Blog Posts - Coach to Expect Success

Morning Reflections & Life Purpose

6/17/2019

We recently had our last day of school - for me it was my 30th last day of school. It started with reflection and a cup of coffee. I found myself taking a few extra minutes looking at the countless pictures and magnets on our refrigerator and in doing so, I had some tears going to start my day. You see, the pictures are from family & a few friends throughout the years. The Magnets? They are from so many of the places during our married life that we have been blessed enough to visit. Obviously or whole fridge is covered and that's just how we like it.

As I was heading in for my last day of school for my 30th year, it hit me. How blessed I am to be doing what I'm doing for a living along with even more so, how blessed I am to be part of all of those pictures and magnets. I think by looking back at times we can be helped in our present which directly affects our future. Without learning from our past, we do ourselves a big injustice. We always have to remember that our past is one of our best mentors that we will ever have in our lives. This few little moments that I took to start my last day of school for this year, did me a world of good.

I also found this article, from Success Magazine of course - love the title, love the content of these stories. This article was all about finding your purpose in the world. It really helped connect me to becoming better and doing more in my life. It got me fired up for sure and I know it will last awhile this summer. Check out the article here: https://www.success.com/clarify-your-purpose-in-the-world/ Sit back and enjoy this show as I got really fired up for this one. It was a great start to my day and I hope it is for you too. Find my podcast show here - #279: http://www.buzzsprout.com/110453/1282933-morning-reflections-on-purpose-podcast-279

D-Day Memories With A Friend... John Wisely

6/8/2019

This post is a copy of a fantastic article that a friend & high school classmate of mine, John Wisely wrote about D-Day rememberence during the 50th Anniversary. June 6, 2019 marked the 75th Anniversary of one of the most important dates in our world's history. Thanks to John for allowing me to repost it here so that we can learn & remember some of the powerful lessons from this part of our history. I've also made a note of it in my podcast #275 - you can listen to that HERE. Here is John's article:

John Wisely – story on 50th Anniversary of D-Day

"You know you’ve been in this business a long time when you see the 75th Anniversary of D-Day in the news and you remember covering the 50th. I was working Downriver at the News-Herald and the paper put out arequest for D-Day veterans to share their stories for a special section to coincide with the 50th Anniversary of the invasion.    The subject of my profile was Pfc. John Nerowski of Wyandotte, Mich. He was one of the most memorable interviews of my career.

We met him at his home. I asked him to tell me about his involvement and he was off to the races. For the next two hours, he talked non-stop, pacing the living room floor waving his hands as he spoke. I scratched notes as fast as I could. He was 18 in 1944 and his Army unit prepared for the invasion. In England, they practiced for the orders they knew were coming. They’d be awakened in the middle of the night by officers blowing whistles to roust them.   They’d dress on the fly, sling gear on their backs and race to their boats only to find an officer there staring at his watch to check their time. Just a practice. Go back to bed.  It happened repeatedly.

As the calendar turned to June, the tension grew. The night before the invasion, they were pretty sure this was the real thing. Nerowski was convinced he would die in the attack so he sought out a priest and confessed his sins to clear his conscience. His was the second wave to hit Omaha Beach. The first wave was pretty much wiped out when they arrived. He described climbing over the bodies of his comrades, some of whom were not yet dead. Some of them were crying out for their mothers as they died. Troops were under strict orders to not stop in the water lest they become casualties themselves. He said ignoring their cries was the hardest thing he ever did. He made it ashore safely but about 75% of his unit died that day. Over the course of the rest of the war, about 95% his unit was killed in action. He was a statistical outlier in history’s bloodiest war.

Nerowski took some grenade shrapnel in his forearm. It was enough to earn a Purple Heart, but not enough to keep him out of the fight. He was part of group that liberated one of the concentration camps, where he saw piles of corpses and prisoners on the edge of starvation.

