Blog Posts - Coach to Expect Success

Forgiveness - with the help from Mitch Albom

11/19/2021

There was a great podcast by Mitch Albom on his "Tuesday People Podcast Show"... you can find it HERE. So many valuable life lessons come out of this story that Mitch wrote about him and his professor, Morrie Schwartz, in his award-winning book "Tuesday's With Morrie." Forgiveness is not only one of our Positivity Project character traits - it's one of the HUGE lessons from Morrie that he shared with Mitch in their conversations.

Morrie said, “Forgive yourself first, then forgive others." It's one of the things we tend to miss out on in life and I agree with that since I've struggled with this exact point. I think one of the main reasons for Forgiveness coming up at the bottom of my survey results for the Character Traits Survey that we did when we first started this Positivity Project - is mainly due to the fact that I have struggled forgiving myself throughout my lifetime. Morrie's right... the earlier we start forgiving ourselves, the easier it will be to not let others get in the way of living our lives, all due to what they say to us (or about us), along with what they might do to us too.

The examples that are shared in this podcast are amazing ones for sure. I think they are things that we all can connect with and learn from. This brings to mind that we can easily see that hopefully we are able to see that really all of humanity falls into this issue of learning how to forgive ourselves and others. We also need to remember that it's not easy & that it takes constant work too.

Besides listening to the podcast show (link above), it would be a great idea to check out all the items at Mitch Albom's website (mitchalbom.com) Check out his books... all personal favorites of mine - especially "Tuesdays With Morrie".

Integrity - It's Kind Of A Big Deal

11/19/2021

I found a fabulous article about Integrity, all from the perspective of a wonderful difference maker who was a long-time educator and basketball coach. His name was John Wooden. Here is the article about the connection he had to Integrity - Click HERE.

One of the main things I drew from this article - and from studying the man for most of my life, is that this is such a necessary building block for a good life and we all need to work on it as such. It goes way beyond ourselves too. If we lead a life of integrity, that helps us to connect with more people for sure. It's one of the things (the many things), that the world needs more of for sure. It can lead to a good night sleep, I tell you that. Living a life of character and integrity... it's the softest pillow ever!! We don't have to be worried about lies, or things we said or did, coming back to cause us much trouble.

His "Pyramid of Success" is something that has stood the test of many years. Integrity is like the cement that holds all of these blocks together. It is easy to see that all of these parts of his pyramid - and those Positivity Project character terms really do make life much easier to navigate through.

Being Present & Focusing On Giving Others My Attention

10/21/2021

Found a great video clip that comes from Tony Robbins that reminds us about the importance of being in the present moment - wherever that might find us - it's really the only place to be. Check out the video HERE.

Many times we get caught up in the past along with worrying about the future too. We forget to look down to where our feet are, right now at the moment. I love that reminder as it's quick and easy for us to make sure we know where we are right now & that's all we can do at the moment, is be where we are at. I heard something recently from another podcast that gets right on top of this topic. It was mentioned that what keeps us up at night are usually fearful, negative, worrisome issues. Where the things that usually get us out of bed are more hopeful, inspiring, things to go after for the day, etc.

It's all part of not looking in the rear-view window of our lives and not focusing too much of the things way out in front of us either. My good friend, Dr. Jeff Lip has mentioned it many times - if we get focused too much on the past, often times it leads to depression. The fact that we are not as young as we used to be, the relationships that we lost, the regrets start piling up, etc. If we focus too much on the future - we get anxious, worried about things we think are going to happen, etc. We miss out on the present, the place we are currently at. It's the only place that we can actually do something about.

Finally, when I am able to focus on other people and looking to help them; I am finding that not only do my problems get smaller, but I find out new ways & ideas of dealing with them too. It allows me to open up to see new possibilities instead of being locked up inside my own head and trying to figure out solutions just from my perspective.

Having An Open Minded Mindset, Sure Does Help

10/19/2021

Listened to a great podcast recently where Ann Hiatt was a guest on John Lee Dumas' podcast, "Fire Nation". She had so many powerful things to say that it got me going in some great thinking directions, not only for myself, but also my students too. I had them listen to this podcast to help them see the connection to the week's Positivity Project connection to Open-Mindedness.

Check out the podcast HERE.

A few things that I connected from this podcast & I know will help me with what I want to do in my profession as an educator and a coach - First, there are so many "behind the scenes" things or "under the radar" things that I can do to build myself & my profession, stronger & having more of an impact. The little everyday things that go unnoticed by most - I can focus on them everyday, knowing they bring value to what I want to do. Waking up early, reading more, getting to work early & getting prepared. Making time for others to help solve issues & questions before they become problems. So many things that we all can do, that might not get other people to notice - but we know are the right things to do.

Second thing that stood out to me was the idea of staying ahead of myself as I learn new things, pick up new skills, be open to new opportunities, etc. There is this mindset of "reinventing" ourselves every so often. I certainly do not want to stay where I'm at as far as abilities & knowledge. It's become apparent to me recently that I want to keep learning new things, meeting new people, coming up with new ideas, etc., until my final day on earth. That's just me.

