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Thanksgiving - Key moment in life that made a difference?

11/24/2011

2 Comments

 
As I sit here with a Thanksgiving morning cup of coffee, I got to thinking.  I just got back from dropping off my son at school at 7:15 a.m. to get ready for the Detroit Thanksgiving Day Parade.  His school marching band will be marching in it, for the 4th straight year and the last year, at least for him, as he will be graduating this year.  It hit me as to how much I will miss this part of Thanksgiving and how proud I am of all the hard work he has put in over the last 4 years.

The traditional thoughts of the many things to be thankful for came rushing into my mind.  I have seen a lot of Facebook postings on this subject over the last week or so.  Something my brother-in-law James asked me awhile ago while we were out celebrating my sister-in-law’s birthday.  He asked about what was one key memorable moment, difference making moment in our lives, besides our wedding and the birth of our kids was a key point too.

My wife and I along with James and Michelle, all took turns telling our stories.  It was very interesting, emotional and defining for each of us.  Mine was the difference maker a college professor was to me in my life.  Dr. Wells Cook at Central Michigan University was a man who I can really look back at meeting him as a defining, difference making moment in my life.  Sophomore year at CMU, not really knowing what career I had in mind as my first three choices of Sports Medicine, Broadcasting, and Hotel / Restaurant Management were not going to work since I
found out more details about each of those careers along with the fact of not having much faith in myself at that time.

Dr. Cook came into that Intro to Business class and I remember that moment after about 10 minutes of him introducing himself and telling his story on how he got started in life that the light-bulb went off in my head.  Combining a business degree with teaching!  That was going to be it for me.  I remember calling my parents and telling them about it.  They were excited and happy for me, surprised a little bit, but very supportive.  Dr. Cook connected with me and I remember something inside of me telling me to get to know him and ask him questions.  I introduced myself and it was amazing what happened from there.  I noticed other students that he had connected with coming around and asking him questions and he took the time for each of them.  I noticed how much he put other people first.  He pushed people to do their best in everything they did.  He believed in his students, he believed in me when I didn’t even believe in myself.  I spent so many times in his office talking about life, family, the future, etc.  He took me to lunch so many times so we could keep talking and I could keep learning; truly an amazing man.  He came to our wedding and we stayed in touch for all the years after up until he passed away from cancer about 6 years ago.  I remember thanking him so many times over the last few years of his life for what he did for me.   Next to my dad, he was a man that I told him that I loved him for what a difference he made in my life.  I’m sure glad I told him many times before he died.

From the time he took with me, and he was a lead connecting piece in helping me get my first teaching job after I graduated; I have focused my teaching career to follow the principles that he taught me.  It’s all about your students he would tell me over and over again.  I’m not where I want to be as a teacher, (or as a father, husband, etc.) but I’ve been working at it over the years to get there.  Dr. Cook has given me a great target to shoot for as I continue to try and be a difference maker with my students, both past and present.  So, as I sit here with my delicious cup of coffee, in the silence of an early Thanksgiving day morning, I think about Dr. Cook and how I can be more like him.
 
What is a key, defining moment in your life?  What is a key time that you can share to maybe help others, and really, help yourself? That key question that James put out that night for all of us to share, really got me thinking about not only other key moments in my life but mainly how many people might be able to say that I was a key, difference making moment in theirs??   Let me and others know about your thoughts on this.  Happy Thanksgiving to you and your families too.
2 Comments
Daniel A. Groves
11/23/2011 11:22:09 pm

Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family, extended family, and countless friends you have touched over the years in your profession John.

In reading your blog, I would concur that certain events are life altering in and of themselves, i.e., marriage, the birth of children, enduring the loss of a loved one, and surviving a major accident or disease. Beyond that, I have found that once or twice in my life, I involuntarily experienced an epiphany that so absolutely and astoundingly changed my life that I have not been consciously able to undo it!

I offer you a defining, key, and life altering campaign more so than a singular moment. In 1988 my daughter Jessica was born. And while my fiancé and I had all the best of supposed intents, they did not come to fruition. Instead, I was forced into becoming a single father in a foreign land being in the Marines and stationed in Japan. I was facing the break-up of my upcoming wedding, but more importantly, feeling huge guilt for creating a child, a soul, that would come into the world in a predetermined broken family and subject to the adverse decisions her mother was making.

With that entire dilemma heavy on my mind and heart, I decided to call an attorney state side in Virginia, where my former fiancé lived, to see what I could do to seek out the best possible remedy and future life for my soon-to-be daughter. The attorney said it would be a long, tedious, and arduous up hill battle that in the end would most likely yield losing results, but yes, I could try.

Shortly after my daughter was born, my attorney filed for full custody on my behalf. As the hearings and trial drudged on and played out, my attorney became more optimistic and began offering a few words of encouragement and hope for my chances of prevailing. At one point, the judge asked if I understood what I was doing in that by coming forward and requesting custody, should I not prevail, I would automatically be subject to the court for child support and other legal obligations that may not have occurred as readily if I simply returned to the state of Michigan and left the whole situation alone. I would have never done that.

On February 17, 1989, I was awarded full custody of my daughter and subsequently also prevailed in the court of appeals trial. To say that the entire ordeal was an emotionally depleting, physically exhausting, nerve-racking, and highly dramatic encounter & battle would be a gross understatement.

To your blog point, my point is this, whenever it is that such a time comes where you sincerely know in the depths of your heart that your initial thought and goal is the absolute truth that should be ... must be … pursued, then you need to set all else aside and avidly move toward accomplishing that truth. By setting all else aside, this includes the innate fear we all have, continual doubt and wavering of your resolve, worries about expenses that may be involved, and most importantly, any ... and I mean absolutely any … idea of not applying yourself 100% toward your best interests without being persuaded, manipulated, coerced, fooled, out-smarted, or feeling unworthy / inferior at any point in time during the entire process. Know in fact that your brain doesn’t lie to you and if you honestly know in your heart what must be done in any major event and your brain is in agreement, this is the only way to engage that event if you will prevail. And when I say prevail; I speak toward the state of peaceful content your soul will feel no matter what the outcome. For me, this was and is the one defining and key event that was a life altering experience. And while it did end up positive for my daughter and me, it also turned out to stand as my proof that it is the utmost truth when you combine resolve and hard work as the key ingredients to the base foundation of truth and hope, you cannot fail no matter what the results may be. The maturity, enlightenment, and wisdom gained will form and enhance your person in most beneficial ways that, in my opinion, contribute to that of self-actualization and fulfilling the purpose of why you ... your soul ... has come into this world of ours.

As a side note, I sit here and write this response to your blog today as an attorney who now goes into the courtroom to legally speak on the behalf of others much like the wonderfully influential woman who did so for me back in 1988. So you see, there are other collateral effects and benefits that come from being so avidly committed to your truth that you may have never even considered when first setting out to accomplish whatever it is you are dedicated to. In short, when it comes time to step up to the plate and get the job done, no matter the fear or barriers involved, no matter the discouraging odds against you, do not go about it half-ass or you will be defeating the purpose of your brain, heart, and soul’s insight.

Reply
John Daly link
11/24/2011 12:15:21 am

Dan... great response. It proves my point that everyone has a story to tell (many more than just one story) that can help others with the experience that has been lived by someone else. Your friendship and support means a lot to me. We will be in touch soon my friend. Thanks again Dan.

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    Coach John Daly

    In Education for almost 33 years.   Around coaching girls basketball for almost 40 years.   Looking to share insights, thoughts and ideas to help everyone find their own piece of success.

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