After the war, he returned to Wyandotte, married a pretty Polish girl and started a family. After he’d been talking to me for about two hours, he excused himself to use the bathroom. When he walked out of the room I looked over at his wife, who’d sat silently through the whole thing. She was crying.   I told her she’d probably heard all these stories before. She shook her head no. They’d been married 40 years and he’d never before spoke of it. She’d asked him many times over the years about his experiences. His answer was always the same: “It was awful’ he’d tell her, offering no details. She told me he still had nightmares about it. They came frequently when he was younger but less often as he aged. Still, once a month, or every other month, he’d start thrashing about in his sleep, screaming and kicking hard enough to bruise her. She’d shake him awake and he’d be soaked with sweat.

When I interviewed him in 1994, he’d recently retired from a long career as a butcher. For more than 30 years, he worked the meat counter at the local Farmer Jack store.   I couldn’t help but wonder how many people over the years had thanked him for some chops or a roast, never knowing what he’d been through as a teenager. I wrote his story and it ran in that special section. When someone bares their soul to you like that, you always wonder what they thought of your piece. Did I capture him correctly? Did I do justice to his story?

A few days after it ran, I got an answer of sorts. I didn’t see him come in, but I glanced out the office window and spotted him walking out the door with a pile of special sections under his arm. I took that as a stamp of approval.

The internet tells me he died in 2011 at age 85. God bless the John Nerowskis of the world.
Journalism faces an existential crisis right now and we all worry about its future, but it’s still an honor to tell people’s stories."

What Are We Thinking?

5/30/2019

I recently shared this image with my students for one of our weekly blog posts and a few of the responses that have been turned in so far, have gotten me thinking a little bit more about this. Our thoughts really are powerful, and sometimes that power might be causing us more problems than it does to help us. When we have thoughts running through our head - or at least mine - I find myself either being more inspired for the task that I am doing at the time or I'm too busy thinking about something else. With my lack of concentration for the task at hand, I find myself thinking about something else and then at times, stopping the current thing and moving onto something else just because the thought came into my head.

Now knowing that I do that at times - does help so I can stop myself more often to get back on track. Another thing I'm trying is to write a note down quickly about the thought / idea, and come back to it after I finish my current task. This really does affect how I am feeling - mainly about myself, but about life in general. When I'm fired up, feeling good about myself, my life, what I'm doing, etc., it for sure affects how I am acting at the current moment. Too many times when I'm not in a good frame of mind, my actions & words sometime come out in a very harsh way and sad to say, it's mostly at home when that happens.

This concept is very powerful as by reading some student posts and thinking about this post that I'm writing here, I can see how important it is for me to have control over my thoughts, beliefs, feelings and actions. Any moment that any of these are out of whack, I know that I can make an adjustment, just a little change (mostly it's my attitude & effort) that I can fix a little bit and great things seem to happen after that adjustment. It's funny, this point about taking control of our lives, especially our thinking, it's been said that life gets a lot easier when we do this. The things that we cut out that waste our time, make us feel down and to doubt ourselves, the people that are in our lives that whenever we walk away from a conversation with them - we are feeling worse than we did before??? Those are the things we have to fix. Taking responsibility for what goes into our heads, taking control of our thoughts, beliefs, feelings, and actions; it's so powerful (not easy) to do! I'm seeing some BIG TIME results and I want to do more of this. How about you?

Titles Don't Make Leaders - Here Are Some Things That Do!

5/10/2019

What a FANTASTIC article HERE by Chris Hogan. Check it out!

First off, no matter what you do in life these 7 points I know can help you in all that you do.

1. Value Every Relationship! No matter what people's titles are - try and value them as people. We all have things that we do well and we all have things that we struggle with too. Everyone you come into contact with, you can make a difference in the way their day is going along with the way maybe that they see themselves. They just might go and make a positive difference with someone else.