Finally - there are so many different paths towards success & that one way does not work for everyone. Success is such a broad definition for so people. One thing for sure that I'm seeing more and more (especially with my new position as an ESL Coach at school) is that my positive attitude / outlook / mindset, etc., is a difference maker. I see many people that are of the opposite mindset and I see the struggles they are having compared to others. Remember, having a positive attitude / outlook / mindset, does not mean you don't have problems. It means that you can solve them A TON better with a positive mindset than with a negative one. THAT IS FACT!

Teamwork Connections with John Maxwell

10/6/2021

John Maxwell always has some great wisdom to share when it comes to Leadership & Life topics. Teamwork is something he knows a lot about. He reminds us that as humans, we are not put here on earth to go through life alone. I love his quote - "If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go with others." It's so true as we can see any great thing ever done in life has all been connected to a group of people and not just one person. One truly is too small a number to achieve greatness.

I always look at a basketball team (as I stared coaching in 1982, it's been a major part of my life) and I always remind players about it takes 5 people to do great things on the court. Just as we don't dribble the basketball with just one finger - it takes all five fingers to control the ball; great things on the court cannot be done by just one person. It's like that in work, with our families, with our friends, etc.

Watch this "Minute with Maxwell" video to get a little bit more details as to what he is talking about.

A Little Bit About "Curiosity" with John O'Leary

9/27/2021

One of the many things I need to work on is doing what I say I'm going to do. Once again, I am challenging myself to complete a blog post each week - not just any blog post, but the same blog post assignment that I have for my students. We have them connected to our Positivity Project (P2). There are different character traits (24 in all) that we focus on during the school year. These character traits - not surprisingly - are NOT just for K - 12 students. Those of us who have gotten through our own K-12 experience and became adults, need these things (I think) more than our students do!

The episode I listened to from John O'Leary was this episode Prioritize Things That Matter with Christy Wright (ep. 394) - find it HERE. So many lessons that I got out of this show (as I do with all of his shows). Being curious is something that does not come natural to me like it does to my wife. I have been forcing myself to be more "curious" by finding things to listen to, watch, read, etc., to keep working on getting better.

I traditionally have not been one to ask a lot of questions, but I'm finding when I do - things go so much better for me in so many different ways. This quote caught my ear -

“Some of the most incredible career opportunities are not positions that are posted but problems that are solved.” – Sheryl Sandburg

This got me thinking about the fact that I need to be more curious to thinking about solving the problem that pops up, rather than getting worked up about it. It happened to me one time yesterday afternoon and one time this morning already, where I had just the slightest mind-shift to looking at something to solve or do something good with compared to complaining about it. AMAZING results from that.

Secondly, this struck me right in the face...

What if “balance” isn’t so much what you do but something you create + become in your life? Life balance is not doing everything for an equal amount of time. It’s about doing the right things at the right times.

I simply need to be curious enough to look at a bit more closely as to how to make this work for me. Figuring out about doing more of the right things, at the right time - and not rushing through them to simply get them done. I think the more I open up to see what those items are, the more growth I'll have along with getting closer to goals and dreams that I have in my life.

Finally, these points that I lumped together really made an impact on me:

Start doing what matters, stop doing what doesn’t matter in today’s season.
“If we are not careful we will spend our entire lives checking boxes and never stopping to ask ourselves if those boxes represent anything actually worth doing.”
Create an ideal schedule. Take your current calendar and a blank calendar:
- Move over the things you have to do.
- Move over the things you want to do.
- Add whatever is missing.
“We judge others by everything they do and we judge ourselves by everything we don’t do.”

Instead of saying I don't have time for something / anything, I need to start asking myself the question -"is this a priority for me"? I love the mindset shift about this and asking myself is this something that matters to me in my life or is it something that I'm doing for other reasons that don't really matter to me, my family, my goals and dreams, my priorities, etc. This is a whole new thought process for me about being more curious and asking questions, looking deeper for some details, etc., that might help me figure things out more.

Christy Wright's book might be something for me to put onto my reading list.

Simple Formula for Life

7/6/2021

Found a great picture with some powerful thoughts on living a better life. It is a simple formula with many pieces to it that if we only do a few of them - our lives can be better for us for sure. The key is that all of these, I think, are easy to understand the importance of them. This is a formula that should be shared over and over again as it can help others live a great life. Imagine if more people took these points to heart throughout life. Good stuff for sure.

Each of these on this list can be implemented into our lives - I know I have plenty of these work on. I know every day that I need to keep creating better habits for sure. Things like this can help in doing just that. How about you? Any thoughts you'd like to share?

Check out my podcast episode HERE on this topic. (available on July 9, 2021) Thanks for listening.

Great Conversation To Have

6/10/2021

I listened to a powerful podcast from a recent TED Talk about an important conversation that we all need to have - it's a conversation with our future self! This sure got me thinking about sitting down with myself and having a long talk with my future self.

Listen to that TED Talk HERE.

There are so many things that not only can i help my future self out with but also so many things for me to learn about from this important conversation. I don't think many of us think about this. Meg Jay is a Clinical Psychologist who throws out some important questions for all of us to think about, even though this is really thrown out to those in their 20's.

