mentioned that "only the prepared are in a position to change directions". Again, total truth that needed to find it's way into my mind & heart. Taking the action steps, changing my habits, doing little things that become big things!

What a great way to start my day and hope you use this to help yourself out a little.

What Would Our Ancestors Do Today With The Opportunities That We Have?

7/24/2019

This has been something that has been on my mind lately as I have heard this idea recently from at least one podcast that I listen to, if not more than one. It's also in my heart too as it's really hitting me hard as of late.

I look at my parents. Thank God I still have them in my life as they are right around that 80 year old mark. I've only known them to be hard workers, good people, having lot's of friends, both being difference makers in their careers and quite frankly fantastic parents to me and my sister. I wonder what they would do with the opportunites out there now, if they found them in their early years? I'll have to ask them and that sounds like it could be a great podcast to do too with them.

I am really intrigued with what their parents (my grandparents), my great-grandparents, my great-great grandparents and so on would do with today's opportunities. I know that everything is relevant to the time that they are in or a part of. I also know that it's not really possible to find the answers to these questions since my relatives are long gone. I'd like to think the skills they had during their lifetimes would somehow benefit them if they were around today. One advantage for sure is if they had their prior knowledge with them. They could compare as to how hard they really had it and how much better we are off in today's world.

I know for a fact that with that prior knowledge would be pure gold. Just imagining it I think can be used to our advantage today! I look at it from the viewpoint what would I want my kids, my students & players, to learn from me today to apply to their futures. I also view it from the standpoint that based upon all the work, sacrifice, hardships, tough choices, etc., that they had in their lives - that I don't want to waste my opportunities that I have. Simply put, I would obviously not be here if it were not for them doing what they did - touch times & tough choices and all. I really feel that I would dishonor them if I did not work hard at going after my dreams and goals. It's a force that is certainly bigger than me and it's very powerful too.

My son is working on being a certified Geneologist and has a lot of details on our family tree. I need to dig a little bit to make more personal connections to my family members and find out a little bit more on maybe exactly what they might do with today's opportunities.

Am I the only one thinking like this? I wonder???

What A Saturday It Was!

7/14/2019

This past Saturday, July 13 was a great day for two distinct reasons. It all has to do with people that I am blessed to have in my life.

First was an early morning golf outing benefiting a scholarship fund at Lake Shore High School. This was not just any scholarship, it was the Austin Lipscomb Memorial Scholarship fund named after a great kid that lost his life a few years ago. Another key connection is that his dad is a coworker and a good friend of mine. Craig is the backbone of this incredible outing. He is the one, along with family and great friends, who take the time to put this all together. It's always a lot of fun and this year was the same - a lot of fun with awesome people. I got the honor of playing with coworkers & good friends of mine - Todd, Paul and the one and only Dr. Jeff Lip - which by the way was his first time playing golf. He was asking a lot of questions, he hit some really great shots too and of course there was a lot of laughter coming from all of us today. What a great honor it was to raise some money for a great scholarship.

The day capped off with a wedding. Not just any wedding mind you, but one that brought together two more of my coworkers. Donna and Rich got married and what an emotional night it was. These two people are just so down to earth, great friends. Rich was a major difference maker in my life when he introduced me to some fantastic people that taught me a ton about life and leadership. He's been there for me through a lot during the years. A true difference maker for me and really has helped improve me as an educator, coach, husband, heck, as a person. Donna - I've known her from day one when I got to Lake Shore. She's one of the few people there that has been there longer than I have. She has helped me countless times along with (not kidding here) every person in the building, just about every year. You see, for both of them this is there 2nd marriage and they had alot of family there to celebrate with them. The happiness that I saw there, simply brought me to tears. It's what life is all about. Great people celebrating BIG with some amazing people.

The entire day - the long day - was great. It reminded me how blessed I am to have the life that I have. The golf was a lot of fun. We didn't win mind you, but for us, that was not the reason we were playing anyway. My wife looked great for the wedding, so it was a fantastic "date night" that we got to have. Moments like this will stay with me for life. It's all about people and I hope you realize that too. Life's all about relationships and the positive interactions that you can have and the difference you can make for others too.

Those That Offer The Most Value, WIN!

7/12/2019

If you want to win in life, offer more. The more value you offer in life, not just in your profession, but in life - you will have more winning moments for sure. One of the key ingredients in this mindset is to understand first of all how rare it is. Just the mere action that you take to offer more value, to go the extra mile, that will put you in rare air. The best part of this is that since most people are not doing this, they make you look absolutely amazing by doing what they do!

I have many of these experiences in everyday life, again, since they are easy to spot in today's world. One of these happened with of course, one of our cars. I go to Mike Dorian Ford in Clinton Township, MI. There are 3 people there that offer above and beyond service in what they do. First is the salesman that I go to there, his name is Bob. He's taken care of us for plenty of our vehicles over the years and he does a great job. Again, so many other car salesmen & women, don't bring a lot to the game. Many years ago, we went to another dealership and the salesman turned me off so much with his attitude, and how he talked about other people - I have not been back there since.