2. Think about your team's needs before your own. This certainly does not have to be sports team. Heck, your family is one of the first teams you need to think about. I'm 53 years old - I've been married for almost 29 years with 2 kids in their 20's now and I still need to focus on this one. They are the most important team I'm a part of. This also includes my work teams.. my students.. coworkers, etc. Great reminder for all of us.

3. Help your team grow! One of the many jobs of a leader is to help those around you become better. Encouragement is a biggie. Showing people around you how they can become better, how they can (and should) believe in themselves more too is a great idea. Keep setting them up for success and for them to learn how to improve along the way.

4. Share the credit. Remember, leaders don't usually accomplish many things on their own. There is always someone else that helps. Usually it's more than one person too. Any awards, recognition, pats on the back, etc., share them!

5. Should the blame! Goes right along with #4 - take on the responsibility of helping take the heat off others that you lead. Don't blame others. Any critics can address you as you will be the one to say "I will fix this." Of course there may have to be some conversations with some people, but as we all know those talks really can't happen while that person is under a bus that you threw them under. ;-)

6. Never say "That's not my job." This seems to be a line that is mentioned far too often in today's world. I've seen in so many times in so many different places. It's one thing that I try not to say, as it's a very popular mindset. There needs to be more of finding solutions. Find the person who's job it is and get them there to help whoever needs it. Focus on solutions is always a great way to be.

7. Be a person of character! One of the best things that we ALL CAN DO. You know what else?? The world needs us to go after this one for sure. If you look around at all the problems - private sector, public sector, etc., all of them can almost be connected to this fact that we need more people to a person of character. Telling the truth, your word is your bond, hard work, showing up on time, not cheating, not being selfish, etc. Best part of this one is we can help so many people just be being the example.

Despair Should Always Have Hope

5/7/2019

Amazing timing this past weekend. I got a message Sunday from John O'Leary that said - "Arrest the thief of despair. It may not be easy, but there is always a reason for hope in front of you."

When that message came through, it couldn't of been at a better time. At that moment I had some thoughts going on, a negative & down mindset happening due to my arthritis pain flaring up. You see, it's not just one part of my body - it's everywhere. I have mostly good moments, but there are times where it gets the best of me and I let it change my attitude, I let it change the way I communicated to my wife (which was not the most positive of manners), and I almost let it ruin a big chunk of my day.

There are so many times when we are given information when we need it the most. This message, along with his recent podcast where he interviewed Country singer Walker Hayes, really got me inspired to share this message with you today.

Check out this powerful podcast from John O'Leary HERE.

There have been so many lessons I have gotten from this podcast (and all of his podcasts actually). I suggest you check this out and go back and check out his other podcasts too.

This helped me to record a podcast dealing with this subject that I think affects all of us. Click HERE for podcast #263

Reminder for me...

5/4/2019

"Don't compete with others; make them compete with you."

This was a quote I mentioned awhile back in one of my podcasts and it took a friend of mine - Coach Ruekert, to remind me of that. Of course you can take a look at sports for this connection as I am sure that I used this during last season with our girls basketball team. But looking at it again, I need to use it for my everyday life too. In fact, probably more important that I do that. I know there are plenty of things that I just have to start doing instead of watching others do what they are doing.

The competing with others in one area is time. My time is being spent on things & people, where it's probably not the best place to be spending it on. When I'm talking about people, this morning in fact I spent a little bit of time watching Sports Center. Nothing wrong with that of course but after getting caught up with the world of sports (which I enjoy), instead of watching more, I knew I had to get caught up on my blog. I knew I had to follow up with a couple of important people and reach out to them online. I knew I wanted to get my day started running some errands that need to be done. All of this instead of competing with watching others (tv) go after their dreams and goals.