My biggest thing with talking with my future self.... I don't want to disappoint him. As I write this... got a few tears flowing as I think about things that I am or I am not doing now, where my future self will look back to now & ask... what were you doing?? How come you didn't do that thing, that you knew in your heart back then?? It's one thing that I'm getting some instant feedback right now as I write this... my future self is helping me with this post .... it's all coming down to my lack of action in certain areas. Turns out I already knew this. He just confirmed it.

I'm listening to some 70's music... "Poetry Man" by Phoebe Snow is on... 1974 was the year. Now... from 1975 is K.C. And The Sunshine Band - "Get Down Tonight". As these tunes play and I look at the years, a couple of things come to mind. First, I was 8 and 9 when these 2 songs came out & I think back to our country and what was going on then. The troubles we had back then have been replaced with others. But the bottom line was that just about everyone didn't have this important conversation with their future selves. It seems that the entire human race needs to do that. Maybe even it's a generational thing we need to have talks with. Both before us and after us. We need to learn these lessons and start to put the action behind it to make better choices & changes we all need.

Appreciation of Beauty & Excellence

4/20/2021

One of the many great character traits as part of the Positivity Project that we use here in our school district, is that of Appreciation of Beauty & Excellence. As I should have been doing more of - doing the same blog assignments as my students - I need to get this one out. There are three things that I wanted them to write about & I will attempt to do the same.

When it comes to music - to me it's one of the beautiful things in the world and throughout life. I think it's the one great equalizer to all peoples in the world, no matter what language we speak - it seems just about everyone can connect with music. My example that I shared with my students today was from the band "Chicago" & the range of emotions that come with listening to their songs. One of their songs was on my '80's station that I listen to in my classroom throughout my day when class is not going on. I always think back to the year the song came out, where I was at in my life's journey along with the people in my life during that time. Some of them, sad to say, are not alive anymore which is emotional in itself. Also there are the range of emotions that I think to the times my wife and I have seen Chicago in concert (something we love to do & hopefully will get back to doing soon this summer)... the memories, enjoyment, etc., at these concerts with her are just so full of gratitude and emotion. The energy at a live concert is something that cannot be duplicated on a recording. We forget about the worries and concerns of life and lose ourselves in the live performance, even if it's just for a little bit of time. Nothing like it.
Nature - places that we like going to was the second part. My first thought was to Traverse City, Michigan. The "Chateau Chantel" is the place my wife and I stayed at in November of 2020 and we had a great time. One of the days was an amazing 75 degree day and the night that went with it was so crystal clear too. When we sat outside on the deck, I was lost in all of the stars that I saw! Never in my life have I seen that many stars so clearly and with such awe!! It made me think about how small we all are in comparison to our universe and beyond. Powerful reflections and gratitude on that night for my wife and I.
People - amazing examples of Beauty and Excellence are all around us throughout life. First person who came to mind - was Dr. Wells Cook from Central Michigan University. I met him my first class at 8 a.m. on a Monday morning starting out my Sophomore year there. Within 15 minutes of meeting him and hearing his story (former high school business teacher, turned college professor), I knew I wanted to become a high school business teacher. Up until that time I was thinking of 3 different careers the year before, but by this time I knew I would not go into any of them. So I was on the plan of getting a business degree when he came into my life. Next to my parents and my wife, Wells changed my life tremendously. He was all about excellence in everything he did & the difference that he made in my life along with thousands of others too. He is the main reason I become an educator and I can't thank him enough. I thanked him many times up until he passed away around 2005.

I think this topic is one for all of us to grasp onto and connect with. These are just 3 ideas or examples. There are many more that we all can connect to and we should connect to them as they will help us to focus on other things than just ourselves. Good stuff that should be part of life.

Love Mixed With Encouragement + Belief

4/2/2021

Sharing a podcast from John O'Leary never gets old. I'm really enjoying the fact that there are more of my students that are getting connected to him and they are finding the tremendous value that he brings wherever he goes. In episode 297, John has one his mentors and good friends, Rusty Keeley on as his guest. Rusty brings up so many great lessons to share but the key is what he has done for John O'Leary personally over the years.

Read this quote from John about his good friend Rusty - "He was encouragement when I needed a lift. Sage advice when I needed wisdom. A connector when I needed a new opportunity, a pat on the back when I needed approval and frequently a kick in the pants when I needed to take action, be brave and grow. In other words, over the past 15 years, Rusty has been my friend."

This is something that we not only need to have in life, but we also need to offer these things to others too. In today's world of 2021, it seems there are so many things happening around us, to us, to others, etc., that we really need great relationships in our lives more than ever before. I think the qualities that are found in this podcast are things that we all can to be. Authentic relationships are so valuable mainly since they seem to be not around too much any more. Especially due to the pandemic that the whole world has been under, relationships - good and genuine ones - have gone up in value more than ever before. Knowing what I know about the fact that is what life is all about - relationships - I want to make more of an effort every day in my life to invest in the ones that I have in my life. How about you? Once you check this podcast out from John O'Leary - reach out here with some comments or reach out to my through my social media connections. John O'Leary brings us great stuff that the world needs more of.