The service department that I go to is led by a guy named Shawn. Funny thing, there was another dealership that we got a few of our cars from years ago, a Lincoln/Mercury dealership and Shawn worked there for awhile. Due to our salesman from that dealership, his name is Chris along with Shawn, I kept taking my cars for service to that dealership. Once we started buying Fords when the Mercury brand disappeared, that's how I got connected to the Ford dealership. Guess what? Shwan became the Service Manager at the Ford dealership. I see how he handles things, working with his coworkers, how he treats the customers, the way he carries himself, these things really stand out to me. So now, since again I have a great duo to go to, I won't be going anywhere else.

Funny thing again as now there is a trio of people that continue to offer fantastic service with their great attitudes. Jackie is one of the customer service reps that I noticed her right away. The way she interacted with the customers, her fabulus smile and positive attitude was easy to spot. She takes so much pride and openly let's everyone know that she loves her job. I found out from Shawn today when I picked up our car that had a recall service appointment, that she was hired at the Lincoln dealership from a sub shop that was near there due to her outstanding qualities that she shows today. She just kind of laughed at the story and mentioned how lucky she is to work at a place that she loves working at so much. I will be filling out my survey that they send out and I will make sure that I let them know there how valuable these three people are.

Wherever you are in your life, you need to add this kind of value wherever you work, wherever you live. It will get you noticed more than you ever thought it could. When the old saying says go an extra mile, you need to look to go at least the extra 2 or even 5 miles. The world is crying for people to take the lead in customer service and leadership. These three are the latest example of people that bring it to whatever they do in life.

Laughter & Good People

7/10/2019

My last two podcasts had themes about laughter, joy and gratitude and how we need to have more of it in life. I know this is true for me as I've been seeing the need more and more to find more joy and less anger, negativity, resentment, etc. I've been noticing people in my life that I find genuine joy with hanging out wit them. I got to have breakfast with my good friend Will Hitchcock - a former student and my longest running speaker that I bring into my classes that I teach. He's been speaking to my classes roughly since 2004. He's one of my top favorite speakers in my Principle of Leadership classes every year.

Another meeting over food - same restaurant too later that same day, was with my good friends Alan and Linda. Alan is a former colleague that worked with Linda and I - but he's been retired for a few years and we try and get together a couple of times a year. Hopefully next time - later next month - we will have even more of the ol' workplace gang out to have lunch with Alan too.

But this day was a lot of joy and laughter with these people. I realized that I need to do more of that too. Hanging out with good people in life is good for everyone involved. Life is what we make of it and if life's all about relationships - which it is, then hanging out with great people is really what it's all about. Plus you can never go wrong with a place that has good food too. :-)

Sense of Humor Is Key In Life!

6/30/2019

On Thursday, June 27 I got the opportunity with two good friends of mine, Paul & Craig - to see the one and only David Feherty at the Fox Theater in Detroit, Michigan. I have always been a big fan of his throughout his playing & broadcasting careers. So when I saw that he was having his show there, I knew I had to go. Let me tell you - he was incredible!! An absolute joy to laugh so hard for just about the entire 2 hours and 15 minutes that he spoke.

One of the key elements that David talked about was having a sense of humor. Some of his language could be deemed offensive by some people and he made sure that was never his intent. His intent is to show humor in life's ups and downs. In fact, he mentioned one important thing - and I agree with him. It's tough to trust someone who doesn't have a sense of humor. Maybe trust is a strong word, but at least it's tough to work with them, like them or have a good relationship with them. I think many people are drawn to people with a sense of humor in life.

To hear his story of the ups (playing pro golf, winning tournaments, and playing in the Ryder Cup) and the lows (alcohol / drugs, growing up in a war zone, divorce, etc.) and his sense of humor and gratitude are what got him through life. You see, he became a citizen of the United States after he was born in Northern Ireland. The importance of what this country offered him as far as opportunities - he did not take that for granted. During his talk he shared his love and affection for the USA and it was one of the many things that helps to connect him to many people.

I walked out of this show in total gratitude for what he shared with us. Laughing so hard that there were tears in my eyes and to share it with friends made it even more enjoyable. It's been said that laughter is good for the soul, and I totally believe it. I walked out of there more appreciative and grateful for what I have in my life. I also will be focusing on having a sense of humor more in my life, especially when I look at myself. There are many ups and downs in everyone's life and David reminds us to look for those humorus moments and laugh a little bit at them before you go and do something about it.

Imagination - Not Just For Kids

6/24/2019

Going back a little bit - to when we were all kids and Imagination was a big part of our lives. As we get older, we tend to lose it a little bit of it. The key is to keep it alive as it is so important for us to control our thoughts, control our thinking and actualy think about things in our future. Listening to Andy Andrews a lot lately and this was one thing he brought up with Bruce Van Horn on his Life Is A Marathon podcast - check it out here: http://www.lifeisamarathon.com/liam-477-andy-andrews-the-bottom-of-the-pool/ This is a great show to listen to. Find some time to do just that.

The things he brings up are so basic, yet so powerful. This is a wonderful conversation that really gets us thinking about the power of not only controling our thoughts, but also the importance / necessity to think about things we want to have happen in our lives. I've been listening to a lot about Andy Andrews' message that centers around his new book "The Bottom of The Pool" and the coversations that I've been listening to lately about this book, there are some powerful and important messages that must be listened to from this.

This will be a book that I will have to pick up very soon.