It takes a little reminder like I got from Coach R, to get my head focused on where it needs to be and to start taking action in the areas that I need to. So, as I head off to start my day - I want you to take a look at the quote above and see where you are competing at - or who are you competing with. The TV? Friends? Your job? What could you do right now to where you are doing something you know you need to do and to have others wonder about the great things you are doing. :-)

5 Traits of Naturally Resilient People

4/15/2019

Found a great article about being more resilient and if there is something that I have always needed more of, it's this! The first point is to get some perspective. Stepping back to see what our challenge really is, and how "bad" it is, that's something I need to do more of. One of the things - I was just thinking about this morning on my way into work, was that gratitude gives me tremendous perspective. Some perspective was shared with me (again) from Dr. Joe DiPonio, our Superintendent. He shared with my Leadership students last Thursday about Mr. Mike Popson who was a HUGE difference maker with him when he was a high school student. So much of a difference that Dr. DiPonio got into education and has really excelled (some would say over achieved... hehehe) at being a difference maker for others.

The second point was to be realistic about where you are. That one hits me on many levels, first of all is my age of 53 and that leads me to thinking about so many different things. My career as an educator and basketball coach and the fact that I am so grateful for each of those and the people that have come into my life from these 2 awesome professions. So fired up about what is next in my career too since it will still be about being an educator and coach.

The third point is to take responsibility. This one again, there is some element or relief and comfort when we realize how important it is to take control of things in our life. Owning the things that we do and letting go of the things that are not important or essential - that is the key in life.

Got to love this next one - Having a sense of humor! I was just talking with a former student today and a few coworkers too. This subject came up with all of the. We have to laugh. Especially at some things that are so bad that getting upset will not help, but laughing makes you feel better and I have found it to help calm me down so that I can see some other solution, some other door so often appears that will help me with the original problem. Plus I've heard it's good for you health wise to laugh a few times a day.

Last of the five points is to have courage. It's one of the most important factors in life. Some of us are better at it than others. I am not one of those... yet! I have been working on increasing my courage all throughout life. I'm getting better but I realize I need to keep working on it since I am not where I want to be nor am I at the place where I know I have to be!

Great article - check it out for yourself HERE.

Staying Positive When Life Gets Hard

2/7/2019

This article that I had my students look at for one of their recent weekly blog assignments had a great title: "How To Stay Positive When Life Gets Hard." It was a very short article that really focused in on 3 people and their thoughts about staying positive.

"Nothing is ever achieved without some trials and tribulations. The first step in moving beyond those circumstances is to remain positive. Without that, you’ll be perpetually stuck in the situation. No good has ever come from negativity."

— Mark Lee, founder and CEO of MDMartin, LLC

It's a good reminder for all of to remember that our lives do have a lot of ups and downs throughout our time of being on this earth. Remaining positive throughout life is a better way to take on these challenges compared to having a negative one. For some people this is difficult and it helps for anyone to have other positive people around them, reading good information, listening to good information, having things to do in life that are connected to their passions and to taking good care of themselves too. It's totally possible to more possible and again, it will help you figure things out a better than a negative attitude will.

"Stay positive, focus on being mindful and keep a clear head. When problem solving, don’t get discouraged if it doesn’t all go according to plan. You can’t control everything in life or business, so embrace the adversity and dig in even further to drive a positive outcome. The harder you work for something, the more rewarding it is in the end."

— Amanda Ruisi, founder and president of AKR Public Relations

Amanda brings up a fantastic idea here - it has so much to do with our current mindset that we choose to have. Remember, we can't choose what happens to us most of the time, but we certainl can choose how we will react. The old saying about life is 10% of what happens to us and 90% of how we respond. It is worth the hard work. At least if things don't work out, you have practiced by giving great effort so the next thing you need to work on, you already have some good habits going.

"I was diagnosed and treated for cancer when I was 19, and I have a uniquely optimistic and positive outlook as a result. But maintaining that positivity still takes constant effort. When I’m feeling down or overwhelmed, one of the best ways to change my mindset is to focus on gratitude and finding awe in the everyday. For example, when I got burned out from business travel last year, I took time on every flight to focus on what I’m grateful for and to think about how unbelievably awesome it is to be in the air flying."
--Jennifer Benz, founder and CEO of Benz Communications

Even if we are blessed to never have had cancer to deal with personally, my bet is that we all know someone who has had to fight that battle. So this example is an extreme one of course, but it does allow us to see someone who is fighting a HUGE battle and the lessons we can learn from them and their fight that they have on their hands. Learning lessons from others and their stories is something we should always look to do.

Remember that there are plenty of examples out there; articles, books, podcasts, videos, seminars, shows, etc., where we can get some good information in order to create some good habits. Remember what Zig Ziglar's son Tom said "The fastest way to success is to replace a bad habit with a good one." This post hopefully helps you do that.

Making Each Moment Count - Mitch Albom

1/22/2019

The story of Mitch Albom visiting his old professor, Morrie Schwartz and the profound life-changing lessons he learned. His book "Tuesdays With Morrie" is a joyful and hope-filled book that you must check out. It is one of my favorite books of all time! There is even a move that was created from the book, which is again a special life-changing movie that you should watch. Check out the Youtube video of Mitch Albom's speech, HERE. (or you can watch it below)

One of the fist lessons he shares is the fact that after his first visit, Mitch thought about the fact that in his 30's he was not as happy as Morrie was in his late 70's. Mitch had his health, a life in front of him, a great job, etc., and Morrie was dying with ALS disease and he seemed 10X happier! What was that all about? Mitch had to find out more.

With all the visits that Mitch had with his "coach" on Tuesdays, he learned enough to write his book that was set up to help with Morrie's medical bills. Taking vs. Giving. A great lesson about life being so much enjoyable and memorable when we give to others instead of just taking for ourselves. Life is all about giving and the relationships we can establish with others. That's a powerful message that all of us can take. This 12 minute or so video has some powerful & memorable ideas for us to take and make our own. Then we can give them away to help others in our lives. Morrie has had a HUGE positive affect on millions of people's lives. Read the book. Find the movie. Check them out in order to gain the full heartfelt messages and lessons. No kidding, I've watched the movie more than 70 times probably as it's been shown in my classes since it first came out, and I'm still learning new lessons every time I watch it. You can do the same. :-)

Things More Important Than Money

1/7/2019

Found a great article that I read over break and it was so great, that I wanted to have my students blog about it too! Having some time off over the recent Christmas Holiday Season always gives me time to slow down and do a few things that I normally can't do - read more, sleep in, relax, etc., and I am really blessed to be able to do that. You can check out the article HERE.

One of the nine factors the article talked about was actually #1 on the list - and that is TIME! Not sure why it's #1 from this author, but I would also put it at the most important spot too. It's the one thing that we all need to manage better. In other words how we spend our time. It's the one resource that once it's gone, we can't get it back. Contrary to some peoples thoughts - I do think we can manage time. We manage money - how we spend it, what we do with it. The same goes with time. I am constantly looking to improve how I manage the use of my time.

Determination is another big one for me. One of which I need to work on a lot more. I've been looking to improve this one for a long time and to me Courage fits right with this one. The whole confidence factor is one that is closely connected. I need to keep investing to improve all of these with myself. I can see that since I've been focused on these, my life has improved in many ways. Now the key is to ramp up the efforts needed to grow in these areas even more. Articles like this along with reading my students' blog posts are key!!

Final of the 3 points for me??? It has to be Heart and Soul. There are so many things that come into play here with this one. The passion and heart that we need in life for things that mean something to us - those are the things that we need to put more focus into. I just read one of my student's blog post about this same article. She mentioned that if she has passion and heart for something in her life - she will find a way to make it work and to ultimately make some $$ from doing it. Having heart and soul for life, for people, for things that we spend our time with, etc., it's one thing that as I get older I have found to be even more and more important. Important enough for me to keep working on them. :-)